The Cowboy's Missing Memory

by Shannon Taylor Vannatter

  “That’s Brant McConnell. I love his music.”

  “Me, too. Him and Garrett Steele take turns here every weekend.”

  “Wow.” He raised his eyebrows. “No wonder the rodeo is doing well.”

  They scanned the crowd for a glimpse of Carly and the kids. A man stopped in front of Clint, blocking his view. He greeted Clint as if he knew him, but Clint had no clue who he was and Lexie didn’t know, either, so she couldn’t help.

  Movement out of the corner of his eye caught his attention. Cooper was waving from the first-level seating.

  “There they are.” He pointed to the other side of the arena.

  They circled around and Clint settled beside Cooper while Lexie took a seat by Carly.

  “You came, Uncle Clint!”

  “I sure did. I guess we’re all sitting where the old people do tonight, huh?” He shot his nephew a wink.

  “Come sit by me, Lexie.” Cooper scooted closer to Clint, making room for her between him and Carly.

  “Okay.” Lexie played musical chairs to satisfy his nephew.

  Once she was by Cooper, the child promptly climbed into Clint’s lap.

  “You’re too big to sit in your uncle’s lap.” Carly leaned around Lexie, giving Cooper the look.

  “But I miss Uncle Clint,” Cooper whined.

  “He’s not too big. I’m fine.” And Clint knew Cooper meant he missed the old version of Uncle Clint. The one who remembered everything, like Cooper being seven now. His gaze went misty.

  “Scoot closer to Lexie, Uncle Clint, I want to sit by her, too.”

  He obliged his nephew, since he wanted to sit by her, too.

  Charlee squirmed in Carly’s lap, reaching for Lexie. “I sit on Lexie.”

  “I don’t mind at all,” Lexie murmured, patting her lap.

  “You sure?”

  “I love kids.”

  Carly let go and Charlee scrambled over into Lexie’s lap.

  And he caught a glimpse of a possible future. With Lexie. And two kids. Or more...

  “The Star-Spangled Banner” started up and they stood until her dad said an opening prayer.

  For the rest of the evening, people passed by, told him how glad they were to see him. He knew none of them. Lexie or Carly covered and explained who each person was once they left.

  “Apparently, I met a lot of new people in the last two years. And you know everyone even though you didn’t live here.”

  “I’ve made lots of holiday visits and each time went to church with my parents. Most of the people you’ve seen tonight are from church.”

  “I guess our church has gotten lots of new members in the last two years,” he remarked.

  “It seems like it has grown during that time.”

  The music changed to a booming rock instrumental as the first bull rider blasted into the arena, careening atop a cream-colored Brahman. He made the buzzer and leaped to safety while the bull went after the bullfighter.

  Lexie grabbed his arm and he looked over at her. Her eyes were squeezed almost completely closed. Once the bull lurched through the gate and the chute boss shut it behind him, she took a breath, relaxed.

  “You okay?”

  “Sorry.” She let go of him, clasping her hands in her lap. “You know how I told you I’m afraid of cows? I’m terrified of bulls.”

  “But you grew up at the rodeo.”

  “And saw lots of bull wrecks. This event always makes me nervous.”

  Clint nodded in understanding. “I guess it makes sense to be afraid of bulls if you’re afraid of cows. Feel free to hold on to me whenever you need to.”

  She gave him a shaky smile that made him want to shield her from anything life threw at her. But he currently couldn’t shield a gnat from a fly. Lexie did not need him. She needed a real man to take care of her.

  This next week would be their last week of therapy. Then she’d be gone from his life. Best to not get too attached. But that was a lot easier said than done.

  Chapter Thirteen

  It was a wonder Lexie hadn’t dreamed about bulls last night. Yet here she was again at the Saturday night rodeo.

  Coming seemed to energize Clint and part of her job was helping patients get back to their normal lives. For Clint, normal included the rodeo. Tonight they’d seen a few more people—long-term acquaintances—he knew, but getting out of the house and interacting with others seemed to help his outlook.

