“Son, I…”
“No, any explanation that you might have right now, isn’t good enough, John,” I mutter. “You just cost me the love of my life.”
My voice is strained and hoarse as I hold the stares of everyone on the room. “She’s the first girl to make me feel like myself. The girl who, after all that has happened between us, has managed to break me a thousand times yet a single kiss can mend me, and I… I just lost her.”
“Julian, my baby, I…” Mom starts but I cut her off.
“You insulted her the first time you met then you broke her heart only to get at a man who was side-hustling a family war,” I scoff, the absurdity of the situation so clear in this moment, my stomach churns. “As if the fact that the woman she calls her mother is dying wasn’t enough, you had to go and take the last few hours they have together away from her, robbing her peace like it’s nothing.”
She looks away, the bravado, the cleverness and retorts all falling away. I turn around and look at my brother. He’s visibly bristling with anger, unshed tears and so much pain, it takes my breath away.
“There’s no better way of saying this, bro,” I start as Cole steps beside Liam, ready to offer support. “But Aiden could’ve still been with us today.”
“What?” John, Liam and Mom gasp at the same time. Yeah, if our parents actually they cared, they wouldn’t be shocked to hear this.
“See, the last week we had him at him before he had a stroke and was rushed to the hospital, he told me something…”
I don’t know how, but a hot, fat tear falls down my cheek. I don’t reach for it or try to wipe it away.
“He told me that he was tired,” I croak out, then stare up at the ceiling. “And that he was sorry.”
Liam steps forward, his face hard. “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying when he fell and hit his head, when he had that stroke…”
“He had a brain bleed and they took him in for surgery,” he finishes eyeing me.
“Yes, but it was too late,” I swallow the ball in my throat but it doesn’t go away. “So, they pronounced him brain dead.”
“What?” Liam gasps. “But you said the surgery was successful. You said…”
“I know what I said. The options were to either let him live the rest of his life on a fucking life support machine or to let him go,” I grit out, begging him to understand with my gaze. “Liam, I… he said he was tired, I saw it in his eyes.”
“So, you took it upon yourself to unplug him, and never told me?” he seethes, fighting for calm. Behind me I can hear Mom crying, but this is between him and I. “You know, on my thirteenth birthday, these two were fighting, you were in the gym trying to build muscle,”
“Liam,” John starts. We all remember that day. It was the day Liam and Aiden almost drowned in the pool.
“You know what he said to me for us to go down to the pool?” he grits out, tears now running down his face. “He said you deserved a break, and that we could look out for each other for a few minutes without inconveniencing you.”
Everything stops in me as he says that. The wheels in my head stop spinning, my heart stops racing and I just, stop.
“I’ve known all my life that you had our backs. I knew you’d always protect us, jump in front of freaking bullets for us. You loved us, all my life and all yours, you loved Aiden.”
“Liam—” I start but he cuts me off.
“I’ve known about the stupid deal you made with Dad and I also know you cheated him of that deal.”
I had no doubt he knew about that.
“But this,” he grunts. “I have no idea what to do with that. At least not right now. Instead, I’m going out there to look for a girl who not only touched my heart but sees and understands it. That should’ve been the first thing you did when she ran out that door, not sacrifice yourself for me like you always do.”
He turns on his heels and runs out the door, going after a girl I can’t follow. I know I should go after him and get her because fuck it all to hell, she’s mine, but I can’t move.
Just then, Mr. Perry walks in and stares at his son and me. He takes his hat off, then shakes his head. I know then that he heard everything.
“Well, that was dramatic, stupid and reckless, can’t believe they’re giving you two irresponsible fools diplomas, get yourselves together boys, life’s about to be a bitch.”
How do you get yourself together after losing so much in one night or morning or whatever?
She’s not at home when I get there to get ready for graduation. I go down to her room but it’s empty. Her dancing gear is also in here, the silk cloths she uses to wrap her feet in, the little Pointe shoes, her water bottles, everything’s here.
She’s not there when I leave and neither is Liam when I walk across the strange to ruckus applause of course, but none from the people I wanted there are in the crowd, cheering for me. Mr. and Mrs. Perry are there of course, with John and Courtney but I ignore them.
Cole gives the valedictory speech, but I don’t hear a word of his amazing speech that electrifies the crowd, but when he gets down, I see the pain in his eyes. We’re on the same wave length.
I can feel everyone’s gaze on me and my bandaged up knuckles, last night’s events as clear as day. I glance down at my hands and think of the first time I met Mia. I think of when she wrapped them up with so much care, she had me there and now here I am, busted up knuckles, without her.
I have no idea what happened with Sean and Shane, or Casey and that girl Kristine, but I don’t even give a damn. I need to find my Little Minx.
As soon as the ceremony is over, I hop into my car and drive around Palos Verdes, thinking of where she might be. When she dropped her phone at the police station, she left it there so I can’t fucking Geo-Track her.
I try Liam’s phone, but it goes straight to voicemail.
So damn angry, I drive to her old house, slip in and run to the studio. Apart from faint traces of her perfume, she’s not here.
