A Christmas to Dismember

by Addison Moore

  “Me too.” I sigh with relief. “I guess it’s all working out the way Quinn wanted. As for those suspects, well, their minds were prattling away today. Warwick was an open book. The guy didn’t hold back his thoughts after the reading of the will. He was quite verbose when congratulating everyone. But Arthur seemed taken aback when he found out he was getting the Silver Collective in its entirety. He said that payday had come. And now he feels like a sack of trash for what transpired in the garden on that last night of Quinn’s life. And then there was Eve. Her mind was filled with warm fuzzies and heart emojis. She said she knew he loved her deeply and that it meant more to her than all the money in the world.”

  He nods. “Warwick and Eve haven’t given us anything to worry about—at least not according to their thoughts, but Arthur? He admitted to seeing Quinn in the garden that night—not to mention he admitted to having a heated exchange. He could have left and gotten the axe with which to kill Quinn. What about Angelica?”

  “She was angry,” I say. “Angelica said something to the effect that she wasn’t able to quit her day job at the Davenport. Then she clenched her fists and said, ‘How I wish I could go back in time and kill him all over again.’”

  Jasper inches back. “Kill him all over again? And she was in the garden that night speaking to him?”

  I nod. “Supposedly the last to speak to him.”

  Rudolph barks as he heads on over. That must have been the lady I heard. I remember her saying something about a stingy beetle hole.

  I quickly relay it to Jasper, and my mouth twitches to the side. I think we both know she may have used another word outside of beetle.

  Jasper scoops up Rudolph as he tries to jump onto the couch and I pull him onto my lap.

  “What else do you remember, Rudolph?” I ask, playing with his silky soft ears. “Did you hear Quinn say anything back to her? Did he call for help or for her to stop?”

  Rudolph gives another sharp bark. I do remember something! She said, ‘Next time I’ll triple your dose,’ and she walked away.

  I translate for Jasper. “Maybe she walked away to get the axe?”

  He nods. “Maybe she did. I bet she’s reeling with anger tonight.” He tightens his arms around me, and Rudolph jumps to the floor once again and is back to chasing Sherlock. “How about we ditch work for the rest of the afternoon? I’ll order in an early dinner to celebrate the inn, and we can decorate the tree and look up every bit of cyber information on the suspects at hand. I think if we put our heads together we can crack this case wide open.”

  “I thought you’d never ask.”

  Fish mewls, Now that I’ve got an inn to run, I need to make sure my guests are safe, and that starts with catching whoever thought it was a good idea to commit a homicide right here on the grounds. I’m investigating with you.

  Sherlock barks. I’ll watch Rudolph. Bizzy, can you leave that animal channel on TV again? It really calms the little guy down.

  “You bet,” I say, as I do just that. Jasper orders some Chinese food for us, and we get straight to the serious business of decorating that tree. A little mistletoe leads to a little kissing, and soon we’re decorating each other with affection.

  Suffice it to say, we choose to celebrate the right way.

  Chapter 15

  The Cider Cove Christmas Spectacular has drawn in more residents and tourists alike than Cider Cove knows what to do with.

  I’d bet good money all of Maine has drained into our cozy little town, with the exception of my handsome plus one. Jasper is still at the station, but as soon as he gets done, he’s hightailing it this way. And I can’t wait to take a sleigh ride with him. Kissing Jasper while gliding through the snow on a sleigh is exactly how I want this night to end. Hopefully, we’ll have a little justice to go with it on the side.

  It’s a little after six in the evening, and the festivities are just getting underway. The overgrown tree at the end of Main Street is gleaming with thousands of twinkle lights and oversized ruby red ornaments strapped to its boughs. Garland and more twinkle lights are strung all up and down Main Street. There are cheerful wreaths with bright red bows dotted here and there while carolers stroll up and down the street belting out those cheery tunes we can’t get enough of this time of year.

  A couple of refreshment tables are set out laden with hot cocoa, an assortment of cookies, and peppermint bark. We have Santa and his elves, along with a mile long line of kids all waiting for a turn on the big guy’s lap, but the star of the show is the snow. A fresh dusting fell over our world last night, which makes for the perfect backdrop for this Christmas Spectacular.

