Is It Wrong to Try to Pick Up Girls in a Dungeon? On the Side: Sword Oratoria, Vol. 4

by Fujino Omori, Kiyotaka Haimura

  Raul had always thought her a far superior adventurer to himself. Calm, cool, and collected, with guts like iron, and always available for a little advice and encouragement, even now—it was easy to see why she’d been put in charge while the first-tiers were away.

  “But…but last time one of those new species almost killed me! What if…What if this time they finish the job? Aki…If I don’t come back, would you…send the money I’ve been saving in my room to my family back home…?”

  “Not this again!”

  Having been inducted into the familia at around the same ages, Raul and Aki made up what was known as the “second team,” which supported and sustained Aiz and the others in the main party. They’d been called upon their fair share of times to accompany the first-tiers on whatever venture they were planning.

  Overhearing their conversation, another girl in the tent timidly raised her hand.

  “Is…Is it really so dangerous down there? Past the fifty-first floor?”

  Leene raised the question, her braided pigtails dangling behind her.

  Her inquiry sparked another series of tremors all across Raul’s body.

  “It doesn’t matter how many lives you have, it’s never enough,” he replied, voice trembling. “Descending into the fifty-second floor is like descending into hell itself. Everything you thought you knew about the Dungeon is rendered completely moot.”

  There was gravitas in his voice that plunged the entire tent into silence.

  Every one of the lower-ranking members had shut their mouths. Even Aki had zipped her lips, saying nothing.

  It was so quiet, you could hear someone gulping toward the back.

  “—Raul, you shouldn’t scare them like that. It’s your duty as their superior to encourage, not start a panic.”

  “M-Miss Riveria! I’m…I’m sorry…”

  The high elf pushed open the flap of the tent before entering.

  Every elf in the tent snapped to attention as the vice-captain’s eyes scanned the room. Raul just hung his head apologetically.

  “You have nothing to fear, I assure you. Even if one of those new species were to appear, you’ll be able to pick them off from afar before they can draw near. Or are you saying you won’t be able to handle that?” she asked provokingly, staff in her hand and jade-colored hair swaying. “All you need do is wait patiently for us to return. In fact, you should be excited, I would think. We’ll be bringing back souvenirs from the fifty-ninth floor, after all,” she added as a playful aside quite removed from her usual demeanor.

  The tent was silent for another moment. Then its occupants burst into laughter.

  “We’ll be looking forward to it, Miss Riveria!”

  “Yeah! Bring me back a giant bone, please!”

  “You nitwit! How are they gonna carry that back?”

  The bustle returned to the tent in an instant. Riveria just smiled at the boisterous group.

  It appeared the vice-captain had come specifically to ease the tensions of her fellow colleagues. She’d known the unease would be even greater than normal among the lower-ranking members, what with the Irregulars looming over their heads—the caterpillar monsters they’d encountered on the last expedition especially.

  No doubt Finn and Gareth were also making their rounds, offering advice and calming words to the other members and younger first-tiers.

  At least that was what Raul presumed, and considering how long he’d known the trio, he was probably correct.

  Next to him, Aki nodded, probably thinking the same exact thing.

  And then there’s me…Raul thought. He’d never be able to do something like that.

  He had no backbone. No ambition. But even as that unshakable sense of inferiority permeated his very being, as he looked up at Riveria, something changed. He could be like that. He would be like that. Like the great leaders of their familia.

  Curling his hand into a little fist, he mouthed a silent “I can do it.”

  Then he rose to his feet with a sudden burst of energy. “We’re starting a card tournament to celebrate the eve of the raid! Everyone, place your bets—you might go home with the jackpot!”

  Taking advantage of Riveria’s encouragement, he took control with a surefire strategy—no one could resist a bit of morale-boosting gambling.

  And it worked. All around him came cries of affirmation as his fellow colleagues latched on to the idea.

  “Don’t get carried away!”

  “Nngah!”

  The high elf’s staff came down sharply on the crown of the misguided youth’s head.