Punching the mirror, I run back to my car and drive to her ballet studio in L.A, but the damn place is closed, she’s not there. I look like a mad man, on the verge of tearing my clothes off. I try to think of where she might go, but I come up empty so, I do the next best thing, I walk into a seedy bar and drink the day away.
Cole, Mom and John all try to call me but I ignore them, calling Mia and Liam instead. In my head, she’s all I can see, and I try to track my steps and wonder why the fuck she’s even doing this.
I’m not fucking John! I’m not as fucked up as both my parents. I didn’t tell him what she did three years ago. I didn’t tell him to go after her family. I had my own plan!
Why the fuck is she ignoring me? Why is she hiding when she’s the one who demolished every fragment of me? I tried to protect her from everyone, including herself and me. We’re both monsters, she knows that, but she hurt me!
“Well fuck that and fuck her!” I growl angrily.
“Okay, that’s enough for you, buddy,” the bartender who I lied to about my age says, but I cut him off.
“It’s enough of her torment!”
“Bro, her torment will never end,” the sad excuse of a guy says. “You better get used to it.”
“Yeah well, no.” I burp and then I think I see Cole heading for me, shaking his head.
“Come on, man,” he starts, putting down bills on the counter. “Let’s go. Paparazzi found you.”
“Ahh, how fucking cliché.” I burp. “You know that’s how it all started. But I think I hated her when she kissed me, man.”
“I’m sure you did, let’s go.”
“She ran away from me, Coleeee.”
Cole grunts or curses, I really don’t know, but soon, I can feel the wind in my hair. Then I think he drives me back home.
“She saw me beat the shit out of that guy and then she thinks I broke her and now, she’s running away from me?” I beat my chest. “Ha!”
“Dude, you’re a ho
rrible, sappy drunk.”
“I know, that’s why I never drink this much,” I shake my head vehemently. “Don’t even get me started on Liam. My worst nightmare is here. He hates me.’
“He doesn’t hate you.”
“Yup, he does,” I growl-burp. Shit, I don’t know what sound I make. “He loves her, man.”
Cole is silent for a moment, then he gets out of the car and comes to my side, the. We’re rounding the house to the back and that’s when I see her, walking down the beach.
“Mia,” I whisper, pushing Cole away from me.
“Come on, man, talk to her when you’re sober.
“No, I have to tell her,” I say then push him away. Next thing I know, I’m running toward her, with Cole running behind me. “Mia!” I call but she keeps going like she can’t hear me.
“Dude, do this tomorrow.”
No way. I want her to know now.
“Mia!” I shout.
She finally stops, turning around. I run toward her, my steps surprisingly steady and controlled. I hope I don’t look wasted but fuck this all to hell.
“Mia, you fucking stop right now.”
“Oh God,” Cole grumbles behind me but I ignore him.
“Damn you, Little Minx,” I grit out when I come to a stop in front of her. I don’t care about the way her body is shaking or the tears running down her face. “How dare you run out on me like that?”
“Julian, I don’t have time for this,” she whispers, then turns away but I run ahead and block her from the front.
“No, you don’t get to do that,” I growl, agony and something else I don’t want to analyze too closely tearing into me. “You don’t get to shut me out or shut me down, Mia.”
“You’re drunk.”
“I drank seventeen bottles of beer before I switched to the heavy stuff, so yes, I’m fucking drunk and heart broken, Mia. You broke me.”
“Come on man, stop.” Cole says. I fight him off, again.
“No, I want to get this off my chest,” I groan, staring down at her face in the dark. “I had time to actually think about your fucking kisses when I was drinking. You have devious kisses.”
“What?”
“You heard me!” I say, my head strangely clearing but it’s still hazy. “When I said it the first time, I thought I knew what I was talking about but I think I just wanted to hurt you.”
“Oh, like you’re doing now.”
“I don’t fucking care what I’m doing now, because I’m a shell of a person right now, because of you!”
“Me?”
“Yes, you! You kiss me and I can’t function, which is a fucking tragedy because you are corroding.”
“What?” she gasps, but it’s strangled.
“You are corroding. Your kisses corrode. Your heart is already corroded, empty, rotten and you wanted to kiss me with those lips? Sentencing me to an unending sequence of agony with yearning for you, aching for you, desperate for fucking you?”
She just stands there, so I keep going.
“I’m damaged, baby,” I groan. “That’s something you saw when I punched that wall three years ago. I never lied to you. I didn’t try to hide that darkness from you. Now you look at me like you’re scared of me. I’m not my father. It’s messed up what he did, but baby, you knew I hated him before you even knew my name.”
“Julian—”
“No, let me finish.” I mutter, stepping closer to her. “I won’t apologize for shit, just like I know your pride won’t have you admitting that you fucking fit with me! You belong to me. You love me. And now, you’re running from me, pitting me against my brother? Making him fall in love with you?”
“Julian, bro…”
“I fucking love you, damn you,” I growl. “You make me ache in places that shouldn’t ache. You make me long for shit that I don’t give a damn about, but because you care for them, so do I. I can’t get you out of my head. I can’t function when you’re stressed, mad, all that shit you do that turns my world upside down. I fucking love you, Mia and you know what? I wish I didn’t.”
