Chaos

by Taylor Longford

  That might sound harsh but I wasn't even taking anything seriously anymore. I had to be dreaming. I was definitely going to wake up any minute now. I always wake up when my dreams get to the point where they're just too ridiculous to believe.

  "You're wrong," he gritted through his clenched teeth. "But it doesn't make any difference. This is the only way out. And I have no choice but to take it."

  "No choice?"

  "Don't you see?" he roared like I still didn't get it. "It's my fault you're here, Torrie. Vilschka captured you so she could get to me."

  "That's not true," I argued, and pointed toward the portal door. "She captured me because she was trying to bring some stupid statue to life."

  "That's right," he agreed in a low voice, and held my gaze. "Well, all except for the stupid part."

  It took me a few seconds to realize what he was saying. Then I swallowed hard and shook my head. And I'd thought this dream couldn't get any crazier. "No. No. That's not possible. You…you were the statue?"

  "Aye," he sighed, sounding completely beaten.

  "So…um, why didn't you mention this before?"

  "I was trying to hide the truth from you," he admitted. "We don't normally let humans know about our existence if we can help it. Not if there's any other way."

  "You were the statue," I repeated just to make sure I understood. "And…And you can turn to stone?"

  "Aye. But only with the help of direct sunlight."

  "Okay," I announced and looked upward in the approximate direction of heaven. "I'm officially freaked. You can wake me up now."

  And while I was having my private little meltdown, Chaos turned back to the harpy. "I go with you to make sure she's released safely," he growled.

  But Vilschka wasn't done hammering out the best deal. "Venom first," she insisted. "Venom first for proving good will."

  An ugly curse hissed past his lips. "Alright, but I carry the lass home."

  She eyed him greedily for a few seconds then jerked her head upward in agreement.

  I just stood with my back against the mine's damp wall, wondering when I was going to wake up. The way I saw it, I was long overdue. And as I watched, Chaos made a fist. From beneath his knuckles slid four wickedly sharp spikes I'd never seen before. "Where do you want it?" he asked roughly.

  The harpy slunk toward him. Yeah, you heard me right. She slunk! Well as much as a harpy can slink considering how ugly and bulky they are. I almost gagged when she wrapped her long fingers around his wrist and lifted it to her mouth. Her dark, pointy tongue flicked out and she licked his knuckles. It was so gross. It was obviously a harpy attempt an intimacy. And from the look on Chaos's face it was an epic fail.

  "Okay," I murmured faintly. "I think I'm gonna be sick now."

  Ignoring me like I wasn't even there, the harpy pointed to the side of her neck and Chaos sank his barbs into her jugular. I kept thinking things couldn't get weirder but I was wrong again. The harpy got this dreamy look on her face like she was mainlining. Like a freaking junkie. And when Chaos shoved her away about thirty seconds later, she had this stupid grin on her face.

  "Now we go," he commanded, sounding a little bit like the old Chaos. "Now we take Torrie home."

  "Cold outside," the harpy claimed, pointing at the clothing and smirking.

  Chaos gave her a resigned nod, his head hanging a little lower. But even though he looked beaten, his words were strong. "Free me," he gritted.

  The harpy released him so he could change into the jeans. Naturally, I averted my gaze, watching the harpy instead, pressing my lips together and even feeling a little sorry for him. And as Chaos tied a dark hoodie around his waist, Vilschka swiveled her head in my direction and gave me this triumphant look…like she'd beaten me somehow. Like she'd won and I'd lost. But I didn't know what she figured I'd lost if I was finally going to go free. And it was hard to believe after all the time I'd spent as a captive, but five minutes later I was on my way back home, carrying my backpack and wearing my jacket pulled over a hoodie that Chaos had made me wear.

  The frigid winter air whipped against my face as we traveled through the night toward the lights of Boulder and I was glad for both the hoodie and the jacket. Chaos carried me in his arms while the harpy trailed us by a few yards, her huge wings lifting and falling as she flew like a huge mechanical monster out of a steampunk movie. My heart wanted to feel sorry for Chaos because maybe they weren't working together after all, but my head kept telling me he was one of them.

