Throwback

by Zeia Jameson

  Crown Plaza Hotel

  Firelight Hall

  Tonight

  7pm

  ***

  51

  Jeremy

  Firelight Hall

  Livy and I are at our wits end about what we’ll see when we open the double doors of the banquet hall we are standing in front of. When we arrived, we asked the concierge how to make our way to the Firelight Hall. He smiled as though he was expecting us. “Ah, yes,” he said as he motioned us to follow him. “Right this way.”

  Livy and I racked our brains all day, hypothesizing what was going to happen tonight in the ballroom at seven o’clock. Were we going to meet the ethereal creator of the trunk? Were we going to be drawn into a bright, white light from above and be abducted by aliens, never to be seen or heard from again? Perhaps someone came up with this entire elaborate plan not to help us, but to get us in a specific place at a specific time to serve us with legal papers over some frivolous law suit. After deliberating with Livy for nearly twelve hours, we had decided that any scenario that we had come up with was possible. There was actually even one that we kept going back to: one of those Nigerian bank scams actually being real. That we had a long lost relative living in a foreign country who was willing to part with a huge sum of money, but first we had to prove that we were both in our marriage for the long haul.

  Anything was possible. Unlikely, but possible.

  Livy and I are standing side by side, shoulder to shoulder. I turn my head to her and she mimics the movement. We both inhale a deep breath almost simultaneously.

  “Are you ready?” I ask.

  “As ready as I’ll ever be.”

  We both reach for the door. Being that they are double doors, we each reach for a handle. I hesitate to pull the handle down, as does Livy. Neither one of us want to be the first. I find my balls and decide that I should take the lead. I slowly maneuver the handle to a downward position and Livy follows suit.

  We look at each other one last time before we push the doors open, revealing the mystery and our fate.

  “What the fuck?” Livy exclaims. With the doors open, we step into what seems to be an empty, dark banquet hall. I step back out and look at the gold etched plate above the doors.

  Firelight Hall

  “We are in the right room.” I scratch my head. “I don’t underst—”

  Just then, the lights of the room flip on and blind me. Livy and I both shield our eyes with our forearms. There is so much light that it seems to be coming from every direction. We may have gotten it right with the alien abduction.

  Very lightly in the background, music begins to play. It’s the same song we were instructed to listen to a few days ago. Janis.

  As my eyes adjust to the light, I lower my hand. Livy begins to do the same as soon as she hears the song. I take my attention away from the song to notice that there are people standing in front of us. My eyes aren’t quite yet adjusted so while I can tell they are people, they are still blurry people. Shapes of people.

  And then I heard Amelia coo. As soon as the sound reaches Livy’s ears, she makes a dash in the direction from where the sound came. “What are you all doing here?” she asks.

  What? Who? I close my eyes and shake my head to try to get my visual focus in check. I reopen my eyes and the people look familiar to me now.

  Mom. Maggie. Jenna and Mike. Sara and Craig. Maxwell. Joe and Vicky. And Amelia, who Livy is now holding onto for dear life.

  “Surprise!” everyone yells in unison.

  “What? What the fuck is going on?” I didn’t mean to say that out loud but I think I just did.

  Mom walks up to me and gives me a hug. “Oh, baby boy, you look so confused.”

  “Uh, I am. Why are you all here?”

  “We were invited. This is a celebration for you and Livy.”

  “Wait. What? A celebration? For what?”

  “For figuring it out.”

  I don’t know how much my mother knows about the trunk. If anything. Certainly, hopefully, not everything. If my mother gave me porn to encourage me to have sex with my wife, I may never be able to look at my mother again. I may never watch porn again. I may never have sex again.

  “For figuring out that you two stubborn asses were meant for each other and that you love each other.”

  “Oh. Yeah, that. Of course,” is all I can say in response. My mind is on overdrive trying to figure out how much she actually knows. My mind is also blown away by the fact that she just said asses.

  “Wait,” Livy says, quizzically. “I don’t understand. All of you were in on the trunk?”

