The Cowboy's Missing Memory

by Shannon Taylor Vannatter

  “But you already are,” Larae said, shooting her a knowing smile.

  “I’m such a failure.” She covered her face with her hands again.

  “Stop it.”

  “I’ve never been attracted to a patient. Never.”

  “So what will you do about that?” Larae asked.

  “I’ll ignore it. Do my job. And never see him again.”

  It was only a month. She could resist Clint’s tall, dark and vulnerable charms for a month, minus the half a week she already had under her belt. Couldn’t she?

  * * *

  Mom was acting weird this morning. She’d been dusting shelves that didn’t need dusting when Clint had gotten up. Seemed nervous and agitated as she cooked breakfast. Even with the smell of bacon, the scent of lemon cleaner hung in the air, almost enough to make him sneeze. Was she working up the nerve to blast him for competing in the rodeo after he’d promised not to? He’d expected her to be livid. Instead, she’d just been worried.

  Why had he competed? The ranch was in the black. It had been two years since it was in trouble. Two years of memories he couldn’t come up with, no matter how long he sat here at the kitchen table browsing through pictures.

  He flipped the page. Pictures of Cooper and newborn Charlee. He ran his fingertips over the images as if he could recapture the day by touching it. It had been good to see them last night. Even if it did boggle his brain. Even more than it was already boggled.

  “You sure you’re not hungry? You need to eat something before Lexie puts you through your paces.”

  “I’m fine.”

  “I need to tell you something.” Mom set her dustrag down on an end table.

  “Okay.” Here we go.

  “Dr. Arnett said we should break the news gently, let you get settled in. You did so well yesterday and I hate keeping things from you.”

  This wasn’t about the rodeo. A sense of dread coiled in his stomach. “What is it?”

  “I know that to you it doesn’t seem like it’s been two and a half years since we lost your daddy. But is has been. A painfully long time.”

  “What haven’t you told me?”

  Mom closed her eyes. “I’m engaged.”

  He sucked in a breath as if she’d kicked him in the gut.

  “I’m sorry. Maybe this is too soon to tell you.” She clasped his hand. “Ted won’t come around. Not until you get better. But I was so afraid one of the kids would let it slip last night. And I wanted you to hear it from me.”

  Ted? “The cat guy?”

  “Yes.”

  “There was no stray cat, was there?”

  “No. Lexie pulled that out of thin air. She was just trying to help me cover until you were more settled in. Of course she didn’t know I’m allergic.” Mom rambled when she was nervous.

  He searched his memory for scraps of Ted. Nothing. Apart from the other day when he’d first gotten home. “Do I like this Ted guy?”

  “I think so. You’ve been very supportive. You even offered to walk me down the aisle.”

  “He’s good to you?” he asked.

  “Yes.” She squeezed his hand, her voice shaking with emotion “I’ll always love your father, Clint. Ted doesn’t change that. In fact, I never thought I’d even date anyone. I thought I’d just remain a widow for the rest of my days. But I was so very lonely until Ted moved to the area six months ago. We met at church.”

  “Well, if you’re gonna meet someone, that’s a good place.” He tried to sound normal, like he was okay with this. In his mind, Dad had died six months ago. In reality, Mom hadn’t met Ted until Dad had been gone for two years. He had to reconcile that in his head. “You’ve only known him six months and you’re already engaged? He’s not some gold digger who found a pretty lady with a solvent ranch, is he?”

  Mom chuckled. “Definitely not. Do you remember hearing of Townsend Gas & Oil?”

  “They started drilling for natural gas in the area back when Dad was sick. He was hoping they’d drill on our property.”

  “That’s right. Well, Ted Townsend owns the company.”

  “And he’s not after your mineral rights?” he prodded.

  “Trust me, Ted doesn’t need my piddly hundred acres. I offered to sign a prenup, but he wouldn’t hear of it.”

  “Does he have kids?”

