Star-Crossed Secrets

by Kali Brixton

  Her face pinches. “So, were you even going to tell me?”

  Tell her the truth. At least give her that much.

  But I can’t. It won’t change anything. Digging down deep within my DNA, I extract the genes that make my father so heinous most of the time and channel that. “That’s the thing, Ev. You’re not my girlfriend. If I want to move across the world, I don’t need permission from you.”

  “I didn’t say you did. I just...” I expected anger, but what I see now on her beautiful face is pure embarrassment. “Is this because I told you I love you?”

  Yes. Because I can’t risk you. “Love wasn’t what we agreed to, Everleigh.”

  “I know it wasn’t, but I can’t help how I feel. I’m not trying to pressure you into something you’re not ready for or anything… I just don’t understand why you wouldn’t tell me about this,” her voice trembles at the end, pain seeping through.

  I wish that’s all the pain I have to cause her, but I need her to hate me to make a clean break from this. “Because my fiancée’s father is paying for my law school.”

  “Your fiancée.” Those words sound like a bitter taste in her mouth. You’re not alone on that one, Ev.

  I straighten my shoulders back, attempting to exude an air of detachment. “I had a chat with my father, and he reminded me I have a role to fulfill in my family.”

  There’s a flicker in those emerald orbs. “So did Lia. And you see what it did to her, trying to please him.”

  I’m gonna have to kick my own ass after this. “The family disowned Lia because she doesn’t understand what real loyalty is.”

  Fire blazes in her eyes now. “How can you say something like that? Knowing what she went through?”

  For a split second, I feel my resolve buckling. But I have to stay the course. It’s the only way. “It’s easy. I open up my mouth and let the words fall out.” I scoff at her. “Just because it’s an ugly truth doesn’t make it any less true.”

  A fire has now spread from her eyes and is working down into her expression. “What the hell has gotten into you?”

  “We’ve been living in a fantasy for the past four months, Ev. It’s time to grow up.”

  Her stance is tense. “So, by growing up, you mean turning into a giant asshole like your father?”

  I narrow my eyes at her. “My family’s none of your concern.”

  “Just like your sister wasn’t to you.” She crosses her arms. “Who do you think wiped her tears away and told her everything would be okay when your family threw her away?”

  “Well, I guess you can pat yourself on the back for being loyal to a traitor,” I buy into this role, committing to the only way I’ll be able to sell it.

  “She’s like a sister to me. That’s not loyalty, Luca—that’s love.”

  “Well, then y’all will have something in common to talk about when I’m gone.” I turn back toward where I have some shirts folded and resume packing as she stands there in amazement.

  “Is that really how you feel about everything?”

  I ignore her question, hoping she’ll take the hint.

  No such luck.

  I turn to find her in my path between the dresser and the bed. “Luca, look at me.” When I make the dick move to go around her, she grabs my bicep. “Look at me!”

  I do and immediately realize my mistake.

  She searches my eyes, hoping to find a shred of the man who gave all of himself to her two weeks ago. “I want you to be completely honest with me right now… Why did you sleep with me that first time?”

  I stare at her, remembering exactly what I said, meaning every word to my bone marrow.

  “If I was just some random ass to tap, why did you tell me it meant something to you when it didn’t?”

  You have to follow through. A sardonic laugh bubbles up. “Because all you girls want to hear the same things. How you’re special, how you mean something…” I roll my eyes and level a cocksure grin toward her, the kind she hates on guys who are full of themselves. “Besides, we both got what we wanted. You wanted a good dicking, and I wanted to wet mine in that untouched pu—”

  My head jerks to the side, burning where she just slapped the hell out of me. That’s going to leave a noticeable mark, unlike the ones I just left on her bruised ego and fragile heart. She brings her face close to mine, unshed tears floating in her eyes. I want to reach out and wipe them away, promising to destroy the monster that caused them. But I can’t because that monster is me.

