Undone: The Untangled Series, Book Two

by Layne, Ivy

  Knox gave my baking ingredients the side-eye but said nothing. We moved to the next aisle, passing shelves of packaged cookies. I waited for him to grab one in case my chocolate chip cookies turned out like the muffins and the coffee cake. He ignored the cookies and other snacks but grabbed a canister of raisins and one of oatmeal as well as a bag of apples, an extra carton of eggs, and a pint of gourmet vanilla ice cream.

  I threw in a box of fruit-juice popsicles for Adam, and we headed to the checkout. I didn't know the teenager at the register. Tourist season was short but busy, and every business in town had temporary summer help.

  There's an old saying: There are only two seasons in Maine. Winter and July. Like most old sayings, it was based in fact.

  We got our share of visitors when the leaves blazed across the mountains in the fall, but winter came early, and tourist season hit in the heart of summer. As in, right now.

  Town was packed, including the grocery store. Normally so many strange faces might have made me a little edgy, but I was glad not to have to explain Knox to anyone who knew me.

  I packed our frozen food in the cooler I kept in the back of the Land Rover, adding the bag of ice I'd purchased, and arranged the rest of the groceries around it.

  “Why don't you shop before you pick him up?” Knox asked.

  “In the winter I do. The store isn't as crowded. This time of year, it's so busy I never know how long it'll take to get out of there.”

  “Do they charge extra if you're late?”

  “They do, but that's not it.” I nestled the eggs carefully so they wouldn't get crushed as we drove home on the curving roads, keeping my eyes from Knox. I didn't like to think about why I shopped first. Anything that hurt my baby sliced through me.

  “Since Trey died, Adam gets upset if I'm late picking him up. At the end of May, I got stuck at the store, and by the time I got there, he was bawling. It took a while to calm him down, but he finally told me he thought I wasn't coming. That I'd been in an accident like his dad. Now I'm careful to be there a little early. It's a waste of gas to drive back and forth when we're so far from town, so I use the cooler.”

  Knox nodded in understanding. I didn't like to think about that day, Adam's desperate tears, his red face and heaving sobs. He was so young to face the loss of a parent. Grief is a difficult process for an adult. For a child? I'd do anything to make it easier for him.

  “There's a coffee shop down the street,” I said, changing the subject. “I usually leave the car here, get a cup of coffee, and then go to the park. That okay with you?”

  Knox lifted his chin in agreement. I'd take that as a yes. We walked in silence down the hill to the heart of Main Street, passing the church where Adam was in preschool. The small coffee shop was packed, the line stretching to the door.

  I got in the back of the line, resigned to wait, when I heard my name called from behind the counter. I looked up to see Dana, a junior at the high school and our occasional babysitter. She waved me over, her long, dark braids flipping over her shoulders.

  “You don't have to wait behind all these tourists,” she said, not even trying to lower her voice. A few of the people in line grumbled but fell silent after a look from Knox.

  Dana grinned up at my companion and shot me a questioning look. Knowing there was no way I could get out of explaining, I said, “Knox, this is Dana. She babysits for Adam sometimes. Knox is up to do a few things with the house. His company worked with Trey when we built it.”

  Some of the excitement in Dana's eyes dimmed. House stuff was boring. Exactly why I'd explained it that way. Dana was a great kid with nice parents, but small-town gossip is a force of nature. I didn't want the widow's new lover to be the latest hot story.

  Dana's natural exuberance overwhelmed her disappointment and she grinned again, ignoring the grumbles of the customers second and third in line. “What can I get you guys?”

  “Iced s'mores latte for me,” I said. From beside me, Knox said, “Americano. Black.”

  “Just a sec. You guys can wait over by the bulletin board. I'll bring your stuff there.”

  I was fumbling with my wallet as Knox handed Dana a bill saying, “Keep the change.”

  “You didn't have to do that.” I led Knox to the side of the counter where creamers, sweeteners, cinnamon, and stirrers were lined up beneath a huge bulletin board packed with flyers and business cards.

