Arcane Survivalist: Apocalyptic Fantasy LitRPG

by Deck Davis

  The carcasses were dried up thanks to Ash using his Life Drain on them, and he guessed that one Ignis ball would set them all alight. He’d do it later, he decided. With his HP cost penalty in place, there was no point doing it now.

  “Barbequing goblin corpses is my specialty,” said Ash. “What did you wanna show me?”

  “I’ve taken the rest of the guys around the ranch, and I thought you’d wanna see it too. The grand tour, so to speak.” There was a look of excitement on Tony’s face that Ash hadn’t seen before; a kind of immaturity that seemed to banish the leathery wrinkles from his face.

  “Sounds good to me,” said Ash. “Listen, I wanted to ask you. Where’s your kid? I haven’t seen him around.”

  The excitement left Tony’s face, and the wrinkles came back deeper than ever. “I don’t have kid.”

  “But the room I woke up in…”

  “Ash, you need to learn to read subtle signals. Practice with this one; I don’t want to talk about any fucking kid. Not now, not ever.”

  The severity of Tony’s tone shook him for a second. He hadn’t meant anything by the question, but he’d struck a particularly sensitive nerve. Whatever had happened to Tony, he felt bad for him. He added it to the list of things he’d never talk about again.

  Ash nodded. “Got it. Sorry.”

  “Not your fault, you city-boy weasel. Now come on, there’s plenty I need to show you.”

  Tony gave him a tour of the ranch, but instead of walking them round it he just pointed and explained what he had done with the place. He sounded like a proud father bragging about how good his son was in school.

  There was a giant tank on the west side of the house. It was as close to the exterior wall as possible, and the roof of the house was slanted so that rain water could run off it, divert into a channel Tony had cut into the roof, and then collect in the tank, which would filter it and then store it for use. If there was ever to be a problem with the tank, Tony explained, there was a pond nearby that they could collect water from and boil if it ever came to it.

  There were two fields. One had cows grazing on it, with a barn at the end, and the other had crops planted. Tony’s plan was to breed the cattle and rotate the crops. In the barn, he had a store of dried and canned food that would be good for a year or two while he mastered self-sufficiency.

  There were solar panels on the roof of the house and barn which Tony had always planned to hook up to a localized grid. He’d tried learning electrics, but he hadn’t gotten far before the electricity had gone.

  “Don’t suppose you used to be an electrician?” he said.

  Ash shook his head.

  “Didn’t think so. You have the hands of a perfume salesman.”

  “Hmm. Maybe I would have been good at that, actually.”

  Out the front of the ranch, beyond the access gates, four thin wooden stakes were planted in the ground. The decapitated heads of four gobbles were stuck on them. Blood had dribbled from the cuts and stained the wood.

  “Marg’s idea,” said Tony. “To scare the bastards away if more of them come back. Let me tell you, you don’t wanna piss her off.”

  “I’m impressed,” Ash said when the tour was over.

  Tony put his hand on his heart. “Really? City boy gives me his approval? Oh my, how honored I am.”

  “Dickhead.”

  “Asshole.”

  Tony laughed, slapped him on the back, and they went inside.

  That evening, Marg served up steaming dishes of a stew she had made. As Ash took his first taste, he felt his stomach cramp. He didn’t realise how long he’d gone without food, and it seemed like his stomach was punishing him for it. The aroma teased its way into his nostrils, and he decided that he’d never smelled anything so divine in his life.

  “What meat is this?” he asked. “It’s delicious.”

  Marg looked down at the ground.

  Then the truth dawned on Ash.

  “This is goblin stew, isn’t it?” he said.

  “It’s a little chewy,” said Ellie.

  Chad sat up. The recruits buzz cut had grown out even more, and the prematurely greying hair strands near his ears were more prominent.

  “Can I have yours?” he asked.

  Ellie smiled at him. “Knock yourself out.”

  Chad grinned back, and the two of them held each other’s gazes for just a second too long.

  “Come on, Ash,” said Marg. “Meat’s meat. I tried some, and liked it, and decided to save some of the cows for later. You said yourself that it tastes nice.”

  When he thought about it, maybe eating goblin meat wasn’t so different from butchering a cow or a sheep. Well, there was the fact the cows rarely ran at you with a knife, but that was a minor detail. With the way the world was turning, they’d need to make maximum use of every resource they could.

  “It’s actually pretty good,” he said, and carried on eating.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Think We’ve Got a Couple of Voyeurs

  Marg stared at Ash as he ate. “So, we talked about it last night, Tony and me, and we decided you’re welcome to stay here at the ranch for as long as you need. I still half think that you should be strung up for what you did to the town, but Tony told me how much you helped him.”

  “Thanks, guys. Really. I know you could just tell me to get my ass out of here, and I wouldn’t really be able to complain.”

  “Not how we do things,” said Tony.

