by Jae
Rachel groaned. “What if Ms. Santa Claus wants to stay in bed with Tyler’s mother for a bit longer?”
“Hmm, then Tyler’s mother will have to think of some incentive for the hardworking Ms. Santa Claus.”
Rachel rolled over and pulled Lillian into her arms. “Milk and cookies?”
Lillian trailed kisses over Rachel’s collarbone. “I was thinking more of—”
“It’s Christmas!” Tyler shouted from downstairs. The wooden floor squeaked as if he was doing pirouettes.
Groaning, Rachel leaned her head against Lillian’s. “Duty calls. Ho-ho-ho.” She got out of the warm and cozy bed and padded toward the bathroom. A few minutes later, she slipped into the red Santa Claus pants that Lillian had laid out the evening before.
Lillian wrapped her arms around Rachel from behind and kissed her neck while she helped her tie on the padded belly.
Finally, Rachel tucked the pant legs into her boots and straightened. “How do I look?”
“Very handsome. But you’re missing a beard.”
“I left it until last on purpose. Because then that thing can’t interfere while I’m doing this.” Rachel bent and kissed Lillian.
Lillian’s half-naked body pressed against the fake belly.
After a while, they breathlessly let go of each other. “Mmm. Female Santa Clauses are definitely better kissers than their male colleagues,” Lillian said and helped Rachel to put on the wig, the red coat, and the Santa hat.
Rachel pulled the beard into position and shouldered the sack of presents. “Is that so? Are you speaking from personal experience?”
Lillian shrugged and grinned. “Not really. I just can’t imagine anyone being a better kisser than you.”
Not even Maggie? Rachel scolded herself as soon as the thought entered her mind. Now you’re being ridiculous. You can’t seriously be jealous of a dead woman. Lillian had never compared her to Maggie in any way, but still Rachel was tormented by doubts. Was Lillian just seeing her as someone who could help her get over Maggie’s death?
She shook her head and gave herself a mental slap to the back of her head. “Can you distract Tyler? I don’t want him to see Santa Claus coming out of his mother’s bedroom.”
“Oh, that would be hard to explain,” Lillian said. “Tyler’s at an age where he won’t believe in Santa Claus for much longer anyway.” She sighed, wistful.
Rachel put down the heavy sack and hugged Lillian. “Hey, that’s okay.” She caressed Lillian’s cheek. “It doesn’t mean that he won’t love Christmas anymore. Like you said: The most important thing is that we can spend time with each other, not who delivers the presents.”
“You’re right.” Lillian nestled into her for a moment before she stepped back. “Okay, I’m going downstairs to distract him. Remember that the bottom step creaks.”
“I will.” When Lillian left, Rachel pressed her ear against the door and listened.
The bottom step creaked; then she heard Tyler talking to Lillian. Moments later, plates and cutlery clattered in the kitchen, a good indication that Lillian had convinced Tyler that opening gifts could wait until after breakfast.
This was her chance!
Quietly, Rachel opened the door and tiptoed down the stairs with the sack on her shoulder. She skipped the bottom step and hurried past the kitchen door. When she passed the mirror in the hallway, she stopped to study her reflection. She smoothed her beard down and tugged the Santa hat into the right position. Pretty good. She nodded at the Santa Claus in the mirror. Then she took a deep breath and called out, “Ho-ho-ho!”
“Mom! Did you hear that?” Tyler came running but stopped abruptly when he saw the figure in red standing in the hallway. He eyed the sack on Rachel’s shoulder as he inched closer. A few yards away, he stopped. When he tilted his head and looked at her with his blue eyes, he looked so much like Lillian that Rachel had to smile.
Quickly, she put on her serious Santa Claus expression.
Tyler narrowed his eyes. “Oh. It’s just Rachel.”
Rachel began to sweat beneath her beard. She felt Tyler’s disappointed gaze rest on her. What was she supposed to say now? “Umm, well, you see…” She looked at Lillian, who had stepped behind Tyler. It meant a lot to Lillian to have Tyler believe in Santa Claus for a little while longer. “Santa is really busy around Christmas and couldn’t get to all the houses last night. But he didn’t want you to have to wait for your gift, so he asked me to help him deliver the presents.”
