The Girl Who Wasn't There

by Nick Clausen

  It’s lying flat on its side. The woodpecker’s hole is pointing up into the sky.

  Andy’s heart turns to stone. He feels nauseous and dizzy as he slumps down on the trunk, burying his face in his palms, fighting the tears.

  He can’t believe it. They cut down the tree and killed all the baby woodpeckers. The thought makes him want to scream.

  At that moment, the chainsaws stop. Silence falls over the park. Andy can hear the men talk with each other; their voices lighthearted. One of them even laughs.

  How could they? How could they cut it down and kill those poor babies like that?

  Then, suddenly, Andy hears a chirping. He stares at the hole next to him, his eyes widening.

  One of the babies is still alive in there! Then, another one chimes in. And a third.

  Andy jumps to his feet. He can’t believe it: the woodpecker babies have survived the crash!

  A loud chirp makes him spin around. In one of the trees still standing, high up on a thin branch, sits one of the parent woodpeckers. It has brought food.

  Andy backs away. He’s no more than a few yards distance from the birch, when the woodpecker swoops down, lands on the tree and dives down into the hole. The babies tweet eagerly inside.

  Andy looks in stunned amazement as the woodpecker reappears and flies off. A few minutes later, the other parent comes, bringing more food.

  Andy hardly believes what he’s witnessing. The woodpeckers seem to pay little heed to the fact that the tree has been cut down. Apparently, they’re still firmly determined to feed their babies.

  “Hey, kid!”

  Andy turns around.

  One of the men is waving at him. “Better not play around here right now. It’s not safe. We’re cutting up the trees.”

  Andy points at the birch. “You cut down a tree with a family of woodpeckers inside!”

  The man frowns and comes to him. He’s younger than Andy took him for, maybe only twenty years old. He lifts his helmet, revealing a pimply forehead.

  “Jesus,” he mutters. “Looks like you’re right, kid. And they’re all still alive in there, judging from the sound.”

  “Yes, and the parents are still bringing them food,” Andy says.

  As though to prove him right, one of the woodpeckers lands on the birch at that exact moment and slips into the hole.

  “Jesus,” the guy says again, smiling broadly. “I’ll be damned. Hey, Tommy! Come over here a second.”

  The other guy joins them. He’s very overweight and sports a thick moustache. He heaves as though he just ran half a marathon. “What’s up, Cliff?”

  “Check it out,” the young guy says, pointing to the hole. “That’s a woodpecker’s hole. There’s a whole bunch of younglings in there—just listen!”

  Tommy looks at the hole, breathing through his mouth. “You’re right. Shoot, what a shame we didn’t see it before we cut it down. We could have left it standing. Now they’re probably not going to make it.”

  “They will!” Andy exclaims. “The parents are still feeding them.”

  Tommy looks at him, raising his bushy brow. “You sure about that?”

  “It’s true,” Cliff says. “I saw one of them just a minute ago.”

  Tommy scratches his neck thoughtfully. “Well, whaddaya know.”

  “You think we can do something?” Cliff says. “If we just leave it here, the guys will come tomorrow and chop it to chips like the rest.”

  Andy lets out a gasp of horror at the thought of the woodpecker babies suffering such a terrible death.

  “I don’t know,” Tommy says. “We could move it out of the way, I guess, except it’s way too heavy.”

  “What if we cut out the middle part?” Cliff suggests, snapping his fingers. “We only need to move the part where the hole is, right?”

  Tommy shrugs. “I guess it’s worth a shot.”

  Andy feels his hopes rising. He takes a few steps back as the men puts their helmets and earmuffs on.

  “Better cover your ears,” Cliff tells Andy, then he pulls the string, and the chainsaw roars to life.

  The men go to work cutting out about three feet of the birch trunk. The chainsaw bites into the tree eagerly, causing the sawdust to spurt into the air. Meanwhile, Andy notices both woodpeckers waiting and watching in a nearby tree.

  The men turn off their chainsaws again. By working together, they raise the piece of the trunk upright. The babies are chirping away inside.