  I’ve got Fish with me in the baby sling that she loves to nestle in whenever she’s in it, and I’m glad about it, because on a night like tonight, I can use all the warmth this little inferno is willing to give me. Both Sherlock and Rudolph are with me as well, and I’ve spent the better part of an hour trying to detangle myself from the literal binds that Rudolph has caused with his enthusiasm to walk on the white stuff. It’s safe to say we’ve still got some work to do with leash training.

  The shops are brimming with customers—some more than others, and I can’t help but hold Fish a little bit tighter as I see Macy storm out of Lather and Light with a look of fury.

  “Bizzy Baker”—she snips as she pulls her coat tightly—“was that quilt chop shop your big idea?”

  “No to both. I’m Bizzy Baker Wilder. And I don’t think they’re actually making quilts in there, so the phrase chop shop doesn’t quite work either. But good effort on your part.”

  “Do you know what else is a good effort on my part? Running my business. Do you know what’s not a good effort on my part? Sales. Those two old broads have stolen all of my customers. And don’t for a second buy that dumb luck spiel they’ve been trying to feed me all week. This is a strategic takedown of my finances, one sale at a time.” She storms in the direction of their business, and I follow along as we narrowly miss getting run over by one of the many sleighs that has been giving people a holiday thrill as they ride up and down the street. But just as Macy sails through the bright red doors, a familiar scowl is shed my way by none other than the woman of the hour.

  “Mayor Woods.” I offer a nod her way. “You really know how to throw a party. Everything is amazing.”

  She waves the idea off. “Never mind this ice spectacle. I have a proposal to tend to tomorrow night. I just picked up a titanium band at the jewelers and gave your mother back his class ring. So what have you come up with?”

  “A bar brawl?” I tease. Although it is a play on Juni’s fight night idea.

  “A bar brawl?” She gives a lone blink. “Wait a minute…”

  “No,” I say emphatically. “No brawls. I’m hosting dinner at the inn.”

  Her lips crimp. “Your shiny new inn. I’d be a smidge envious, but then I’m getting a shiny new husband. The only boy I’ve ever wanted will finally be mine.”

  “The only boy you ever wanted?” My heart sinks. “I didn’t know that, Mack. You never said anything all those years we were close.”

  “And have you or Emmie hold it over me? Please. I knew better than that.” She gives a quick glance around at the festivities. “So what else do you got? I need to get going. This night isn’t going to run itself. I have to mingle.” She pulls her navy wool coat tightly and snarls at Fish.

  “How about a walk in the snow under the moonlight? You could ask him by the water? The cove is beautiful this time of year with the moon dancing over it.”

  She makes a face. “Too soft. Too generic. Too similar to your own proposal.”

  “Jasper proposed in the gazebo.”

  “Next to the beach while the moon danced on the water.” She sticks her finger down her throat and pretends to gag. “I’ll go with option one.” Her lips stretch into something vaguely like a smile as she looks to the crowd. “Come hell or high water, tomorrow night—I’m going to be an engaged woman.” She stalks off before I can stop her
.

  “Wait, option one? The fight?” I ask, shaking my head down at the furry trio and the three of them whimper as if they were already terrified of the feisty exchange. Can’t blame them. I am, too.

  Inside of Two Old Broads, it’s brightly lit with white twinkle lights lining all the shelves and counters on one side, and a haphazard string of large colorful lights strewn in a crooked pattern on the other. The right side is neat and orderly, as opposed to the left side of the store, which has clothes and quilts mixed onto tables and a pile of what looks to be some of Georgie’s vases, trivets, and other mosaics on the floor.

  The right side has a chalkboard sign over it that reads in a pleasant script font Ree’s Priceless Picks! And the left side has a sign created out of sea glass embedded in grout that reads Georgie’s Junk. Get it while it’s hot!

  The cheery sound of “Jingle Bell Rock” blares over the speakers, and if I’m not mistaken, the scent of chocolate chip cookies fills the air. Women and men alike are snapping up wonky quilts, wonky jackets, and wonky dresses. Even the wonky quilt bedding for pets is flying off the shelves.

