Stay With Me

by Grayson, Alivia

  I can’t allow her to be alone anymore. I need to see her; I need to tell her how sorry I am for what she went through. I need her to know that no matter what, I will always love her. I need her here with me, safe in my arms. We can talk about Ryan; I need to talk about him.

  However, for right now, I need to speak with my daughter.

  I scrub my hand over my face while waiting for Kristin to answer my call. I could use a shave, two days worth of stubble is not attractive, or so Ricky used to tell me.

  Ricky.

  My Ricky.

  What will it take for me to make her see that she belongs here with me?

  “Hello, Bryan.”

  “Hey, Kris.”

  “What’s up with you, you sound awful?”

  “Just having a bad day. Can I speak with Faye?”

  “Yeah, but don’t put the phone down when you’re done, there’s something I need to speak with you about. I was going to call you later, but this has saved me the trouble.”

  “Okay.” Lord knows what she wants to speak about, but right now, I don’t even care.

  I hear rustling on the other end of the line, someone mumbling and taking the phone. “Daddy?”

  My eyes close for a second as I breathe deeply. No matter how hopeless things seem, my little girl will always bring me back down to earth. I may not have ever loved her mother, but God gave me the gift of this little girl, and the Lord knows how grateful I am for her every single day.

  “Hello, pretty girl,” She giggles, what that heavenly sound does to me. “How are you?”

  “I miss you, Daddy. I want to come to your house.”

  “I want that too, angel. Maybe Mommy will let you come soon.”

  “Kay.” She says that in such a defeatist manner. She knows as well as I do that Kristin will not allow her to visit here for a while. “I love you, Daddy.”

  “Oh, I love you, too, my sweet baby.”

  “I need a favor from you.” She didn’t even let me say goodbye!

  “And what would that be?” I scrub my hand over my face again. I just want this day to be over. Hell, I want this whole week to over. I feel like I’m losing control of my life!

  “I need you to take Faye for a while.”

  Okay, that got my attention.

  “When you say a while...?”

  “Three months?” I want to yell at her, demand to know why she wants to dump her child, our child, for three months. However, right now, I just don’t care. I want my baby girl here with me. “Dennis asked me to go to Paris with him. I want to go, Bryan, this is a huge opportunity for me to get my designs out there.”

  She’s been trying to break into the fashion industry for years, or so she told me when we met at that bar. She’s quite a bit older than me, thirteen years older. If she hasn’t broken into the industry at the age of forty, I doubt she will now.

  “When do you leave?”

  “End of the week. I was hoping I could drop her off to you tomorrow evening?”

  “Three months?”

  “Three months.” She parrots back. Three months with my little girl is just what I need.

  “I look forward to it.”

  “Oh, thank you, Bry. I knew I could count on you. Faye will be so excited.” I hear the relief in her voice, did she think I wouldn’t want to take care of my own child? “I’ll see you tomorrow.” Without waiting for me to answer, she ends the call — typical Kirstin.

  The fact that she didn’t allow me to say goodbye to my daughter has irked me. That woman never allows me to speak with Faye for too long.

  However, having Kirstin in Paris means that I’ll get to spend Christmas with my daughter for the first time since she was born. I’ve longed for that since the day I found out she was mine. She was three months old before that happened. Fourteen months old before I got to spend any time with her.

  Another woman who didn’t feel it necessary to tell me I had a child until... No, I refuse to do this to myself, to Ricky. She doesn’t deserve it. Yes, our child died, and she didn’t tell me, but deep inside of me, I get why. I don’t want to punish her for it; I just want her here with me. I want to hold her so we can cry together over what might have been.

  I want her to stay with me.

  “Bryan!?” How in the hell did he get into my house? “Bryan, where the hell are you?”

  “Kitchen, Ty!”

  My brother comes barging into my kitchen. His tie loosened around his neck, his suit jacket unbuttoned, his hair disheveled, and looking like he’s just run ten miles. Which is crazy when it’s over a mile drive to my house from the main road, so I know he will have driven.

  “What’s got your tail in a spin?”