  Knox shrugged. We stood beside one another, comfortable in our silence, absorbing the chatter of the packed coffee shop and reading the flyers stapled and pinned in layers on the bulletin board.

  Someone was trying to get rid of kittens. Not a single tab missing on that one. Guess nobody wanted kittens this summer. Someone else was trying to sell a used Honda. That one had a lot of takers. Only one tab with the phone number remained. There was an out-of-date flyer for the 4th of July concert and a new one for the Arts in the Park Festival the next week.

  Dana delivered our drinks and we left, working our way through the tourists crowding the sidewalk until we got to the park. It was early enough that we were able to find a bench under a tree and we sat, Knox beside me, facing the town docks and the lake.

  Black Rock was not where I imagined I’d end up. I always saw myself living in a city or near one. Trey had grown up summering in Black Rock, and he'd dreamed of living here full time. The town had charm, the people were friendly, and it was beautiful.

  Still, I was lonely.

  I didn't fit in, and even before Trey died, I was lonely.

  We watched boats bobbing at the docks, and a young girl playing catch with a puppy, the girl doing more fetching than the dog.

  I wondered, idly, how long I could sit in silence before Knox would break it. It turned out, not that long.

  Chapter Ten

  Lily

  Iliked the movie last night,” he said.

  “Me too. I used to watch old movies with my dad when I was a kid. That was one of our favorites.”

  “What are your other favorites?”

  I laughed. “Oh, it's a long list. Pretty much anything with Cary Grant. And I love Hitchcock.”

  “I took a class on Hitchcock in college,” Knox said.

  “Really? Because you like Hitchcock or because you thought it would be easy?”

  “Both,” Knox said with a hint of a wry smile. “I majored in engineering and history. I tried to go easy with my electives.”

  “I could see that. I majored in education. I did most of my electives in psychology and sociology. Stuff like that.”

  “Did you want to be a teacher?”

  A sigh slipped from my chest as I cast myself back. College felt like another life. I'd been so certain of everything. What I wanted. What I would do. Some of it worked out. A lot of it hadn't. I stared at the sunlight playing over the water, trying to figure out how to answer his question.

  “Lily?” Knox prompted.

  “I love kids, used to babysit for extra money, so I thought I'd like teaching. I planned to finish my undergrad and get a Masters in Early Childhood Education. Then I met Trey, and he wanted to get married and move up here. We fell in love so fast. He wanted a family, and so did I. His parents hated me. Mine despised him. It was us against the world, and school—”

  “Didn't seem that important?”

  “Yeah. Do you know what that's like? When you first fall in love? Everything is so intense. The sun is brighter. Every song has a deeper meaning, like it was written just for you. When someone tells you to slow down, it feels like they don't understand.”

  “Did they? Understand?”

  I let out another sigh and sipped at my latte. “Yes and no. Trey's parents didn't like me because I wasn't what they imagined for Trey.”

  “How?” Knox's eyes on me were kindly inquiring.

  I looked away as I said, “Not white enough.” He
let out a grunt. “They denied that was it, but we knew. Little comments about my 'background' or my 'people.' My dad is an Ivy League professor of economics, and my mom's a successful artist. Nothing to complain about there, except my dad is black. Trey's parents refused to meet him but invited my mom—who's white—to come for a visit.

  “They made it pretty clear what their issues were. When they couldn't scare me off or talk Trey into dumping me, they threatened to disinherit him. They weren't crazy rich, but they had money. They thought that would do the trick, but he hated when they tried to control him with money, and we were in love. Then—”

  My throat closed tight, and I had to swallow. So many years gone by, but their deaths had changed everything.

  “There was a fire. Trey's father forgot to change the battery in the smoke detector. They didn't wake up. They'd threatened to disinherit him, wouldn't talk to him, and a few months later, they were gone. We hadn't been married long. A part of him blamed me. He never reconciled with them because of me.”

