Mirror Bound

by Kirsten Bij't Vuur

  Then I took him to bed with me, he looked so forlorn and cold, where else could I have put him? He crawled close to me and fell asleep immediately.

  The next morning, he tried to make love to me without my consent and I stopped him and became very angry.

  He was under the bed in a heartbeat, shivering in fear. I felt sorry and called for him. He jumped on my lap again, and I explained I was still a virgin, and that he had to ask before he did that. He asked, and I consented.

  His attempt had felt really good, I wanted to make love sometimes, and I realized that waiting on Paul would take a very long time. Besides, somehow I knew he needed it badly, needed it to live. So he very carefully made love

  to me for my first time ever.

  It was good, I wasn't sorry. We could communicate now, he spoke his language and I mine, and I just knew what he'd said. You knew too, didn't you?'

  I looked at Lukas and he nodded, clearly deeply touched by my remembrance of our first meeting. In a thick voice he said: 'I could understand you. But to be honest, I don't remember very much of that first meeting, you describe me as someone hardly rational, a starved and much abused animal-like man, and I think I must have been just that.

  My reactions seem to have been very primal, I can usually control my urges.'

  'But you were very polite, and your voice in my head was even eloquent, not brutish. And your lovemaking was tender, considerate. You were not a beast.

  You may have been in a dream-like state, but you were not like a starving animal.

  Making love improved you a lot, isn't that true?' Lukas nodded again: 'I remember more after that, you left me and I hid in the shower room.' I nodded. 'I had an appointment with Paul for a magic lesson, and I was a bit ashamed I had made love an unknown creature whilst I was so much in love with him.

  Still, I told him everything. He was shocked by a real person coming out of a piece of art, he had expected the magic to loosen me up, start going out, date other men. And he was more shocked when I told him about the loving, but though I felt ashamed, I didn't regret it, I knew it had been important.

  Paul came with me to check on Lukas, he was gone, hidden, Paul found him easily, I went to him, he had seen Paul's magic with sight. Paul heard him speak and spoke back in Greek. They could communicate with language, I still did with, feelings, I guess.

  The next days Lukas and I made love often, he still seemed to need it badly.

  Paul taught him metal crafts by day. His condition improved and he learned English fast. He really hated it that Paul repressed his feelings for me, and clearly had totally different customs than us.

  But we've grown a lot closer since then, I knew Lukas would see other people, but I got together with Paul and have been ever since. Lukas and him have grown closer too, Lukas loved Paul from early on, but Paul needed more time. We share a lot now.'

  Paul, looking almost grey again, swallowed once, hard, then spoke up: 'I was very, very jealous all the time. It made me act, made me forward. Melissa would probably have given up on me if Lukas hadn't made me so jealous.

  But I loved him as well, it was difficult. And I want to add, that I wrapped the mirror in black velvet sprinkled with salt water with rowan-extract, and put it away in the deepest, darkest cabinet in my cellar. If you want to examine it, you can come visit or take it home with you.

  Can you please sit with me?' This to me, in a pleading voice that wrenched my heart. I sat on his lap, held him, reached out with my mind to share my boundless love for him.

  He accepted the touch and we sat in report until he revived a little. What was it with him, he still seemed so insecure, and vulnerable.

  Having caught my question, he said, softly: 'Yesterday with Lukas, I relived my loneliness as a child with my uncaring parents, and as a young man, when my sister stopped loving me, and my new family was lost to me. Those memories are now still there, but distant.

  The memories of loving you so desperately and seeing you with another man, not understanding the nature of your connection to him, those memories are still fresh and very painful.

  I'm still so very much afraid to lose you. I'm afraid the strong bossy man you fell in love with was just a role I played, this scared, vulnerable boy may be the real me.'

  Now, Lukas seemed to come to life, and clearly saying: 'Nonsense,' he came towards us. I gave up my place on Paul's knees to him, though I did hold on to Paul's hand and his mind. Lukas now kissed Paul on the lips, until Paul gave in and returned the kiss wholeheartedly.