  “At least the noise didn’t kill ’em,” Tommy remarks, looking around. “Right, if we drag it over there …”

  The men pull the tree stump across the soft ground and prop it up between two younger trees which have been spared.

  “I hope we didn’t scare off the parents,” Cliff says, looking around. Andy can’t see the woodpeckers anywhere.

  The three of them step back a little and wait. The minutes go by. No sign of the parents.

  “Hmmm,” Tommy growls. “Don’t look too good. Maybe we shouldn’t have moved it.”

  Cliff doesn’t answer; he glances at Andy.

  “Well, there’s really nothing more we can do,” Tommy says. “We’d better get back to it, Cliff.”

  “I hope they’ll be back,” Cliff says, darting Andy a smile. “At least the babies have a fighting chance now. Good thing you spotted the hole, kid.”

  Andy stays behind as the men go back and resume their work.

  He looks at his phone. It’s half past eight. He should have been at school more than half an hour ago. He doesn’t care, though. He needs to make sure the woodpeckers will keep bringing the babies food.

  At that moment, something comes whooshing over Andy’s head. The woodpecker flies to the piece of the birch tree and lands on the ground in front of it. It looks around, as though checking out the new surroundings.

  “Go on,” Andy whispers. “It’s okay. Go on!”

  The babies chirp from inside the hole.

  The woodpecker looks around one last time. Then, it flies up and slips through the opening.

  “Yes!” Andy shouts, throwing his fist to the sky. “Yes, yes, yes! They’re going to make it!” Without really thinking, he shouts out: “Cliff! Hey, Cliff!”

  Cliff is wearing his earmuffs, but still he hears Andy call to him, stops and looks over at him. Andy points to the birch and holds up a thumb.

  Cliff smiles broadly and returns the gesture.

  Andy feels very relieved as he hurries back to his bike.

  He’s almost an hour late for school.

  He runs down the hallway and reaches his classroom. He’s just about to knock, when the door is opened.

  Their math teacher Otto looks at him in surprise. “Oh, hi, Andy! Didn’t think you’d come today.”

  “I’m sorry,” Andy mutters. “I was just a little late.”

  “That’s okay,” Otto says, smiling. “I’m glad you’re here now. I just called your mom.”

  Andy freezes. “What? Why?”

  Otto shrugs. “I was worried about you. You need to call in sick if you can’t make it to school, remember? And since I hadn’t heard from you, I decided to call and check. Your mom sounded pretty worried, so I think I’ll call her back and tell her you’re here now.”

  Otto goes to his pocket when a voice cries out: “Andy! Oh, thank God!”

  Andy’s stomach curls up. He turns around as though in slow motion to see Mom come running towards him, her hair fluttering. She grabs him and hugs him tight.

  “Oh, dear God,” she breathes. “There you are … there you are … oh, God, I was so scared …”

  “Mom, calm down,” Andy says, trying to pull free. “I’m fine. I was just a little late.”

  Mom pulls back, and as Andy looks into her eyes, he can tell right away it’s New Mom. “A little late?” she repeats shrilly. “Otto calls me because it’s been almost an hour and no one knows where you are! You call that ‘a little late’? Where were you, Andy? Where were you?”

  “I … I was
at the park,” Andy says, glancing through the open classroom door. Several of his classmates have come to look at the scene. Andy feels the heat rise to his cheeks.

  New Mom doesn’t seem to care one bit how many are looking. She just stares right at Andy, her pupils contracted. “The park? What on earth were you doing in the park?”

  “I had to save the woodpeckers, Mom,” he murmurs. “They had cut down the tree, and …”

  “Woodpeckers?” New Mom exclaims. “You’re on your way to school, and you go looking for birds? My God, what’s wrong with you, boy? Don’t you ever think anymore?”

  Otto clears his throat. “Well, Andy is here now. I’m sure he’ll be more careful about the time in the future.”

  Mom looks at Otto briefly, as though only now noticing his presence. “Thank you for calling me, Otto. I’m terribly sorry about this.”

  “Don’t be,” Otto says, looking at Andy. “Come with me now, Andy.”