  “I-I’m sorry!” The pathetic apology was followed by peals of laughter.

  “…”

  Bete was glaring at the scenery in silence.

  He was standing along the western edge of the large, flat boulder that formed the foundation of their campsite. Standing alone, perpendicular to the cliff face, he gazed at the landscape below.

  Reflected in those amber eyes was the mighty opening in the Dungeon’s western wall.

  “If you’re here to gimme a pep talk, don’t even bother,” he suddenly spoke upon sensing the nearing presence behind him; he didn’t even turn around.

  Finn’s small shoulders hunched slightly in the ceiling’s dim light.

  The young werewolf could already sense the prum’s intentions, cutting him off before he could think of offering him a word of advice or encouragement.

  “What are you looking at?”

  “You can’t tell? Where we’re headin’ tomorrow—the nest of those filthy, disgusting monsters.”

  Bete continued to stare at the passageway leading to the fifty-first floor, not even glancing his way, so Finn changed his line of questioning.

  “Where have you been looking these past six days?”

  —Bete’s fist clenched with an almost audible choke.

  Six days ago. The day of the incident on the ninth floor.

  It was the back of that boy, the boy who’d overcome adventure, that was seared into Bete’s amber eyes.

  Both his fists were clenched. A fierce light bloomed in his gaze, directed at that opening.

  “I wanna be on the front line tomorrow, Finn.”

  What with his quick speed, Bete was usually placed on the midline as a sort of shortstop.

  The front line was reserved for Aiz and Tiona. Bete’s request meant one of them would have to switch.

  “I wanna be able to let loose. I wanna plow through them with everything I’ve got and not have to hold back and lead the way. And if any of those new species or that creature-lady shows up? Hah! I’ll kill ’em. I’ll kill ’em all!” He followed up with an almost bestial laugh.

  Finn just nodded. “All right.”

  They stood there, the two of them, gazing off into the eternal blackness of that looming passage.

  That great tunnel to the unknown was quiet, like the calm before the storm.

  “…”

  Aiz glanced about at her companions and fellow familia members, before returning her gaze to Tsubaki in front of her.

  “It’s not that you’ve gotten any weaker, per se. You’ve just got more to protect now. And you don’t like bein’ protected yerself,” Tsubaki continued with a smile, finally putting down her portable furnace and whetstone as she finished up her maintenance work.

  Aiz took the proffered sword from the smith.

  “…”

  She looked down at her hands, then at the newly sharpened blade and its restored luster.

  Then, silently, she slid the gleaming silver sword back into its scabbard.

  There was a mighty roar.

  The death cry of a monster in the darkness reverberated loud enough to split eardrums. Then came the sound of fresh meat being torn and ravaged, followed by cries of pain that were just as quickly cut off.

  Cries, then silence. Cries, then silence.

  Amid the unsettlingly frequent monsters’ screams, all that was left was the countless bluish-purple crystals shedding
their soft light in the darkness.

  A slender set of fingers reached out to pluck one such crystal from the clumps of ash, and a pair of jaws closed around it with a crunch.

  “What are you doing?” demanded a sudden voice in the darkness.

  It had an eerie, disquieting tone, as though multiple voices had been layered on top of one another—at times male, at other times female. The woman it was directed at turned with a flick of her bloodred hair.

  “Exactly what it looks like I’m doing: eating,” Levis responded coldly, her green eyes turning toward the visitor.

  They were occupying an unknown room in the Dungeon, with naught but a single passage offering them entrance. The phosphorescent light emanating from the walls was anemic at best, and everything was masked in boundless shadow.

  A sea of ash coated the ground beneath their feet.

  Monsters’ carcasses. A multitude of them. The remains of unlucky beasts, magic stones stolen from their bodies and their bones turned to mountains of ash, piled on top of one another. They’d been captured, then slaughtered, and their executioner was currently grasping one of the bluish-purple crystals before nonchalantly popping it into her mouth.