  We thread our way through the crowd until we hit the front registers where Mom, Georgie, and Juni are taking care of customers while wearing Santa hats with oversized elf ears attached to them. It’s a comical sight, and even Fish is braying out a laugh at the three of them.

  “Say cheese,” Macy sings their way as she quickly snaps a picture. “As your web designer, I’ll be sure to update your homepage and your bio pics.”

  Mom grunts as she looks to Georgie, “I told you she wasn’t through humiliating us.”

  Georgie gives my sister the stink eye. “Go ahead and do it, missy. And just you wait. We’ll be more popular than ever—with the men.”

  Macy gasps because, let’s face it, Georgie hit her where it hurts.

  Mom chuckles as she makes her way over to us. “Don’t worry, Macy. We’ll send our surplus of freaks from the North Pole your way.” She pulls me into a hug. “Congratulations, Bizzy. Georgie just told me the good news. I can’t believe you didn’t call me yesterday when you found out.”

  Georgie comes over, and it’s only then I note they’re both wearing frilly red and white aprons ala Mrs. Claus over a wonky quilt dress.

  Macy gags my way. “Are you knocked up already?”

  “What? No!”

  Sherlock barks. I heard Jasper say there would be lots of practice before he knocked you up.

  Rudolph gives a few yipes. What’s knocked up?

  Fish mewls, Does this have anything to do with Sherlock knocking his tail against your bedroom door at night, demanding to be let in?

  I shake my head her way.

  Mom laughs. “Bizzy! Have you swallowed the watermelon seed already?”

  “No,” I say it emphatically this time.

  Watermelon! Fish perks up. Can you grow those inside of you, Bizzy?

  Sherlock barks. Watermelon is almost as good as bacon. Just wait until you try it, kiddo. He nudges Rudolph with his nose.

  If it doesn’t taste like bacon, I don’t want it. Rudolph belts out an adorable woof while sniffing the wonky quilt Georgie has donned—no doubt looking for his favorite culinary treat. We’ve ruined him as far as kibble goes. Dinnertime has been pretty much a disaster as of late.

  “No watermelon here.” I look to Macy. “Quinn left me the inn.”

  Hux pops up behind my mother. “I heard the news, sis. Mackenzie told me. It’s all over town. Congrats, Biz. I officially volunteer as your legal counsel. You’ll be needing it.”

  “Thank you,” I say. “I especially like the volunteer part.”

  Hux lifts a finger. “Let’s not get carried away.”

  Macy steps forward. “Wait a minute. You’re saying that earl who was killed left that entire property to you? Just like that?”

  “Just like that.” I nod. “There’s a bit of paperwork to sift through, but it’s mine to do as I wish—and I wish to keep the guests coming. It’s all on me now if it sinks or floats.”

  Mom ticks her head. “It was sort of on you beforehand, too.”

  Fish yowls, And that’s the only reason it’s still floating today.

  I land a quick kiss to her forehead. She’s not wrong.

  Hux nods me over to the side, and we drift off as Georgie and Mom get back behind the registers. Macy snaps up a few chocolate chip cookies before joining us.

  “It’s all a go for tomorrow night.” He gives a solemn nod my way. “I have the ring, a surefire way to tick her off, and the exact words I want to say once I drop to one knee. I just need to know where to do the deed.”

  “Oh wow,” Macy says through a mouthful. “You’re looking to do the deed with the monster mayor, aren’t you?”

  “Yup.” He sheds a boyish grin. “You know what they say. Fourth time’s the charm.”

  Macy cocks her head. “They also say you were a fool then and you’re an older fool now.”

  “Mark Twain.” I shrug over at my brother.

  “Don’t quote Twain to me.” He frowns over at Macy. “Where’s the family meeting up for the big day?”

  “My place.” I bounce on my feet. “I figured what better way to celebrate Christmas than at my very own inn.” I bite down over a smile while I continue to bounce. I can’t help it. The fact Quinn actually left me the inn is finally beginning to set in, and I’m starting to get giddy—or slap happy, most likely an unhealthy combo of both.

  Macy scoffs. “I liked you better when I thought you were knocked up. Fine, I’ll be there.” She looks at Hux. “A fight and a proposal? There’s no way I’m missing the fireworks.” She starts to take off. “Stop over at my place, Bizzy. Maybe some of that ridiculous good luck of yours will rub off on me. You get a man with the ability to cuff you nightly, and an entire inn? I’m suing,” she shouts as she drifts in the crowd.