  Still, if this kept up, she needed to get someone in his family to accompany him. Anyone other than her. Carly and the kids couldn’t come tonight, so it was just her and Clint with no one to sit between them.

  They found seats, then stood when the opening ceremony began. Once the prayer was over, they settled in their stationary chairs.

  “Clint, is that you?” A pretty blonde hurried toward them.

  “Katie?” Clint’s jaw dropped.

  Who’s Katie? The woman was tiny, maybe five-two. If Lexie were standing, she’d feel like the Jolly Green Giant next to her.

  “Are you all right? I heard you got hurt.” Katie never took her eyes off him, as she gestured to the walker.

  “I’m fine.” He stood and the blonde looked even tinier.

  “I’m so glad. I was really worried.” Her arms went around his waist as she pressed her cheek into his chest.

  Something in Lexie’s stomach burned. She could so not be jealous.

  Clint wrapped his arms around the blonde, engulfing her small shoulders.

  “Why the walker if you’re fine?”

  “I had some balance issues at first. But I’m better now. At this point, it’s just a precaution when I go out.”

  Katie blew out a big breath, obviously relieved, then pulled away from him. Her pale green eyes landed on Lexie.

  “This is Lexie, my—girlfriend.”

  Huh?

  Katie forced a pouty smile. “It’s nice to meet you. I hope you’re taking good care of him.”

  “I am,” Lexie managed.

  “Well, if Clint was still mine, he wouldn’t need a walker, because he’d have me to lean on.”

  “Trust me, I lean on Lexie plenty.” He settled beside her, draping his arm around her shoulders.

  Her heartbeat went into overtime. If blondie ever left, she’d kill Clint for this.

  “Well, I better get back to my seat. Zander will be riding soon.” She did a flirty finger wave, then sashayed away.

  “Remove your arm before I put you in a headlock,” Lexie growled between clenched teeth.

  “I can’t. I’m so sorry about that.”

  She glared up at him. “If you’re sorry, why can’t you move your arm?” His ruse pulled every nerve taut since she wouldn’t mind being his girlfriend, but she didn’t want him using her to make blondie jealous.

  “Because she’ll be watching us.”

  “Well you should have thought of that before you lied about me being your girlfriend.” She could almost feel the steam coming out of her ears.

  “We dated for six months. Before Dad got sick. Once we got his diagnosis and knew his time was limited, I moved back home to help Mom take care of him and the ranch. Katie dumped me and moved on to my ex-best friend, Zander.”

  “Ouch.”

  “Yeah. But I’m glad I found out her true colors before things had time to get serious.” He winced, a contrite expression on his face. “I shouldn’t have lied about who you are. Chalk it up to pride. I want her and Zander to know I don’t need either of them. And admitting to Katie that I have a therapist babysitter would have made me feel really weak. Not to mention hopeless.”

  This illness was hard on him. Like his father, he’d always been self-sufficient and strong.

  “Okay.” She leaned into him. “I’ll play along. Just for tonight. But we can’t sit here
like this all night. Number one, it’s uncomfortable. Number two, she was probably watching before we ever saw her. If we lay it on too thick, she’ll figure us out.”

  “Good point.” He moved his arm. “How about we hold hands?”

  “That works.”

  He threaded his fingers through hers, settling their clasped hands comfortably between them. “Can you look over at me adoringly every once in a while?”

  “No.” The problem was, she could. And mean it.

  * * *

  At the close of the church service the next day, Lexie and her parents filed out of their pew. Followed by Larae, her husband and daughter, their mutual friend Stacia, along with her dad and twin niece and nephew.

  All the children in her friends’ lives made her feel like she was missing out. She’d been so focused on her career and whittling down her student loans for so long, and now it seemed like most people her age had kids.