  I could literally feel Lukas' talent at work again, removing the pain and the doubts out of his past from his more recent memories. It was done quickly, Paul didn't really suffer from these memories anymore, being reminded of the events just raked them up once more.

  But since we were going out to hunt tonight, he could not afford to be distracted or weakened by memories or doubt. Lukas just speeded things up.

  Lukas lost energy at the normal rate, but it was replenished as quickly as it was pulled out of him.

  That was interesting. Now Lukas' shield came up again, his own shield, and he took Paul's head by the jaws firmly, then said to him: 'You are a strong

  bossy man, that is your nature, make no mistake.' Then he embraced Paul, laying his head on his shoulder for a while, and relinquished his seat back to me. Back on Paul's lap I just felt very content, very secure.

  Now George, having witnessed Lukas' talent in action, was very much interested, that was easy to see, but he controlled himself admirably, and said:

  'I will contemplate what you told me, and I do want to see that mirror.

  I have a working theory that I want to check. Those abductors are an alien race that does nothing for fun, they only work for money. Someone must have paid them to abduct Lukas to their world, and his home-world can easily connect to theirs and back.

  Lukas was not treated well, but he was not tortured either. Just starved of love and food, his innate power taken away from him and a beating now and then. No mutilations, death threats, real torture. Your father has some nasty enemies, I guess they'd just kill you and dump your body in a hole somewhere, why bother hiring expensive mercenaries to rough you up a little?

  What caused you to lose so much consciousness that you behaved as instinctively as you did until you gained your energy back by making love?

  I put it to you, Lukas, that something drained your magical power totally, and that thing, a portal between our world and the mercenaries'. Why would a portal appear just at the moment you needed one most? I dare state that it was not coincidence, that your escape was planned by the person who hired you abducted, namely your father, and that accidentally it came out on our world instead of your own.

  It was meant to bring you back home with a talent, but it got you lost in a different dimension instead.

  Now it was Lukas' turn to relive memories, and wonder how his own father could ever put him through such abuse and despair. And I was happy that he turned to us for comfort, though it was as incomprehensible to me that someone would do that to his own son.

  His dazed look reminded me of the abused creature behind my hearth, and I opened my arms in welcome and said: 'Come'. He was in my arms in a fraction of a second, and in Paul's as well as a natural consequence of my sitting on his lap.

  'But why would he do that?' was Lukas' heart-rending question.

  'Fear and exposure, as well as physical and mental exhaustion have been

  known to awaken latent magical talents. Self preservation, so to say. Could you pick up feelings before you went through that ordeal?' George asked.

  Lukas answered: 'No I couldn't. And I couldn't heal myself by making love.

  And I couldn't mentally communicate with people speaking another language either. I could only hide really well.'

  George said: 'I'm sorry, Lukas. They probably didn't mean to strand you in a dimension virtually impossible to reach. The chances of being found are still incredibly slim.'

  Now L
ukas sounded really hurt and angry: 'Don't count on it, my father is a god. He can achieve quite a lot of impossible things. Apparently even give his worthless son magic, no matter what the cost.'

  Of course we looked at him to see if he meant that statement. 'Yes, I said my father is a god. Hermes. Messenger of the gods, fastest thing on our world. I knew I was a disgrace to him, but not to what extent, or to what lengths he'd go to remedy it. If he wants to, he will find me, and he'll take me back, in chains if necessary. Please don't let him take me.'

  With this plea my indomitable goat-man turned into a miserable heap of near-humankind, tearing my heart out in his sadness and fear. Paul and I enclosed him in our arms, ready to protect him from his greatest fear, his own father.

  But George was not so certain of his approaching doom: 'Lukas, there are a million worlds and as many dimensions, how is he ever going to find you?

  There is no clue near that hole of where you went, no place to start searching.

  Don't worry, I didn't mean to upset you so much, I'm sorry.'