  “No. His wife was a diabetic, so they agreed not to have kids. For her health and to avoid passing the disease on.” Mom sighed. “She went into a renal failure and died a few months after your father.”

  A rich widower with no kids. No baggage. Sounded too good to be true.

  “You okay?” she whispered, hugging him tight.

  “Just trying to digest.” His heart hurt.

  She let go, patted his cheek.

  “Is there anything else I don’t know?”

  “Nothing of importance.” Her gaze locked on his.

  “I’m exhausted. I think I’ll go back to bed.”

  She frowned. “But you haven’t eaten yet and Lexie will be here soon.”

  “Just tell her I’m sleeping in.” He rolled himself down the hall toward his room.

  Mom was engaged.

  That made the fact that Dad had been gone for two and a half years painfully real.

  Chapter Six

  Lexie had barely pulled in the drive when Audrey came rushing out of the house. She jumped out of her car and hurried to meet her.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “I’m so glad you’re here. I was so worried Cooper or Charlee would spill the beans about Ted, so I decided to tell Clint about him this morning.”

  “How did he react?” Lexie asked.

  “He went back to bed, said to tell you he’s sleeping in.”

  “How long ago?”

  Audrey checked her watch. “Maybe thirty minutes. I shouldn’t have told him. But he had such a good day yesterday and he handled seeing the kids so well. I hate keeping secrets from him and I wanted to make sure he heard it from me.” She did a facepalm. “Oh, what have I done?”

  “He needed to know. And better this way than someone accidentally letting it slip. I’m sure he’ll be fine.” Maybe this would distract them both from their mutual attraction.

  Audrey ushered her inside.

  “Where’s his room?”

  “Second one on the left.”

  Lexie strode down the hall, rapped her knuckles on the closed door. “Rise and shine, lazybones.”

  “I’m tired.”

  “No rest for the weary,” she told him.

  “I thought you said I needed rest.”

  “You’ve had it. Now time’s a-wasting. Do you want out of that chair? Or not?”

  Movement sounded inside.

  “Do you need help?”

  “No. I’ve got it.”

  “Great. See you in the therapy room. Chop-chop.” She clapped her hands, then shot Audrey a grin as she stepped back into the kitchen. “Sometimes I have to be firm. But he wants out of his chair, so that’s a good sign.”

  “I hope so,” Audrey murmured, setting a plate of eggs, sausage and biscuits on the table. “I warmed his plate in the microwave. I think while you’re working with him today—” she lowered her voice “—I’ll slip out and see Ted.”

  “Good idea. I’m sure he’ll make you feel better.”

  “I feel like a teenager sneaking around behind my parents’ back,” Audrey admitted.

  “Hopefully, it won’t be long before things can get back to normal.”

  The bedroom door opened and Clint rolled into the kitchen. “Let’s go, Sarge.”

  “I’m going to run errands. Lexie won’t let you get to work until you eat.” Audrey kissed him on the temple. “Eat your breakfast at the table.”

  “Thanks, Mom.”

 
“Are you hungry, Lexie?”

  “No, Mama made me eat before I left.”

  “I figured Stella wouldn’t let you leave with an empty stomach. I’ll be back in time to cook lunch.” Audrey scrutinized Clint.

  “Don’t worry, Mom. I’m okay.”

  Audrey blew out a big breath, squeezed his shoulder and hurried out.

  Clint scanned her pink scrubs, dotted with burgundy roses. “You’re looking rosy today.”

  “So are you okay, really?” she pressed.

  “In my mind, my dad died six months ago and my mom is engaged to a guy she met six months ago.”

  “But you know that’s not the case?”

  “Yes,” he answered quietly. “But knowing it and experiencing it are two different things. So this Ted guy, have you met him?”

  “At the hospital when you were in the ER.”

  “He was there?”

  “He was very worried about you. And your mom.” She pushed his plate closer to him. “Eat up before it gets cold.”