For a few seconds, Tyler just stood staring at her through narrowed eyes. Then his face brightened. “That’s okay. He brought me the robot last year.” His eyes widened. “Did Santa lend you his sleigh and reindeer?” He ran to the front door and opened it.
“Umm, no.” Rachel walked up behind him and laid one hand on his shoulder. “He needs the sleigh to deliver presents to the children in Europe.”
“Oh.” Tyler closed the door and turned. His gaze fell on the sack in Rachel’s hand. “What did he give you for me?”
Rachel smiled. “Let’s go check.”
When Rachel headed toward the living room, Lillian put her arm through Rachel’s and whispered, “Thank you.”
The electric-blue spinning top rotated across the wood floor, accompanied by Tyler’s excited shouts and cheers. It crashed into the DVD rack and staggered to a stop. Tyler jumped up to start it again.
“Where did you find that?” Lillian asked from her position on the couch next to Rachel. “Tyler has wanted one of the Beyblades for years, but they’re very hard to get.”
Rachel shrugged. “The wonders of the Internet.” After she had searched five different toy stores without any success, she had found the sought-after toy in an online store. The Beyblade had cost twice the normal price, but seeing the joy on Tyler’s face made everything worth it.
“Don’t you want to unwrap your gift?” Rachel asked to stop Lillian from asking about the price of Tyler’s gift.
“Sure.” Lillian waved at Tyler, who was in charge of handing out the presents.
With one hand still clutching the Beyblade, Tyler searched for the right present beneath the Christmas tree and carried it over to Lillian.
“A book?” Lillian asked and slid her hands over the flat, rectangular present.
“Open it and find out.” Rachel could barely sit still while Lillian removed the tape and the wrapping paper.
Lillian lifted both brows when she saw the book’s cover. The picture had clearly been created by Tyler. Three stick figures, two with black and one with brown hair, were holding each other by the hand. Their cherry-red lips grinned broadly while they stood in front of a tiger cage that had been drawn a little too small. In his scrawly second-grade handwriting, Tyler had written above the egg-shaped heads: “Mom,” “Rachel,” and “me.”
Even though the picture was supposed to be for Lillian, it was the best Christmas gift for Rachel so far. It proved that Tyler saw her as part of the family.
Lillian opened the book and looked at the first page.
Rachel had spent the last few nights working on the book and adding photos. The first few pages showed pictures of their first Christmas together. In the first photo, Lillian stood in front of the Christmas tree, a cautious smile on her lips, as if she didn’t completely trust the person who had taken the photo. Back then, they’d been strangers celebrating Christmas together.
The next pages showed Tyler on a red sled and a snow-covered Rachel, who had lost a snowball fight against Tyler and Lillian.
Rachel had also put the menu from their first date in January on one of the pages, even though Lillian had refused to call it a date back then.
Three photos had been taken in March, when Lillian had taken the day off so Rachel wouldn’t be alone on the first anniversary of her mom’s death.
The book also held photos of barbeques, birthday parties, and a visit to the zoo. Other pages revealed tickets to the first animated movie they had seen together and tickets from their tr
ip to the amusement park last summer.
Lillian thumbed through the pages. Every now and then, she touched one of the photos with a fingertip or trailed her fingers over an object in the book, as if reminiscing about the milestones of their relationship. Finally, she leaned toward Rachel, smiled, and pressed a kiss to her cheek. “You’re such a romantic.”
“Who, me?” Grinning, Rachel tapped her own chest.
“Yes,” Lillian kissed her cheek again, “you. It’s a wonderful gift. Thank you so much.” She caressed the book with both hands.
“I helped, Mom,” Tyler said.
“I saw. You did a great job.”
“There’s more,” Rachel said. She opened the book to the last page, where she had taped an envelope with Lillian’s name on it.
Lillian raised one eyebrow.
Rachel gave her an encouraging nod.
Gently, Lillian opened the envelope and slid out a folded piece of paper. She opened it and started to read. “A weekend for three at Moonstone Beach?” She looked at Rachel as if she didn’t know what to say.
