The Right Side of Reckless

by Whitney D. Grandison

  Yesenia came out of her room, her face lighting up at the sight of Smokey. I loved seeing her happy. To have finally gotten something she’d wanted for so long. “Smokey Midnight!” she cooed his first and middle name. Smokey Midnight Lozano.

  Briefly, I wondered if Regan had given Simba a middle name.

  Yeah, I had to get a move on.

  I told my sister goodbye and quickly fled the house and jumped in my Charger.

  On some mornings, Jenaya would let me take her to school. One thing about Naya, she was proud to the point of fighting you about letting her do for herself. In short, she’d rather take the bus than let me come out of my way too often to get her.

  On some days I won the battle, and others I had to give in and let her have her way.

  Friday morning was a day the battle worked in my favor.

  “Want to stop for anything?” I offered as she climbed in alongside me.

  A part of our arrangement was that I wasn’t supposed to come to the front door of her grandmother’s house. I was to wait in the car and text her when I arrived.

  Jenaya had a few simple rules, and because I respected her privacy and space, I didn’t question her much. Anybody not living with their birth parents had to have it rough, especially when it was by their own choice.

  “I’m good,” she said, declining my offer as she always did.

  We arrived at school and I found a good spot in the student parking lot.

  I was low-key dreading the day ahead at school for one sole reason. Arlington High was a big football school; there was no buzz around the other sports the school offered, even if Raviv swore their soccer was the shit. No, student after student and teacher after teacher would go on and on about football. And the name on everyone’s tongue was Troy Jordan. Apparently, football was in his gene pool, because his younger brother was also a talented player making waves as well.

  Tonight would be the last game of the season, and everyone was a mixture of sad and excited.

  I was just anxious for everyone to shut up already.

  “You going to the big party tonight?” Jenaya asked as she took in a group of students crowding around a Jeep Wrangler sporting purple-and-light-green varsity jackets. Go Panthers!

  I wrinkled my nose. “I’m off at eight, I’ll think about it.”

  Jenaya shrugged. “I could get out. I might go.”

  “Text me if you need a ride.”

  “Yo! Con!”

  Shouting drew my attention to where Troy emerged from the crowd of athletes, coming my way.

  “Con?” Jenaya repeated.

  “I have no idea,” I responded. I stood back, waiting for him.

  Troy came closer, visibly sizing me up.

  Jenaya went on the defense, slowly stepping in front of me.

  The effort was cute, but I could handle myself.

  “What’s up, Troy?” I lifted my chin at him, going for nice.

  “What up, Con.” Troy came and slapped my palm before reeling me in for a hug and pat to my back. I reciprocated the motion, noticing at once how much strength he was using in his grip.

  This couldn’t be good.

  “Who’s Con?” I asked.

  Troy grinned, his eyes sweeping me over once more. “You are, convict.”

  I blinked and Jenaya stepped closer.

  This was one pissing contest I’d have to sit out. Judging by Troy’s demeanor, there was only so much patience I was going to have with him.

  Putting a safe space between us, I scratched at my jaw, trying to compose myself.

  “It’s Guillermo,” I told him.

  “Sure it is.”

  “Jenaya,” I said, keeping my eyes on Troy, “I’ll meet up with you in a second.”

  She made no move to abandon me. “You sure?”

  Behind Troy, I could just make out Raviv on the school lawn. He was tugging on Camila’s arm, and she was pulling back. They seemed to be fighting, their expressions mirroring conflict more than harmless fun.

  “Yeah, see if Rav’s going to the party, I may link up with him,” I said. Avery wouldn’t go if I asked, but I knew Raviv would. Besides, it looked like he could use the distraction.

  Jenaya begrudgingly left my side and walked over to Raviv. Camila stalked off, but Raviv cooled down enough to focus on Jenaya. We were an odd group, but Raviv and Jenaya got along just fine.

  I settled back on Troy, hoping things weren’t about to go left.