  He looked at Lukas helplessly, I supposed he was stunned how fear of his father could reduce his self-assured lover to a scared boy in a second. Of course, George had probably forgotten that both Lukas and Paul were still very young, only a few years older than his son, whom I had already concluded was still very much a boy.

  And even older, self-sufficient boys needed their mother sometimes, which Frances realized all too well.

  She said: 'Let's all have another cup of coffee, and another slice of this lovely pie. Lukas, I'm sure George is right, he has studied travel between dimensions and it is very difficult. Even a god will find himself challenged with such odds, and as gods are not used to adversity, he'll probably give you up for lost, most likely has already. After turning your captors into frogs for failing their assignment.'

  And to be sure, Lukas looked up, smiling at the image of those horned devils reduced to frogs: 'They'd improve in looks.' Frances retorted: 'And in taste, especially to herons and storks.'

  The grim atmosphere was broken, the guys were back to their usual selves.

  We couldn't stay in one chair in a heap if we wanted coffee and pie, so we sat in a chair each, but we did keep a close mental contact.

  Sometimes a person just needed that, whatever their age or the profession of their father. A god! That meant Lukas was half a god, but he wasn't that special, maybe a god wasn't either if one didn't worship him.

  I made a solemn vow to myself, that I'd learn all the magic I could as fast as I could, and that if Lukas' dad ever turned up in a mean mood, he'd have to get past me to get at my lover.

  Chapter 32

  All those memories and emotions had left me hungry, and I enjoyed the coffee and pie. Then we confirmed a time to free the faeries and left for home, eager to be together, or maybe to do some physically demanding work in the guys' case.

  With the bicycles and Lukas running we were home within ten minutes, a bit early for dinner, so the guys indeed wanted to put some more work in. I finished my calculations quickly, emptying my mind in the process, and went downstairs to watch them work.

  They both seemed to have their equilibrium back, and I asked : 'Lukas, can you work and talk at the same time?' His answer was exactly as I hoped:

  'With this job, sure, what is it?'

  I exclaimed: 'Come on, Lukas! You promised us all the sordid details! Must I beg you to speak up? How was it?'

  He clearly loved being asked, and he started to tell us: 'After running around the property, I went to the house sweating profusely, to ask George to take a swim with me.

  I said: 'Hi George, I've been for my daily run, and I'm planning a trip to the lake to cool down, care to join me for a swim?' I stood just a teeny bit in his personal space, to see if my smell would turn him on, and I guess it did, for he seemed to sample it for some time.

  Then he answered: 'My, you smell enticing. And yes, I'd love to go swimming with you, let me change quickly and get some towels, and we can go.'

  'Change into what?' I asked for I seriously didn't know, and he said: 'Well my bathing suit of course.' I must have looked a sight, for he laughed and asked:

  'You don't use a bathing suit?' and I confessed I always swam naked, had never even seen clothes meant for swimming in.

  I said: 'It must be really uncomfortable, wet clothes on your body.' He said:

  'You're right, I'll just get the towels then.' And I commented: 'Why not make that one large one?' He looked at me in a strange way, strode away, and came

  back with a towel under his arm.

  We sauntered off, said goodbye to Frances, and had a nice short walk across the grounds. I walked without shoes, and George seemed intrigued by the way I moved, he kept staring at the ground.

  Soon we were at the lake, and we undressed, and I looked him over really well, and said: 'You are a very good looking man, George. I know people say clothing makes the man, and you dress really well, but you really don't need clothes to look very attractive.'

  He was checking me out too, but he still seemed rather embarrassed at my frankness and said, not exactly shyly, but clearly not entirely at ease: 'I'm old enough to be your father, Lukas.'

  I said bluntly: 'You look nothing like my father.' He sputtered: 'I mean, you're Ilsa's age, and you love women.'