  The next several minutes were filled with Clint’s fork scraping on his plate, hitting his cheek with each bite he took before sliding it into his mouth.

  “Do you have to watch every jerky movement I make?”

  “Watching your movements helps me determine how to help you,” she informed him. “Even though you’re still hitting your cheek, I think you’re closer than yesterday and you haven’t raked any food off your plate.”

  “I guess that’s something to be thankful for.” He managed to swipe at his cheek and mouth with a napkin. “So you’ve seen him with my mom?”

  “He’s crazy about her. At the hospital, he was very comforting and encouraging. She was on an emotional roller coaster, until he arrived. He steadied her, gave her strength.”

  “He just seems too perfect. Loaded, no kids.”

  “Maybe God figured your mom had struggled enough financially since she lost your dad and she didn’t need any more kids to keep her up at night since she already has you,” she murmured.

  His gaze narrowed.

  “Just saying.” She grinned.

  “So you really think he’s good for her?”

  “I do. And for you. He paid the rental tab for all of your rehab equipment and he’s paying my salary.”

  He let out a long whistle. “I thought it was insurance money.”

  “That only takes care of your hospital bill and rehab if you’d stayed there. But your mom wanted you home and Ted made it happen.”

  A muscle ticked in his jaw. “So he’s either trying to buy her affection or he wants her to be happy.”

  “From what I’ve seen, he doesn’t need to buy her love.” God, please give me the words. “I know it’s hard to think of your mom with someone else. I loved Levi. But he’s been gone for a lot longer than you remember. Ted’s a great guy and they love each other.”

  He swallowed hard. “Why did we never meet when you were working with Dad?”

  “I worked with him during the day.”

  “While I worked the ranch and only came at night.”

  Remembering her favorite patient always made her smile. “He talked about you a lot. About all of your family while we played chess, his favorite game, and he always beat me.” She’d had to learn the game in order to be able to play with him at all.

  “He always beat me, too. Until near the end,” he said gruffly, his eyes glossing over. “But even then, he still wanted to play.”

  Memories played through her mind. “He was very proud of you moving back home when he got sick. For stepping up and helping with the ranch. And he was impressed that you had the idea of taking it to new places with beefalo.”

  “He loved hearing all the ranch news, seeing pictures of the stock I’d bought and sold. Going over the numbers for profit and loss.”

  “It kept him feeling involved,” she confided. “I think it kept his mind sharp for longer than it would have been, too.”

  “Really?”

  “Definitely, along with the chess games. It’s not a game for sissies.”

  He met her gaze. “You said you loved him.”

  “He was my favorite patient.”

  Clint’s voice was thick. “He was a great dad.”

  “And you were a great son to him.”

  He blinked, swiping his napkin across his eyes with pretty good aim. “Let’s go put Ted’s equipment to good use. I want out of this chair. Especially if I’m supposed to walk my mom down the aisle anytime soon.”

  “Challenge accepted.” She stood, dumped his last bite of egg in the trash and stuck the plate in the dishwasher.

  Had they just bonded? Not good. Not good at all.

  She had to get this under control if she was going to be spending all day, every day with Clint. No bonding, no getting personally involved with him, and definitely no falling for the bunged-up cowboy.

  * * *

  Yesterday, after the Ted reveal, Clint had been unable to focus on therapy. Despite having his own personal drill sergeant. Thankfully, today was going better. He swayed from side to side on the balance ball, then managed to steady himself.

  “Very good.” Lexie pointed a finger at him. “But no letting go of the bar just yet.”

  “I’m not.”

  “But you were thinking about it.”

  Clint shrugged. “Guilty as charged.”

  “How about the parallel bars now?”

  “Really?” he asked.

  “Yes, it’s about time. Want to use your chair or the walker to get there?”

  “Neither.” The walker made him feel as old and useful as the chair did. “And the chair isn’t mine.”

  “Feeling confident today, are we?” She smirked. “Okay, use the ladder bar to pull up with. Just don’t let go and fall on me.”