  He stood all suave and collected, but the arrogance oozing from his person caused me to stay on guard. “What’s up with you and that?”

  “That is Jenaya, my best friend,” I said.

  He didn’t seem convinced. “Word? She’s pretty bad, ain’t she?”

  Jenaya Omar was beautiful, curves for days, pretty face, and a mindset that kept you on your toes. But we were just friends. I respected the hell out of her, and after our short while of knowing each other, I valued our friendship too much to get caught up in the idea of becoming something more.

  “You wanted something, Troy?” I said, trying to get this confrontation over with.

  He let Jenaya go. “You’ve got good taste. I say that because I seen you eyeing my girl.”

  “It’s not like that, she’s all you.”

  He grinned, but it wasn’t friendly. “See, now you’re being disrespectful. I know she’s all me.”

  “Is this a warning?” Because it sure as hell couldn’t be a fight.

  “Nah, you smart, you know better,” he said. “I mean, I’ve been thinkin’, you one of Mrs. London’s kids, so I doubt you’d be stupid enough to cross that line. Although, showing up after our date was one thing, but now a dog?” He cupped his chin, appearing thoughtful. “Shit makin’ me uncomfortable, Mo.”

  The dots were lining up to connect a not-so pretty picture if Mrs. London found out how close Regan and I had gotten before I pulled away. “It’s nothing.”

  “Of course not,” Troy responded. “But let’s talk. See, I’ve got this friend who recently became available because her dude was acting funny. I think it’s time she meets a real one.”

  “And that’s where I come in?” We weren’t even friends. I couldn’t grasp why he’d come to me of all people.

  Troy shrugged. “Possibly. She’s a senior. Her name’s Sofia Rios, she’s gorgeous, you should check her out.”

  “Maybe I will.”

  He rubbed his palms together as he came closer and nodded off into the distance. “She’s right over there. See her?”

  I spotted the Latina amid a crowd of blondes and a single redhead. “Uh-huh.”

  “She cute, right?”

  Even with the distance, I could see that Sofia was indeed pretty. “Yep.”

  “I’ma let you take that. Go talk to her, ask her out, she cool.”

  The nerve of this guy. “Wow, didn’t know she was your property to give away.”

  Troy chuckled. “Nah, it ain’t like that. But what is like that, is Regan, that’s all me, so why don’t you take this one.” He boldly reached out and patted my chest. “She’s all you, playboy.”

  “How considerate of you,” I decided to say.

  “Yeah, well, her ex played her, and Rey’s always talking about how nice you are. The next time you feel like getting a dog, get one for Sofia.”

  Regan was standing among the group of athletes hanging out by the Jeep Wrangler, bundled up in a hoodie as she talked with Malika. She glanced my way, her eyes widening, her posture freezing as she took in her boyfriend and me standing together.

  Troy cut into my line of vision, picking up on where my attention had moved, catching Regan looking back to Malika. “You got a problem with my girl, man?” He kept advancing toward me, making me question if hitting him would land me in juvie.

  Probably.

>   I took a deep breath, trying to find my sanity. “No.”

  “See, I don’t want to tell Mrs. L about how uncomfortable you makin’ me about my girl and you.”

  Shit. “Like I said, it’s nothing.”

  “You want clarification?” He was taunting me, daring me to try him.

  The old me wouldn’t have backed down, but the new me, unfortunately would have to. “I don’t want any static, Troy.”

  The little smirk on his face, as if he’d won, ate at me.

  Vete a la verga.

  Things were supposed to be easier here, and because I didn’t want to repeat history, I conceded and backed down.

  “I’ll think about Sofia,” I told Troy. “Good looking out.” To push it a step further, I reached out and patted his shoulder, using more effort than necessary as I met his angry eyes. Yeah, two can play at this game, asshole.

  I went around Troy and headed over to Jenaya, who was waiting for me on the lawn where Raviv had been.

  “What was that?” she asked as the first bell rang.