  Crunch, crunch, crunch. The sound was dreadfully unappetizing as she ground the stone between her teeth.

  The monsters’ cores had become her meal.

  Her visitor—a mysterious hooded figure in a bluish-purple robe and strangely patterned mask—lashed out in irritation at the spectacle.

  “The Sword Princess and her friends have already begun their descent. Why have you not done anything?”

  “You know as well as anyone that this body consumes dreadful amounts of energy,” Levis replied languidly to her companion’s criticism.

  “…”

  She turned her back on the visitor, slender limbs and ample chest on display beneath tattered battle clothes that appeared to have been stolen off the corpse of a dead adventurer.

  The masked figure gazed in silence at the collection of dragons impaled atop greatswords from their backs to their stomachs, littering the environs like test specimens. They writhed in agony, unable to escape the deeply buried blades.

  Levis thrust a hand into the bodies of the monsters still in captivity, ignoring their screams and freeing them of their magic stones as blood gushed from their wounds.

  “I was gravely injured thanks to Aria and her friends. I need to rest,” she finally added, implying that fighting against Aiz now would only lead to defeat. “I consumed a great deal of energy up on the twenty-fourth floor. These monsters will help me recover my strength.” As a human-monster hybrid and an enhanced species, she had the ability to consume other monsters’ magic stones.

  The callous creature-woman returned to her meal of bluish-purple crystals.

  “Do what you will. But if problems should arise…”

  “They’re strong, those brats. They’ll make it to the fifty-ninth floor where that awaits, mark my words…even if we have to bring Aria’s corpse there ourselves.”

  The masked figure’s tongue hissed in response. “You intend to defy Enyo?”

  Levis spun around, her eyes narrowed. “Use me all you want, I don’t care. But in return, I shall do as I please.”

  “You…!”

  “Do let Enyo know, as well, would you? That I may need to act on my own from time to time.” She turned her back on the hooded figure and made her way toward the center of the room. “We’re done here. Leave me.”

  Drip, drip. Droplets of blood landed at the hooded figure’s feet as though punctuating Levis’s words.

  The heads of viola flowers writhed atop the ceiling, monsters ensnared in their countless tentacles.

  Vines squeezed around one of the pitiful offerings, oozing blood, before dropping it at Levis’s feet with a dull thud. Then she began to feast, both on the monsters caught in her violas and the dragons impaled atop her weapons.

  The masked figure turned away from the ghastly meal, bluish-purple robe trembling in disgust as the screams began anew.

  From the midst of the camp and its many tents enshrouded in the dim phosphorescence of the Dungeon’s walls, the lid of an elven pocket watch, emblazoned with a leaf and tree, closed with a snap.

  The eyes of a great many adventurers went to their weapons.

  Swords, wands, double-bladed edges, scimitars, silver boots, staves, axes, spears.

  As the Trickster flag smiled comically over the headquarters of the camp once more, a certain prum captain opened his mouth.

  “We leave…now!” The quiet order issued from between his lips, and soon Loki Familia’s elite party, led by Finn, was off, leaving the camp.

  Accompanied by the shouts of their comrades and High Smiths who would stay to guard the base, they made their way down the flat rock face and toward the great forest of ash.

  Their party totaled thirteen—seven fighters, five supporters, and one smith.

  Bete and Tiona would form the front line while Aiz, Tione, and Finn would cover the middle.

  Behind them in the rear guard were Riveria and Gareth. Despite a few alterations to the lineup, it was still Loki Familia’s first-tiers’ golden formation. Two supporters had been added to every line, carrying extra weapons and items. Tsubaki, who’d be looking after everyone’s weapons, was positioned along the midline with Finn.

  The whole lot of them, including supporters loaded down with giant backpacks that contained oversize weapons and shields, made their way to the giant opening in the Dungeon’s western wall.

  “How come I have to be with Bete, huh?” Tiona grumbled, giant Durandal sword atop her shoulder and supporters nervously silent next to her.

