“So, why are you scared?”
“I’m scared of feeling, and you, Jackson Lauder, have the potential to make me feel all kinds of feels.”
_______________
“You want to get out of here?” I ask after we have finished eating. I wouldn’t mind heading to the basement club, but it will be loud as fuck down there and full of assholes ogling my date.
Vanessa has garnered her fair share of admirers tonight, but she seems oblivious. She’s not at all what I was expecting, and I’m surprised at how easy our conversation flows. She’s not the out-of-control airhead exuding clinger-slash-stalker vibes anymore. That will make this easier to endure. Hell, who am I kidding? My cock’s been hard as a brick all night.
There appears to be little about fake seducing Vanessa I won’t like.
“I don’t mind.” She’s way more easygoing than I remember.
“How about a drive to Coney Island? We could go on some rides or take a walk?”
“A walk sounds good.” She beams at me, and her entire face lights up. Her eyes are glowing, and her face is full of life, and I am momentarily spellbound, staring at her like I’ve never seen a pretty girl before.
“I haven’t been to Coney Island in years,” she adds. “I hear they cleaned it all up.”
“I haven’t been back there since Dani died,” I admit, breaking out from under her spell and clicking my fingers at the sleazy waiter, gesturing for the check.
“I still can’t believe she’s gone,” Vanessa says in a soft tone. “She was always super sweet to me. Especially when some of her friends were being mean. She always stood up for me.”
“I didn’t know that,” I admit, my mouth turning dry. We all hung out as kids, but Dani wasn’t close to Vanessa, or at least, not that I noticed.
The waiter hands me the check on a circular silver plate, and I hand him my platinum card without even looking at it. He scurries off to swipe it.
“I was shocked when I found out she’d taken her own life,” Vanessa continues, pinning me with compassionate eyes. “Dani always seemed happy and so together. I guess you never know what’s going on inside someone’s head.”
“Or what’s been done to someone to push them to that point,” I blurt.
Her brow puckers in confusion.
The waiter returns, handing me the printout and a pen. I’m tempted to leave no tip because the guy’s been drooling over my date all night, but even I’m not that miserable. I smirk as I fill it in and add my signature. I hand it back to him and stand, extending my hand for Vanessa. Her tiny, warm hand lands in mine, and her touch sends shards of electricity shooting up my arm, surprising me.
“Is this a joke?” the waiter hisses, glaring at me.
I tuck Vanessa into my side and lean into the guy, staring pointedly at him. “I’d have left more than a dollar tip if you hadn’t been eye-fucking my date all night,” I retort.
“Fuck you, asshole.” He looks like he wants to punch me.
I cluck my tongue. “I suggest you look at the name on that receipt and shut your fucking mouth before I have you fired.” His face pales when he checks out my surname, and I almost feel sorry for him.
Almost.
“I’m so sorry, Mr. Lauder. Sir. I apologize for my disrespect. It won’t happen again.”
What a tool. “I suggest you avoid ogling the clientele if you want to hold on to your job.” I offer some parting advice before escorting Vanessa to the underground parking garage.
_______________
“I adore the beach,” Vanessa says, leaning over the railing on the boardwalk, examining the sandy stretch of shoreline with a wistful look on her face. She tips her face up a little, inhaling deeply. “I could never live anywhere too far from the ocean.”
“I agree.” I come up behind her, caging her in with my arms, maintaining a small gap between our bodies. We stare at the ocean in amicable silence. All around us, people are enjoying everything Coney Island has to offer. Although it’s almost eleven, the place is still thrumming with activity.
“How are you feeling being back here?” she asks, angling her body a little and turning her head up to face me.
My eyes automatically drop to her lips, and an urge to kiss her arises out of nowhere.
“I’m doing okay,” I truthfully admit. “It’s a beautiful, balmy night. The scent of the ocean is calling to me. And I’ve a gorgeous girl on my arm. What’s not to like?”
She squeezes my arm. “Thank you for taking me.”
