Throwback

by Zeia Jameson

  Then, I feel her hand slide down my stomach and she moves her leg a little.

  She makes her way to her destination and she’s still staring me in the face. She takes a firm hold of me and I inhale sharply. While her hand is still in place, she leans in and kisses me. I grab the back of her head and I kiss her back.

  We may just do a little more than make out.

  This epiphany causes my heart to pump faster.

  Before I know what’s happening, she climbs on top of me. She straddles me and sits on my stomach. And I realize that the only thing she is wearing is that t-shirt.

  Holy hell.

  Livy finally breaks our kiss and sits up. She places her hands on my chest and seductively runs her fingers down my chest and over my abs.

  “Damn, Jeremy. I have imagined what this chest and these abs looked like more times than I’d like to admit. I assumed based on your bulky biceps, this was pretty chiseled too, but wow! It’s even more magnificent than I imagined.”

  She leans down and kisses me again. I kiss back but I’m hung up on her words. I know I’ve got a pretty good physique but hearing her say it kicks my libido directly from first to sixth gear, and quite swiftly, I might add. Livy sits back up, crosses her arms and grips the bottom of her shirt. She hesitates and smiles. She rolls back her hips a little so that she’s now sitting on top of my boxers, creating more pressure than what was already there.

  “I dreamed about us again last night. Being naked. It was pretty hot,” she says slowly, in a low, sultry voice.

  She rolls back a little more.

  “And you were poking me in the ass with this thing most of the night,” she giggles. But then her smile fades a little and she tilts her head, looking me in the eye.

  “I know the last few weeks have been crazy and I’ve probably been a class-A bitch...”

  I shake my head no. I can’t speak.

  “But on the nights I actually slept, I still dreamed about you.”

  She lets go of her shirt and leans down for another brief kiss. She brings her lips to my ear and whispers, “I don’t think I can wait another second. I’d really like these dreams that I’ve been having to become a reality. Think you can help me out?”

  Stop being a doofus and speak to this sexy creature who’s propositioning you!

  I slide my hands up her thighs and grab her ass. I nod my head and smile at her, “I think I can assist.”

  She kisses me and I squeeze her plump cheeks. She sits up once again and removes her shirt.

  Sweet baby Jesus.

  I remove one hand from its current, comfy position and touch her collarbone. I graze the side of my hand from that spot and trail down the middle of her chest. I make my way down to her stomach and over to her hip bone where there’s a tattoo. I trace my fingers over the design. It looks Celtic. It’s circular and there are words, that are not English, following the perimeter of the symbol.

  Livy says, “The symbol is supposed to mean strength. The writing is Gaelic. It means your life is only yours to live. It’s from a book I read.”

  I smile, “Of course it is.”

  I trace my fingers over the tattoo once again. “Got any more of these?”

  “No. It was an impulse purchase. Hurt like hell.”

  I take another look at the tattoo and then back at her face. “You are so fucking beautiful. How did I get so lucky?”

  “Funny,” Livy replies, “I was just thinking the same thing about you. It’s almost too good to be true.”

  “But it is true,” I assure her.

  She leans down and we kiss again. Instantly, our hands are all over each other. We are exploring every square inch of one another. Livy moves to the side of my face and kisses my cheek. Then she makes her way down to my jaw. She’s performing some sort of kissing/licking/nibbling combo and it’s driving me wild. Almost over the edge. I close my eyes and try to think about random stuff.

  Baseball.

  Current events.

  The Walking Dead.

  But my hands are roaming everywhere and images of naked Livy are flooding my brain.

  She continues her endeavor down my neck and makes her way to my chest. I point my chin down to look at her and she almost simultaneously raises her eyes up to meet mine. She smiles and moves over to one nipple which she proceeds to bite. I squirm. Goddamn that hurt but it felt amazing. She looks back up at me and snickers.

  Red Sox

  Politics

  Zombies

  I don’t know how much longer I can take this euphoric mouth torture she’s giving me.

  But I also don’t want it to stop.

  Dead, disgusting brain eaters.