  “Well, it wasn’t our idea, technically,” Sara chimes in. Livy and I wait but she doesn’t offer any more details. From the feeling I have about the air in the room, I think we are going to have to coax every single detail out to find out the whole story.

  “Mom, you acted like you didn’t know anything about the trunk the other day,” I accuse. She looks at me but doesn’t respond.

  Livy blushes. “Uh, do ALL of you know what was in the trunk?” She looks at Rosalie and then at Maxwell. I can tell in the expression on her face what she is praying the answer will be.

  Sara grins and raises an eyebrow. “Everyone was asked to contribute something. We only know about what we offered.” The look on Sara’s face tells me that she knows about the porn. “And the journals. We all know about the journals,” she continues.

  “The journals?” Livy asks hesitantly. “Did you...read...?”

  “None of us have read anything,” Sara ensures. She seems to be the mouthpiece of the group. No one else has spoken. No one else will answer.

  “So, if none of this was planned by you, then whose idea was it?”

  Silence.

  Awkwardness. Mike puts his hands in his pockets. Mom shifts her weight. I notice Maxwell look at his watch at the same time Sara looks down at the phone she has in her hand.

  “Sara,” Livy starts “What is going on?”

  Sara exhales but says nothing.

  Jesus, I am so tired of this game. If someone doesn’t speak soon, I’m going to start shaking shoulders until I get some answers.

  Just as I’m about to start with Jenna, a voice floats into the room from behind Livy and me. Someone has entered the room from the doors we just passed through not moments ago.

  “Hello, Olive.”

  ***

  52

  Livy

  There are four people on this planet that have called me by my birth name.

  1 – Jeremy, who is on my left. He called me Olive once and I threatened his life if he ever said it again.

  2 – My grandfather, who is standing in front of me. He called me Olive when I was younger. Before I decided I just wanted to be Livy.

  3 – The preacher who married Jeremy and me. He is not in my visible presence but I am more than one hundred percent sure that the person saying my real name behind me is not him.

  Because the person who just spoke is a woman. That leaves only one option as to who it could be standing behind me. But I didn’t have to guess anyway. As soon as she said the word hello my insides cringed and my stomach revolted against me, making me want to vomit on the spot.

  All of the people standing in front of me remain frozen, awaiting my reaction. Jeremy doesn’t move either. He’s too confused. With Amelia in my arms, I slowly spin around. Even though I already know who the person standing in the doorway is, I still gasp in shock when I see her.

  “Nancy.”

  ***

  53

  Jeremy

  “Nancy,” I hear Livy say.

  Nancy. Nancy? Who is...

  Oh fuck. Nancy. Livy’s mother.

  I am immediately at Livy’s side, my arm wrapped around her. She is shaking. I am terrified as to what might happen next. Livy might murder this woman. There is a very high probability that my wife may be about to murder her mother.

  I take Amelia from Livy and Livy hands her over willingly. Li
vy stands there motionless staring at Nancy. Nancy does the same but the difference between the two is that Livy looks ready to pounce and Nancy looks extremely nervous. She’s clutching a bag in front of her with both hands, arms straight down. Her top hand is kneading and wringing the one underneath—the one that is holding on to her bag so tightly that her knuckles are white.

  They stare at each other for a very long time. Above the music playing in the background, I swear I can hear the second hand of a clock ticking somewhere.

  Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock. It goes on forever.

  I take a few steps back and after kissing Amelia on the cheek, I hand her over to my mother. I may have to intervene in what’s about to go down, and Amelia needs to stay safe.

  I lean into my mother and whisper, “Why in the hell is she here? What have you all done?” My mother then leans into me. “We didn’t do anything, love. We were just asked to help. It took some convincing but we decided it was for the best.”

  “Did Maxwell do this?”

  “No, he’s just a helper like the rest of us. He took more convincing than any of us. He didn’t want her to have anything to do with yours and Livy’s relationship.”

  “Wait. What? Her who? You mean Nancy? What does she have to do with any of this?”

  “Everything. This was all her idea.”

