Insanity, #1

by Andre Gonzalez

  “Who are you to decide?” Dr. Siva asked, sitting up stiffly in his chair.

  “It’s the law—you can’t kill people. He killed kids, lots of kids. No way should he be able to get away with it.”

  “Are you religious, Jeremy?”

  Jeremy paused, wondering at the relevance of the question.

  “Never mind,” Dr. Siva said. “The point is that there are thousands of cases of mental illness that go undiagnosed. Mental illness is frowned upon in this country. You’d be surprised how many people have been executed or are rotting in a cell that actually need medical treatment.”

  “That doesn’t take back what they did.”

  “Look, I’m not condoning this kid’s actions, please understand that. I got chills hearing about the scene he left behind. I feel for the families, but that doesn’t mean the shooter has a healthy mind.”

  Jeremy fidgeted in his chair.

  “I’d like to ask you to follow this trial. Not as an assignment, but as a chance to gain some valuable insight about a dark topic within our field of study.”

  Jeremy looked at Dr. Siva, trying to wrap his mind around what he was saying.

  “Keep an objective mind,” Dr. Siva said. “Put your emotions aside and keep your ears open to the facts. There will be some highly experienced psychologists testifying in defense of this young man. Pay close attention to what they say. Remember, at the end of the day our job is to help people fighting battles within themselves.”

  “Okay,” Jeremy said softly. “I’ll follow it.”

  “Very good. I look forward to us discussing this trial.”

  Jeremy felt sick to his stomach. The thought of keeping an open mind to the horrific acts done by this monster made him doubt his future occupation.

  One day I could have some loony axe murderer in my office, and I might need to defend them?

  “Thank you, Dr. Siva. I look forward to it as well.”

  Jeremy left his professor’s office with more questions than ever.

  *****

  Two weeks into the trial, Jeremy was starting to see what Dr. Siva meant. The shooter had been virtually abandoned during his adolescent years by his executive parents who were never home. Having minimal human interaction at home led to social anxiety in the outside world, mainly at school.

  He had no friends in high school, never went on dates, to dances, or to football games. He hid in the back of the classroom and avoided group discussions.

  With no one to turn to, he started to research depression, looking for any means of coping with the stress that had built up over years as an outcast. By his senior year of high school he had started sneaking his mother’s antidepressants only to find his depression worsen after using them.

  Having suicidal thoughts, he snuck his dad’s gun from its hiding place. The investigation found that he had compiled a list of some of the country’s most notorious mass shootings. He obsessed over each shooting, taking notes on what he liked and didn’t like. After a couple months of research, the shooter made his plan of attack and carried it out.

  “In a matter of four months, this kid went from a loner high school student to a notorious monster,” Dr. Siva said. “But why? That’s what we need to find out. Obviously the absence of parental guidance attributed, but why did he decide that this would be a good idea? Was it an event at school? Did he have a fight with his parents? There’s always a turning point.

  “Thousands of mentally ill people are perfectly fine and living normal lives. It takes something to trigger such a drastic expression of rage. But regardless, that boy needs serious mental assistance. Until we stop putting mentally ill people behind bars and giving them the death penalty, these kinds of stories will continue.”

  “I honestly can’t say I disagree,” Jeremy said. “If anyone could have sat down with this kid, they would’ve been able to see he was suffering.”

  Dr. Siva sat in a meditative silence, hands folded below his chin.

  “I want to challenge you, Jeremy,” Dr. Siva said. “Start thinking of ways to address this issue.”

  “How?” Jeremy asked, stiffening in his chair.

  “Change society’s way of thinking. That’s the challenge. Convince a jury to see a mass murderer as a victim of undiagnosed medical issues instead of as a monster.”

  “I don’t know, Dr. Siva. Sounds like a fool’s mission. People are so closed-minded nowadays. Everyone believes what they believe.”

  “You’d be surprised,” Dr. Siva replied. “Just food for thought. I don’t expect anyone to save the world over night, just wanted to plant the seed.”

  “Fair enough. This trial—I’m glad you asked me to follow it. I’m finding myself slightly obsessed with the justice system.”

  “Well, that’s a conversation for another day. Keep up with the trial, and we’ll plan on catching up soon.”

  Jeremy thanked him, wished him a happy weekend, and exited the doctor’s office.

  Their conversation weighed on his mind for the remainder of the night. He tossed and turned in bed, unable to shake the thought of all the mentally ill people that had been executed in the past.

  If I could just get people to understand life from these people’s point of view, maybe there would be more understanding.

  He thought back to a book he had read in high school called Black Like Me. It was an account of a white man that had gone undercover as a black man in the South during the 1960s. He published his experience to show the world how differently black people were treated. He shed a light on the nastiness of society, and people hated it. The author had to move his family to Mexico to flee the death threats.

  I need to expose this for the world to see. Maybe I can somehow infiltrate the system, show what’s really going on, and report my findings.