  She’s at my stomach now. She stops the kissing and places a finger just below my navel. She looks at me again and that feeling of frightening, anxious lust reemerges. I have no idea what is about to happen.

  I can’t wait to find out.

  With one fingernail, she gently trails down to the edge of my boxers. She brushes her finger back and forth on my skin just above the elastic. Livy looks up at me once more. She’s taking her time and she’s teasing the hell out of me. And I’m fucking loving every minute of it. With both hands, she grabs the waistband. I lift my hips a little and in less than a second, I too am naked and exposed in broad daylight.

  Her eyes grow wide and she’s grinning from ear to ear. “Sweet Mary Mother of Joseph.”

  Before I know what’s happening, she’s moved her hips and positioned herself over me. She takes me into one hand and then lowers herself onto me with full eye contact. She descends slowly. My eyes roll into the back of my head and maybe hers do to. I have no idea. But we both let out a desperate groan. I open my eyes and look at her. Her head is thrown back and her chest is arched. Her long, brown hair is cascading behind her and light from the mirror’s reflection of the sun in the window is peeking through the strands. It’s the most beautiful sight I’ve ever seen. She begins moving, and for I don’t know how long, I’m in another world. I’m disconnected from reality and there is no clarity. All that exists is the most wonderful sensation I’ve ever experienced. No reasoning. No rationale. No logic.

  I’m making my way to the edge when Livy begins to moan. Repeatedly. With each of her movements, the moans get louder and louder. Finally, I can feel her tighten around me and she lets out the loudest one of all. It’s low and animalistic. My instincts are to release with her but I don’t want to be done yet. I want this connection between us to last forever. Livy leans down and puts her hands on either side of my face. Our eyes connect and she kisses me fervently. I hook my arms around her waist and flip positions so that I’m hovering over her now. Still kissing and still connected.

  I move inside her while kissing her everywhere. Her neck. Her shoulders. Her breasts. Her mouth. I can’t take in enough. Her peachy scent, her soft skin and her sensual noises are spinning me into oblivion. I rise up and lift her leg so that it is resting on my chest. I put one arm underneath her back to raise her hips slightly. Keeping a steady rhythm, I turn my head and begin kissing her leg just as I had imagined doing the night before. I open my eyes and see the goose bumps. I shift my gaze to her and she is looking back at me. I kiss again and then very gently, I bite her calf.

  “Jeremy,” she says, in a husky whisper. Hearing her say my name enhances every sensation in my body. With her leg still resting on my chest and my arm around her back, I bring her as close to me as I can. I escalate my pace and she begins to breathe heavier. My breathing increases as well. I’m very close to losing control and I want Livy to come right along with me. I take my free hand and beginning at her ankle, I slide it down her leg, until there is no more leg, and I put my hand to work.

  “Oh my God!” Livy screams as she arches her back higher. “Livy,” is all I can reply. Increasing my pace and intensity even more, I again lose clarity. All I can focus on now is each moan that accompanies every breath Livy exhales. “Jeremy!” she screams and I can feel her tighten around me once
again. With that, all control is lost and I let go. Livy’s perpetual noises and her pulsating squeeze take me so high that I might not ever come down. I don’t think I can. The feeling that has built and is escaping me is every feeling and emotion I have ever had, magnified by ten thousand. I lean down to Livy and kiss her hard. She wraps her legs around my back and hooks her feet at the ankles. Her grip is strong like she never wants to let go. And I never want her to.

  I break our kiss. We are both panting and sweating. I put my forehead against hers.

  “You fucking sucked at that,” she says, breathless and smiling.

  “So did you. I guess we’ll need more practice,” I say, mimicking her sarcasm.

  She exhales a quick laugh and then looks at me with abstraction. “Jeremy, that was amazing. Better than amazing. As many times as I’ve dreamed and imagined us doing this I could have never envisioned it to be that unbelievable. It was more than sex. I felt like we were one person. Or that we fit perfectly together. I don’t know. Saying it out loud sounds corny.” She closes her eyes, as if she’s ashamed.