“An old friend of mine owns a vineyard about an hour from Moonstone Beach, and she says it’s very romantic,” Rachel said. “Tyler can search for moonstones and watch the seals. And we can take long walks at the beach. You said spending time together is the most important thing to you. So, what do you say?”
“It’s…” Lillian licked her lips. “It’s a wonderful idea. You are wonderful.” She kissed Rachel again, this time on the lips. She pulled back and made a face. “I think you can take this off.” She tugged on Rachel’s beard.
Rachel didn’t have to be told twice. She took off the beard and the wig and rubbed her cheeks. “So we’ll be driving up to Moonstone Beach?”
Lillian nodded. “We could go during Tyler’s spring break, when it’s a little warmer.”
Rachel grinned. It would be their first vacation together. Maybe she had been too impatient and hadn’t given Lillian enough time. In the future, she would try to be content with little signs that Lillian was committed to their relationship.
“Here.” Lillian handed her a small box with a white ribbon. “This is for you.”
Rachel hefted the weight of the gift in her hand. It was pretty light. Wonder what it is? She slid off the ribbon and removed the wrapping paper, revealing a small box that looked as if it had come from a jeweler. Rachel’s breath caught. Then she shook her head. Lillian surely hadn’t bought her a ring. It was probably a watch or something like that.
Slowly, she lifted the lid off the box. What’s this? A silver key ring with a pendant shaped like an R gleamed on black velvet.
“Maybe it’s not such a good present after all,” Lillian said softly.
“Of course it’s good, Mom,” Tyler said. He pointed at the key ring’s pendant. “Look, it’s an R. Like in Rachel.”
Rachel loosely wrapped one arm around him. “Yes, it is. Did you pick it?”
Tyler nodded. “First I wanted to get one that looks like your handcuffs, but Mom said handcuffs don’t make good presents.”
“Oh, they don’t?” Rachel winked at Lillian. “Does that mean I have to think of another gift for Valentine’s Day?”
“Behave.” Lillian pinched Rachel’s leg but then left her hand in place and rubbed the thigh.
Rachel turned back toward Tyler. “The R is great.” She lifted the key ring out of its box. Two keys dangled from the key ring. She directed a questioning glance at Lillian.
“Keys to my apartment,” Lillian said. Her fingers fiddled with the ribbon. “To our apartment. If that’s what you want too.”
Rachel stared at her, barely able to breathe. “You mean…?”
Lillian nodded. “I talked to Tyler. We both want you to move in and share our lives. But only if you want that too.”
Tears burned in Rachel’s eyes. Quickly, she blinked to stop them from falling. “Oh, God. I…” Her voice broke. She cleared her throat but still couldn’t find the right words.
“Why are you crying, Rachel?” Tyler touched her knee and looked at her with tears brimming in his own eyes. “Don’t you want to come live with us?”
A single tear trailed down Rachel’s cheek. She wanted to reassure Tyler, but the lump in her throat stopped her from answering.
“Hey, are you all right?” Lillian laid a hand on Rachel’s cheek and turned her head so Rachel had to look her in the eyes.
“Yeah, it’s just…” Rachel rubbed her burning eyes and trailed her fingers soothingly through Tyler’s hair while he leaned against her leg. She had to tell Lillian the truth and finally confess her secret fears. But not with Tyler listening. This was a conversation between adults. “Tyler, can you give your mom and me a minute? Why don’t you play with the Beyblade? I promise I’m okay.”
Tyler hesitated, but at Lillian’s encouraging nod, he took his high-tech spinning top and went to the other side of the living room.
Rachel took a deep breath. “All this time, I got myself convinced that you just see me as a temporary girlfriend, not the woman you want to spend the rest of your life with.”
Lillian reached for both of Rachel’s hands and squeezed them. “Oh, God. I’m so sorry I let you believe that. Why didn’t you just ask me?”
Rachel shrugged. “I didn’t want to pressure you. After Maggie died…”
A shaky breath escaped Lillian’s lungs. “I loved Maggie. She’ll always hold a special place in my heart.” She glanced at her son. “And in Tyler’s.”
