Smoke and Memories (The Dark Sorcerer Book 3)

by D. K. Holmberg

  She weaved through the streets, continuing to focus on the dragon stone ring and the power within it, but there came no response from Ceran.

  Every so often, Jayna detected a hint of dark magic, but that flared somewhere in the city before it disappeared.

  It was more than what she had been aware of before. Even after the Celebrants of Asymorn had been active, Jayna hadn’t seen nearly so much activity. It suggested that something else was going on. Maybe it was all about the combination of attacks in Nelar. Maybe it had something to do with both Asymorn and Norej.

  She still hadn’t learned why Nelar though.

  It had to be about more than this being some ancient foothold of the El’aras.

  There was some other reason.

  And once she uncovered that, she would know why Ceran had left her here.

  Jayna tore her gaze away from the houses surrounding the courtyard. Answers wouldn’t be found there. Gods, she barely knew anything about Nelar, despite having been here for the last few months. Everything seemed to leave her with more questions. She knew about the dular, she knew about the ruling seven dular families, and she knew about the relationship they had with the sorcerers—a continuously antagonistic one, but one where they had tolerated sorcerers for a long time. Up until recently. What else was going on?

  She was tempted to go and visit Char, but that was something for another day.

  As she headed back toward her home, she had the distinct sense that somebody followed her. She slowed, her brother’s lessons coming back to her—how to double back and loop around so she could avoid anybody following her too closely. When she did that now, she didn’t find anybody there. Either she wasn’t being followed, or whoever tailed her was skillful enough that they managed to avoid her detection. She tried another approach, sweeping around and searching for somebody who might have chosen to follow from a different direction, but once again, there was no sign of anyone. Maybe it was Matthew. He’d proven able—and willing—to follow her like that.

  She stayed in the shadows of an overhang of a particularly small building. Most of the buildings were stone, but this one was wooden, as if it had been built in place of one that had collapsed. There were other places like that throughout the city, though most of them were on the outskirts, closer to the forest’s edge.

  She didn’t see any other movement.

  It really was just her imagination. Jayna had gotten jumpy with everything that had happened, though she doubted anyone would blame her for that.

  She peeled away, heading back toward her home again. When she neared, she slowed down once more, doubling back, watching for any signs of anybody who might have been there, but still not coming across any. She tested with sorcery again, creating the pattern that would allow her to pick up on magic and sending it wafting down the road, but it detected nothing.

  On a whim, Jayna used the Toral ring, borrowing from its power to create a circle of energy that went sweeping down the street.

  She felt a soft energy in the distance.

  It wasn’t close—it had to be several streets away—but from what she could tell, it was a dark energy. She was tempted to go after it, to see if she could uncover anything about it, but then it faded.

  Whatever dark energy was out there must have known she had picked up on it.

  As she looked at the house, she had no way of knowing whether Eva had even returned. Eva still needed to deal with finding answers about her past, which she had not been able to uncover before. If they could find the answers now, Jayna owed it to her to help.

  And she had already begun to come up with some answers, even though they were not the ones she would have ever imagined. What if Eva was one of the ancient Ashara? Was it possible she was some sort of creature of fire that could take on human form?

  Her friend had gaps in her knowledge. For so long, they had thought those gaps had come from some injury she’d sustained, some trauma she had faced, or even some enchantment that had stripped them from her, but what if the gaps came from whatever magic she possessed that held her in her human form and had stripped memories from her?

  Raollet had said that taking on a human form would change an Ashara.

  She took another deep breath, and after probing one more time for dark energy, she strode forward, reached the door, and pushed power through it in order to unlock it, then stepped inside.

  Heat struck her, blasting her like a furnace, washing over her. The fire crackled with an intensity in the hearth that Jayna hadn’t experienced in quite some time. There were other times when Eva had sat before the fire, the blaze raging, but most of the time, Eva kept a comfortable fire, despite the normal warmth of Nelar.

  Jayna never really understood it, but if what she had learned about the Ashara was true, then it made sense. The Ashara liked hot, dry heat. Considering the kind of heat coming off of Eva’s blasting fire, what was drier than the air in her home?

  She closed the door.

  Topher wasn’t there, and Eva sat alone in front of the hearth.

  Now was her opportunity.

  She would’ve liked to have had more time to prepare, to decide what she needed to say to Eva, but she might not get a better chance to take a seat and talk.

  She grabbed a wine glass out of the cabinet. This was a conversation to be had with wine. She found a bottle resting near Eva’s feet, so she knew her friend had already started.

  Jayna settled down in one of the faded stuffed chairs and looked over to Eva, who sat with her eyes closed, her head resting back, breathing slowly.

  “Don’t say anything,” Eva said.

  Jayna swallowed. “I thought I would have a glass of wine with you.”

  “Don’t say anything,” Eva repeated. She popped one eye open, looking over to Jayna before closing her eye again and leaning back, resting against the chair. “I know what you were thinking.”