  Clint had insisted on coming, but his family sat on the other side of the church, and were a few pews back, so at least she hadn’t had to avoid looking at him all morning. But now, there he was, vying for her attention.

  “So you and your patient looked pretty cozy at the rodeo last night,” Larae whispered.

  “It’s not what you think.” She explained about Katie.

  “Well it looked natural and very real. Y’all would make a great couple. And when I came in this morning, he couldn’t take his eyes off you.”

  “I’m sure he was just looking at the stage, waiting for the service to start.”

  “If you say so, but what do you think he’s looking at right now?”

  As if of its own volition, her gaze strayed his way. Caught his.

  She waved. He waved back. Then she quickly looked away.

  “Well, aren’t y’all just the perfect couple,” Stacia murmured.

  “We’re not.”

  “Whatever you say.”

  “What are you girls whispering about?” Mama raised an eyebrow.

  “Lexie and Clint are dating,” Stacia announced, jabbing her in the shoulder. “But she’s playing coy.”

  “We are not.” Lexie’s face heated. “He’s my patient.”

  “Well, if you’re not dating, what were you doing all cuddled up with him at the rodeo last night?” Larae asked, crossing her arms with an inquisitive gleam in her eye.

  “We weren’t. He had his arm around me for two minutes. But only because—”

  “And then you two held hands for the rest of the time,” Stacia said.

  “You were there?”

  “Dad and I took the twins last night. We were sitting right across the arena from you. One minute, I looked over there and Clint was hugging some woman. The next time I looked he was all about you.”

  Who else had been there? There was no telling who all had that vantage point last night. What had she been thinking?

  “That was his ex-girlfriend. She did a number on him.” Lexie gave a play-by-play of how she’d agreed to be part of Clint’s deception. “I don’t know why I went along with it.”

  “Well, you helped him out,” Mama said, with a wink. “But once his therapy is over, I certainly wouldn’t mind you dating him.”

  “You, too?” Lexie groaned, closing her eyes.

  “He’s a good Christian man. Hard to come by in this day and age.”

  “He’s. My. Patient. I don’t know what I was thinking. If anyone in the medical profession, who knows me, happened to be there last night, they might deem me unethical. I could lose my job.”

  “Calm down, sweetheart.” Mama pushed Lexie’s hair back over her shoulder. “Even if your new boss was there, he wouldn’t know that Clint is your patient. You’re currently a free agent.”

  “They’d know. His walker was sitting right there for everybody to see.”

  “Not necessarily,” Stacia said, biting the inside of her lip. “He could be your boyfriend who just had surgery.”

  “Ugh. I can never show my face at your rodeo again, Larae. Or maybe even at church. Or anywhere.”

  “You’re being a bit dramatic, I think.” Her best friend chuckled. “And besides, don’t look now, but your patient is staring again.”

  Lexie chanced a glance at Clint and he headed in her direction. As her mom and friends promptly abandoned her.

  “So this is my last week of therapy.” He pocketed his hands. “It doesn’t seem like it’s been three weeks already.”

  “And Thursday’s the big day when Joel gets home.” She edged toward the lobby, hoping to escape him soon. Sunday was supposed to be her day off from resisting him. “I need to see if Carly and your mom need help getting ready for his welcome-home party.”

  “I don’t think there’ll be much prep. We’re having a bonfire, roasting hot dogs and s’mores. Apparently, that was his request.”

  “The kids will love it. Who doesn’t love a bonfire?”

  “You’re coming, right?”

  “Oh, no.” She shook her head. “I’ll cut out once we finish your therapy that day. I wouldn’t want to intrude.”

  “You won’t be. Carly’s told Joel all about you and Mom thinks you’re part of the family. She’ll be disappointed if you don’t stay.”

  She smiled at him. “I guess if you put it like that, I’ll come.”

  “Once this week is over, we’ll still see each other here at church. I hope you’ll stay in touch with Mom.”