  “It does sound corny,” I tease, “but I felt the same way.”

  Livy’s eyes open and focus on me. “Really?”

  I nod my head, my forehead still touching hers. “Mmmmhmm”. I move down and kiss her gently. “This may sound corny too, but I have never felt this way with anyone. I know people use that as a line all of the time, but I’m sincere, and I really don’t know how else to put it. “

  “Oh yeah, I’ve heard that line before.” She smiles. “But lines like that are used to get laid, not after the fact. So, your sincerity seems legit.” She winks and clicks her tongue at me. Then she lets out a small huff. “I have definitely never felt this way. Not even close,” she says and rolls her eyes up to our adjoined foreheads. “Jeez. We sound like two mushy losers from some dumbass chick flick. What have you done to me?”

  I laugh. “Calling it a chick flick is just perpetuating a stereotype.”

  “Well, they are called that for a reason. When’s the last time you watched one?”

  “Good point.”

  Livy smiles. Her legs are still wrapped around me. We are still embraced fully. Still connected.

  I never want to move.

  “I wish we could stay like this forever,” Livy says. The fact that we often seem to know what each other is thinking is weird but interesting at the same time.

  “It would be nice,” I respond, “But we’d probably get hungry.” I lean down and kiss her on the side of her face.

  “Jeremy,” she says in a matter of fact way. Her tone has changed. I look at her.

  “I don’t ever want to get married. Or have children.”

  I’m perplexed. This seems out-of-left-field random.

  “I…I just. Jeremy, I feel things with you, around you, that I’ve never felt before. I even act differently when I’m with you. It scares me but at the same time it excites me. I don’t want to let you go because I miss you when we aren’t together. It sounds so lame but it’s the truth. But I feel like I needed to tell you that because I feel very strongly about it. I wanted to tell you this before we got involved further but I just didn’t. And I didn’t expect this to happen this morning but I couldn’t resist you, being in my bed, both of us half naked. I thought I could but I was fooling myself and being selfish because I wanted so badly to fall asleep in your arms.” She pauses and looks at me even more seriously than before. “If you want to bail then I’ll completely understand. It’ll hurt me like hell but it’s not right for me to hide that from you and lead you on to false expectations. “

  I’m speechless. I don’t know how to respond.

  Livy turns her head away from me. “I’m sorry,” she says, “I just ruined an absolutely perfect moment by dropping that on you. I should have at least waited until we got dressed, I suppose.”

  My heart is aching. But not because I’m upset. It’s because there is so much pain in Livy’s words. I want to take all of her pain away. I look at Livy and see this woman who deserves everything she’s ever desired primarily for the sole fact that she never wants for anything. Whatever has happened to Livy weighs heavy on her and floats over her like a dark cloud insisting that she isn’t allowed to be happy.

  “Livy, you didn’t ruin anything. And I’m not going anywhere.” I say nothing further and keep my promise to her not to ask questions. Although I want to. I want to know. So badly. And only because I want her to tell me so I can bottle it up and toss it away and help her understand that it is perfectly fine for her to be happy.

  With me.

  Forever.

  I roll over onto my side and I wrap her up into my arms and bring her into me. “Let’s lay here awhile.”

  “Don’t you have to work?”

  “Nope. Let’s relax. Then later I’ll take you for breakfast. Or brunch. Lunch. Whatever you want. And then we will spend the rest of the day doing whatever you want.”

  “I have to work tonight.”

  “Nope again.” I kiss her on top of the head. “Sara is working.”

  “You sneaky devil you.” She taps me lightly on the ribs.

  “I thought if I asked you, you’d give me resistance. So I just decided to take charge of the situation so you wouldn’t have the opportunity to say no.”

  “Well, I guess since you are holding me hostage, I’ll try to make the best of it.” She looks up at me and winks again.

  “I know it’ll be tough.” I look back at her. “But I think if you try really hard, you just might have some fun.” I swoop down for a quick kiss.

  “Challenge accepted.” She smiles.

  I smile back.