  “Watch this.” Though she was around five-seven and athletic, he had a good six inches on her and probably outweighed her by sixty to eighty pounds at least. He pulled himself up. Not pretty or graceful by any means. But he’d done it on his own thanks to hoisting hay bales since his teenage years.

  “Very good.” She offered him her elbow.

  He slid his hand into the crook of her arm, caught a whiff of coconut. Long, dark waves brushed his bicep as she walked him toward the parallel bars. Beautiful, tough, but caring. It was a wonder all her patients didn’t fall for her. Especially in her cute yellow scrubs speckled with watermelon slices.

  But he couldn’t go there. Not with half a brain. Who knew if his memory would improve or worsen. Besides, to her, he was just a patient. An injured bull rider with big clumsy feet that slapped the floor with each step as if they were asleep.

  “Here we are.” She positioned him in front of the bars.

  He gripped the right bar awkwardly, adjusted his weight, let go of her arm and reached for the left. Then careened toward it.

  “Whoa,” she said, grabbing his arm to steady him. “Take a step and lean your hip into it for support.”

  His face warmed as he stepped closer, followed her instructions, and she guided his hand to the bar. The steel cooled his heated palms.

  “Now you got it.”

  Despite her encouragement, he didn’t feel like he had anything. Or ever would again.

  She strode to the other end of the bars, then stepped inside, a few feet away from him. “I’m right here if you have any trouble. Now use the left side for support while you step forward with your right.”

  “You make it sound so easy.”

  “It’ll get easy again. You’re ahead of the game since you’re all lean muscle.” Her cheeks tinged pink.

  She’d noticed his muscles.

  “I mean muscle recovers faster than fat.”

  Feeling confident under her praise, he took a step forward. Then swayed.

 
; “Not so fast.” She grabbed his arm. “Slow down, Clint. Take your time. There’s no marathon tomorrow. Baby steps, remember?”

  And just like that, he was feeble. One bull ride had rendered him awkward and useless. For what?

  “I just wish I could remember why I went back to the rodeo. I mean, this time?” The time he didn’t remember. “Why did I want to buy a ranch in Fort Worth? It doesn’t make any sense.” He took another step. “Why would I want a ranch close to five hours away?”

  “I don’t know.” She frowned. “I don’t mean to get personal...” Her cheeks flushed. “But are you seeing anyone? Maybe from that area?”

  Seeing someone? Could there be a woman he’d forgotten? “Wouldn’t my family know if I was?”

  “Maybe. But some people are private about that kind of thing. Until they know it’s going to work or turn into something permanent.”

  “If there was someone in my life, wouldn’t I have heard from her by now?” he asked, taking another step.

  “Not if she doesn’t know you’re hurt. Or she’s on a business trip or something.”

  “I don’t think so.” Surely he couldn’t have forgotten a special woman in his life. “But I think I need to search my room. See if I can find any phone numbers, pictures.” Of a woman. “Maybe the Fort Worth ranch owner’s name and number. Perhaps I told him why I wanted to buy the ranch.”

  “Well, while you were pondering, you made it all the way through the bars. Without stumbling.”

  Despite himself, a spark of satisfaction spread through him. He hadn’t even realized he was at the end. Lexie had backed out of the tunnel as he’d progressed, still two feet away from him. “Wow. Maybe you need to keep me distracted during therapy more often.”

  She smiled brightly. “I think we can stop for the day and you can go search for clues in your room.” Lexie offered her arm. “Back to the chair.”

  He winced, dreading the chair, and touching her made him think about things he had no right to consider. Especially if there was a woman in his life. “Can I try the walker?”

  “Sure. Just stay here and I’ll get it.” She hurried toward it.

  Oh for the days when he could walk wherever he wanted without even thinking about it. Would he ever get back to what he was? At the moment, he couldn’t even remember if he had a girlfriend or not.