  “Now you can go fuck yourself because this easy piece of ass is done.” The scent of coconut and pineapple floats by me, a smell I’ve grown to love over the last few months, as she takes long strides across the apartment. With the slam of the front door, she’s gone.

  I perch my arms on my dresser edge, avoiding the mirror above it at all costs. Every cell in my body screams with agony to go follow her, to tell her the truth.

  But I can’t because I have to protect my family.

  I have to protect her.

  I emerge from the shower later that night after trying to wipe the grime of today off of me. I’m a complete and utter asshole and I deserve to have my ass beaten. Every time I think about that hurt in her eyes, it makes me want to gouge out my own.

  As if my guilt wasn’t bad enough already, the gift she brought me sits on the edge of the bed where I set it earlier, taunting me. I didn’t even open it or thank her for her thoughtfulness. I place it on the dresser and go heave my sorry ass in the bed, hoping to fall asleep and forget about what happened for a few hours. Only my conscience won’t let me off the hook that easily.

  I click on my lamp and walk to the dresser. The last thing she ever got me is staring back at me, beckoning me to tear it open. After a few moments of debate, wanting to know versus wanting to preserve the paper her fingers folded and caressed into place, I lose the battle and grab the package.

  Under the black paper and red bow, a nod to our UGA colors, is a simple white box. I draw a sharp breath as I ease it open and peel back several layers of black and red tissue paper. A blue Emory Law t-shirt with gold lettering sits on top of a gray Emory Law sweatshirt. Two pieces of what was supposed to be my future for the next three years. Beneath that, wrappers of all colors and sizes—my favorite types of candy and gum, carefully curated and packaged—surround a small wooden box.

  I set the rest aside and turn the box over and over in my hand, wondering what could be inside. Sliding the wooden slab on top off, I retrieve the round object inside.

  Flicking the top open, a needle shakes, pointing north as the words etched into the top cover speak to me.

  For all the journeys yet to begin.

  My chest tightens at her gifts, knowing each one required a lot of time and thought. All from a girl I just insulted and pushed out of my life.

  Luca Giordano, you are fucking scum.

  I pack the compass carefully back into its box and go to set it back with the rest when my name in Ev’s handwriting appears amongst the packages of the different sweets.

  Shaking the letter loose, I know that whatever’s written here is going to rip my heart in two. Yet, my fingers take on a mind of their own, my mind wanting to soak up any more words from her it can. The paper unfolds and her beautiful handwriting enhances the stationery, making it more special than any embellishment or adornment ever could.

  Luca,

  I know this next step is full of uncertainty, requiring a lot of sacrifices and hard work. But as I already told you, you’re meant for this. These next three years are just as much for the people you will serve as it is for you. When you find yourself lost and unsure, look at this…

  This compass isn’t a guide. It simply shows you which way you’re already going—the planned path. Only you have the power to decide if that’s not the right way for yourself and to change direction. If you ever lose your way, just look at this compass and know you have the power to explore another way, until you find the path best suited for you.
>
  When you finally graduate, you’ll be in charge of steering many people who come to you for help. Paths are not always one-size-fits-all, so choose the paths that are the best for all involved, no matter which direction others try to herd you into.

  Just know that with every step you take, I’ll always be cheering you on, believing in the true destiny you were created to fulfill.

  And no matter what the future brings, you’ll always have a home in my heart.

  Love always,

  Evergreen

  PS Think we can work on a new nickname for me?

  I reread her words, again and again, committing each loop and dot to memory. A stray tear falls, smearing the ink on the page. Grabbing a tissue off the nightstand, I try to blot it as best as I can, not wanting to lose a single piece of this.

  I lean back on my bed, my head a mess from this precious gift. As all the things I wish I would have or could have said race across my mind, one question pushes itself to the forefront…

  What the hell have I done?

  11

  Luca

  Six Years Later

  “Hell no, Kieran. I am not doing that.”