  Ash scooped another spoonful of goblin stew into his mouth. No matter how distasteful he found it, his belly ached for more, and his bowl was soon empty. Tony handed out a few bottles of beer. Ash drained the first one quicker than he’d planned, and pretty soon he started to get a buzz. He was a real light weight these days.

  Ellie cast a wary glance toward Jake, who lay on the sofa with his eyes closed and his chest rising and falling softly.

  “Marg says she heard on the radio that someone saw an old fella in a robe wandering around the outskirts of Tinago city.”

  “Tinago? That’s where my folks live. We can take the Bolton tunnel to get to it,” said Ash.

  Tony drained the last suds from his beer, burped, then reached for another bottle. “Yep. The tunnel through the mountains is only way to drive from Tinago to Pasture.”

  “And this robed guy…is he a mage?”

  “Well, said Marg, “Fella I talked to on the radio said they saw him shooting a bloody ball of ice from his hands. So yeah, darlin’.”

  “And let me guess, you think he might be able to cure Jake?”

  “Better plan than any,” said Ellie. “Right now, I’d sacrifice a goat if there was a chance it’d help.”

  “What do you think, FF?” asked Ash.

  Mages have various magic spells. It’s as good as lead as we’ve got right now. Maybe he’ll be able to help the boy.

  “You know,” said Chad, “It gets really boring when you have these one-sided conversations with yourself.”

  Ash heard a sound that caught his attention. He glanced over at the window and saw two ink-black crows resting on the windowsill. He couldn’t shake the feeling that they were trying to listen in to their conversation.

  Beele, said FF. He’s using them to watch you.

  “I think we’ve got a couple of voyeurs, guys,” said Ash, nodding at the crows. “Beele can jump minds.”

  Tony stood up. He picked his rifle up from the counter and walked toward the window. The crows squawked and then flew away.

  “We better be careful what ewe say from now on,” said Ash. “The pisswizard might be listening in from anywhere.”

  “Well, they’re gone now,” said Tony. “I’ll take a couple of scared crows over an army of goblins.”

  Within a few hours a plan was formed. Tony was generously going to loan Ash one of his vehicles, as well as enough supplies to make the journey home. They’d go through the mountain tunnel, try and find this mage guy and hopefully get a cure for Jake.

 
Chad was going to come with him, because he said he would only get bored if he just stayed at the ranch. Ellie was coming too, she said. There was no chance she was just going to sit on her ass.

  “What about you?” asked Ash.

  Tony took a sip of beer. “I’m sitting this play out.”

  Damn. Tony would have been useful on the road with his magic bullets and mana shield. Not only that, and Ash would never say it to his face, but he was starting to like the old guy.

  “No, you aren’t sitting anything out,” said Marg.

  “What?”

  “Look at ‘em, Tony. They’re greener than an alligator’s backside. They need you to get them to the city.”

  “No chance, my love. I’ve done all I can.”

  Ash nodded his head. “You’ve helped me more than I deserved, in any case. You’ve earned a bit of time to sit on your ass and enjoy a few beers.”

  “Well, Lord Ashhole, thank you for the drinking permit.”

  “Listen, everyone. I don’t usually get all gooey-eyed or anything, but I just wanna say thanks. You guys have helped me out, and I’ll do the same for you. From here on out I might still be an asshole, but not with you.”

  Marg glared at Tony. It was the kind of stare that Ash sensed Tony had faced at many points in his life. It was an unwavering one, an expression that would accept no refusal.

  Tony slammed his bottle down. “Ah god damn it, fine, woman. You win. I’ll help them get to the city.”

  They thought about taking Jake with them so that if the mage could cure him, it could be done straight away. The problem was that Ash, Chad, Ellie and Tony were going to be crammed into one of his vehicles, which left little room for supplies if they carried a comatose teen around with them. Not only that, but if they ran into trouble, Jake would be a major hindrance. Ellie didn’t like it, but a decision was made that Jake would stay under Marg’s protection.

  They spent the following day tooling up. Chad went to pasture and bought healing potions and extra mental fortitude potions from the alchemist, using gold they’d looted from the dead goblins. They loaded Tony’s truck up with food, water, flares and other supplies.

  Ash incinerated the pile of dead goblins, and soon the smell of the ranch air changed from cow dung to charred goblin meat. He’d wanted to explore a little of the area around Tony’s home and level up, but with Jake the way he was, he didn’t have time.

  When they were ready to leave the ranch, Marg came to see them off.

  “Remember,” Ellie told her. “He needs one fortitude potion every few hours. I’m leaving you with enough to see him through.”

  “Got it,” said Marg.

  Ash had tried drinking a health potion to top up his HP, only to find that it didn’t work on him.

  A blood mage can be powerful, said FF, especially when with the potential to kill a group of enemies with one chain Ignis. But it comes with drawbacks.

  Despite his previous warning, Tony let Ash Life Drain one of his cows. It needed to be slaughtered for meat anyway, so agreed to bring the slaughter forward a few weeks and let Ash recover the rest of his HP.