  Taking a step toward him, I said: 'I've loved men before, George, and you're beautiful and experienced. Let's swim.' I dived in, and swam strongly, I could see he was attracted, then Paul's shield was gone suddenly and I could feel his attraction as well. George, seeing the shield vanish, came swimming towards me. I had instinctively put up a shield of my own, and he looked at it critically.

  He said: 'You've learned a lot Lukas, that is a very nice shield. What happened?' I replied: 'Thanks, Paul taught me the day after my talent woke, but he's kept a shield on me himself because it is so vital to my life. I guess he wanted to give me the chance to become really intimate, knowing you could protect me from being drained.'

  George nodded and checked my shield with a little bit of bright force. He said: 'Paul has taught you well. I see a little weak spot here, and here, can you see them too?' I checked and found them. He gave tips to prevent them, I practised them until I had mastered the technique. He observed: 'You are a very apt pupil. Your talent interests me.'

  I didn't want him to be interested in my talent though, so I dismissed the shield and closed the distance between us, and said: 'I've dismissed the shield, I want to feel really close to you. Do you mind?'

  I could feel his desire for me, but like you Paul, he can totally turn off his feelings so they don't show in his face and voice, and he asked seemingly dryly: 'Won't that drain your energy dangerously low?' I replied: 'Of course it will, but you can give me enough energy to stay safe, can't you?'

  The idea of sharing such incredibly intimacy with me caused lust to flare up in him, but the handsome face spoke: 'But Lukas, that would create an intimacy between us that I most certainly would not be able to deny. Do you realize that?'

  Of course I knew that, I could feel his excitement rising by the second, but apparently he didn't realize that I could see right through him without my shield. He thought I took him on face value, and his face said something totally different from his feelings.

  I can't do that, that must be something you guys learn growing up here.

  Anyway, I had him where I wanted him, so I decided to go for the kill.

  I closed the remaining distance between us, clutched him in my arms and legs, and kissed him full on the mouth. He couldn't but answer that kiss, he lost his self-control, his body took over. And oh, when you controlled types lose it you have such fervour, such intensity.

  He nearly overwhelmed my mind with his feelings, he'd ached to touch me since I'd healed his daughter and he saw me on the bed, exhausted and naked.

  Believe me, I didn't need any of his magic energy to make up for the cost of the empathy, his passion alone made me crackle wit
h power. I think the trick is not to think about it, just to let it happen.

  Through our physical bond he picked up my amazement first, then the near miraculous restoration of my magic energy. He broke the kiss immediately and asked: 'What just happened? Did you really restore all the energy your empathy took by kissing me?'

  I replied: 'I think it was the intensity of your feelings towards me that did it.

  The kiss was just the connection that brought the full strength of your feelings to bear.' He stared at me: 'You could feel my desire for you the whole time?' I nodded: 'When Paul took off the shield I instinctively replaced it with my own, but when I took that off your feelings were an open book to me.

  You are really good at keeping them from your face and voice, like Paul. Is that education?'

  'Don't distract me, Lukas, I'm trying to think this through. I suppose it is a combination of fitting into society and learning offensive magic, that takes a lot of control.

  So you can feel all that I feel when you are without shield?' I nodded.

  'And when I kissed you and the full force of my desire hit you, all the energy

  that your empathy had taken from you since you dropped the shields was restored to you?' That summed it up quite neatly, so I replied: 'Exactly. But just catching stray feelings doesn't take much energy. It's influencing them, like healing trauma, that pulls it out of me fast. Don't know what could keep up with that.'

  He contemplated what I had said, not minding my holding on to him and stroking his chest and his short greying hair, I must add, and said: 'I guess making love to Ilsa supplied some energy, but not enough to make up for the cost of her healing.

  It may have saved your life, though, her melancholia was way too profound to be your first healing ever. I guess if you had built up the intensity of the healings slowly, combining them with making love, you would not have suffered reaction shock.

  Reaction shock is trauma to your body that is caused by overspending magical energy. Your life force is converted to magic energy, and that can cause headaches, unconsciousness and ultimately, death.'