  My sister Lia, whom I had recently reconnected with, had asked me to be the godfather of my niece, Aliana. I didn’t expect that in a million years, especially since we had gone nearly eight years without speaking to one another. Yet, as much as I had already failed as a brother, it was the same measure my sister gave me in grace and forgiveness.

  Forgiveness that would probably be short-lived because I’m currently standing outside the church, taking a work call AKA a panicked SOS from Kieran, five minutes after the ceremony was supposed to begin.

  “Everleigh’s at Aliana’s baptism right now.”

  I pinch the bridge of my nose. “Where the fuck do you think I am exactly?”

  There’s a pause. “Oh, shit. That’s right.” And another. “Dude, you’re late.”

  My patience dwindling quickly, I grit out, “Because I got a text from you saying it was life or death, you dumbass!”

  “That’s not…entirely untrue.”

  Jesus, Joseph, and Mary. “Just partially,” I huff.

  “Got you to call, didn’t I?” I can practically see the shit-eating grin on his face right now.

  Asshole. “Why do you want me to be the one to drop that bomb on her?”

  “Because I’m literally on my way to an assignment and I don’t know when I’m going to be back,” I say nothing for a moment, hoping he’ll realize how stupid his request is. Finally, a long exhale escapes. “Mom’s going to need someone when this all comes out. She told me not to tell Ev when I told her what I’d heard, but I don’t want her dealing with this alone.” For a moment, that mama’s boy part of his heart shines through. Where Ev has always been closer to her dad, Kieran has always had a special bond with his mom, Kyleigh. “I can’t tell Ev something like this on the phone. She deserves to have someone tell her face to face.”

  I’ll still have to see the proof of what he just told me about his father with my own two eyes before I believe it myself. There’s no way Rian Greene is involved in what Kieran told me a few moments ago. No way in this world. “You’re aware that your sister despises me and would sooner see my carcass bleeding out on the side of the road than to talk to me, right?”

  “What’s the deal with that, anyway? I thought y’all had finally come to a cease-fire last semester at UGA?”

  We did until I shit all over what we had. “That was before I fucked things up with Mystery Girl.”

  “Oh, yeah…” There’s a rustle against the phone. “First your sister, then Mystery Girl? You must have a knack for pissing off people Ev cares about.” Kieran, even with his detective skills and know-how, still hasn’t caught on to the fact that Ev and Mystery Girl are one and the same, so I’ve kept that secret buried.

  I already lost the girl I love. Losing my best friend would send me over the edge, even though he’d totally disown me if he knew what had happened between Ev and me before I moved to Italy. “Something like that.”

  “Ah, fuck. There’s my CO for the assignment. I’ve gotta go.” He takes another pregnant pause. “Can I count on you, Luca?”

  He hardly ever uses my name, so I know this is important to him—even though it’s going to make Everleigh hate me that much more. “What are friends for?”

  “I owe you, man.”

  I shake my head, feeling the weight of the burden he just placed upon my shoulders.

  More than you know, K.

  We end the call and I rush into the building, hoping they’re still chatting while they wait. Ornate details are carved into the walls and the pillars, and the floor shines like a new penny. I’ve been to this church many times, but its beauty always leaves me in awe. The church door creaks loudly as it opens into the massive sanctuary. My steps are quick as I make my way down the center aisle, hoping no one will notice my tardiness. If the dead silence and all the pairs of eyes that are currently boring holes into my body right now are any indication, though, I didn’t get away with anything.

  I slow my pace to a normal stroll, trying to avoid my father’s angry eyes, my sister’s frustrated ones, and the watchful gaze of my future father-in-law, Antonio. The only set of eyes not fixated on me as I approach the altar is Everleigh’s, who’s currently rocking my niece, cooing in hushed tones to her.