  “On what grounds?” I shout back.

  “Stealing my wildest dreams and making them your own.”

  Hux shrugs. “She could have a case. You never know, she could win.” He lifts his chin toward the crowd. “I’d better find something for Mackenzie. Any idea of what she might like?”

  I’d point out that he was the one about to get on bended knee, he should know her best, but decided against it. If they do get hitched, it’ll probably be a good thing that he doesn’t scratch too much beneath the surface.

  “Those wonky quilt dresses are a pretty hot commodity.”

  Fish meows as she playfully swipes the air up at my brother. Don’t let him do it, Bizzy. Mayor Woods will chop his head off if he gifts her that thing, and I rather like his head attached to his body. Nobody takes a blade to my Uncle Hux.

  Sherlock whimpers, Mayor Woods has threatened to chop my tail off one too many times. I wouldn’t trust her with a knife, Bizzy.

  Hux reaches down and gives Sherlock a quick pat before picking up Rudolph.

  “Maybe I’ll just give her this cute little fuzzball.”

  Rudolph yelps and jerks until he wiggles his way back to the floor.

  I don’t wanna get my tail cut off! Or my head! Save me, Sherlock! He nestles under Sherlock’s paws in an effort to hide from Mackenzie’s clutches.

  I can’t blame him.

  “I doubt Mack’s ready for a puppy,” I say. “Let’s have her get used to picking up after you first.”

  “Good idea. I’ll go with the weird dress. See you tomorrow night. I’ll be at the inn with my ring at the ready—and a fight. I’ve got a way to juice her up and good. I might need gloves.”

  “And a helmet.” I frown as he takes off to find the perfect gift Mackenzie will never wear.

  I’m about to head over and invite Georgie, Juni, and my mother to the inn tomorrow night when I spot a barrel-chested man with a bushy beard holding up a wonky quilt and looking at it as if he were trying to make heads or tails out of it.

  “Ooh, let’s go,” I whisper to Sherlock and Rudolph as I navigate them that way. “Warwick Tully,�
�� I practically sing his name. Last night when Jasper and I did a cyber deep dive into each of the suspects, we were most impressed with Warwick. It turns out, he’s been the acting CEO of Telenational for years now and has turned a virtually unknown, and on the verge of bankruptcy, company into a corporate giant overnight. It’s remarkable what he’s been able to do.

  “Bizzy.” He gives an open-mouthed smile as he looks my way and gives Fish a quick pat on the back. “Fancy meeting you here. I’m a bit deficient on gifts.” He holds up the red and green wonky quilt my way. “I’m afraid my mother would love this.”

  We share a warm laugh. “I’m sure she’ll love it. And if she doesn’t, they’ve got a great return policy.”

  “Good to know. I might be rolling in the green, but it doesn’t mean I like to part with it so quickly.”

  “Congratulations on Telenational. You’re really incredible. What’s your secret? I’d love to make the inn sparkle and shine financially—not that it wasn’t before.” Great way to make it seem as if I was doing just enough to get by when it belonged to Quinn. I’ve poured my heart and soul into that inn. But that doesn’t mean I would turn down any advice he might have to offer.

  He gives a knowing nod. “My suggestion is to give the people what they want. Raise the prices by double, and sell yourself as the biggest deal this side of Maine. Trust me, they’ll come in droves.”

  “Wow, double?” I blink back. “I get the feeling the inn game is a lot different than the telecommunications game. I’m guessing it’s like juxtaposing hopscotch to major league football.”

  He barks out a laugh. “That’s great. But remember this, there’s no business too small to capitalize off of a little creative branding.” He gives a wink. “Have a great night, Bizzy. And Merry Christmas.”

  “Merry Christmas to you,” I say as I make my way out of the melee and straight into a body. “Eve!” I stumble back after smacking right into her. “I’m so sorry.”

  “No worries. It’s a zoo out tonight.” The pretty brunette blinks back with her mini me in tow, and her daughter wastes no time in picking up Rudolph.