  “Troy wanted to let me know a friend of his is single now,” I told her as we made our way inside the building.

  She made a face. “Why is he telling you of all people? Since when are you guys cool like that?”

  “We’re not.” I deadpanned. “I may have gotten Regan a new dog, and he was there when Yesi and I dropped him off.”

  Jenaya blinked, raising her hand and looking at me sideways. “Are you dumb?”

  “I’m starting to think so.”

  She shook her head. “Mo.”

  I knew she was trying to be helpful, but no one knew the odds against me more than I did. “This girl is linked to the one person who can tell my PO if I’m fucking up or not, trust me, I’m on my toes with her. I just felt bad about her losing her dog.”

  “Hate to sound inconsiderate, but people lose their dogs every day. You have to move smarter.”

  It wasn’t that simple, at least, it didn’t feel that simple. Jenaya didn’t know what it was like seeing Regan smile, seeing her face light up, those dimples in her cheeks, the glow in her eyes—and she didn’t know the disappointment in seeing Regan frown. Of seeing her defeated. I couldn’t control how it made me feel. It was upsetting.

  I hadn’t told anyone about that night at the center where I almost messed up.

  For almost a month I’d tried to distract myself from Regan London, but hell if it wasn’t hard. For starters, we were chemistry partners, neighbors, and coworkers. She was everywhere, and so was that smile.

  I was good, though, at keeping my hands to myself and not lingering too long around her.

  She wasn’t the old Guillermo’s type. Good girls who colored in the lines had always been off my radar. But looking at her and talking to her, I just knew she was real. Like, no games or bullshit. Something told me that, if I texted her, she wouldn’t wait five minutes to an hour to respond back, she was either all in or she wasn’t.

  Jenaya shrugged. “She cute.” Talk about an understatement. “And kinda bougie.”

  I sighed. “Jenaya.”

  She wasn’t backing down. “I’m just saying.”

  “Yeah, well I thought bad and bougie was in.”

  She rolled her eyes. “Anyway, who did her boyfriend set you up with?”

  “Know a senior named Sofia Rios?”

  Jenaya bobbed her head. “Yeah, she’s in the all the honors classes with the preppy bunch, why?”

  “That’s Troy’s friend.”

  Jenaya narrowed her hazel eyes, shaking her head and releasing a whistle. “He set you up.”

  “How you figure?”

  “Y’all not even friends. He called you ‘Convict,’ trying to be slick. I mean, let’s face it, you organize your Jay-Z albums by most lyrical to decent, you scour hip-hop pages like the Bible, and you can’t deny you been peepin’ his girl. Troy doesn’t know a thing about you. He chose a super preppy girl for you all because you’re too close to his girl. This was a soft warning to tread lightly, Mo.”

  Passive-aggressive or not, I was on Troy’s radar. This could go only one way if I kept being friendly to Regan.

  Forward, not back.

  Shrugging my shoulders, I made up my mind. “Oh well, Naya.”

  “So you’re really going to do it, ask her out?”

  The way I saw it, I wasn’t looking for anything, and maybe Sofia wasn’t either. Perhaps what we both could use was a night out. A night of meaningless distractions.

  Surely there was no harm in that.

  Regan

  My mother’s words circled in my head all day as I sat in my classes.

  I couldn’t focus in any of them. I was a nervous wreck about the game and the party, and I was anxious over what my father would say when I brought up dropping accounting. But I was determined. For once it would be nice to do something I wanted to do, instead of being programmed for other people’s molding.

  Trouble was, I still had no clue what I wanted to do. I just knew I couldn’t pretend it was accounting anymore. It was too dull, not to mention numbers made my head hurt.

  “Earth to Regan.” Malika waved her hand in my face. “Um, hello, I asked which was cuter. This top or this one?”

  We were at the mall after school doing some last-minute shopping to get ready for the game and after-party.

  One top Malika was holding up almost resembled a tiny skirt. It was square, black with white lines forming cubes. The other choice was a white satiny long-sleeved shirt. She would look great in either.

