A Sublime Casualty

by Addison Moore

  “I’ll take the floor.” Theo moves my bag onto the bed for me.

  “Please.” I can’t help but roll my eyes. “We’re not sixteen.” I bear hard into those cerulean eyes, and my heart races faster as if maybe I am. “We’ll share the bed. I’ll even let you pick which side. See? I’m easy.” I bite down on a smile because I’m flirting shamelessly, and I know it. It seems natural with Theo, far too easy to do, and it’s a wonder he’s not taken by now. I guess for tonight he’s mine. A part of me wishes we could extend that timeline, indefinitely maybe.

  “Are you really okay with it?” His brows create a hedge over his eyes. Neat trick, I want to tell him.

  “Yes. In fact, I’m not that tired. We can have fun with it. You know, getting to know one another a bit.” His lips curl, and I’m quick to swat him. “I meant verbally. Get your head out of the gutter.” That’s what an innocent girl would say, and since I’m method acting my way through life, it seems appropriate. The truth is, I know the gutter. I came from a place so much darker and scarier than that.

  “Sounds good.” He hikes his arms in the air as if surrendering. “And I promise to keep my hands to myself.” He nods to the door to his left. “Bathroom’s right there. It’s a Jack and Jill, but it’s all ours. It leads to Lizzy’s room, and my mother keeps it as a guest-free zone. She’d rather have people sleeping on the stove than on that bed.”

  “Totally understandable.”

  He hitches his forehead toward the bed. “That’s Nikki’s room. I’ve spent a lifetime socked in. They battled it out for that bathroom every morning, and I was my mother’s solution.”

  My thumb brushes over the stubble on his cheek. “You’re a great solution to any problem.” A sickening rise of giddiness hits me as I head toward the bathroom. “I’ll be right out.” I look back at him a moment. “I’ll be as quick as I can for a girl!” I sing cheerily enough, and he laughs. It’s terrible that I’m using the memory of Lizzy’s vanity as a means to buy myself some time, but if she’s alive she’d appreciate it. And if she’s dead, she won’t care in the least.

  “Take your time. I grew up with sisters.” He flicks off his shoes as I seal myself in and lock the door. My heart thumps wild as I eye the other door. A portal into the mind of a sexed-up maniac? Maybe. If there are any secrets in that bedroom, they would be hidden. No doubt her mother, Nikki, and maybe Detective Do-Nothing Neil have already scoured it. A thought comes to me, jarring me out of the moment. Theo told me at dinner the other night that Neil said the DMs to Miles never happened. How could that be true? I saw them myself. If Neil is that farsighted, maybe he’s glossed over a few mega clues in her bedroom as well.

  I bolt over, lithe as a deer, and open the door a few inches. It’s dark, save for the moonlight streaming in washing the room with a pale blue glow. The light from the bathroom floods it, instantly killing any night magic the moon afforded it. I take a step inside and note it holds the faint scent of lavender. I’m sure the family appreciates that scent. And as odd as it seems, I would swear on my life that I feel her here, really feel her presence. There’s a frilly see-through curtain hanging like a useless ghost against the window, a plain white comforter over a rattan bedframe, queen-sized like Theo’s. Their mother must have upgraded them all from a twin at the very same time. Calla seems practical that way.

  I head to the door leading to the hall, and lucky enough there’s a lock on it, and as fate would have it, it is indeed locked from the inside. Calla must have secured it in the event someone from the tribe meandered this way. A seam of light pours in from underneath it and creates a dim glow. I head over to the simple desk in the corner and spot frames dotting the top of the hutch. It’s too murky to make out the faces. There’s a stack of books to the right, can’t make out those either, but they look like devotionals, a Bible maybe—odd considering the way she funded her handbag frenzy. A few cables sit naked near the rear of the desk, exposed and lonely. Her computer is missing. I wonder where it went? Neil must have it. Or maybe it was a laptop and Calla took it for herself? I pull the desk drawer open and peer inside. Several pens glint in the moonlight, nothing else that seems worth noting. I pick a handful up and hold them toward the bathroom. A few gel pens, one Sharpie, and a thin pen in a dark metal sleeve. I roll it between my fingers, and a string of silver fonts catch the light. St. Regency Dunbar.