  ***

  54

  Livy

  The woman standing before me is not the woman I remember Nancy to be. The Nancy I remember wore denim cutoff shorts and tank tops with no bra. The Nancy I remember had rusty orange hair that never looked to be brushed. The Nancy I remember always had a cigarette between her fingers.

  This woman in front of me sounded like Nancy, for sure, but looked nothing like the Nancy of my childhood. This Nancy was holding onto a big leather purse, which looked to be somewhat expensive. She was wearing a violet pants suit and heels. And pearls—both around her neck and dangling from her ears. This Nancy had brown hair, like mine, and it was pulled up into a tight, neat bun that sat on the back of her head. This Nancy had on makeup. Mascara. Lipstick. She looked...clean. How the hell could this person really be Nancy?

  “Olive?”

  She says my name again and the bile resurfaces. Anger radiates through my entire body.

  “Who the fuck are you?” Is my first instinctual question. I spit out my inquiry to her as though it were a piece of rotted food.

  There is shock on her face and her hands tighten tighter around the strap of her bag.

  “I’m...I’m, your mother.”

  “Like fuck you are,” I throw back before her words completely leave her mouth.

  “Olive, I...”

  “Stop fucking calling me that!”

  “Livy,” Rosalie interjects. I snap my head to her. “Did you know she would be here?” No response. I surf the crowd behind me with my gaze. “Did all of you know that she would be here?”

  Crickets.

  “Olive…I mean, Livy.” The woman who just had the audacity to call herself my mother speaks. “They were all just trying...”

  “Shut! Up!” I say, whipping my head back around in her direction. “You do not get to speak to me!”

  My world is spinning. I do not understand what is going on. First we come to this mystery location and then we were supposed to be celebrating something and now all of a sudden Nancy is here. I try to steady my dizziness and ask the universe to help me make sense of things. I at least beg that it’s not going to throw me anymore curve balls. Just as I’m done with my pleading, a man walks up behind Nancy and places his hand on her shoulder. She’s still staring at me. The man leans in and whispers something into her ear. She shakes her head no. The man is tall. Taller than me, also with brown hair. He is also wearing a suit. And he looks oddly familiar. How do I know this guy?

  “Who the fuck are you?” I ask. Only one way to find out.

  “Olive,” the man says.

  Goddammit with that name!

  “I’m Ronald. Ronny. I’m your dad.”

  My world goes black.

  ***

  55

  Livy

  “Livy, wake up. Livy.”

  I hear Jeremy’s voice. Thank God, I was dreaming. I must have fallen asleep in the car or something on the way to the hotel. I wiggle around a bit to signal to Jeremy that I am waking up. I have to recover from the horrific dream I just had where Nancy was standing in the doorway of a ballroom. With my dad.

  “Livy,” Jeremy says again and shakes my shoulder. “Wake up.” I try to open my eyes but it’s difficult. Like when you try to wake from a nightmare because you know you are dreaming but you just can’t. You fight so hard to open your eyes but the harder you fight, the further you get sucked into the nightmare. I twist again and realize that either I’m not in the car, or that Jeremy’s car seats have been switched out with the most uncomfortable, cold, hard seats in existence—all in between the time we got in the car to go to the hotel and now. Jeremy lightly taps me on the cheek “Livy.” My eyes pop open and I sit up fast. I am extremely dizzy and nauseous. “Whoa,” Jeremy says, “Slow down.”

  “What?” I ask confused. “What is going on?” My eyes adjust and I scan my surroundings. A room. A big room. With decorations and a table filled with food. There is music in the background. Janis. This soothes me for a second until I remember that this is the exact setting of the dream I just had. And then I realize something else. I wasn’t dreaming. I dart glances everywhere in a sheer panic. There is no way what I just experienced was real. It had to have been a dream. That is the only logical explanation.

  Then my glances fail me and my eyes land on her. And him. I begin fanning my hand up and down in front of my face. “Oh my God, I think I’m going to puke!”

  “Someone get her a cold rag and a ginger ale!” Jeremy yells. He hugs me and involuntarily I begin to sob. Hard. Loudly. “Shh, shh,” he says and rocks with me on the floor. “I am so sorry. I had no idea,” he whispers.