  “The white,” I suggested.

  Malika examined the top and wrinkled her nose. “Nah, white is too good and wholesome, this is a Regan London number. I wanna look risqué. Calvin’s been on his best behavior.”

  Her words made me pause, but before I could call her out on it, a girl I recognized came over.

  “Hey!” Jasmine Cooley waved as she walked up to us. I saw that she, too, was going for fun with a suede halter top in her hands.

  “Y’all getting ready for the game?” she asked, looking from Malika to me.

  “More like the after-party,” Malika quipped.

  Jasmine chuckled and slapped Malika five. “Heard that. Regan, you should sit with Ebony and me. It’ll be fun.”

  “Can’t,” I told her. “My family’s sitting with Troy’s.”

  Jasmine seemed to understand. “Tommy’s parents wanted us to sit with them, too, but then I couldn’t act up like I want.”

  “You get all into it?” I asked.

  She waved me off and rolled her eyes. “Girl no, I just have fun when we score, especially Tommy and Troy.”

  I sighed. It would be a lot more fun to watch the game with the girls versus being under my parents’ thumb, playing my role.

  “I’ll be on the field cheering, but I’ll see you at the party, assuming that’s what Calvin wants to do,” Malika spoke up.

  “Definitely. I’ll be with Ebony, Smiley, and Tiana,” Jasmine said. “I’ll look out for you.” She gathered her top and waved to me before she took off toward the shoe section.

  I followed behind Malika as she put the white shirt back. I felt pathetic for secretly liking the shirt enough to buy it.

  “You and Calvin are seeing each other officially?” I wanted to know.

  Malika bit her lip, refusing to look at me as she sorted through a rack of skirts. “I mean, he’s my first, Rey. You never really get over your first.”

  Troy was nearly my first everything. I wondered if I’d become more attached if we went there.

  “You sure?” I asked gently. Above all else, I wanted her to be careful with this second chance she seemed intent on extending.

  “He apologized. We’re seeing where things are going. Don’t worry, Rey, we haven’t even hooked up again. I wanna be l
ike you and Troy. The next time should really mean something, you know?”

  She was being smarter and more on guard than before. Though I wished she hadn’t compared her and Calvin to me and Troy. We were still arguing over that topic.

  “Yeah, me and Troy,” I replied.

  “Don’t tell me you’re on the outs again.”

  I groaned. “We were talking the other day about, you know, and all I could think about was how I’m going to deal with accounting.”

  Malika cocked her head, looking confused. “Wait, he over there thinking about sex, and you thinking about accounting?” she asked, shock dripping from her tone.

  “I know, it’s bad. But I might want to drop accounting, and that’s more important than that right now.”

  “It gets you a lot of money.”

  “Yeah, but shouldn’t I be looking at jobs that I’ll like?”

  “Work a job you’ll like and be broke, or work a career that’ll put food on the table and keep the lights on, hmm, tough call.” Malika lifted and dropped each hand.

  Her sarcasm made me laugh and I reached out and shoved her. “Sometimes it’s like I’m making moves for everyone but me.”

  She took that in. “Well, what does Regan want?”

  Her question made me think of Guillermo. Guillermo. He had been the first to ask me that. He’d helped just a little by getting me Simba, but it was still up in the air what I wanted.

  I glanced outside the shop, across the traffic walking through the mall, and caught sight of the pet store. When we were kids, our parents would let Avery and me go inside and pet the puppies. Back then, Avery had always drifted to the reptiles, but I’d been obsessed with the furry pets. We’d be allowed in the shop for only so long before my mother would complain about the smell.

  Whether the smell was foul or not, taking care of animals seemed like the best job.

  I brought my attention back to Malika. “Right now, I’d just like to be free to explore my likes and dislikes. I know what’s at stake as far as my grades are concerned. I’ve got too much on my plate to screw up now, but I wish I had the chance to try something for me.”