Mirror Bound

by Kirsten Bij't Vuur

  He breathed: Got me, beloved!' and kissed me deeply. Of course he couldn't help moving along, making my feeling of riding him stronger. It was great fun, having surprised him as he usually tried to surprise me, and I was very happy to find him as energetic as ever.

  After our frolicking we rested a little, I always enjoyed the feel and the smell of him after making love, but he was clearly restless, I suppose he felt well enough to go out but was afraid Paul and I would make trouble for him because of his blood loss and the danger of infection.

  I asked him if I could see and feel the horns, and he bent his head over to me and laid it on my chest, fondling my breasts a little, suckling my nipples, expecting me to concentrate despite it, I guess.

  Of course I had no problem checking them on sight, I could see no difference with yesterday, the horn couldn't show much anyway, but the base was cool to the touch and not swollen. Very sensitive though, even examining them aroused him and he wanted me to kiss him, which I did with great pleasure.

  But then I wanted to 'feel' them from the inside, and that was impossible to do with him touching me in all kinds of stimulating places, so I asked him to lie still for a few moments. He managed that, and I could feel no difference with yesterday, all was quiet and relatively normal.

  Coming back to the real world I found him already thinking of love again, but when I said: 'Don't you want to go outside?' he was distracted from that instantly: 'Can I?'

  I replied: 'Lukas, you're an adult, I can't forbid you anything. Can you stand up?' He hopped out of bed and showed me he was in great shape. 'How do you do that? You couldn't even stand on your legs yesterday,' I asked.

  He ran to me, jumped on the bed and wrapped me in his arms. Then he said:

  'It's the love, it feeds me.' And that was all he could explain. I just had to accept that. I had a day off, but still we got up early, Lukas couldn't stay still, and besides, Paul deserved to know he was out of danger more than anyone.

  So we dressed quickly and went downstairs, but in the hall we could clearly hear the furnace and the ringing of a hammer, so we went down two more floors to the workshop.

  Paul was there, hard at work already, in deep concentration. We didn't dare disturb him, so we just watched him work until he looked up from his project and saw us. Lukas rushed him and wrapped him in a bear hug, whispering in his ear.

  Paul was clearly very happy to see him so lively, and returned the hug with enthusiasm, saying: 'Who could have done less for you, dear Lukas? I'm just glad to see you looking so well. Melissa has taken really good care of you.'

  With the mentioning of my name, Paul looked at me, and the intense love in his expression just stopped my heart. I stood frozen to the ground with my body's reaction to that look, not passion, but something much, much more.

  Neither of us could move for a few seconds, and when we finally got our mobility back we merely approached the other, took each other's hands, then

  embraced and stood together, cheeks touching. I felt the pure force of his love, how had he ever kept that shut away so tightly for such a time?

  After some time he released me a little, looked at me and kissed me lightly on the mouth. He said: 'I'm happy to see you. And I'm very happy to see Lukas so well. How does he do it? It must be magic.'

  Lukas was not disturbed or embarrassed in the least to observe all this, he seemed to thrive on love around him. I hoped he had started to understand the subtlety of Paul's love by now, Paul didn't show his love all that much physically, but it was clearly there, almost palpably so.

  Having confirmed our intimacy, Paul showed us what he had been working on already. Another silver cap, should Lukas want both his horns so adorned.

  And a pair of his high boots, adapted for Lukas to wear.

  'You will probably want to wear lighter shoes, not being used to wearing them and wanting to run in them, but this is the quickest I could do, in case you were well enough to go out today.' I wondered if Lukas would recognize the things Paul did for him as his way of expressing love.

  They did at least make an impact on Lukas, who had no problems showing his feelings openly and shed quite a few tears seeing what Paul had done for him. He couldn't speak, but he could thank him in a different way, and he bowed his curled head to Paul's chest, who accepted the gesture by caressing the younger man lovingly.