  My breath hitches at the sight. St. Regency? Miles had a memo on his phone that instructed him to deliver there. Could this pen be from that one incident? Unless, of course, there were many. I slip the pens back where I found them before heading to the closet. A hard squeak emanates as I open the mirrored slider, and I stop dead in my tracks. I won’t be able to close it, and it’s too dark to see in there anyway, so I head back to the bathroom and lock myself inside. I brush my teeth, shake out my hair, and put on the T-shirt I sleep in. And no matter how much I dig around in that bag that Gabby lent me, I can’t find my sweats. She must have taken them out. She thinks she’s funny. Gabby can be truly evil. I bet she’s torturing Jackson with tantric sex as we speak.

  The room is dim by the time I reopen the door. Theo already has the quilt up to his belly, and I can’t help but giggle at the sight.

  The room sinks in darkness as I turn out the light and crawl under the covers myself to stave off the icy sting from my legs. Moonlight trickles in, offering a dim ethereal glow, and it feels as if we’ve transported into a dream, another realm altogether.

  “It’s cold,” I chug out the words, scooting to the center of the bed and he meets me there. “Did I do okay tonight?” I ask as if he’s about to rate my performance. The irony being he had no clue I was performing. The scary thing is, it’s beginning to feel less and less like an act.

  “You did great.” His hands fish for mine as he swims in closer. The heat from his body travels to me, and my insides quiver as I drink it down, basking in his warmth. “My mother and Nikki love you. The consensus among my aunts is that you’re too beautiful for me.” His cheeks ride high with a smile masked in darkness.

  “You’re too beautiful for me,” I assure him. “And trust me, I don’t mean that as an insult.” A husky laugh brews in my chest, and I give his fingers a quick tug.

  He sighs as his head depresses deeper into his pillow, his glowing gaze still set heavy over me. “Tell me everything there is to know about you, Charlie. Leave no stone unturned. I’m interested.” His thumb rolls a soft circle around my forefinger. His breathing is calm and even, but it’s on an upward tick, as is mine.

  I want to tell him that my name isn’t Charlie. That I’m a horrible person for what I’ve done. That I have an interest in his sister’s case for a very perverse reason. A part of me prays Theo never finds out. But that’s not how life works. Not mine anyway. I will be found out, and the harder I fall for Theo, the more dangerous it becomes.

  “I miss my brother and sister.” There. It feels like a current releasing.

  “Sisters,” he corrects with a tiny buck of the chest.

  “I just miss the one. The other I can live without.” Because she doesn’t exist.

  A thought comes to me, detonating in my mind like the flash from a gun. “I love Jeremy Newton. I’m thinking about getting tickets for his show in December.” Every last cell in my body is on fire at the thought. “Do you want to come?” Wow. I am in utter disbelief of my own stupidity. But the moon has poured its illusions into the room, and Theo’s face holds the light as if he were a god. I want Theo. I want him with me all the time. There is no place on the planet I want to be without him.

  “I’m coming.” His entire face grins at the prospect. “You couldn’t stop me if you tried. In fact, I’m buying the tickets. Consider it an early Christmas gift.”

  I suck in a quick breath. “I can’t let you do that. I’ll never mention another thing if you do it.”

  “Then we won’t go anywhere else.” His finger bounces gently over my lip. “I’m sorry.” He pulls back.

  “No, it’
s okay.” My voice comes out smoky, far sultrier than I had intended, but my thighs are humming, my body buzzing to have him. I pull his finger up and kiss the tip, watching as his eyes close lazily with the action. “I guess that was our first kiss.”

  A soft groan emits from him. “No, this is.” Theo glides in and lands his lips over mine, soft and gentle, lingering just enough to make me shake for more. He pulls back ever so slightly, looking at me with those drugged eyes.