  My chest grows tighter as I get closer. I slow to a stop just short of where I’m supposed to be standing, overwhelmed by the sight of Ev holding her. The winter sunlight shines brightly through the stained glass behind us, casting an ethereal glow on them both. In the few times I had seen them around each other, I’d never seen Everleigh actually holding little Ana. Her beautiful black hair is pulled to the side in a low bun, a light purple knee-length dress that flares out from her hips hugs her curvy figure. The square neckline covers any hint of cleavage, but her breasts are showcased tastefully. She looks so natural, holding a baby like that—like it’s something she’s meant to do many times over.

  Something I’ve dreamed several times about with babies of our own.

  A sharp cough breaks me out of my stupor, and I nearly trip over my feet as I hurry to take my place beside her. Landry, my sister’s husband, looks almost amused across the altar as he brings down the hand he used to cover his mouth. Lia’s impatient gaze though has turned melancholy as she looks our way. Clearing my throat, my whispered apologies to the priest are met with a nod as he begins the ceremony.

  Father Rodriguez goes through the sacred duties of both the parents and godparents in raising a child in the Catholic faith. I should pay attention to him or to the little girl who’s named for our dear grandmother. Instead, I keep stealing glances at the woman who cradles Aliana so carefully while the priest officiates. A woman who subtly elbows me when I miss my cue to speak because I’m too busy staring at her like a creeper. Thankfully though, where I’m standing slightly behind her and to the side, I hopefully just look like an extremely proud uncle.

  Who knew a newborn could be such a good wing woman?

  As Everleigh holds Aliana while the priest pours holy water over her head, blessing her, the exposed lower half of Ev’s arm under the baby gets a few dribbles on it. She doesn’t move to wipe it off, though, as Aliana’s tiny fingers are wrapped around Ev’s finger. When she squirms, Ev smooths her thumb over the little digits clinging to her, a move that seems to settle Ana as she watches Ev’s face between flinches.

  She’ll be such an amazing mother.

  Much like her brother, Ev’s patience can wear thin with some people quickly, but with kids? Her soft spot for them is why she was often used at Hope House back in the day to entertain and soothe the little ones, giving the moms seeking refuge there a much-needed break.

  My heart clenches at how perfect this moment is, with one major caveat.

  This should have been ours.

  A thought crosses my mind, one that’s already been set in motion and hopef
ully won’t result in disaster. Even though my grand plan is in its early stages, maybe it still can be…

  Everleigh

  “Ev, it’s just one dance,” Luca asks for the third time, obviously missing the fact that one or a million doesn’t matter. I’m still not dancing with the dickhead.

  “Then, you won’t be missing out on much,” I reply, never taking my eyes from the dance floor.

  He edges closer to my side, trying to make it seem like we’re having a pleasant conversation. He’ll have to find someone else to have one of those. “Please? We’re her godparents. It’s customary.”

  I get ready to call him on his bullshit, which I’m pretty sure he just made that up until the sight of my best friend hugging a man in a familiar fedora catches my attention. “Sorry,” I say, downing my last sip of punch. “Dance card just got filled up.”

  “By who?” He asks as I toss the empty plastic cup into the trash can nearby.

  I straighten my dress and wipe away the stray crumbs that fell from my piece of cake. “A handsome Italian who actually knows his way around the dance floor.”

  With my last remarks, I set off towards the pair, leaving Luca in my dust. The nerve of him asking me to dance, like we should just forget the past and be friends. Pfft. I’d sooner roll in the mud with a pig than to let that asshole put his arms around me again. Besides, I figured his fiancée would have been here, but I haven’t noticed anyone out of the ordinary. That is all except Lia’s former father-in-law and his daughter Gia, who somehow ended up being the only one in the family that doesn’t reek of deception and evil. I’d have to ask her later about that, though. For now, I have a dance partner to snag.

  “…my girl, Everleigh? All grown up? Married? Kids?” The warmth of Papi Dean’s familiar voice wraps around me like a hug as I approach Lia and her grandfather from behind. Next to my own dad, he’s a man that all men should strive to be. Kind, loving, gentle, humble… There’s hardly a positive adjective I can think of that doesn’t fit him to a T.