  “I’ve been trying to call you for over an hour! Dad has been trying to call you.”

  “Okay...?”

  “Something happened to Ricky,” Instantly, my stomach turns over. Something is wrong, I know it.

  The chair falls back as I jump out of my seat. “What did he do to her?” I know if something happened to her, Ray would have a hand in it. Don’t ask me how I know, but I do. I’ve always known.

  “When Ricky left here, she went to Bob’s. Ray was there. I don’t know the Ins and outs just that he beat the crap out of her, Bry.”

  I grab my hair in handfuls and pull. It’s my tell when I’m pissed off, or when I’m trying to contain the anger that has a nasty way of sneaking up on me. I shouldn’t have let her leave!

  “How bad is it?”

  “I don’t know. Dad was on his way over to Bob’s to fix his shower. Ray came dashing out and drove away so fast he almost crashed. Dad heard Bob yelling for help, so he ran inside and found Bob cradling Ricky. I don’t know, man, it’s bad. Dad took her to the hospital, and Bob begged me to come and get you.”

  I think I’m in shock. How bad could this be? Ray’s never beat her badly before. Yes, he’s hit her in the past, but he never put her in hospital. I have to go to her. I cannot lose her now. I just can’t.

  “Let’s go.”

  Nine Years Ago

  Do you promise to love me forever?’

  ‘I promise, baby,’ I say with a kiss to her head.

  After making love, Ricky fell asleep in my arms. She woke a few moments ago with a smile on her face. I hadn’t slept; I couldn’t sleep; I just watched her sleeping peacefully. The feeling of her skin against mine has done something to me, changed me in ways I cannot explain.

  Her fingertips toy with the sprinkling of hair on my chest. ‘I want us to be this way forever.’

  ‘We will be, and do you know why?’ I bring her hand up to my mouth and plant a kiss on her fingertips.

  ‘Why?’ She asks quietly.

  This may be crazy; we’re young. Maybe too young right now for what I want us to be. However, I know in my heart that it’s right. I have loved Ricky since I was six years old, and I will love her until my dying day.

  ‘Because one day, you and I are going to be married.’

  ‘We are?’ She lifts to look at me, her hand on my face as her eyes search mine. ‘Oh, Bryan, I want that more than anything. To be your wife is all I have ever wanted.’

  ‘I love you,’ I softly say, as I cup her face, my fingers sliding into her hair.

  ‘I love you more.’ She kisses me. Nothing should ever feel this good. It should be criminal.

  ‘I told you! Dad, didn’t I tell you where she’d be?’

  Shit. Fuck!

  Both Ricky and I scramble to grab our clothes, holding sheets against our naked bodies as my bedroom fills with people. My parents, hers, her sister, my brother, and my sister. All are looking at us like we’ve just killed a school full of pupils.

  Her father looks from me to Ricky, fire burning in his eyes. He’s going to kill me, even in this room full of people, he’s going to kill me.

  I manage to pull on my jeans before he lunges at me, punching me square in the jaw, knocking me back but not off my feet. There’s so much yelling, arguing. My father is
holding Ray back so that he can’t hit me again. His wife is shaking Ricky as she cries, and my mother is demanding that Ray leave her house. She may be best friends with Ricky’s mother, but she can’t stand Ray.

  God, I didn’t do this to hurt anybody. I did this because I love Ricky, and I need to have her with me.

  ‘You vile slut!’ Ray yells at Ricky. I open my mouth to protest, but my father holds up his hand to silence me. I do because I have respect for him, although that could be called in to question after what I did here with my best friend. ‘You were promised to Brother David. You were to be his bride!’ I watch Ricky whimper.

  I didn’t know any of this. Who the fuck is Brother David? Why didn’t she tell me?

  ‘What are you now, Lyric? What are you!?’

  ‘I am Bryan’s. I love him!’ I smile with pride. She’s standing up to him for me.

  ‘You are a whore of Satan, and you will never see this boy again!’

  ‘Where the hell are you taking her?’ I run after him as he drags Ricky screaming from my room, screaming for me to help her, to not let him take her from me.