  “Is that all you got?” It comes from me breathless, and we both share a dark laugh before he’s on me again, mouth to mouth. Theo is bringing it home, deeper, longer, stronger. All of his affection exploding at once, and I meet him right there. Then in an instant we are all hands and teeth, my legs locking over his back. We tug off our clothes, roll around the sheets like lions trying to claim a pride. His mouth races over my body, licking a line from head to toe, hitting all of the crevices in between as if he owns them. Theo pulls a condom from thin air and glides it on. His eyes dart to each of mine.

  “Do you want this?”

  “Yes, I want this. I want you, Theo.” My fingers find a home in his thick glossy hair as his lips fall back over mine where they belong. We are at war with one another, vicious and beastly, then soft and delicate, making love like civilized people. The headboard slams against the wall like a heartbeat with his every thrust, and as much as the practical side of me demands to cringe, I grunt along with it.

  Yes, Officer Theo Stavros has made a very literal inroad into my body. And as much as I would like to deny it—he’s made one into my heart as well.

  The headboard slams into the wall like a grenade going off, one final bang, and it sounds like a gunshot.

  A visual of that night rings through my mind, Peavey and Devyn already down the street with their things, my shaky arms unprepared for the recoil. It was the look in his eyes that I remember most as he flew back into the wall. Blood splattered over the sofa as if someone stepped on a ketchup packet. It was truly a thought that went through my juvenile mind. I have grown leaps and bounds since then and lost my soul in the process.

  Theo lands over me in a heap, our dewy skin searing against one another, and the iced air cools us in an instant. I pull the quilt over his back and we lie there, catching our breath.

  It’s as if I’ve stepped outside of my good senses altogether. It’s as if playing Russian roulette with my life has become my new favorite sport.

  In the morning, after I make love to Theo again, I’ll do another sweep of Lizzy’s room. I would do anything to bring Lizzy back. It’s the least I could do to help her. After all, she’s helped me. I don’t know what I’ll find in there, but I do know what I won’t—her wallet. It was confiscated as evidence. Her identification is with me. I wonder how Theo would feel if he knew he just slept with the woman impersonating his sister? There are not enough words to explain why I did it. I could empty the world of all its excuses, and not one would be valid in his eyes. No. Theo would hate me. But I’ve already gotten him beat in that department.

  I curl my body around his as we drift off to sleep. If only we could wake up to a new reality, a brighter day in both our lives.

  If only.

  Theo

  In the morning, I rouse to consciousness with the sun lasering its brilliance over my reluctant lids. A warm arm lies stretched over my stomach as echoes of last night pump through me, playing back like a silent movie, and my lips can’t help but curl. Charlie didn’t hold back. Neither did I. And am I ever glad she didn’t demand an explanation as to where that condom came from. I fished it out of the duffel bag while she was in the bathroom, tucked a few into the nightstand just in case, and I felt like an ass with every move. Charlie takes a sharp breath before rolling to the other side of the bed. Her loose curls fall over her bare back dark as iron. I pull the covers up to her neck, and she snuggles into them before settling back into a deep slumber. Can’t blame her, we were up half the night. I toss on my sweats and head down to the kitchen. The grandfather clock at the base of the stairs reads a quarter till eleven. Nikki is the lone wolf sitting at the island picking at a muffin with her laptop opened in front of her, and she can’t take her eyes off it.

  “I’m shopping. Don’t judge,” she murmurs as she pops another bite into her mouth. She casts a quick glance over her shoulder and smirks at me. “It’s you.”

  “Just me. Everyone bug out already?” It’s practically as traditional as the turkey itself, the big exodus that occurs at the crack of dawn the next morning.

  “Auntie Di and Mom are in the back room watching the parade again. Said they missed it yesterday because of all the cooking.”

  “Nice.” I move past her and pull out a serving tray and set a plate on it. I’m going for carbs. If I’m lucky, Charlie will be up for round two before we hit the shower and bug out ourselves.

  “So, she’s your friend, huh?”

  My arm freezes midair as I go for a scone. “Yup.” I pop a couple on the plate along with a few muffins before filling up a couple glasses of orange juice.