  Jeremy tried to relax his rambling thoughts, but now that his brain had hold of the idea it wouldn’t let go.

  I need to get into a psychiatric hospital. I could just admit myself, tell them I’m hearing voices in my head.

  He thought it over, dismissed the thought.

  It’s not the knowingly mentally ill that are the problem. It’s the ones who are undiagnosed.

  A botched suicide attempt?

  He remembered one of his past professors dismissing failed suicide attempts. “If you truly want to end your life, then you will. There’s no gray area.”

  I have to go to court. I have to be sent to the hospital. Sentenced to the hospital.

  He finally started to feel drowsy.

  I have to kill someone.

  19

  Chapter 19

  October 2013

  In the morning, Jeremy was terrified about the dark things he’d considered the night before. I’m just caught up in the trial. I have a good job, a girlfriend I love, and a loving family. Killing someone in the name of science is absurd. He would need to find another way to expose the flaws in the system, and decided to move his challenge from Dr. Siva to the back burner and focus on work.

  “Tyrell and Dom are both stepping down from their lead roles and returning to be regular reps,” Nicole told him in their monthly meeting.

  It had only been four months since his promotion, and now Jeremy was the only team lead for the entire department.

  “Shelly made the decision and asked them to step away from the pressures of the team lead position. It had become obvious they weren’t cut out for the job.”

  “What does this mean for me?” Jeremy asked.

  “Well, you look great in the eyes of all the managers. Until we fill their positions, you’ll have to be the main resource for the whole department. So get ready to be busy. I know you can handle it.”

  “I look forward to it.”

  “Something else I wanted to run by you.” Nicole shifted to a more serious tone. “We’re going to start attending events as a company. Mental health conferences. And we’re looking to send a customer service rep to help out the sales team on the road. Would you be interested in
doing these shows, maybe once a quarter?”

  “Uh, hell yeah!” Jeremy cried.

  “Okay, cool. I thought so. There’s a show next month in Chicago. It’s a quick two-day trip.”

  *****

  Being the only team lead in the department was a blessing. Jeremy quickly advanced through the ranks.

  He enjoyed traveling to conventions to support the field sales team. Soon Jeremy became the dedicated customer service representative for the entire field sales team of about twenty. It nearly doubled his workload, but he was happy to take it on.

  Nicole helped him develop into a leader, allowing him to run team meetings and trainings, and even join her for interviews of potential new hires.

  Jeremy’s closest friend on the onboarding team, Clark, shared with Jeremy that he also wanted to work his way into a leadership position. Clark had a hefty frame, and a reddish beard. He worked quietly and worked to keep the peace in the group, offered his assistance at every opportunity.

  “It’s all about bullshit, man,” Jeremy told him. “Hit your numbers and kiss the right asses.”

  “It seems wrong,” Clark said quietly. “I should be judged by how hard I work, not how well I play the politics game.”

  “I know, but this is the game, and it’s only going to get worse. If we really do go public in a few months, we’ll have investors to answer to.”

  20

  Chapter 20

  November 2014

  Sami called for a company-wide meeting via teleconference. Jeremy sat in the back and watched as Sami announced the news.

  “Today, I’m humbled and honored to announce that, as a company, we have made it to the top!” Sami shouted. Applause ruptured across the different offices. Screams, whistles, and clapping all poured through the intercom.

  “We’re headed into our next chapter, and let me tell you, big things are coming,” Sami said. Employees murmured amongst themselves. “I don’t want anyone worrying about their jobs. Sometimes jobs are cut to make things more appealing for investors, but a decision like that would have already happened if it were going to. Business will continue as usual.”

  Sami concluded by announcing that a huge party would take place in a month, when he would ring the opening bell on Wall Street for their first day as a public company.

  The meeting in the Denver office concluded with cookies and beer.

  “Cheers to us!” Jeremy raised his beer can and knocked it against those around him. “We made it. Now there’s no looking back.”

  *****

  The month leading up to the IPO brought plenty of change, with a steady flow of media outlets visiting the office to cover stories for the upcoming event. Everyone was reminded to keep their workspaces clean for photo ops.

  Sami ordered lunch for the whole company every day prior to his trip to New York City. Jeremy’s fears about losing culture as a public company seemed to be unfounded—there were even more lunches, events, and happy hours in the month leading to the IPO than before.

  In the midst of the commotion, Jeremy had taken on even more responsibilities. A small class of three new hires were set to begin their training in a couple of weeks, and Shelly asked Jeremy to run the two-week course. And not only did he get to train the new class, one of the new hires was chosen by Jeremy.

  Jeremy continued to prove himself in the training class. Not only did he show Shelly and Nicole his capability as a teacher, he discovered a new passion. Training felt natural, and his psychological knowledge helped him communicate effectively with different people. The new hires came out of their two-week session ready to tackle the phones, with a stronger rapport with one another than any class before. Their high-level performance was no accident.

  “What did you do in there?” Shelly asked him.