  They both needed to come to terms with the memory of yesterday's shocking events, and Lukas did owe Paul a big apology for manipulating Paul as he had done. After sorting that out, Lukas confirmed that he'd love to have both his horn stumps capped in the same way, so Paul glued the new one in place straight away, roughing up his curls over them afterwards. Then he showed Lukas how to strap on the boots, and with some adjusting the prototype functioned quite well.

  'I'll make a better, lighter pair as soon as we know what needs improving in these,' he promised, and with that, he offered me his arm and we opened the door and took Lukas outside for his first time.

  It was a glorious day, I don't think I had ever seen either of my friends so happy. Lukas had to adjust to the shoes first, they were high, heavy boots and stiff over his joints, but the fresh summer wind and the sun were enough to make him deliriously happy.

  Paul, still holding my hand and laughing, proposed to do a tour of his

  territory, the quarter of the city that he guarded. I wondered if Lukas would make it that far, with the heavy, clumsy boots on his feet, but we could always turn around.

  Walking through a few lanes first, with ancient linden trees on either side, heavy with buds nearly opening, already smelling heavenly with a few early blooms, we soon entered a little park within the city. It was still very quiet, so early in the day, and it was clear from the many flowering plants and trees that this was well kept.

  Paul told us that as a guardian he preferred wilder, more natural parks, but to me any green was welcome, especially this time of the year. We had nearly crossed the little park to the other exit, when Paul halted our progress by going to a little group of trees and examining them.

  'What is the matter, Paul?' I asked him, for he looked concerned. Lukas answered for him: 'They don't look so good, do they?' And he was right, the trees were ailing, having lost a lot of green leaves, new growth appearing where it shouldn't.

  Paul said: 'These are in bad condition, and they shouldn't be. The faeries of this place should be taking care of them, but I cannot see any faerie here.

  Usually they greet me when I visit.' This was way too weird for me, and I guess Paul understood that, for he asked me to 'feel' the trees from the inside.

  I did what he asked, laying a hand on the bark of the nearest one, and following the structure inside. The outer layer was much like Lukas' horn, only not so much flattened as squared parts, with thickened walls and layered alternatingly. Inside, there was flow, not red of course, but green, with fewer shapes. The green was not healthy, and the shapes seemed wrung somehow. I would have to touch a healthy tree to feel the difference.

  I could feel a little buzz and followed it to its source. There was indeed an absence in the tree, a vacuity, something missing. Not understanding, I went back to the now, and told Paul what I had seen. He nodded, as if this was what he expected, and Lukas seemed to understand too.

  'I'll have to look into that, but it can wait until we get home. You two can join me in my search.' We strolled on, but Paul was clearly a little distracted, though he did hold on to my hand almost possessively, which was not focussed on Lukas, but rather on the great unknown.

  When Lukas admitted to being tired, we went home, but not before we had visited a shop and Paul and Lukas had bought a pair of low elegant men's

  shoes, in quite a small size. 'You'll probably want them as small as is still credible, don't you Lukas?' he asked, 'small and light will be the most comfortable I think.'

  Lukas nodded, and when we arrived at the house the guys went into the workshop straight away, discussing the best way to make the shoes fit to hi
s hoofs and look filled-up: should they make artificial feet to attach to his legs, then just put the shoes on like on normal feet, or should they make the shoes fitting to a hoof. I stayed for a while, watching the process, but after some time I got bored and left to read another book on magic, hoping to find out about faeries without being made fun of.

  I was still not sure they were not having me on. I quickly managed to immerse myself in the book, my concentration unbroken until I heard footsteps on the stairs. Soon, Paul came in and behind him, Lukas, wearing the shoes like a 'normal' man. He looked totally comfortable in them, they suited him much better than the high boots Paul liked to wear, he moved completely naturally. The rather small size did indeed look natural as well, a slim man like him could very well have small feet. Lukas was clearly delighted with his newly found freedom, and he pleaded me to take him to work with me the next morning. I saw no reason at all not to take him along, it would be fun to show him around on the site and I told him so. 'Can I go out on my own for an hour or so?' he asked. 'Lukas, you're an adult, you can do what you want,' I said, 'here, take my key.' I handed him the key, and Paul and I watched him go out on his own for the first time.