  "So, are you guys like from a different planet?" I asked, hugging my arms for warmth and keeping my gaze on the lights ahead.

  "I told you I'm from England," he said shortly.

  "I thought maybe that was just a cover story."

  He gave his head an impatient jerk. "I never lied to you."

  "Yeah, right," I snapped. "What about the tarp?"

  "What about it?" he growled.

  "There wasn't a tarp," I insisted. "You covered me with your wings."

  "I never lied about anything important," he decided after a few moments of silence.

  "Whatever," I grunted and searched the ground below for familiar landmarks.

  "We're not aliens," Chaos said in a low voice. "Gargoyles and harpies are ancient breeds that evolved separately from humans and apparently died out over the last eight hundred years. My family and I are the last of our kind."

  "What about Vilschka?" I asked flippantly. "Is she the last of her kind?"

  "I damn well hope so," he muttered.

  Whatever. I kept trying to tell myself he was one of them and they were a team. But obviously there was a flaw in this theory. Because if they were going to let me go tonight, what was the point?

  And I couldn't help wondering about the food. Had Chaos really given me most of it while we were trapped in the mine or was Vilschka feeding him on the side when I wasn't looking? Finally, I noticed how gaunt he had become, his cheeks hollowed out beneath his high cheekbones. I'd just thought it was his lean good looks. But he was thinner than the first time I'd seen him.

  "It's been a long time since we ate," I muttered tentatively. "Aren't you hungry?"

  "Aye," he sighed. "I'm hungry."

  "But you always gave me most of the food."

  He nodded without speaking.

  "Why did you do that?"

  "So you wouldn't starve," he answered.

  "But…what about you?"

  "The harpy wouldn't have let me starve. When she figured out what was going on, she'd have given us more to eat."

  I fell silent while I thought about what he'd said. But I still wasn't sure I could trust him or believe him. It might have been different if he'd told me about the wings earlier, or if he'd told me he was the statue. But he'd kept all of that to himself and it was so hard to believe him now.

  "Where did the harpy pick you up?" he asked quietly, interrupting my thoughts.

  "Between my house and the library," I answered.

  "So Vilschka doesn't know exactly where you live?"

  "Maybe not," I answered, thinking that the harpy could have been watching me for a while before she abducted me so she might know.

  "Pick out a place for me to drop you off," he whispered. "Make it as far away from your home as possible while still close enough for you to get back there safely."

  Of course, that just made me even more confused about his motives. Seriously, it felt like my brain was going to explode from trying to figure things out. I slanted a quick glance his way. Blood was still trickling from his broken lip and his eye was a swollen purple mess.

  "Is there any chance I'll see you again?" I asked, mostly to fill the silence, at least that's what I told myself.

  "Why would you want to do that?" he asked with a cynical snort. "You got a thing for male harpies all of a sudden?"

  "I don't know," I answered awkwardly. "Old times sake. We…went through a lot together."

  He shook his head at me like I was the biggest lost cause to ever walk t
he face of the earth. "Nay, you won't see me again. I've promised the harpy my rune."

  "Your rune?"

  "My…tattoo." He tilted his head so I could see the blue symbol on his throat. "When a gargoyle gives up his rune, he's bound for life. To whoever he gives it to."

  "So it's like an oath? A vow?"

  "A really big vow."

  "Couldn't you break your vow?"

  "Nay," he answered in one short word.

  "So it's a matter of honor?"

  His brows knitted into a fierce frown as he glared at me. "It's a matter of instinct."

  "Instinct?" I echoed, feeling skeptical about the whole situation. "I don't understand. I don't understand any of this."

  "I've promised the harpy forever. In the end, that's all that matters."

  "Does that mean no contact with anyone else? No contact with your family?"

  "Nay."

  "But couldn't you—"

  "I have no choice!" he exploded, getting pissed all of a sudden.

  "Then why did you do it?" I demanded. "Why did you promise her your rune?"

  "Why do you think?" he growled.