  “Of course.” She’d be at the wedding for certain. Just one more week of working with him. Then get through the wedding. And move on.

  Absolutely no pining over the cowboy.

  * * *

  Late on Monday afternoon, the doctor scanned, poked and prodded until Clint felt like a science project. At least Dr. Arnett came to the Bandera clinic once a week, only fifteen minutes from Medina, allowing Clint to get almost a full day of therapy in before his appointment.

  “Your physical improvement is remarkable.”

  Pride radiated through him. “I have a great therapist.”

  “That you do. We miss Lexie at the hospital.”

  After this week, he’d miss her more.

  “What about your memories?”

  “A few insignificant details. One significant.”

  “Good. Good.” The doctor stared at the computer screen. “Once we get your tests back, depending on what I see, I’ll determine whether to release you to normal activities. In the meantime, no driving still. I trust you have a driver once Lexie starts her new job here next week.”

  “My soon-to-be stepdad. He’s in the waiting room.”

  “That’s good.”

  “Do you think my memory will ever fully return?” he asked.

  “I honestly don’t know. But if it doesn’t, get out there and make new memories.” Dr. Arnett shook his hand. “You’ll hear from me in a few days.”

  “Thanks, Doc.” Clint stood, walking out of the exam room on his own. With no bobbles or staggers. Something he couldn’t have done three weeks ago. So with the bulk of his physical abilities reclaimed, why was he still so miserable?

  He’d been kind of disappointed today, when Lexie had agreed to let Ted drive him to his appointment. Who was he kidding? “Kind of” didn’t begin to describe it.

  After this week, he’d miss Lexie’s encouragement, understanding ear and quiet strength. If his results came back okay, maybe he’d tell her that. Maybe he’d have a chance with her.

  But it was a big if. The bulk of his memory was still blank concerning anything that had happened between his two bull wrecks. As long as he couldn’t remember those past two years, he’d be unconvinced he could make a full recovery.

  “All good?” Ted stood when he saw him.

  “All good. But I still can’t drive. He wants to see my test results first.”

 
“When’s that?”

  “A few days.”

  They made their way to the elevator.

  “I’ll be your chauffeur.” Ted took off his cowboy hat and did a little bow.

  Clint chuckled. One of the richest men in Texas just bowed to him.

  They made it on the elevator, to the first floor and outside. He felt odd without his walker, though he was doing fine. Just slow.

  Once in Ted’s truck, Clint went over the tests and scans. “I guess he’ll compare them to what he ran right after my injury to see if there’s improvement.”

  “You’re gonna be fine. I can tell you’re sharp as a tack. Just like before.”

  He blew out a breath. “I hope so.”

  “Your mama said you’re looking for a place to rent.”

  “I haven’t found anything yet. But don’t worry, I’ll move in with Carly if I have to.”

  “You don’t have to go anywhere,” Ted told him. “The ranch is your home. You’ve single-handedly kept it alive and turned it around into a profitable business.”

  “You and Mom shouldn’t start your marriage with a tenant. I’ll find something.”

  “I need you to talk your mama into moving to my place until we build a house, so you can stay at the ranch. There’s no reason in you trying to find something to rent, when the ranch by all rights should be yours.”

  “You’re renting your place right now. Right?”

  Ted nodded.

  “Well, what if you and Mom live at the ranch and I rent your place?”

  “That could work. Then once we build a house, I’ll deed the ranch to you and pay Carly like we talked about.”

  “We’ll see. I’d rather buy the ranch.”

  “Stubborn like your mama. There’s no way I’m taking a penny from you for something that’s not mine.” Ted turned toward home. “We’ll see all right.”

  It was nice to know Mom would be okay. That Ted would take care of her. That he had Clint’s back. And Carly’s.

  If only he could have Lexie.

  Lord, thank You for helping me get better. Let the tests come back good. Let my memory return. Help me to move forward and not feel like I’m in limbo.