  Then I sat down again, feeling a bit lost. Paul looked at the volume I had been reading, and said: 'I see you've been reading up on faeries. Any questions?' I had one important one: 'What do you think has happened?'

  Clearly worried, he answered: 'I don't know, I want to contact several of my allies to ask what they know. I'm considering visiting one in my own quarter tomorrow, Sir Nomes, who owns a manor house and a big park on the edge of town. He has a lot of faeries living in his park.'

  'What are faeries?' I asked him. He smiled, admitting: 'If you don't know them yet, that is a question that requires quite an answer. Will you sit with me and cuddle a little whilst I tell you?' Now why didn't I think of that?

  'Yes, please!' I replied. So we sat together on my bed, he held me against him, and I sneaked a hand under his shirt, caressing his chest. One in a while we'd exchange a kiss, but very languidly.

  My eager touch was clearly distracting Paul a lot, but he managed to keep his thoughts together: 'Faeries are intelligent beings that have lived in this land since before humans came here. They are a lot more varied than humans, some are human-sized and look a lot like us, some are smaller, some are less corporeal than we are, they live in close harmony with trees, or a body of water.

  The largest faeries are the smartest, elves are as intelligent or more so than humans, but they are much less aggressive and they have very few children, so where people have settled, elves usually either leave, or move to an alternate dimension of the same place. Though they are less aggressive than us, they can be really nasty to trespassers.

  The smallest and least intelligent faeries are the ones who stay close to and in harmony with one or more trees, taking good care of them. We also call them dryads. I'm afraid the trees in the park we visited this morning are ailing because something has happened to their dryads.

  I want to do a search tonight, to try and find a sign of them, and I hoped you might want to help me, it will be interesting to watch me do it, but searching is also a lot safer with someone present.'

  That didn't sound very good, so I asked: 'If it is so dangerous, why do you do it?' He looked at me as if that had never occurred to him, and said: 'It just comes with the job. My parents practised magic, so you might say I grew up with it. Being a guardian counts as a hazardous profession, but once the talent surfaces it's about the only career choice one has.'

  I could imagine that, and when another thought struck me I observed: 'So you must have wanted to be an inventor and artist very much, to take up double duties.' Deprecatingly he replied: 'So much so that I never found the time to have a girlfriend, setting me sadly behind in matters of love?'

  I kissed him once more, not so languidly this time, and retorted: 'This is me you're talking to, remember? I spent my teenage years learning a man's profession, I never had time for love either. And what is wrong about taking your time anyway?'

  We continued our cuddling quite naturally, not talking about magic anymore, or anything else for that matter. Being together was enough, we needed nothing else for quite some time. Then there was a tentative knock on the door, and we heard the key in the lock and Lukas came rushing in. Of course he expected us to be intimate, so he seemed quite surprised, I suppose, to find

  us both still dressed.

  Lukas was a bit hesitant to join us, I suppose our different customs around love made him insecure and shy around Paul and me. But Paul did not seem to mind Lukas' coming in at all, he looked mostly curious, eager to hear what Lukas had been up to I guessed. Encouraged by Paul's interest Lukas sat next to me, leaning into my embrace, resting his head on my shoulder, smelling of musk and fresh air. He seemed a bit out of breath and nearly ecstatic now his hesitancy was gone. Paul was the first to speak: 'And, did it work?'

  Lukas turned his head a little to look at him, replying excitedly: 'It worked beautifully, it felt as if they weren't even there, and no-one I passed gave me a second look.' Now I got curious: 'Did what work?' I asked.

  Lukas only managed a big grin, so Paul answered for him: 'Show her, Lukas.'

  And as Lukas bent his leg in one of those impossible angles he showed me his shoe from the underside. Instead of a heel, the shoe had a hoof! Paul explained: 'It's better for him to walk on the hoof itself, so we clamped the shoe around it, using the hoof as its heel. Lukas has just been for a run to test the construction, and apparently it functioned well, for he seems quite out of breath.'