“My pleasure.” Wispy strands of her hair blow across her face, and I tuck them behind her ears, pretending I don’t feel the crackle of electricity zipping in the space between us or the tingle in my fingertips where my touch grazes her silky-smooth skin. “Want to walk in the ocean?” I blurt, stepping back and breaking the spell before I do something crazy like kiss her for real.
“Sure.” A brief flash of disappointment races across her face, and the smug inner predator lingering under my skin silently fist pumps the air.
I lace my fingers in hers, and we hold hands until we step off the boardwalk and down onto the shore. Vanessa removes her bejeweled, white flat-heeled sandals while I toe off my Nikes. We walk to the water, and Vanessa fists her dress in one hand, lifting it until it reaches her knees.
The water is cool, with a hint of warmth, as it swirls around my toes.
“It’s warmer than I expected,” she says, smiling at me as we walk along the water’s edge.
“If there weren’t so many people around, I’d suggest skinny-dipping.” I wink suggestively.
“Of course, you would.” She giggles. “Remember that time we went skinny-dipping and Melania got stung by a jellyfish on her boob?”
I crack up laughing. “Fuck, yeah. She was screaming and shrieking so bad I thought she’d been attacked by a shark. Man, that was nasty. She had blisters all over her tits for days after.” I remember because I’d hooked up with her a few nights later, and the sight of the raised, red skin on her chest had almost cost me my hard-on.
I already admitted I was a dick, right?
Vanessa’s smile fades. “Couldn’t have happened to a more deserving person. She was a bitch, and I happen to think karma was at work that night.”
“They were all bitches,” I admit, slinging my arm around her shoulder. “And we were dicks for not defending you.”
Vanessa’s reckless behavior didn’t win her any fans. The girls chose not to associate with her because she was such a hot mess. They enjoyed ridiculing her any chance they got. Guys ran a mile because she exuded scary clinger vibes. Didn’t stop most of them from wetting their dicks in her pussy, but she was tossed to the curb after they got what they wanted.
We could’ve done more.
Should’ve done more.
But we were pissed Hunt’s dad kept foisting her on us, insisting we hang out with her and look after her, and we tended to do the opposite. She was annoying to be around. Always drunk or high or pawing at us. Hunt was the most patient, but even he struggled to deal with her when she was out of control.
Like I said, we were dicks.
She shrugs, but I know if it wasn’t so dark out I’d see hurt written all over her face. I need to lighten the sudden tense atmosphere. “But seriously, what’s a guy to do to get you naked?”
She shoves me off, but she’s grinning. “You’re an asshole.”
“Never said I wasn’t.”
“But you’re also a good guy, Jackson.”
Yeah, I’m so not. Something twists and turns in my gut, and it feels a lot like guilt.
Her amusement transforms as she looks at me with serious eyes. “I see the good in you, and whatever baggage you’re carrying because of what happened to Dani, you should let it go. That’s not on you. You were a great brother, and she adored you.”
“We should head back. It’s getting late, and you have work tomorrow.” Her words are cutting too close to the bone, and I need to shut this shit down now.
We wade
out of the water, retrieve our shoes, and head back to my car.
_______________
“I’ll walk you to your door,” I offer after I’ve parked at the curb alongside the diner and killed the engine. I still can’t believe she lives in a tiny hovel over her place of work, but I’ve kept those thoughts to myself.
I’m trying to woo her, not piss her off.
Although, I wasn’t lying when I said I admired her. She’s taken the shitty hand she’s been dealt, and she’s trying to make the best of it. I admire her strength and her determination, and I never would’ve believed she had it in her, but she has changed.
Vanessa giggles, and the sound does funny things to my insides. “I think I can manage.”
“I’m trying to be a gentleman here,” I quip.
“Perhaps, you should avoid talking about how to get me naked in that case,” she teases.
“Duly noted.” I brush my thumb along one side of her face, and she visibly shivers. “Wait there. I’ll get the door.”
I climb out, rounding the hood of my SUV and opening the door for her. I take her hand and help her out.
We hold hands as I walk her to her door, and I find myself wishing the night wasn’t coming to an end.