  I love her smiles. I want to see them more often. And I want to spend all the time I can keeping a smile on her face.

  Livy deserves to be happy.

  I hope I can get her to understand that.

  Challenge accepted.

  ***

  10

  Livy

  Three months later

  Ever since the morning I made the superlative decision to basically assault Jeremy in my bed, every day after has been more perfect than the previous. Jeremy still helps me close up the bar on the nights I work. The other nights not working were, for a few weeks, filled with studying for finals to finish up the credits I needed to obtain an Associate’s degree. Two weeks ago, I finished my last class and I am officially a college graduate.

  A week after my last final was the graduation ceremony and although I had no yearning to participate, Jeremy, Joe and Sara all pushed me to do it until I caved. Joe closed up the bar that evening, so the three of them could all attend and see me walk across that stage. The evening was equipped with cameras, videos, gifts, flowers, and dinner with three people who exuded so much pride in me I didn’t quite know how to take it all in. The evening was really more for them than it was for me. But I was totally fine with that. I was glad to have finished the degree, but I didn’t know what I’d do with it. I still didn’t see myself leaving Joe’s bar. I was perfectly happy staying there.

  The best part of that evening though was Jeremy.

  After the evening ended we parted ways with Joe and Sara and we went to his place. He barely had the door unlocked before he grabbed me around the waist and pulled me into the apartment. Shutting the door, he pushed me up against it and I gasped. He kissed me hard. “Damn it, Livy, that dress looks amazing on you.”

  I rolled my eyes while his mouth was all over my neck. “Don’t start, Jeremy. Never again. I swear.”

  I had made the mistake of telling Sara that I intended to wear slacks under my graduation gown and her exact words in response were, “Oh hell to the motherfucking no.” She told me that I was wearing a dress if for no other reason than to let Jeremy have the privilege of getting to see my smokin’ legs in a dress at least once.

  So—I wore a dress.

  When Jeremy saw me for the first time that evening when picking me up, he had whispered in my ear professing
how fucking hot he thought I was. Fucking hot were his words, not mine. He also threatened to pull over onto the side of the road and take me in the back seat of his car on the ride to the ceremony. I told him to cool it and at least try to make it through the evening without his tongue hanging out of his mouth and his eyes all bugged out like some silly cartoon character.

  I put up a tough front. But listening to him whisper those words to me almost made my knees buckle and I’d be a liar if I said I didn’t want him to do everything he described he wanted to do to me on the shoulder of a two lane road in a cramped back seat.

  The first time we had sex released something in the both of us that neither of us knew we had been keeping locked away. We couldn’t keep our hands off of each other. Every time Jeremy touched me, I was instantly stimulated. He didn’t even have to touch me, really. Every time he spoke, my core would twinge. Hell, when he walked into a room and my nose caught a trace of his cologne my entire body pinged and pointed to Jeremy like a spaniel tracking a hunted bird. Sometimes, closing up the bar, we couldn’t even wait to finish and get home. We’d have to take a sex intermission before finalizing the cleaning and paperwork.

  This attraction to Jeremy hit me like a ton of bricks. I don’t know how to make heads or tails of the way I feel about him. But I’m not looking for explanations. I’m just enjoying what’s in front of me.

  Jeremy.

  “Your legs in this fucking dress are driving me insane. I can’t wait another second,” he said to me. He pressed me up against the door harder and he put his hand under my ass. He lifted me and I wrapped my legs around his waist.

  Locked tightly onto him, he spun us around and took a few steps to the kitchen and set me down on the counter.

  “What are you doing?” I asked.

  He reached underneath my dress, snatched off my panties and tossed them over his shoulder.

  “Taking full advantage of this dress.” He pressed his lips to mine and scooted me to the edge of the counter. He fiddled around with his belt buckle and pants and I heard them fall to the ground. Jeremy kissed my neck and I threw my head back. He moved his hands and mouth on me like there was a five alarm fire. I felt his hand graze up between my thighs motioning to part my legs. I writhed with pleasure when he placed his fingers exactly where he wanted them.