  Andy is very thankful to Otto. The teacher obviously senses how embarrassing the situation is for Andy. And if Otto hadn’t interfered, New Mom could easily have worked herself up into hysteria. Andy tries to walk away, but New Mom grips him by the arm.

  “Hold on,” she says. “Since you can’t be trusted to go alone anymore, I’ll drive you to school from now on, and I’ll pick you up afterwards.”

  “No, Mom,” Andy says, shaking his head in horror. “I’ll go straight to school from now on, I promise. You don’t need to—”

  “I don’t care about your promises,” New Mom interrupts harshly, pointing to his face. “This is the way it’ll be. Got that?”

  Andy stares at her, and he can tell there’s nothing to do. The frustration bubbles up inside of him. He’s painfully aware that both Otto and his classmates are watching him, awaiting a reaction. Andy feels like screaming. His face is burning.

  “Okay, Mom,” he mutters.

  New Mom’s expression softens a bit. She releases him and sends Otto a smile which is really more of a grin. “Please don’t hesitate to call me again if anything else like this happens.”

  “I will,” Otto says, forcing a smile.

  Andy hurries into the classroom, cutting through the masses blocking the doorway and heads for his desk. Somewhere in the crowd he can hear Sheila laughing scornfully.

  And from the doorway, he hears Mom’s voice: “See you at two o’clock, Andy. I’ll be parked by the bike shed.”

  Andy doesn’t answer.

  The humiliation is complete.

  DAY 80

  “It’s the most embarrassing thing I’ve ever experienced,” Andy tells Lisa. “And I can only come here with her as my warden now.” He nods at the window. “She’s parked right outside, waiting. Once my ten minutes is up, she’ll come and get me.”

  Lisa doesn’t answer him.

  Andy sighs heavily. “And now Sheila will have something new to bully me with—it’s just great.”

  This time, there’s a reply from Lisa.

  »sheila?«

  Andy realizes he has never told Lisa about Sheila. “It’s just a girl in my class. She’s a real pain in the butt. She’s always badgering me. I don’t know why, though, but it got a lot worse after Rebecca disappeared. She’s even started hurting me. Remember that day I had a scratch in my palm? That was her. She shoved me so I—”

  Andy shuts up as he suddenly becomes aware of what he’s saying. He sounds like a complete wuss, complaining about a girl bullying him.

  Lisa says something.

  Andy opens the book.

  »fight back«

  Andy is very surprised by Lisa’s answer. “What do you mean? Should I … shove her back? No, I can’t. She’s a girl.”

  »bring her here«

  Andy bursts into laughter at how unexpected the line is, then he looks around guiltily. Luckily, no one is around to hear him.

  “Why?” he asks, smiling at the book. “Why would I bring her here? What would you do to her if I did? Beat her up? You’re only a ghost, remember?”

  As soon as the words leave his lips, Andy hears how mean they sound. He didn’t mean for them to come out like that, not at all, he’s just in a bad mood.

  “I’m sorry, Lisa,” he sighs. “It’s just—”

  Andy stops as the chair begins shaking. At first, he thinks it’s his own legs, but then the shaking grows more intense, and the chair almost tips over.

  “Holy crap!” Andy exclaims, jumping to his feet. He stares at the trembling chair. “What the …? Lisa, is that you?”

  Suddenly, it’s not only the chair shaking, but all the shelves around him. Books begin raining down, thudding to the floor, the noise growing deafening. It’s like an earthquake going through the building, two of the shelves even tipping over with a couple of loud crashes, books spilling out everywhere.

  Then, it stops.

  It’s over just as suddenly as it began. A few more books slide to the floor, then complete silence falls over the library.

  “Oh my God,” Andy whispers, looking around at the devastation. “Why did you do that?”

  He opens the book still clutched in his hand. Lisa doesn’t answer him.

  Andy realizes that while the room is no longer trembling, his entire body is shaking. He’s terrified. Suddenly, he doesn’t want to be here anymore. He feels like someone is standing very close, staring at him with eyes full of rage.

  “I … I have to go,” he says to the empty air. “The ten minutes are up. I’ll … I’ll see you around.”

  He turns and leaves the library in a hurry.

  DAY 81

  The next day, Mom drives him to school as promised.