  “I did a scavenger hunt,” he said. Shelly raised an eyebrow. “I made a scavenger hunt of random facts about everyone on the team. They had to mingle with the team, to learn who to match with each fact. It was a great ice-breaker.”

  “Well, that’s awesome,” Shelly said with a big grin. “I’d like to have you do this again. I’ll be sure to let you know when we have more new hires.”

  21

  Chapter 21

  July 2015

  “Welcome to Open Hands!” Amanda greeted Jeremy as he walked into the office.

  Her greeting caught him off guard. “Good one,” he said sleepily.

  Her awkward grin remained. “I’m not kidding,” she said, looking like she was about to laugh or cry, Jeremy couldn’t tell which. “We got bought out by Open Hands. We’re merging companies.”

  Open Hands was their biggest competitor. They were founded a year prior to Sami starting his business, and the two companies, in a sense, grew up together. Open Hands, however, led the industry, while E-Nonymous came in second, slowly gaining ground on their nemesis. The two had a sibling-like rivalry, bashing the other on sales calls to try and beat them out on deals with potential clients.

  Jeremy had even encountered Open Hands staff at conventions, and had noticed that their exhibit space was always more attractive and bigger. The two companies merging would be like the Yankees and Red Sox deciding to join forces.

  Amanda read the doubt on Jeremy’s face and said, “Check your email if you don’t believe me. Sami wrote to the whole company.”

  Jeremy walked to his desk, punched in his password, and waited for his email to load. A bold message jumped out in his inbox with the subject line MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT!

  He clicked on the email.

  Dear E-Nonymous,

  It is with much pleasure that I announce that our company is set to be purchased by Open Hands.

  For years we have battled each other for market share, and it’s been a fun ride. We have both grown into juggernauts in our industry, and I feel that there is no better time for us to join forces with our former foe.

  I have watched us grow, thanks to the hard work and innovation of our team. Combining that with the resources of Open Hands will allow us to grow even more.

  I want to thank you all for the hard work you’ve put in over the years, helping us get to this point in our young history. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine us becoming this big.

  I know you will have plenty of questions about what happens next, and so do I. There will be a company meeting later today with our new CEO, Lloyd Russell. Lloyd has a passion you’ll love, and I’m excited about the direction and vision he has for our new company moving forward. Until then, let’s keep showing them why they made the right decision to merge with us!

  Thank you again,

  Sami

  Jeremy didn’t believe his eyes. He reread the email.

  What the fuck is going on? He looked around as his colleagues filed in for the morning, opened their email, and looked around the office like he was, as if they were expecting someone to jump out of the shadows and tell them it was all a prank.

  Instead, Shelly walked to the center of the floor, announcing, “Please gather around, everyone. Quickly, please.”

  Jeremy thought he heard a slight tremble in her voice, and noticed her face was pale. His mind raced.

  Are we all getting fired? Why would Sami do this to us? His email did sound like a farewell.

  The department gathered in a circle around Shelly.

  “Good morning,” she said to her staff of forty, all staring at her in wonder. “As you have seen in your email this morning, there is some pretty big news. We have been bought out by Open Hands. This came as a surprise to all of us, and I’ve been on the phone with HQ trying to learn everything I can.

  “I want to assure you that you still have a job. There are no plans to let anyone go. For the short term, business will continue as usual. There’s still a mountain of paperwork and federal approval to get through before this becomes 100 percent official. For the time being, we are still E-Nonymous.

  “There will be a meeting later this afternoon with the Open Hands CEO, and he’ll have a lo
t more details. Please hold any questions until then, as I only know what I just told you.”

  “Are we keeping our brand?” Peter asked.

  “I don’t know, that will be a question for later,” Shelly said in a stern voice. “Today will be weird, but let’s focus on keeping it as normal as we can. Check your calendars for an invite to the company meeting. We can meet as a team again once we have more information.”

  Shelly walked back to her desk, leaving the team to go their own ways. The floor hummed with murmurs and an elevated energy.

  Nicole pulled Jeremy into a conference room. “You okay?” she asked.

  “Yeah. Pretty shocked. Can they just buy us like this?”

  “They can. Sami worked out a deal. He sold us for $3.5 billion.”

  Jeremy’s eyes bulged. “Holy shit.”

  “Yeah. I was reading some business websites this morning. They’re saying it’s the biggest transaction ever for a tech company.”

  *****

  The company-wide meeting space buzzed with energy. Unlike the IPO announcement, which surged with an excited vibe, this meeting had a mixture of confusion, fear, and panic.

  “Rest in peace, E-Nonymous!” someone shouted in the crowded room, receiving a mix of laughter and shouts.

  Jeremy took his seat toward the back of the room next to Sylvia, one of his teammates. Sylvia liked to remain as uninvolved as she could at company events, opting to stick with her small team.

  “What you think, Jer?” she asked when he sat. “That be some bullshit if we all get fired today.”

  “I don’t think we have to worry about that,” he said. “Just from what I’ve heard, this can be a good thing for us.”