  With that done, they were ready to leave on the morning of his third day at the ranch.

  In many ways Ash didn’t want to leave the Shore ranch. They had everything set up for them to survive here, and the Shores seemed like a warm couple who would do anything to help others.

  He was glad to have tony with them on the journey. He was an encyclopedia of survivalist knowledge, and he’d be invaluable. Still, even though he was leaving with a police sheriff, a soldier, and Gandalf, Ash still felt cold when he thought about the new world they were journeying into.

  Things had been bad enough in a small town like Pasture Down, so he couldn’t even imagine what it had been like in the city. Ash had a strong feeling that he wouldn’t make it; that something was going to happen to him. It didn’t matter, though. He was beginning to realise that being a…what was the opposite of an asshole?...anyway, being whatever that was, meant thinking about people other than yourself.

  He turned and looked at Ellie, Chad and Tony.

  “We ready?” he said.

  The young recruit grinned. Ellie threw a cigarette to the floor and crushed it under her boot. She nodded.

  Marg gave Tony a hug. “Stay safe, you big lug,” she said.

  Tony held up his rifle and tapped it. “Don’t worry.”

  “Then let’s go,” said Ash.

  With regret in his heart, he drove the pick-up truck away from the Shore ranch and into the wider world, or whatever was left of it.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Jelly Sacs Full of Acid

  Ash was surprised that Tony had surrendered the wheel of the pickup truck to him so easily, but he was glad of it. Sitting behind the wheel made him feel like he was in control. His dad used to drive a pick-up for a while before he had to sell it, so it wasn’t too hard for him to maneuver. If anything, it gave him fond memories of being taught how to drive by the old man.

  They had driven twenty miles west of the ranch through plains of cracked earth where a blanket of grey mist hovered not far above ground. This, a decidedly alien feature, was from Rapto. The rate of the new world’s spread was worrying. How far would it go? There was no way of answering this other than to just watch it expand.

  In the distance, black plumes of smoke puffed up into the air. They looked to be coming from the city beyond the mountains, but wherever the source, it didn’t look good. The smoke was black and soft and it became an angry cloud over the otherwise-blue sky. Ash hoped to God that it wasn’t actually coming from anywhere near the Bolton tunnel. The dual-lane tunnel was their only direct way through the Lantern Mountains, and he badly needed to make his way through to the city.

  Before leaving Tony Fucking Shore’s ranch, they’d loaded up the trunk with survival supplies. That was the reason the truck was a little slower than usual, but Ash would take survival over speed any time. As long as it could bear the load, that was okay.

  The reasons they taken so much stuff for what should have been a one-day trip were twofold; Ash wanted to have supplies ready for his mum and dad, and Chad wanted some for his uncle and aunt. Not only that, but if anything happened on the road, they didn’t want to be left holding their cocks.

  The truck was packed with Meals Ready-to-Eat; beef-flavored food pouches that delivered a 400-calorie dose and could last a couple of years. They had a crate of water bottles, as well as water filters for when they ran out and needed to locate a source in the wild. Each of them had a sleeping bag. That was the essentials covered; food, water and shelter. On top of that they had topographical maps of the Lantern Mountains, a couple of compasses, two kerosene lamps and a kerosene stove. All they needed now was a TV and life couldn’t be better.

  The idea was that they would get to the city. They’d all go and see this mage in the hope that he could cure Ben. After that, they’d go their separate ways. Ash was going to check on his parents, and he wasn’t sure where he’d go after that. Chad didn’t know have a plan beyond seeing his uncle and aunt, while Tony would escort Ellie back through the woods. Not that she really needed escorting, she was tough as a pair of bull’s balls.

  Thirty minutes later, the smoke spread even thicker across the horizon. Ash started to feel uneasy about it, and he’d learned to trust those kinds of feelings.

  “Roll the windows up, will you?” said Tony.

  The smell of smoke crept into the pickup and covered them, seeping into their skin and clothes.

  When Ash pulled the pickup to a stop just short of the source of the smoke, he felt his stomach sink. There were abandoned cars and debris strewn all across the plains. Some of it smoking, some of it was smashed. Glass from windshields littered the ground, and the windshields that were still in place were smeared with blood.

  The archway of the Bolton tunnel was ahead of them, across a mist-covered rocky plain. The tunnel should have been an easy five-mile drive straight t
hrough the mountain range, but there was no way of getting through it today.

  It was carnage. Abandoned cars completely blocked the tunnel entrance, and queues of them went back through the tunnel as far as Ash could see. Windows were smashed, doors were opened. Trunks were left ajar, some with bags sat in them, and other rucksacks on the floor as if the travelers tried to grab their things and leave in a hurry.

  The closer they got, the more Ash’s eyes adjusted, and he began to see things. Extremely unsettling things. Blood smeared on a windshield. A crimson puddle near a car door. And then a hand on the floor. A leg. Soon, he saw dismembered body parts everywhere.