  “Did you tell him not to? Forbid him from seeing his parents?”

  “No, of course not. I didn't want to see them myself. They were openly rude to me, and I didn't want to deal with it. I should have encouraged him to reach out. He could have gone without me. They lived in Boston, it wasn't far. So much pride.”

  “Did your parents ever warm up to him?”

  “I haven't seen my parents since the day before I married Trey. My father told me he wouldn't walk me down the aisle, and if I went through with it not to bother coming home. I sent them a wedding announcement, but I never heard back.”

  “Nothing?” I felt rather than saw Knox's head turn, the pressure of his eyes intent on my face.

  I couldn't bear to see his expression, the pity I imagined was there. Years later and it still hurt to say it out loud.

  “Nothing. I sent Christmas cards the first few years we were married. I know they're all right. My father is still a professor. My mother was featured in a coffee table book on oil paintings. I bought it when it came out. She's been doing beautiful work.”

  “Were you close before you married?”

  I thought about how to answer that. How to explain the complex ties of parent and child, the expectations and the failures, the disappointment and the love.

  I settled for, “We loved each other. I love them. They had plans for me. I was supposed to be someone great, to follow my father's footsteps and be a renowned academic, or inherit my mother's talent and create amazing works of art. But I wasn't either of those things. I'm just me, and the things I wanted seemed so small to them. We fought a lot when I was in college, but I never thought they'd shut me out. And then they did.”

  “If you'd known you wouldn't see them for all these years, would you still have married him?”

  Knox was full of hard questions this morning, wasn't he? My brain needed more caffeine or my heart more courage. I didn't have to think about the answer. One thing made it very simple.

  “Yes. Absolutely.”

  “It was a good marriage?” Knox asked. His tone didn't quite hide the thread of disbelief.

  My laugh was only a tiny bit bitter. “No. No, it was terrible, honestly. We were too young to get married. We should have waited. I wonder if my dad would talk to me if I sent him a postcard that said, 'You were right.’” I laughed again, and this time the sound was soaked in bitterness.

  “So, why? Why would you marry him again?”

  I turned to him, incredulous. “Adam. I would go through anything for Adam. He's the best thing that ever happened to me. I'll spend the rest of my life trying to deserve him. I'd like to think that if Trey had lived, he would have grown into a good father. A decent husband.”

  I stared at the lake and ignored Knox's grunt of disbelief. I didn't know what he knew about Trey, probably enough that his disbelief was justified. Given his job, I'm sure he knew more about Trey than I did.

  And yeah, it was unlikely Trey would have grown into either a decent father or husband. The most realistic future, if he'd lived, was our eventual divorce and Trey sliding into the role of an absentee father. There wasn't any harm in believing there'd been hope. Especially since that hope was entirely gone.

  I was done talking about myself. “What about you? Are you close to your folks?”

  Knox let out a huff of breath that might have been a laugh. “It's complicated.”

  “Isn't it always with parents?”

  “Yep. I worked with my dad until a few years ago. We're… estranged, I guess.”

  “You don't know?”

  “That's the complicated part. I have three brothers, and we're tight. We run the company together. One of my brothers, Axel, lives in Vegas, and I don't see him as much as I'd like, but the rest of us are in Atlanta.”

  “Must be nice to have siblings.” I'd always wanted siblings. A little brother or sister to play with. My parents hadn't been interested. One child was enough interruption in their busy lives.

  “Most of the time it is,” Knox agreed.

  “What about your mom?” I pressed, knowing it might be rude to ask for what he hadn't offered, but I wanted to know more about the man sitting beside me. He was living in the cottage. I'd trusted him with our lives. I'd be foolish not to pry when I had the chance.

  “That's complicated, too. She—” Knox trailed off. I risked a glance to see his eyes locked on the lake, unfocused as if tossed back into memory. I waited, and eventually, he started speaking again.