  So I was supposed to believe that he'd done it for me. To protect me. But why would he waste his entire future on someone like me? "Then don't deliver," I snapped. "Don't give her your rune. After you drop me off, just get away from her."

  "If I didn't deliver, she'd just come after you again. And next time, she'd force me to mark her before she released you."

  I wasn't sure I believed any of that. "Maybe your family will find you," I suggested. "Maybe they can help."

  "By the time they find me, it'll be too late," he answered in a low voice as we flew over the city. "Where should I drop you off?"

  So I had him drop me off at the skate park, which was of course empty on a dark winter night. The harpy hovered about thirty feet above us while we stood in the middle of the pale, sculpted cement. But when Chaos didn't take off right away, it made me suspicious again. Until he actually left, I wouldn't know for sure if this was all just an elaborate hoax to wear me down.

  "Well, goodbye," I murmured, and backed away from him, stopping when I'd put about three feet between us. The wind gusted up and whipped his hair around his face. "Was your hair…always like that?" I asked across the space that separated us.

  "Always like what?" he asked, eyeing me with a dark steady stare.

  "The ends are tipped with white. Like they're bleached. I only just noticed it tonight."

  A slight ridge formed between his eyebrows but he seemed to know what I was talking about. "Sometimes that happens to our kind."

  "Why?" I asked. "What does it mean?"

  "It usually means that life is crap," he answered roughly and reached for me.

  One second he was standing three feet away. The next second he was leaning over me. I almost screamed as he gripped my arm just below my elbow. But his touch wasn't rough. It was gentle yet commanding as he pulled me close. "When you figure out what's going on," he whispered, his lips moving softly against my ear, "I don't want you to blame yourself."

  "Why would I do that?" I questioned him defiantly, trying to yank away from him.

  "Because I know you," he answered quietly, and released my arm, backing away from me while his gaze locked on me with an intense look of longing.

  "Chaos," I whispered, taking a step back toward him, drawn to him against my will, or at least my better judgment. I wasn't sure what I was going to say, but suddenly I felt as if I'd gotten everything wrong.

  "Fare thee well," he murmured, and looked upward where the harpy hovered over us like a bad feeling. Then he was gone, jumping into the sky and disappearing.

  I lifted my eyes and searched the black velvet sky but couldn't find any trace of Chaos and the harpy. So, apparently it was over. Really over. My life was my own again. I should have been jumping up and down with relief. So why did I feel so alone? "Fare thee well," I whispered into the nothingness of the empty sky.

  Moving as quickly as possible, I stumbled across town on stiff legs that weren't used to walking, making my way down unlit streets, keeping in the shadows of trees and buildings and looking over my shoulder, just in case they decided to come back. But as I traveled closer to home, an awful realization began to creep up on me; the realization that Chaos had been trying to protect me all along.

  "But he's still one of them," I murmured beneath my breath. So I didn't have to feel bad for him. At least, that's what I told myself as I jogged through an intersection and pushed him from my thoughts.

  Chapter Nine

  When I got to my house, I had two things on my mind. Food and a shower. In that order. So I was totally preoccupied when I stepped through the front door. And I wasn't prepared for the crapstorm that blew up in my face. My dad was home and he immediately started shouting.

  I don't know why I was surprised.

  "Where have you been?" he thundered while Mom crushed me in a tight hug.

  "Mom," I gasped, ignoring him. "Can't breathe."

  Samantha came rushing down the stairs and threw her arms around us and we had this big hug-triangle that lasted like at least five minutes.

  "Mom," I said as soon as I could pull in a breath. "Food. Food now. I'm starving."

  Tears filled my mother's eyes as she held me at arms' length and realized how much weight I'd lost. Then she hurried me into the kitchen and started opening cupboards. "What do you want?" she asked.

  "Anything," I moaned, grabbing a loaf of bread from the shelf and cramming a slice into my mouth.

  "Where have you been?" my father continued to yell while my mother whirled to face him.

  "I don't care where she's been," she screamed at him. "I'm just glad she's back."

