Xavier: A Men of Gotham Novel

by Daisy Allen

  "Hey. Enough," comes the expected gruff command from her husband and I pull away and give her a conspiratorial wink.

  "Oh, leave him alone,” Jade says to Kaine, “this tired old married mother needs some male attention now and again."

  Kaine doesn't say anything, just swirls his glass and stares at his wife.

  "Just kidding, I got plenty of male attention last night," Jade pretend whispers behind her hand and wiggles her eyebrows at Malynda, who giggles. I make a point not to look at her in case I give us away. It seems both ladies here have not been lacking in male attention lately.

  Kaine clicks his tongue and walks over to the dining area, sitting down and staring out the window.

  He and I bought our apartment building because of how it was structurally similar to this one. Wall to ceiling windows, strong concrete pillars, open plans. We both like our views, the open skyline in front of us. It’s how we think, using that space to unclutter the thoughts in our head. It’s why we work, why we’re brothers in business and in life.

  Why he’s the only person who could’ve saved me when I was flailing at rock bottom.

  I sit down at the table opposite him, looking at his focused gaze on the Manhattan horizon. I know a thousand things are running through his head. And judging by the way his jaw is tensing, I’m probably one of them.

  “Hey,” I say, breaking his train of thought. He doesn’t reply, just takes a sip from his glass and turns to me. “What’s going on?” He just lifts an eyebrow. He’s going to give me nothing. But I can play at that game. We’ve spent whole days together barely saying a word and yet still getting more done than most people in a month. “ I sent the contracts to Masterson. I expect he’s going to quibble about the 12-month trial period but he’ll sign. He needs this.”

  Kaine just nods.

  “Also, I’m going to hire another assistant, take some of the grunt work off Patti’s desk. She’s probably still at the office.”

  “Sure,” comes the one-word reply.

  “And I’ve booked you in for an appointment with Dr. Peters.” He frowns but waits for the punchline he knows is coming. “He’s going to see if your tongue-tiedness is because there’s something physically wrong with you or you’re just being an ass.”

  He inhales sharply and opens his mouth, “Xave-…”

  “Dinner’s ready!” Jade shouts out and I look over to see Malynda helping her to her feet as they approach the table. I shrug at Kaine and his eyes narrow.

  “Later,” he says and I have no doubt he’ll remember.

  “Where should I sit?” Malynda asks Jade who just waves her hand over the table. “Wherever you damn well want. We’re not very fussy.”

  I see her bite her bottom lip and come over and sit down at the table setting next to me, leaving Jade in the seat next to Kaine. Picking up the napkin I scan the table.

  “Um. I see empty plates and smell deliciousness but there’s no food. What are you playing at Ashleys?”

  “It’s coming,” Jade says, waving her hand. Just as she finishes shushing me I see Jaxon Sinclair emerge from the kitchen carrying a large tray, filled with plates.

  “Jax! Fancy seeing you here.”

  “Well, it’s my night off, so what else have I got to do but cook for my landlords?” he grins as the server behind him helps to lay the food out onto the table. Once the tray is empty, Jaxon reaches over and takes my hand, giving it a good pump.

  “No mac and cheese tonight,” he says, winking to Malynda. “But it might just be a new addition to my happy hour menu, since my kitchen loved it so much. I’ll call it ‘Malynda’s Mac and Cheese’,” he says before jogging back to the kitchen.

  “But… what? Her name’s Isabella,” Jade pipes up.

  Malynda, Kaine and I exchange an awkward look. He hasn’t told Jade. Probably for the best.

  “Hey, let’s dig in,” Kaine says, probably to distract his wife.

  “Er, yeah, this looks delicious. We’re pretty spoiled to get Jaxon to cook for us here. He likes to try stuff out on us before he serves it at the restaurant, so it’s usually his craziest inventions,” I say, taking Malynda’s plate and heaping it with something that looks like grilled quail and a strawberry and quinoa salad.

  We all go quiet for a moment, enjoying the food and wine.