But that’s exactly why it should.
She stops at her door, turning to face me. “Thank you for a wonderful first date, Jackson. I had a really great time.”
“It’s my pleasure, Nessa.” I move in closer until our chests brush.
She tilts her head up, pinning me with those hypnotizing baby blues.
“Would you be up for a second date, and possibly a third, and maybe more?” I rub my nose along the side of hers, smiling as she gasps.
“I’d like that,” she whispers, her warm breath fanning across my cheek. The subtle scent of her light floral perfume wafts around me, and I’ve a sudden, unexpected urge to bundle her into my arms and hold her tight. If I didn’t know her rep, I’d mistake her for a sweet, virginal princess. But I do know her rep, and she’s as far removed from an innocent virgin as you can get.
“I’ll text you,” I promise, easing back a little to look at her. Her face is still angled toward me, her eyes swimming in expectation. Slowly, I lower my face, lining our mouths up, staring into her eyes, giving her a way out, before I close that last tiny gap between us and brush my lips against hers.
Her eyes shutter, and she presses into me as my arms circle her slim waist. I tilt my head to the side and plant my lips more firmly on hers, deepening the kiss as I hold her close. She kisses me back with the same skill and enthusiasm, and my cock strains painfully against my zipper. I moan into her mouth as my hands leave her waist, traveling up her body and winding into her beautiful hair.
She tastes divine, like liquid temptation and a tangible slice of heaven. Lust thunders through my veins, and the need to consume her rides me hard. Damn, her kisses are addictive, and her mouth fits against mine with ease, like we were made for one another.
That thought has me breaking the kiss before it can turn into anything else.
“You want to come up?” she asks in a breathy tone.
Fuck yes.
Hell no.
“Not tonight, babe.” I cup her cheeks firmly. Hurt and disappointment wage war on her face. I kiss her softly, just once, because I don’t trust myself right now. “I want to, Nessa. So bad, but I want to do this right.” I peer into her eyes. “You’re not the only one with little experience in dating.” As the words leave my mouth, I realize how much we have in common. It makes me uncomfortable, but I press on. “You deserve to be romanced and cherished and worshiped.”
Her disappointment flees, replaced with bright excitement.
And I feel like the biggest dick.
CHAPTER FOUR
Vanessa
“WHEN CAN I meet the hottie?” Chloe asks me the next day at work. We’re sitting outside in the back alley, enjoying lunch al fresco.
“If he’s still around in a few weeks, I’ll introduce you.”
“Don’t do that.” She shakes her head. “Don’t assume he won’t stick around.”
“You don’t know him, and you don’t really know me.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” She arches a brow, stabbing a piece of chicken like it has offended her.
“Jackson was a total manwhore back in the day, and I …” I worry my lip between my teeth. I don’t want Chloe thinking less of me, but I don’t want to hide the truth either, because friends should be honest with one another, right? “I was a total slut,” I admit.
“For the record, I despise those labels.” She jabs the air with her fork. “So what if you were both sexually promiscuous? Provided it was consensual, there’s no harm in it.”
I carefully school my features so I give nothing away. “It doesn’t exactly bode well for a relationship. Both of us are novices.” I remember girls bragging about dates with Jackson, but I can’t recall anyone going out with him more than once or twice. His dating record is almost as bad as mine.
“You can learn together.” She takes a drink of her soda. “And stop putting yourself down. I’ve noticed you do that a lot. You’re a great catch, Van. Jackson is lucky to be dating you.”
“Wanna turn gay?” I joke, shoveling a piece of pasta in my mouth.
“I love The D too much. And from the sounds of it, you do too!”
I howl with laughter, and it feels so good.
“What’s so funny? Talk to Mamma Mara.” The older waitress pulls up a chair and sits down.
“Van’s dating one of the hotties that came into the diner yesterday.”
“Well, blow me down with a feather, Missy.” Mara tweaks my cheeks. “I didn’t pin you for such a fast worker, but I’m damn proud.”