  As they pass by the park, Andy almost crawls out of his seat to look for the birch tree.

  “What are you doing?” Mom says. “Sit down, Andy.”

  He sits back down with a sigh. “I can’t see them from the street anyway.”

  “See who?”

  “The woodpeckers.”

  He can feel Mom eyeing him. “We can stop by the park on the way home,” she says.

  Andy looks at her, but now she’s looking straight ahead.

  “As long as you keep our agreement and comes straight out to the car as soon as class ends,” she adds, still not looking at him.

  “Fine,” he mutters.

  They reach the school and Mom drops him off. Andy looks around the parking lot as soon as Mom drives off, hoping that no one was around to see him. But of course, someone was.

  Sheila is coming towards him, flanked by her two faithful cronies, Kimmy and Stacey.

  Oh, crap …

  “Well, look! The baby just got dropped off at the daycare,” Sheila taunts right out the gate.

  Andy sighs heavily. Normally, he would avoid looking her in the eye and head in another direction in a hurry. But something keeps him from moving. Lisa’s line from yesterday suddenly appears in his mind’s eye.

  »fight back«

  Andy stays where he is. He feels the old, familiar fear come rushing up from within; but instead of reacting to it, as he’s so used to doing, he brushes it aside.

  “I’m not in the mood today, Sheila,” he hears himself saying—his voice surprisingly firm.

  Sheila stops in front of him, widening her eyes dramatically. “Uh, whaddaya know? The baby talks!”

  “Don’t call me that.”

  “You don’t tell us what to say,” Kimmie brays.

  Andy doesn’t even look at her; he holds Sheila’s gaze. “I mean it, Shelia. I’m done with this.”

  Andy’s heart is pounding away like a jackhammer, trying to make its way into his throat. But to Andy’s great surprise, he finds himself not caring anymore. He doesn’t care about the fear, and he doesn’t care about Sheila. He’s not the old Andy any longer, the nervous, submissive Andy who would let Sheila walk all over him because he was afraid. He’s still afraid, mind you, but he’s even more angry. And those words are still flashing in his brain, like a silent fire alarm.

&nbs
p; »fight back« … »fight back« … »fight back«

  The cronies are both cackling now, yet Andy doesn’t hear a word of it; he’s still just staring at Sheila, who’s staring back at him, a devilish smile on her lips.

  “I wonder,” she says, her voice playfully soft and sinister. “What will happen if we keep you here until class begins? You think the teacher will call your home again? You think Mommy might come running again? You’d like that, wouldn’t you, you big baby?”

  Cries of shrill laughter come from Kimmie and Stacey.

  “I’ll only tell you this once,” Andy says, his voice still firm. “I’m going to go to class now. And don’t you try and stop me.”

  Sheila’s eyes grow narrow. “You don’t talk to me like that. You don’t have the right to—”

  Andy simply walks right by her, cutting between her and Stacey.

  Sheila is so surprised, she doesn’t even have time to react.

  “Hey!” she shouts after him. “I’m talking to you!”

  Andy walks towards the entrance. He wants to run, but he forces himself to walk. He doesn’t want it to look like he’s fleeing.

  He can hear Sheila come running after him.

  “You stop right there!” she hisses, grabbing his arm. “I’m not done talking with you!”

  Andy doesn’t turn around, but he jerks his arm free with such force, he almost sends Sheila flying. She struggles to keep her balance, then she just glares at him in stunned disbelief. Her cronies come running to the rescue, shouting angrily at Andy. He just walks on towards the entrance.

  Sheila doesn’t try to catch up with him again.

  Andy heads down the hallway, his pulse still beating like a heavy metal band, his armpits are drenched from sweat. But a tentative smile is lurking at the corner of his mouth.

  I did it … I really did it!

  He can’t believe it. He stood up against Sheila, and he won! It’s almost too good to be true.

  In fact, it is too good to be true.

  As he steps into class, most of the students are there. A few of them look at him, and Andy feels like he can tell a difference on their faces. He feels like a whole new person, and he’s pretty sure his classmates can tell. He straightens his back and goes to his desk.