  “I call dibs on leftovers,” Malynda sighs after five minutes of silence and Jade grins, happy that her guest is satisfied. “Or maybe we should save it for Xavier, since he never goes into that kitchen of his.” She gives me a pointed look and I remember there’s an unread note waiting for me somewhere in that unused kitchen of mine. “Hell, I don’t even know if his stove is real, maybe it’s made of cardboard.”

  Kaine chokes on his food and takes a sip of his wine.

  “Hey, most of my nights are spent at work dinners and the other half, well, someone has to keep Uber Eats delivery guys in work,” I argue, though there’s really no point.

  “At least he’s eating now. I think the first six months I knew him, the only thing I saw him put in his mouth were cigarettes and Scotch.”

  I feel rather than see Malynda turn her head and stare at me. It takes some effort but I continue eating, refusing to look at her.

  “Oh, really?” Jade asks her husband, and unfortunately, she’s too far away for me to kick her under the table.

  “Yeah. Not really sure what he lived on, it’s not like he was sleeping much either.”

  “Why weren’t you sleeping?” Jade asks the question that I can hear is churning in Malynda’s brain.

  “Um, I dunno. I was young,” I shrug.

  “How old were you?”

  “Eighteen.”

  “Wow, I just realized I don’t know about how you ended up here. If it’s anything like Kaine’s story, it’s pretty wild.”

  “Wilder,” comes Kaine’s one-word answer.

  “Care to share, Xavier?” Jade presses.

  “Not really. Nothing wild or special about it,” I say, finally locking my eyes with Malynda’s. “Typical guy meets girl, girl breaks guy’s heart, guy spends his youth trolling the streets of New York looking for her type story. That kinda thing.”

  “Sounds pretty special to me,” Jade muses. “How does the story end?”

  I lift my eyebrows, daring Malynda to answer. Darkness creeps into her eyes and she looks away, lifting her wine glass to her lips.

  “To be decided,” I finally answer Jade.

  “Curiouser and curiouser!”

  Kaine ignores my glare and turns to his wife, giving her a soft kiss on her cheek and she beams at him, lifting a hand to stroke his scarred cheek, everything else in the world forgotten.

  “So, um, Jade, I had an idea for the center,” Malynda finally speaks up.

  “Oh! I’d love to hear it.”

  “The gym that we’re building in the back, do you think we could maybe add a wall of mirrors and a barre?

  “Oh… like, for ballet or dance classes?

  "Um, yeah, I know you guys think that sports are really important to teenagers, so the gym will cover basketball and indoor soccer and all that, but, maybe some of the kids would like to try something different. It wouldn't cost much, we could probably get one of the local stores to donate the mirrors or even use scraps. That's what my parents did when I was little.

  “You dance?” Jade asks, her eyes lighting up.

  I hold my breath, waiting for her answer.

  “Oh. Um. I did. When I was a kid. Well, up until just after high school.”

  “Were you any good?”

  I want to jump up and yell, “Yes! She was amazing, she could make you feel with a simple arabesque, tell a story with just the life of her arm.”

  But I don’t. I don’t know how I stop myself, but I do.

  “I was okay. I loved it, I guess that’s the important thing.”

  “Why did you stop?”

  Now it’s my turn to turn and stare at her.

  “I… er,” she shrugs, keep
ing her focus on Jade. “I just wanted to try something different. I liked art too. So I went into interior design.”

  No new information for me.

  “Well, you’re very good at the interior design,” Kaine says. “And we are very grateful to you for donating your services to the center. But more importantly, to Xavier’s apartment. I’d like to have a place to sit when I go over there.”

  Malynda laughs, the sound echoing around the apartment. It makes me smile.

  “Yeah, sometimes the hardest thing is getting a client to let go of some of their old furniture. Not a problem with Xavier.”

  No. In my case, it’s my emotional baggage that’s holding me back.

  Twenty-One

  Her

  The evening at Jade and Kaine’s place is one of the best I’ve had in a long time. Barring my birthday dinner on the roof, of course.

  Kaine doesn’t talk much, but he’s always there, listening, present.