  “I’m not thinking anything,” Jayna said and gripped the wine glass in her hands, twisting it from side to side. Finally, she leaned forward, lifted the wine bottle, and poured herself a glass. When she was done, she grabbed the glass off the ground next to Eva and filled that one as well, offering it to her.

  Jayna set the bottle down and sipped the wine. It was an oaky flavor with earthy undertones, mixed with something that reminded her of the smell of the moss that grew along the walls in this city.

  “Where is this wine from?”

  “Not here,” Eva said.

  Jayna took another sip before holding it tightly and looking over to Eva. “We need to talk.”

  “No. You may feel the need to talk, but I don’t want to listen.”

  “I didn’t go looking for information about you, if that’s what you’re thinking.”

  “I wasn’t thinking anything other than having another glass of wine.” Eva lifted the glass and drank it in three large gulps before setting it back down next to her. She seemed to consider something for a moment before grabbing the bottle and filling the glass again, then downing that one too.

  “We still need to talk. After you left, I learned more from Raollet—”

  Eva raised her hand, cutting her off. “I said don’t.”

  “All he had were stories. That was it.”

  “I heard the direction that most of those stories were taking.”

  While they didn’t know if Eva truly was one of the Ashara, from the way Eva stared blankly, she must have started to believe it.

  “I understand if you’re scared,” Jayna said.

  Eva shot her a look. “Scared?” She shook her head. “I was scared when you started talking about the smoke attacking a dark sorcerer within the city. I was scared when I started to think that perhaps it was me, and I wasn’t remembering what was happening.” She looked down at her empty glass. “Do you know that I worry about what would happen if I were to suddenly start attacking without knowing what was taking place? I fear that might happen. I fear I don’t know what I’m doing all the time. I fear that even wh
en I take action, I might be losing those memories in the future.”

  “Have you lost memories of the time we’ve spent together?”

  “Only when I try,” Eva said.

  Jayna smiled. “Why would you try?”

  “I don’t know. Maybe it has something to do with the kind of things you have us facing. I don’t really want to remember a dwaring. Much like I don’t really want to remember some of the dark sorcerers we’ve faced.” She rested her head back, closing her eyes again. “It’s easier to forget.”

  They sat in silence for a few moments, and Jayna debated how much she was going to push. She had given Eva space for as long as they’d been together, and that space had been reasonable to Jayna, especially given everything she knew Eva had gone through—or, at least, everything she suspected Eva had gone through. Now she wondered if giving her space was a mistake and if it was time for her to push. Eva needed to face her past—needed to confront who and what she had been. Eva needed to remember.

  Eva reached for the bottle, but Jayna slid it off to the side, where it tipped and spilled onto the stone floor. “See what you did?”

  “It’s not the first time wine has been spilled on this floor,” Jayna said, motioning to another stain that had dried long ago.

  “You get mad at me when I spill wine,” Eva muttered.

  “I don’t get mad. Not about that. I get upset when you don’t want to talk. Kind of like now.”

  “You get mad because you always like to talk.”

  “Always?”

  “Far more than I do,” Eva said.

  “Everybody likes to talk more than you do,” Jayna said. “And in this case, I think we need to. You need to.”

  “You just want to go through what you uncovered.”

  “Yes. There was an enchantment that looked like your power but wasn’t the same.”

  Eva arched a brow. “There was.”

  “There was. After you left, Raollet’s shop was attacked again, and I suspect it was somebody using an enchantment to make it look like your kind of magic We have proof that there is somebody trying to use that kind of magic. Maybe even trying to make it look like you were involved—either that, or to make it look as if there’s another Ashara in the city.”

  “There you go.”

  “There I go with what?”

  “Using the term I can’t embrace.”

  “If that’s what you are—”

  “I don’t know what I am,” Eva said, sitting forward for a moment before leaning back and closing her eyes. She clasped her hands across her chest, holding on to the wine glass as if it were something that would bring her peace. “I don’t know what I am,” Eva repeated. “I’ve tried to figure it out. I know you don’t think I have, but I’ve spent days and days sitting and thinking and searching for answers. I keep thinking that if I work hard enough and long enough, the answers will come to me, but there’s nothing within me that has provided those answers yet.”

  “I don’t blame you for not finding answers,” Jayna said.

  “You blame me for something,” Eva said.

  “I blame you now for trying to avoid the answers. I think you’ve been incredibly brave through all of this. I don’t know how I would’ve handled it if I were in your position.”

  “You probably would’ve complained a lot more.”

  “And I would’ve drank a lot less,” Jayna said.

  Eva shook her head. “I don’t know what to make of what Raollet told you.”

  “I don’t either. Which is why the two of us need to keep talking.”

  “Why? What do you think that will do?”

  “Maybe nothing. But at the same time, if it provides you with an opportunity to find answers, then don’t we need to dig into it?” She leaned forward, holding her wine, and took a sip before settling back down. It really did taste strange, and it was more than just its musty notes. “If this person who attacked us is like you, and if we can find him, then maybe we can finally understand more about you and what you can do.”

  “What if I don’t like what I find?” Eva asked softly.