  “I know what you mean about expectations. My mom is not a happy woman. My dad was a shit husband, and she drinks.”

  As always, Knox was succinct, and his words packed a punch. So much pain in such a short sentence. I whispered, “I'm sorry.”

  He huffed out a laugh as bitter as mine had been. “Me, too. She had plans for us. Cooper, my oldest brother, would take over the company along with Axel. My younger brother Evers and I would marry well and be her social companions.

  “She always loved her social life, the parties and the lunches. She wanted us to golf and let her dress us so we could escort her around town.”

  I tried to imagine Knox as his mother's permanent date, playing golf and attending luncheons, but the picture wouldn't gel in my head.

  I burst out laughing at the thought of this intense, quiet, capable man frittering away his life on the golf course. I slapped my hand over my mouth, embarrassed to be laughing when he was baring his soul, but when I snuck a look in his direction, a rare grin was stretched across his face.

  “Crazy, right? Evers maybe could've pulled it off. Me? No fucking way. I went to college, we all did, and then, like Cooper and Axel before me, I joined the Army.”

  “That, I can see.”

  “My mother never forgave any of us. If she gets enough gin in her, she goes off on how we all abandoned her, how we don't love her, that kind of thing.”

  “Does she live near you?” I asked, hoping the answer was no. I didn't know Knox that well, but I hated the idea of his mother throwing her unhappiness in his face on a daily basis.

  “No. She moved to Florida a few years ago. We rotate visiting. She swears now that she hates Atlanta—though she didn't when she lived there. She refuses to come back.”

  “Where did you serve in the Army?” I asked, letting Knox off the hook. Enough painful conversations for one day.

  “I was in for a while. Started in Japan, then the Middle East. Then some places I can't talk about.”

  I didn't press for more. This was the most Knox had spoken since he'd shown up at my door. When I'd asked about his family, I’d figured he'd blow me off.

  I never would have imagined Knox and I would have so much in common. I can't say he made me feel better about the situation with my parents, but I felt less alone. These days, not feeling alone counted for a lot.

  Knox set his e
mpty coffee cup on the bench beside him and raised his chin in the direction of the docks and the shabby hut on the end. The window beneath the striped awning was open, a line stretching into the parking lot.

  The only thing new about the place was the freshly painted sign. SMILEY'S CONES.

  “That ice cream any good?”

  “Yeah, it is. It's great, actually.”

  “You finished with the coffee? Come on, I'll buy you a cone.”

  A warm glow spread in my chest. I slugged back the last sip of my latte and stood. “Ice cream sounds perfect.”

  Knox put his hand between my shoulder blades, guiding me across the park toward Smiley's Cones. He wasn't holding my hand. His arm wasn't around me. Still, the pressure of his warm palm against my spine felt like so much more than the touch of a bodyguard to a client.

  The glow in my chest turned to a burn.

  I didn't fight it. I loved it.

  Even though I knew I shouldn't.

  Chapter Eleven

  Knox

  ABlack Rock police cruiser pulled into the driveway for the second time in a week. I knew better than anyone that Lily and Adam were fine since I'd been watching them play Chutes and Ladders over the surveillance cameras.

  I tried to ignore my twinge of guilt at spying on Lily. I was doing my job. All of them. I wasn't just here to protect Lily and Adam, I was here to find out what Trey Spencer, and possibly Lily, had been up to with my father. To do that, I had to spy, twinges of guilt or not.

  I was standing by the side of the driveway when Deputy Dave pulled to a stop and got out of the cruiser. He aimed a sneer my way that I'd bet intimidated the locals.

  I crossed my arms over my chest and lifted my chin. “Can I help you?”

  “No. I'm here to see Lily.”

  I took a step closer. “She expecting you?”

  “Look, guy, I don't know why you're still here, but I've known Lily for years. Her husband was my best friend. He'd expect me to be there for her, and that's what I'm doing. If you don't like it, you're welcome to get the hell out of town.”