  Jade is a complete and utter delight, spending half her time gushing about her husband and the other half relentlessly roasting him. I wonder how they found each other, and I remind myself to ask Xavier what’s so wild about Kaine’s story. The scars on his face tell me that life hasn’t been kind to him, but it seems it’s done nothing but imbue him with a generous heart.

  It’s hard to keep my hands off Xavier all night.

  I take the lead from him, to see just how much he wants his friends to know about us. But it seems he doesn’t really know either. After the few tense moments at the dinner table, the wine did its job and we spent the rest of the evening laughing and sharing ideas about the center. He gave me a few looks that told me I wouldn’t be getting much sleep tonight and it was hard not to just stand up and ask for us to be excused for a few minutes.

  But by ten o’clock the day has caught up with me, and after catching me yawning for the third time, Xavier takes over.

  “Well, guys, since I’m expected back in the office in…” Xavier stands up and glances at his watch, “seven hours, I think it’s time for me to say good night.” He gives me a quick wink while Kaine helps Jade to her feet.

  “Oh my gosh, is that the time, I’m so sorry we’ve kept you up!” I jump to my feet, pulling on my jacket.

  “No, no! It was great! You’ve been such good company for me these last few days. It’s nice to talk to someone who isn’t looking at me like I’m breakfast, lunch and dinner,” Jade says, reaching over to give me a hug.

  “Hey. What about me?” Kaine says.

  “I was talking about you,” Jade quips, poking her tongue out at him.

  “Well, my hours are pretty flexible, call me anytime you need adult conversation,” I say smiling at her and meaning every word.

  “Xavier, can you make sure Isabella gets home okay?” Jade asks, offering her cheek to him for a kiss.

  “Oh, do I have to?” he whines, and I can see him biting his tongue trying not to laugh.

  “Honey, I don’t think we have to worry about her with Xavier,” Kaine says. “Though I’m not sure if the opposite is true,” I think I hear under his breath, but I’m not sure.

  Xavier’s smile freezes on his face for a moment before he recovers. “Goodnight, boss and boss wife.”

  I give them another wave and follow him to leave.

  He doesn’t say anything and I wait until we get into elevator before I speak.

  “What… what does Kaine know… about us?”

  He still doesn’t say anything even when the doors open and we walk through the expansive foyer and out into the chilly New York night.

  I turn to look for a cab, but his hand is suddenly hot on the small of my back and he leads me to a car waiting at the curb.

  A man jumps out from the driver’s seat and opens the back seat door. “Good evening, Mr. Kent.”

  “Sorry to have you out this late, Henry,” Xavier says, as he helps me into the car. The car door closes behind him and the city’s noise is completely filtered out.

  “How..?”

  “It’s Kaine’s car. He probably called for it while we were in the elevator.”

  “How do you know?”

  “Because I know my best friend.”

  It seems like the perfect segue.

  “And… how well does he know you?” I say, remembering Kaine’s comments scattered throughout the night that he might know more about me than I know about him.

  “You have to understand, Malynda, he literally scooped me up out of the gutter.”

  “You didn’t answer my question.”

  “He knows everything.”

  “So everything he said was true? Were you… were you really that much of a wreck?”

  “What did you think? That I was just going to let you go? I meant my promises to you, Malynda. Every single one. One letter wasn’t going to change that. So yes, everything he said was true. He knows everything.”

  “Including we being together now?”

  “I didn’t tell him but I’m guessing he’s caught on.”

  “He doesn’t seem too pleased about it.”

  Xavier doesn’t reply, just squeezes my hand and leans over, brushing his lips against mine. I forget everything for a moment, falling into his arms, remembering how I’m already becoming addicted to the comfort it brings me.

  I swivel around on the leather seat and lean back against his chest. It’s warm and blooms against my body as he takes deep breaths.

  All these years I’ve lived a life of my own creation. My real name, my past, locked behind a door in my mind. I didn’t think I was ever going to be confronted by it again.

  But here it is.

  The implication that Xavier wasn’t safe with me stings like a drop of acid down my sternum. But he’s right.