“Shit,” Cole murmurs but I don’t stand there and wait for her reaction. I keep going.
“I wish I’d never laid eyes on you,” I grit out. “I wish you never existed!”
I step back and then stumble my way to the house.
“You’re going to regret that with every fiber of your being when you wake up.” Cole warns. “And maybe even for the rest of your fucking asshole life.”
Cole was right. Because when I finally get up and go down stairs the next morning, with a pounding headache, painful knuckles and an empty heart, I hear loud crying.
“What’s going on?” I ask Cole because Liam just stares at me from his place in the kitchen stool
“Nancy passed away last night,” Cole mutters, passing me a bottle water and Advil.
Oh fuck.
“What?”
“Yeah.”
“Last night…when?” I glance at Cole and he looks away.
“While you were out getting shit-faced, jerk.” Liam answers. “And Mia left.”
My fucking world stops.
“What do you mean she left?” I demand, my heart pounding, darkness filters at the edge of my vision and the water dropping to the floor.
“It means just that, asshole,” Liam grits out, tears in his eyes. “No one knows where she went. She just left on a fucking plane, without burying her…” He trails off, shaking his head, tears in his eyes. “You did this! And I’m not going to stick around and watch this happen while her mother’s face and illness is all over the news, the papers, social media.”
“The fuck?”
“Someone leaked the news,” Cole says, watching me with caution. “But they don’t know that Nancy Montague passed.”
“She left?” I whisper, unable to get that out of my head.
“Yes! Thanks for that.” Liam yells in my face, then he walks away.
Holy shit, what have I done?
THE END FOR NOW…
Oh my God, what have I done? I know. I’m screaming at myself the same question, and it’s all so messed up and so exciting, I can’t breathe.
Fuck my life, I can’t write a standalone worth damn. I’m so fucking sorry for this, but…part 2 is coming September 4th! I know, that’s what she said before but delayed. You have a right to be stunned and skeptical but as you can probably guess, this book ran over and Book 2 is already half done.
Keep reading for what’s to come. I promise an HEA, cross my heart and hope to die. (Well, I really don’t want to die. I haven’t met Trevor Noah, let alone told him I loved him.)
JULIAN
“I made you come three times in ten minutes, and you can’t text me back?”
“Hmm,” she hums, a cold, secretive smile on her face. I don’t know how she does it; make it seem like she doesn’t care when I know her heart is fucking pounding just because I’m close to her. “Maybe it’s because I’m a bitch.”
She flips her hair over her delicate shoulders, the space between her neck and right shoulder now marked by my teeth. As I recall, she loved the hell out of that pained-pleasure, making her hips move faster with the need to let go of the shit that goes on in her head.
“But then again, maybe I’m just a bitch.”
Ah, so this is what’s going on? Her little feelings got hurt, and now she’s serving up the silent treatment?
I step closer to her, enjoying it when her tiny body, wearing the hell out of those her leotard, tenses up. Tension radiates from her every pore, but her face in the mirror ahead still wears a neutral expression—her armor that she thinks no one notices. I do and I know that’s not what she’s feeling.
I press up against her back, bringing the hard ridge of my hard-on that’s pressing against in my jeans up against her firm ass.
Watching as her pupils dilate through the large mirrors, I lean in and whisper in her ear, making sure not to touch any other part of her body other than where we’
re connected now.
If I do, it’ll be game over.
“You’re a dirty little thing, I know that,” I whisper as her body shudders in front of me. “But the silent treatment? What are you, eight years old?”
“I don’t want to talk to you,” she grits out, her nose flaring, “And I don’t want you near me.”
“Really?” I whisper in her ear, then I press feather light kisses on the shell of her ear right before I pretend to nimble on her lobe, making her gasp. “So, why’s your breathing shallow?”
I said I wouldn’t touch her but to hell with that shit.
I wrap one arm around her waist—you can’t trust her with her fucked up mind not to fight this or worse, try to run away. Then with the other hand, I rip her fucking leotard at her thigh, and she moans. I haven’t even touched her and already she’s wet.
“Why can I smell your arousal?” I question, wanting in her right now. “You want more of me, don’t you, little minx?”
She doesn’t respond but a look of brazen lust transforms her face into a breathtaking mural that I want painted to hang on the ceiling over my bed, just so I can fucking come while looking at her because since she moved in, she’s been the only one that makes me feel…somewhat alive.
“If I touch you there, tell me, Little Minx, what will I find?” I grit out the words in her ear, then lick the shell, loving the way she jumps in arms like I just electrocuted her and that goes straight to my dick.
She groans low in her chest, her ass now involuntarily rubbing up and down on my dick. She wants this, she wants me to fuck her in the middle of her large studio.
“Nothing,” she whispers, her voice now thick and breathless. “Your touch is so repulsive, I’m dry as a desert.”
Devious Kisses: A Bully Enemies -To-Lovers Romance (It's Just High School Book 1) Page 43