  “You always fuck your friends?”

  I spin around and crane my neck in the vicinity, hoping to God not to find a living soul. “Would you keep it down? Do you always belt out expletives in your mother’s house?”

  “Only when my brother keeps me up all night with the rattling of his headboard. Nice move, by the way. Real smooth. Bring her to your mother’s and bash her skull into the wall for a half hour straight.”

  “It wasn’t a half hour.” I pluck a couple of napkins off the counter and curl them under the plate. A small pumpkin no bigger than my fist sits on the island, and I add it to the side of the tray like garnish.

  “That’s right,” Nikki starts with her voice dripping with sarcasm. “It was more like thirty seconds. You have zero stamina. You should probably see a doctor about that.” She tosses an apple at me, and I catch it mid-flight.

  “Okay, look, I’m sorry.” I wince. “I wasn’t trying to put on a show. It’s just one thing led to the next.” I rub my face raw with my hand. “It was Mom’s fault for putting us in the same room last tonight.”

  She belts out a laugh, and I join her, slow and pathetic. “All right. I wanted it. I can’t help it. Have you seen her? That’s only half the package. She’s amazing, Nick. I want you to like her. I plan on keeping her around for a good long while—forever if she’ll have me.”

  “Forever?” Her brows bounce with amusement. “Is my little brother finally getting serious again?”

  “I was never serious before,” I add quickly. Ashley sent another text last night while Charlie was in the bathroom. Wished me a happy Thanksgiving and wanted to know if she could stop by this weekend. I didn’t answer.

  Nikki clatters her crimson nails over the granite. “I ran into Ashley.”

  “What? When?” Like a demon, she’s leaped right out of my mind and into reality.

  “I went over to the Wakefield branch because they were working with a skeletal crew. Damn Noro is going around. Don’t you dare catch it. It’s lethal this year.”

  “What did she say?”

  Nikki’s lids hang low, her lips pulled into a line that usually spells out mischief on my sister’s part. “She asked about you. Asked if you were seeing anyone. I said no. Of course, I didn’t know about your special friend up until yesterday. Would it kill you at all to have a conversation with me once in a while?”

  “Don’t be offended.” I give her a light tap with my elbow as I steady the tray in my hands. “I live with Jackson, and not even he knows how much Charlie means to me.”

  She averts her eyes to the ceiling. “A discovery you made at midnight no doubt.”

  “Yes, but no.” Both of my sisters have always had a gift of extracting the truth out of me before I’m aware of it myself. “I knew there was something special about her from the moment we met. Sometimes you just know.”

  “Aw!” Her face contorts somewhere between grief and joy, and for a minute I
could fool myself into believing it’s Lizzy. “I’m so glad you found that with someone. If I see Ashley again, you want me to tell her you’re taken?” She waggles her brows. I’m sure it would bring her pleasure. It’s a well-known fact that Nikki enjoys stirring the pot. “You know I still see her as a sister—an annoying bossy little sister, but still. After six years, the girl is practically family.”

  “I know, I know.” I pinch my eyes shut. “I’ll do it. I’m in town anyway. It makes sense. I’ll bump into her sooner than later.”

  “She’s at the library now. You know they gave her the boot at the firm after she and Lizzy had it out.”

  “She and Lizzy never had it out.” I inch back at the thought. Ashley and Lizzy were close—closer than Nikki and Lizzy ever were. Maybe that’s what this is, some old jealousy coming back into play.

  “Sure they did—over Thomas.” She takes a sip of her coffee as if she just told me what the weather would be like today. “After Lizzy’s divorce was finalized, Ashley made a move. It was right after the two of you—” her fingers cover her lips. “Actually, I have no clue when all of that went down. I’m sure it was after you broke up. You know, a bad rebound. My God, as if her best friend’s brother wasn’t enough, she went for the jugular.”

  “Thomas? Hell no.” I shake my head at the thought, adrenaline coursing through me for no good reason. “Are you sure about this?”

  She shoves the rest of her muffin into her mouth as if voluntarily muzzling herself and gives a quick nod.