Rachel swallowed.
“Losing her…” Lillian closed her eyes for a few seconds. When she opened them again, tears glittered in her blue eyes. “But what I had with Maggie has nothing to do with you. I love you, Rachel.”
Lillian had said those words before, but Rachel’s breath still caught whenever she heard them. “I know. And I love you too.”
“Then why are you crying?” With gentle fingertips, Lillian touched Rachel’s cheek.
“Because I don’t know what that means,” Rachel said. Her voice trembled. “Does it mean you love me right now? Or enough to want to spend the rest of your life with me?”
Lillian lifted Rachel’s hand to her mouth and kissed her fingers. “The rest of my life… I don’t mind admitting that scares the hell out of me. If I commit to you for the rest of my life and then something were to happen to you…” She covered her eyes with her free hand.
Rachel entwined her fingers with Lillian’s. “I understand why you wouldn’t want to go through that again, but then why are you giving me the keys?”
Lillian clutched Rachel’s fingers with her other hand too and looked into her eyes. “It scares me to death, but I realized that you have been an integral part of my life this past year. Not saying it aloud doesn’t change that. I want to spend Christmas, New Year’s Eve, and all other days of my life with you.” She moved her hand back to the book she still held on her lap. “If I give in to my fear, I would miss out on so many beautiful moments with you.”
Rachel’s head was spinning. She still couldn’t believe her good fortune. After all these months of hoping and doubting…
“So?” Lillian took a deep breath. “You still haven’t answered my question. Will you move in with us?”
“Yes,” Rachel said without hesitation. She waved Tyler over and waited until he climbed onto the arm of the couch. “I’ll move in with you two. On one condition.” She winked at Lillian.
Lillian turned toward her on the couch until their knees were touching. “What’s that?”
“That I get to dress up as Ms. Santa Claus again next year.” Rachel leaned toward Lillian and kissed her, this time without the beard.
“Fine with me,” Lillian said. “You’re my favorite Santa’s helper.”
“Mine too!” Tyler shouted. He nearly fell off the couch when he threw himself into Rachel’s arms. “Will you get to use Santa’s sleigh next year?”
Rachel laughed so hard that tears trailed down her cheeks again. “We’ll
see.” She had no idea how she’d pull that off, but the miracle of Christmas seemed to make everything possible.
###
The Christmas Elf
“This is the third time in the last five minutes you glanced at your watch,” Mike said as they rode the escalator to the mall’s lower level. “You and Lillian got a hot date or something?”
Rachel pretended to be busy straightening the tie of her uniform. “No, nothing like that.”
“What is it, then? You’ve been fidgety as hell all day.”
Sighing, Rachel looked up from her tie. She knew Mike would wheedle it out of her eventually, so she might as well just tell him now. “I have a job interview right after our shift is over.”
At the words “job interview,” Mike stiffened, and his ever-present smile disappeared. He clutched his duty belt with one hand. “You’re quitting?”
“What? No.” Being a security guard at the mall might not be the world’s best job, but Rachel liked it. “This will be just a few hours of extra work until Christmas.”
Mike let go of his duty belt and grinned. “What, the shoplifters and muggers not keeping you busy enough?”
“Oh, I’m plenty busy. But I need to make some extra cash.”
They stepped off the escalator, and Mike turned to face her. “Are you and Lillian in a tight spot? Need me to lend you some money?”
Rachel gave him a grateful smile. “Thanks, but no. You’ve got a wife and two kids of your own, so it’s not like you have two thousand bucks just lying around.”
“Two thousand bucks?” Mike let out a low whistle. “What do you need that kind of money for? Your rust bucket finally bite the dust?”
Rachel rolled her eyes but decided not to defend her car. “No, my car is fine.” She hesitated.
“Come on.” Mike slapped her on the shoulder. “You know you want to tell Uncle Mike.”
Rachel looked left and right, making sure Lillian, who worked in one of the nearby fast-food places, wasn’t within earshot. Then she leaned closer to Mike and whispered, “I’m saving up for a ring.” Butterflies the size of eagles took flight in her stomach at the mere thought of it.