  I don’t acknowledge that I heard him. I feel so betrayed by everyone who I know with exception to Jeremy. Why would they do this? Why would they think this was ok? Why? The whys make me cry even harder and when I think that there are two people in the very same room as me, claiming to be my parents, witnessing my melt down, I cry even harder.

  I feel something cold being placed on the back of my neck—the wash cloth Jeremy requested. “Livy,” Jenna says, “Here, drink this.”

  “Is there bourbon in it?” I ask, muffled into Jeremy’s chest. Jenna replies, “No, but I’m on it. Here, take a few sips of straight ginger ale first to settle your stomach.” I reach my arm out in the direction of her voice without looking up. I feel a solo cup being placed in my hand. I grab it and immediately sit it on the floor.

  A few moments later, Jenna comes back. “Here, Livy what did you do with your cup?” I look up at her finally and see a bottle of bourbon in her hand. She was going to add a little to my ginger ale.

  Fuck that.

  “Just give me the bottle, Jenna.” I reach out my arm and she reluctantly hands me the bottle. “Livy?” Jeremy questions. He is afraid of what the outcome of this might be. I bring the bottle straight to my lips and take an elongated swig. Three or four gulps. Jeremy hugs his arms around me tighter either begging me to stop or telling me he understands. I’m not sure which but it keeps me from finishing the bottle which I am certain I could have done. I put the bottle down next to the ginger ale and wipe my lips with the back of my hand. I straighten my shoulders and take a deep breath. I have some scores to settle.

  I stand up, a little unsteady. Jeremy quickly stands up with me waiting to brace me if I fall over.

  I look over to Rosalie and everyone else crowded around her and Amelia.

  “I don’t know how any of you thought it would be appropriate to corral me here under false pretenses and expect me to celebrate anything with her.” I point to Nancy. “I don’t know what she’s told you about herself and I certainly never told an
y of you about my past because I didn’t want your pity, but this is in no way a celebratory occasion. Reuniting me with her?” I look over at Maxwell, “I am especially disappointed in you. You knew! And you still let this happen! How could you?”

  The bourbon is beginning to take effect.

  I look over at Nancy and the man claiming to be my father. “And as for the two of you. I don’t know why you are here but you can fucking leave. I don’t know what you want, but I can tell you I’m not giving you any money and if you think you are going to lay your hands on my child...”

  I can’t even finish the sentence. I have no words for the graphic visual sketched in my head of what I would do to them if they thought they could come around just because they have a grandchild. Thinking of all the things Nancy ever did to me. All the harsh words she ever threw in my direction. To think those same hands and that same voice, touching and talking to Amelia made my whole body writhe with pain so much so that I wrapped my arms around my stomach and bent over slightly.

  “Livy, are you ok?” Jeremy has his hands on my shoulders. I take a deep breath and nod. I look over at Nancy and Randy, or whatever his name was. “You should both leave. Now.”

  “Livy, maybe you should just hear...”

  “Sara, I really don’t want to be mean to you right now so please stay the fuck out of this.”

  My eyes still locked on Nancy, “Leave. I have no interest in whatever you want.”

  Neither of them budges. It infuriates me. This is a celebration for Jeremy and me, dammit! I should be able to force them to leave. Call security or something. But this is a public place and I didn’t reserve the space. I don’t even know who did but no one else in the room seems to be on my side to get them to go away.

  “Fine. Jeremy, get Amelia. We’re leaving.” He does as I ask. He’s the only one who hasn’t seemingly lost his mind. To my right, I notice there is another door for the banquet room. There is an exit sign above it indicating that I should be able to use it to escape this alternative universe we apparently have entered. There is no way I’m leaving out the doors we came in. Nancy and the man she brought with her are way too close to that door right now, meaning that if I attempted to exit that way, I’d have to get closer to them before I could get farther away. “Come on Jeremy.” I make my way to the side door. Just as I am within reaching distance of the exit, a voice cries out in despair, “Livy! I love you!”