  And I know I should end this, before we fall too far.

  But I can’t.

  “Mmmm,” Xavier mumbles low into my ear and I turn to see his eyes fluttering closed as his head bobs forward, his cheek against my forehead.

  I pull his arm tighter around me, and let myself dream.

  Just one more day.

  ***

  “Wake up, sweetheart. Wake up, it’s just a dream!”

  “Don’t go!” I hear myself scream. My mouth is bone dry, almost cracking at the corners where I’ve opened my mouth to scream.

  “What? Go where?”

  “Just… don’t go,” I plead, wrapping my arms around his neck, burying my face in the sweaty crook of his neck.

  “Shhhhh, it’s okay. I’m not going anywhere.”

  “You promise?” I ask him, even though I know it’s unfair of me.

  “A hundred times. I promise it a hundred times,” he whispers, running his fingers up and down my spine.

  I forget how many times I ask him to say it again, but it’s still there, soft in my ears, as I finally fall back asleep, taking him with me into my dreams.

  Twenty-Two

  Him

  "Mr. Kent, where should I take this?" A lanky teenager in a hard hat and hi-visibility vest rolls a rusty wheelbarrow filled with broken glass over to me.

  "Firstly, if you call me 'mister' anything again, that hard hat isn't going to save you," I scowl. He just grins and doesn't look the tiniest bit afraid of me. Ah, to have the confidence of a 16-year-old. “Secondly, ask Gabriel over there. He knows better what’s going on. I’m just here for the muscle.” I flex my bicep and he laughs as he goes. “And hey, I'll give you $5 to call him 'Mr. Sinclair' though!" I call after him.

  I watch as the kid rolls the wheelbarrow over and says something to Gabriel who then looks up sharply at me and throws me the finger.

  I chuckle and return the favor, before returning to the pile of bricks in front of me that need moving to the giant bin parked out front. The construction is well past half-way and at the rate we’re going we shouldn’t have any trouble being ready for our grand opening a few weeks from now. It should coincide with the new school year, a perfect time to provide a safe space for the kids.r />
  To keep the labor costs down as much as possible, Kaine and I come down whenever we can to help out. It also means we can keep an eye on what’s going on, and get a work out in the interim. Truth is, when the place is up and running, I think it’s going to be hard to keep us away from this place. I can already feel myself attached to it, my breath embedding in the walls.

  “Seriously? Your pile has barely moved at all!” My boss yells at me as he rolls his wheelbarrow past me for the third time since I’ve been here. Like me, he’s left the Armani suit home for the day and is dressed in just jeans. Unlike me, he’s wearing a hoodie while I’m in a plain white T-shirt.

  “Wha? I have delicate hands. I’m not a peasant like you!” I yell after him.

  "And does Mr. Delicate Hands have time for a quick lunch break?" A sweet female voice asks behind me.

  “Well, that all depends on what the lunch includes? And whether it wants the hands to be delicate or rough.” I say even before turning around and seeing Malynda’s face.

  She’s holding a picnic basket in her hands, and I can see the champagne bottle’s neck poking out from under the blanket. “Hi.”

  “Hi,” she says back, a smile stretching from ear to ear.

  “What are you doing here?”

  “I had to drop off some plans for Jade so I thought I’d bring a picnic and you could watch me eat it.”

  "Wow, what an offer. But I think you're bluffing, I bet you're really here to watch me." I make a show of picking up some bricks, flexing every muscle I have, straining with the effort.

  “Wow, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you look so...manly. Maybe I should just sit back and watch you pour water all over yourself.” She wiggles her eyebrows and it’s so cute I can’t help but laugh.

  “Your wish is my command. But it's much more fun to pour water over you when you're wearing a white T-shirt," I flirt back, enjoying the banter. It's been over a week since the dinner at Kaine's house and she seems to have stopped worrying too much about the revelations of my life in the time we were apart. We were supposed to spend the day apart and get some work done, but I’m glad she couldn’t stay away. I’d been planning to sneak away and steal some time with her anyway.