  “Ah, shut it, ya stupid Amazon,” Bete snapped with his own disgruntled frown, not even looking at her. With Frosvirt on his feet, new twin Durandal blades—Dual Roland—strapped to his waist, and over ten magic daggers filling both leg holsters, he was equipped from head to toe.

  “Geez, you guys are sure a lively bunch at all hours, aren’t ya!” Tsubaki laughed at the two bickering attackers as she placed her hand on the hilt of her tachi.

  “I’m afraid it’s not our best side…” Finn wryly responded from next to her.

  “Lefiya, your breathing is awfully shallow. Loosen up a bit, all right?”

  “R-right, Lady Riveria!” Lefiya responded, doing as the high elf next to her in the rear guard instructed.

  On the outside, Riveria appeared every bit the calm, composed high elf she normally was, but the glint in her single opened, jade-colored eye seemed to remind Lefiya not to forget her “unshakable tree.”

  “Sure, you don’t need to be actin’ like those clowns at the front, but you do still need to be ready as a primed cannon, so to speak. As a magic user, ye’ve gotta have nerves o’ steel. To be ready for action when the time comes. You, too, Raul!” Gareth added with a stroke of his beard from behind the two elves, his loud voice directed toward Raul’s slinking back on the midline.

  “M-me?!”

  They truly never changed, all of them. Among the usual banter of their fellow first-tiers, the long-haired Amazon and the golden-haired, golden-eyed swordswoman occupying the party’s midline turned back toward Lefiya. Tione shot her a wink without breaking step, and even Aiz flashed her a small smile.

  Lefiya responded instinctively with her own smile and a happy nod, readjusting the cylindrical pack on her back and devoting herself to the party’s progress. The magic stone atop her staff emitted a soft pale-blue light.

  “That’s enough idle chatter. Focus on preparing for the battle ahead,” Finn instructed as the group emerged from the ashen forest in front of the large opening.

  The passageway connecting the fiftieth and fifty-first floors slanted sharply just inside the gaping hole in the western wall. Staring down what could almost be described as a cliff face, they could already make out the shapes of monsters in the darkness below.

  Everyone quietly readied their weapons. Then Finn gave the o
rder, long spear in his hand.

  “—Bete. Tiona. You’re up.”

  And they were off.

  The ferocious duo of werewolf and Amazon went speeding down the slope.

  The rest soon followed, and with that, their attack on the unexplored depths had begun.

  In the blink of an eye, Bete’s silver boots and Tiona’s greatsword took care of the monsters that had spawned just outside the safety point.

  “We’ll continue down the main route as planned! Don’t let any of those new species get close!”

  The Dungeon’s layout took a turn for the unusual between the fifty-first and fifty-seventh floors—in the so-called deep levels. The flat planes that made up the ceilings and walls were drawn in a deep graphite color, stretching out between rooms in an intricate series of halls and passages.

  It wasn’t the architecture itself that differed so greatly from the upper levels at the start of their journey, it was the sheer scale of it all. The floors down here were in a league all their own, spreading out in front of the racing party as they heeded Finn’s every command.

  They couldn’t afford to fight unnecessary battles or waste items.

  They sped through the Dungeon with nothing but the unknown, the fifty-ninth floor, in their sights.

  “They’re coming from the passage up ahead.”

  “Front line, keep moving! Aiz, Tione, they’re yours!”

  “Roger that!”

  Aiz’s honed swordswoman’s intuition had already anticipated the monsters spawning up ahead as Finn called out.

  Just as Aiz had predicted, a fissure formed on both sides of the passage as the front line passed by, bursting open to reveal a swarm of black rhinos. Not wasting a moment, Tione’s twin Kukri knives and Aiz’s Desperate made quick work of the spawned rhinoceros monsters.

  “There’s a few strays back here, gents!” Gareth shouted from the back of the group as he dismantled the incoming monsters with his ax.

  The Dungeon roared around them. Monsters came at them from all sides in an effort to hinder their progress.