  Even Samantha stuck up for me and suggested in her calm, polite way that my father's questions could wait.

  "Wait until when?" he roared.

  "Until I say so," Mom shouted back at him. "Look at her! Look how thin she is. Does she look like she's been off somewhere having fun?"

  Honestly. I don't know why they don't just get divorced like normal parents.

  "She looks like she finally decided to come home and have a decent meal!" he spat, and shot me a dark glare. "I just want to know where the hell she's been and who she's been with."

  As I shoveled food into my mouth, I tried to explain what had happened to me. How I'd been abducted by a winged creature that had kept me captive in a mine. But I didn't mention gargoyles, or Chaos. Don't ask me why. Maybe I was hoping he might turn up again one day and I didn't want my family to think he'd had anything to do with my disappearance, even though I knew it was pretty unlikely that he'd turn up, and even though he probably wouldn't want anything to do with me if he did.

  But the more I talked about my ordeal at the mine, the more my family didn't want to hear it. My mom thought I was losing my mind. My father thought I was lying. After he made me give up my piercing jewelry, he wheeled on Sam and jabbed a finger at her. "Until she starts telling the truth, she's your responsibility. She doesn't go anywhere without you or your mother."

  Samantha thought I was just trying to deal. "What really happened?" she asked when she got me alone in my bedroom.

  "You don't believe me?" I asked, feeling defeated. I dropped into the chair in front of my desk and swiveled it in her direction. "None of it?"

  "I'm trying to," she answered tactfully. She took a seat on the edge of my bed and pushed her long brown hair behind her shoulder. "I believe you think it happened. And whatever went down must have been pretty traumatic. It probably wouldn't hurt to get some therapy. So you weren't running away?"

  "No!"

  Her hazel eyes were thoughtful. "That's what I told everyone, Tor. But you took your toothbrush. It didn't look good. Especially to Dad. And the police."

  "I took my toothbrush just in case."

  "Just in case?" she echoed.

  I picked up a pencil and twirled it over my thumb. "Just in case I changed my mind
and decided to run away."

  She gave me a stern look. "You weren't with that Joey guy were you?"

  "No," I exploded, and slammed the pencil down on the desk. "I don't even like him."

  But she wasn't convinced. "He didn't force you to go with him, did he?"

  "I wasn't with Joey," I shouted. "I was abducted by a huge, flying, Moby Dick with wings!"

  Yeah, it was hopeless. I was never going to convince my family that I hadn't run away. But the good news is that my folks got me a cell phone right after I got back. My mother insisted and—for once—she got her way. I think she was really pissed at my dad that I didn't have a phone when I disappeared.

  And at school I was assigned to an intervention group, a bunch of do-gooders who were supposed to help me deal with my issues and make sure I didn't run away again, at least not during school hours. Right away, they advised me to cut ties with my old boyfriend, Joey. They figured he was a bad influence. Yeah, tell me something I don't know. But there was no sense in arguing, so I just rolled my eyes and agreed with them.

  The whole situation was really kinda tragic from my point of view. Because a month ago, I would have liked these people to be my friends. Real friends. Not interventionalists who were more interested in saving me than befriending me. At least Joey's interest was real. The minute he caught sight of me in the hall, he reacted. "Piggeee!" he squealed, opening his scrawny arms and rushing me. "What happened to you?"

  Before I could answer, he continued, barely taking a breath. And for the first time ever, his gaze lifted above my chest and latched on my face. He'd never been there before so I bet he was surprised to discover that my eyes were brown. "You look so beauuutiful. You've lost so much weight."

  "Thanks for noticing," I muttered, quickly opening my locker door to separate us. "I almost starved to death, but thanks."

  "I won't be able to call you piggy anymore," he announced with a slick grin that made me cringe.

  "Thank God for that," I answered in a low voice.

  "Now you're just gonna have to be my little piglet."

  I slammed my locker door and stomped away. "I'm not your piglet. I'm not your girlfriend. I'm not your anything, Joey. Get a clue. And next time you shave your head, get your armpits."