  Now, Lukas could talk again, and he said: 'I have little stamina left, but it'll build up fast once I go for a run each morning.' The prospect of that clearly excited him, he was so happy.

  Lukas was still looking at Paul, suddenly hesitant again about something, until Paul said encouragingly: 'What is the problem, Lukas, why don't you just tell us?' 'I'm afraid you'll be mad at me if I tell you, but it's really starting to hurt me not to share it,' Lukas said, very shyly. This to Paul, not to me.

  Paul didn't say anything in reply, he just held out his arms to Lukas, who rolled from the bed, walked around to the side where Paul was sitting, and sitting down on the bed he nestled his head against Paul's chest, clamping himself to the larger man with his slender arms.

  I couldn't see any sign of discomfort in Paul at this show of affection, he simply held Lukas close and said nothing, as he usually did to invite the other person to speak their heart. But silence didn't help Lukas, I saw a large tear rolling over his cute face, and my heart went out to him.

  When Lukas didn't speak up, Paul cupped his face in both hands and looked him straight in the eye, and said: 'You can tell me Lukas, I won't be mad, I promise.'

  Still kneeling by the bed, my goat-man said something rapidly in Greek, then waited for the axe to fall. Though it had been a few weeks since he'd last spoken Greek, I clearly heard the meaning in my mind: 'I love you and I want to be close to you, but men don't cuddle here.'

  Paul lifted him from his knees and set him on his own lap easily, wrapping him in his arms again, curly head against curly head. 'I do love you, Lukas, I am just used to showing my love in a different way. I'm sorry if that hurt you, I'll try to be more hands-on from now on, but please don't expect a miracle.'

  And when, slowly, Lukas looked up at him, Paul kissed him on his lips, and as Lukas started to return the kiss Paul leaned back against me, and Lukas was sitting on top of him, my one lover bending over the other to share a loving kiss. And did I feel jealousy then?

  Not for the one, for I had always known Lukas would have other lovers, and that to be jealous would be to get hurt. But my feelings for Paul were different, and at that moment I realized I wanted him to myself.

  The next, I reminded myself I expected Paul to accept Lukas in my life too.

  And the bite of jealousy lost its power, and I enjoyed watching two handsome men that I loved share even more love.
Paul was not up to more than that kiss and a lot of cuddling, and Lukas didn't ask for more, had never asked for more.

  So Paul and I held Lukas between us, and showed him all the love we both felt for him, which made him glow. He was so cute and innocent, that neither of us could resist him.

  We had a quick lunch at my place, and Paul asked both of us to help him with the search. But Lukas pleaded to be excused, the outside pulled him and he wanted to explore. Paul asked him to keep an eye out for sick trees instead, which Lukas found an interesting challenge.

  He also offered to cook for us tonight, enjoying the idea of going shopping for groceries. He still had the key, so I handed over my money as well, and he was off, skipping down the stairs on his new, well actually, on his hoofs.

  Chapter 15

  Paul and I still sat at the table, and we both looked towards the door where Lukas had just left. He shook his head, got up and took the one or two steps towards me, then sat down on my knees, a leg on either side, embracing me so tightly I could hardly breathe.

  Managing to keep my mouth shut for once, I felt very proud of myself. If he felt the need to speak, he'd speak. I relished the occasion, so close to him, surrounded by his warmth, his scent, his breath in my neck.

  'Do you think he expects me to make love with him?' a voice breathed close to my ear. I replied: 'I think he just needs you to express the love you feel for him physically, no more, no less. He doesn't recognize the love in your care for him, in the art you make for him, in the little things that make you who you are. He loves you very much and wanted to express that in the only way he knew, but he didn't dare to. That hurt him.

  You welcomed his love, even managed to return it in a way he recognized, and all was well. He doesn't expect you to give him more physical love than you feel.'