  Jayna opened her mouth but didn’t say anything. That was what this was about.

  It wasn’t so much about the fear of discovering what Eva might be able to do or what she might be; it was about what she learned about herself—and who she had once been.

  “We will deal with whatever we find when it comes.”

  “What if you find you have to target me?”

  “You don’t have dark magic,” Jayna said.

  Eva shook her head. “I don’t really know what I have or even what I am. And I heard what Raollet said. I saw what that man with a power similar to mine was willing to do. If he’s the one attacking dark sorcerers . . .”

  “We’re attacking dark sorcerer,” Jayna said. “And I don’t think he’s the one responsible for what happened with Char. We’ll work through this together.”

  “Unless you find out I’m a dark magic user,” Eva said softly.

  “That’s not what we’re going to find.”

  “You don’t know that,” Eva said.

  Jayna watched as Eva rested her head back, then she finished her wine and settled the glass on the floor. She didn’t want to drink any more at this point. She only wanted to have a conversation with Eva, to get her through this, but she didn’t know if she had the wisdom to do so.

  “None of what we’ve learned matters. All that matters is that we work together—the same way we have been ever since the two of us met.”

  “Even if I turn out to be a dark magic user?”

  “Then we will be a good pair.” Jayna twisted the dragon stone ring while sitting quietly for a few moments. “You know what I fear about the kind of power I’ve been pulling. You know I fear what has been happening to me, the way that power seems to be changing something for me. What happens if I end up turning into a dark magic user?”

  “You won’t,” Eva said and stared at the fire.

  “As you just told me, you don’t know that—and neither do I.”

  She turned her own attention to the fire, staring at it for a long moment, and she thought she understood just what Eva struggled with. It was the same sort of issue she had.

  But at the same time, Jayna had a much more direct possibility of turning into a dark magic user. It was the power within the Toral ring that gave her that risk, and the more she accessed that power—the more she felt the darkness at the edge of her vision—the more likely it was that she would find herself drawn into the dark power that existed out in the world. Jayna feared what would happen if that were to occur. What would happen if the temptation to use dark power became too much for her to resist?

  She sat back, resting her head, closing her eyes, and she could practically feel that dark energy out there, swirling around her, pressing in upon her. It flowed toward her through the Toral ring, almost taunting her, reminding her of its existence.

  “Aren’t we quite the pair?” Jayna said.

  Eva started to laugh. “I suppose we are.”

  Jayna sighed. “We aren’t finished with this though. I know you don’t want to talk about it now, and I’m perfectly willing to let it drop, but eventually, the two of us will need to have a conversation.”

  Eva just looked off to the side, saying nothing.

  Jayna started to get up but hesitated. “I’m going to need to find more information about what Raollet told me.”

  “About me?”

  “About you. About sorcerers. About the founding of the Sorcerers’ Society.”

  Eva turned her head, watching her. “What did he tell you?”

  “He suggested that the Sorcerers’ Society was founded by the twelve followers of Sarenoth, and that Sarenoth was somehow involved.”

  “And you believed him?”

  “I don’t know if I have any reason not to believe him.”

  “What if he’s trying to manipulate you?” Eva asked.

  “You know him better
than I do. Is that something he would do?”

  “I don’t know him all that well,” Eva said, turning her attention back to the fire. “When we got to the city, and you wanted me to start making contacts, I did the same thing I always do. I started going to antiquities shops.”

  Jayna bit back the slight smile she felt at the comment. What did it say about Eva that the place she went for information when she came to a new city was an antiquity shop? It fit with the kind of power she possessed, the power she tried to hide from herself—the power Jayna was starting to understand, even if Eva didn’t want to.

  “Assuming he’s not trying to manipulate me, it doesn’t really make a difference. At this point, what I need to do is find more information.”

  “Which means you intend to go to the outpost.”

  Jayna nodded. “I figured that’s where I can find those answers more directly.”

  “Will he help you?”

  Jayna took a deep breath. “I don’t know. Given everything else that’s happened, I don’t know if Char will be willing to, or if he’ll side with the Society.”

  “It’s not just siding with the Society, is it?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Well, it’s more than just siding with the Society. You’re asking him to realize that some part of who he is, some inherent aspect of the kind of power he possesses, has its roots in a darker place.”

  “You could say the same thing about my sorcery,” Jayna said softly.

  “You could, but you’ve gotten out. You aren’t so bound up in that identity—not the same way he is.”

  “I don’t know if he’s as bound up in that identity as you’d think.”

  “I’m not sure. I’ve spent some time around him since we’ve come to Nelar. I may not have the same experience with him as you do, but I recognize a man who’s tied to what he does.”

  “Do you, now?”

  Eva glared at her. “Don’t do that.”

  “I’m not doing anything.”

  “I see the accusation in your eye.”

  “It’s not accusation. I was trying to be playful, and apparently I didn’t do it so well.”

  “No. You did not.”

  Jayna got to her feet. “Anyway, I do need to go to the Society outpost, if only to try to find what records they might have about the founding of the Society. If Char has something that might help me understand, then . . .”