My cheeks flare up. “Oh my God, stop it. We only went on one date, and he probably won’t even call for a second.”
“Which of them was it?” she asks, leaning in, her eyes glinting with excitement. “Mr. Tall, Dark, and Handsome or the sinful blond with the gorgeous smile and Heartbreak City stamped on his brow?”
“Which one do you think?” I say, quirking a brow. Mara’s assessment is dead on. There’s no denying Sawyer Hunt is a much surer bet, but we have zero chemistry, and he’s as much of a commitment-phobe as Jackson is. Plus, he’s bi, and I can’t ever see Sawyer ending up in a traditional relationship. Not that there is anything wrong with that. You should be free to love who you love and live your life however the hell you want, but he’s not the man for me is all I’m saying.
Not that Jackson is either, but … Ugh. I’m getting carried away, and these two idiots are feeding my insanity.
“I’d be all over that blond hottie like a rash,” Mara says. “And I want deets. How big is his cock? I bet he knows how to use it too.”
“Calm the jets. We went on one date, and it wasn’t like that. He was a perfect gentleman.” I was upset for a split second when he turned me down, but after he explained, I floated through my door on a cloud. And don’t get me started on that kiss that almost knocked me flat on my ass.
I’ve never been kissed like that. I didn’t realize kisses were an even better high than hardcore drugs. I already feel a new addiction forming, and that terrifies me.
“The man clearly knows a good thing when he sees it,” Mara loyally replies. “You’re a knockout, honey, and you’ve the biggest heart. You deserve to be treated like a princess, and any man is lucky to date you.”
Chloe juts out her chin, folding her arms across her chest and sending me an “I told ya” look.
“Is it normal to be scared?” I ask, because this new Jackson Lauder scares the crap out of me.
“Totally,” Chloe agrees. “When I first dated Jon, I was terrified. Like bona fide scared shitless. He made me feel things I’d never felt before, and that’s the scariest fucking feeling. But it’s also the absolute best feeling once you get over yourself and learn to take a risk.”
“What if he breaks my heart?�
�� I voice my real fear.
“Every girl experiences heartbreak, at least once, before she finds true love,” Mara says.
“That sounds like something you’d read in a fortune cookie,” Chloe jokes.
“Doesn’t make it any less true,” Mara says, looking a little wistful, and I wonder what her story is. “Or the fact all a woman may know is heartbreak, but that doesn’t mean it’s something one should shy away from. If that’s all a woman gets to experience, then, I say grab that with both hands, and tell your fear to take a running leap off a tall cliff, because having loved and lost is heaps better than having never loved at all.”
_______________
“Enjoy your day off, bitch,” Chloe says as we pull down the blinds and lock the diner up after another busy day.
“Don’t work too hard,” I singsong. I’m in a great mood because I get to sleep late in the morning and I have a full day off to myself.
A throat clearing interrupts our banter. “Is this a good or bad time?” Jackson asks, and the rich undertones in his voice send shivers dancing up my spine.
“Oh, this is a good time,” Chloe answers for me, and I spot a devilish glint in her eye. “A very good time.” She thrusts her hand out. “I’m Chloe. Van’s best friend. You must be Jackson.”
I glare at her. Okay, I’ve got zero game, but that doesn’t mean Chloe has to rub it in.
“You told your bestie about me.” He smirks, and I can’t decide which one of them I want to punch more.
“Didn’t you tell Sawyer?” I ask.
“Guilty. Guess that makes us even.” He flashes me that panty-melting smile, and my lace thong evaporates from my body. Like poof, and it’s gone.
“Oh fuck,” Chloe murmurs, totally getting it now.
“Yep,” I reply, not removing my eyes from Jackson.
“You’re fucked, girl,” she adds, her eyes shamelessly raking over every inch of Jackson’s semi-naked torso. He’s in shorts and sneakers again, and damn, if that isn’t such a good look on him.
“Not yet she isn’t,” Jackson purrs, “but if she keeps looking at me like that, I’ll have my cock buried balls deep inside her before we’ve even gotten upstairs.”
JACKSON Page 4