  He pushes her at her sister, who grabs hold of her forcefully. She’s such a fucking little mini-me. God only knows what they’ve turned her into.

  When did they become this brainwashed?

  When did they begin to think it okay to use God’s name to torture their child?

  ‘Take her to the house.’

  ‘Bryan!’

  ‘It’s okay, baby. I will come for you, I promise!’

  ‘I love you! Don’t forget me!’

  ‘I love you, Ricky! I won’t let them take you from me!’ Then Ray grabs me, slamming me against the sidewall of my house. My father is trying to drag him off me all at the same time. However, I can’t tear my eyes away from Ricky as they drag her away from me. Right now, I am terrified for her.

  ‘You will never see Lyric again after this night. If you try, I will have you arrested for the rape of a minor! Do you understand me?’ Again he punches me in the face. It doesn’t bother me, and it doesn’t affect me. I feel nothing. ‘Do you understand me?!’

  ‘He understands, Ray. Now let him go!’ My eyes finally lock with his. This man does not scare me, and if he thinks for one second, I will walk away from the girl I love, he’s more stupid than I thought.

  My father manages to pull Ray off me before I slide down the wall. There’s so much adrenaline pumping through my veins that my legs won’t work. I have to think fast. I need to get to Ricky. I need to get her away from here until she’s of age to become my wife. I won’t stay away from her. I love her too much to walk away. No matter what’s at stake. She’s mine.

  No matter what, she is mine, and she always will be.

  ‘I have to get her out of there,’ I mumble to myself.

  My father crouches down in front of me, grabbing my face in his hands. ‘You will not go over there, Bryan. Do not make this worse right now. You go barging over there, and Ray will call the police. He’ll tell them all sorts of lies just to have you locked up, and no matter how far you run, they will find you. Once they do, they will throw you in jail.’

  ‘I don’t care.’

  ‘You don’t care? What about Ricky? What will happen to her then, Bryan? I love you, son, but you need to take a step back for a little while. We will work this out, I promise you.’

  ‘I love her, Dad. I love her so much.’ The tears of hopelessness fall from my eyes as he grabs me and holds me against him.

  ‘Everything will be all right.’

  I can only hope that he’s right.

  Chapter 17

  Bryan

  This room seems to be closing in on me. My parents, my brother, and Bob all sit waiting for news of what’s happening with Ricky. I’ve been pacing the floor since I arrived a few minutes ago.

  According to my father, they took Ricky from him as soon they arrived and rushed her into a private room and told my father to wait here with Bob. My mother arrived not long after, and, of course, my brother drove me here.

  Fuck it, what’s taking so long? I need to see her; I need her to know that I’m sorry and that I love her.

  “Sit down, Bry, you’re making me dizzy.”

  “Shut up, Ty.” I may have told him to shut up, but I take a seat, rest my elbows on my thighs and press the heel of my hands into my eyes.

  “What happened, Bob? Why did he do this to her?” I hear my mother ask.

  “At first, Ray wanted Ricky to leave. She refused. Then he told her that he wasn’t really her father,” I look up in shock, but by the looks on my parent’s faces, they already knew. “Then he kept saying how Ricky could come home if she married some leader from his church, how it would cleanse her soul. She’s not the weak little girl that Raymond remembers. Ricky told him that she didn’t want that, but that she was staying here for Bryan and me.”

  “For me?”

  “She still loves you, son.” He clasps my shoulder and squeezes it. “She’s always loved you.” He lets go of my shoulder and turns away from me again. “I don’t know how it happened. I didn’t see it coming. Ray hit Ricky with the back of his hand so hard that she hit her head on the corner of my coffee table as she went down. Then he kicked her, punched her. I tried to make him stop.” The old man sniffs. “I lay over her to protect her. It seemed to snap him out of it. Then he ran.”

  “I’m gonna kill him.” I hadn’t meant to say it out loud, but right now, I mean it. I’ll fucking kill him!

  “Calm down. The police will find him, Ricky will press charges, and he’ll...”

  I cut my father off with, “You don’t really believe that. That damn church of his will hide him...” The door opens, cutting me off.

  “Are you Dr. Spencer’s family?” Doctor Spencer? Who in the hell is that?

  “Yes,” Bob gets to his feet and shakes the hand of the forty-something doctor now standing in front of me.

  Ricky’s a doctor?

  Why in the hell did I not know this?

  Am I actually stupid? All she ever wanted to be was a doctor! However, with everything going on, I didn’t even think to ask.

  “How is my granddaughter?”

  “Dr. Spencer is going to be just fine. She’s a tough cookie.” He smiles.

  Spencer. Ricky took my name. Don’t that make my heart swell?

  “She has a few bruises, split lip and such. However, she has no permanent damages. No broken bones or cracked ribs, no concussion, just a headache. She’s very lucky.”

  “Thank you so much.” I watch a little dazed as Bob shakes the doctor’s hand again.

  “Now, the police have just spoken to Ricky about the attack, and I’ve been assured they will be looking for the man who did this to her.”

  Good!

  I hope they lock him up and throw away the key, but then I have a feeling there’s more hell to come before that man gets what’s coming to him.

  “Good. Good.” Bob says. “When can we see her?”

  “You’re all family?”

  “Yes. The five of us.”

  “Okay.” He smiles. “This way.”

  We follow him down a long corridor to a private room on the left. Ricky looks up from the bed; she’s sitting on the edge of as soon as the door opens. I hang back a little as everyone files in. She hasn’t seen me, but I can see her, and my God, he’s made a mess of her face.

  The right side of her face, temple to cheek, is covered in a huge dark bruise. He must have hit her hard. I see she has a split lip, and God knows where else she’s bruised up. She looks like she’s been through the wars.

  When is all this shit going to stop?

  When is she finally going to have the life she always deserved?

  “Oh, sweetheart.”

  “I’m okay, Marie,” I notice my mother taking Ricky’s hand. Respecting her “no touching” rule. “It looks worse than it is.”

  “What did the police say?” My father asks.

  “They said th
ey’ll arrest and charge him. I guess they have to find him first. I told them I also want them to look into the abuse Ray has been inflicting on my grandfather, for I don’t know how long.”

  Wouldn’t surprise me in the slightest. That bastard of a man would hurt his own father and think nothing of it, just as he did his daughter all these years. Although, the fact she’s not his daughter has shocked me.

  “Bob, is this true?”

  The old man lowers his head while tucking his hands in his pants pockets. “I can handle, Raymond.” He says as he lifts his head and pushes his shoulders back. He doesn’t want to look weak in front of anyone, but he shouldn’t feel ashamed. This kind of thing happens to elderly people far more than it should. “I won’t have you worrying about me, Ricky. Not now. We can talk about this later. Right now, I want to make sure you’re okay.”

  “I’m fine, grandpa. Thank you all for coming to check on me; and Shawn? Thank you for what you did.”

  “You don’t have to thank me, sweetheart.” I see her smile slightly. She’s wondering where I am. Scared that I didn’t come, scared that I did. I know her inside out. “Are you okay?”

  “Just wondering.”

  “If you’re wondering where my brother is...” I watch Tyler nod in my direction. She gasps as her eyes lock with mine. “Let’s give these two some time to talk.”

  “Good idea.” Bob makes his way over to Ricky, and with a kiss to her head, says, “I will just get some coffee, and then I’ll be back.” She smiles and watches everyone leave the room.

  “You didn’t have to come.” Her voice is quiet, she’s worried, a little scared maybe. She has nothing to be scared of, not where I’m concerned.

  “Um... I bet I look a mess.” She laughs nervously. I don’t answer her, and she pulls her lower lip between her teeth. “I want you to know how sorry I am for everything. I never meant to hurt you, but whatever my reasons, I know now that they were wrong and I...” She stops talking as I make my way over to her. Even bruised up, she’s beautiful. I may be hurting in ways I have never imagined before, but I love her, I won’t lose her again. “I don’t want you to hate me, even though you have every right to do so.”