[Holiday Encounters 01.0 - 03.0] Boxed Set

by Amy Lamont

  I squeezed my eyes shut tight. My heart had always clenched in pain for Hunter in those moments, but Hunter just seemed to let the words slide off his back so I’d never managed to find the nerve to talk to him about it. The only time I’d ever reacted was when Hunter and Mr. Lawson argued over the motorcycle.

  But obviously the fact I’d kept silent had bothered him way more than I realized. And with the perspective of an adult and a social worker, I knew, of course, having a parent say those words could leave scars. His father really hurt him. And all this time he’d thought I felt the same way his father did.

  I shook my head and tried to speak a couple of times before I managed to pass a sound from between my suddenly dry lips.

  “No,” I whispered.

  His shoulders stiffened, but other than that, he didn’t react. He turned his attention back to the fire.

  I cleared my throat and this time managed to speak much louder, my single word full of emotion. “No.”

  Once again he picked up the poker and stirred the fire. He didn’t look at me or show that he’d even heard me.

  “Hunter.” My voice came out hoarse, as if my throat were clogged with tears. Maybe it was. At the moment, I didn’t know exactly what I was feeling, but I knew I needed him to look at me.

  He gave me a quick, narrow look, barely shifting his head my way. But something about my tone must have caught his attention because he didn’t look away again.

  Shit. Now I was going to have to actually speak. Was there any way to make him believe I never thought he was beneath me without revealing my feelings to him?

  The answer came clearly from deep within me.

  No.

  A strange calm overtook me. My pulse slowed and I squared my shoulders. My stomach settled and I dropped my hands to my sides as I turned to fully face him.

  Since the moment I laid eyes on him eleven years ago, my feelings for him have been my most closely guarded secret. Fear made me tuck them away in my heart, longing for him from a distance.

  But if I’d let him know how much I cared about him, how I’d thought he was the most amazing person I’d ever met, would it have made a difference? Even if I got my heart stomped on, maybe I could have made the verbal wounds his father inflicted cut a little less deep.

  Instead I’d made them worse.

  That was the thought that stole the breath from my lungs. I’d wanted nothing more than to make things better for Hunter, but all along he thought I felt like he was trash. Someone not worth my notice.

  So what choice did I have now? I could hold onto my pride and my heart for dear life and let him go on thinking I hated him. Or I could be honest, admit my feelings, and risk…everything.

  Chapter 5

  Well, hell. There was no choice. I might be trying to shed my nice girl reputation, but making the leap from that to heartless bitch in less than a day wasn’t on my agenda. I took a deep breath. Should I just blurt my feelings out? I kept my gaze glued to his profile. Would he even believe me?

  “You asked me before why my friends and I played pranks on your father.”

  He flicked his eyes toward me, but showed not one iota of interest in any other way. My hands clenched at my sides as I braced myself.

  “It was my idea,” I said. “I’d been planning it for a while, but didn’t think I’d ever have the nerve to go through with any of it.”

  He stilled for a long moment and then he put the fireplace poker back in the stand. He turned to face me, crossing his arms over his chest. His expression didn’t give anything away. “Did my dad do something to piss you off?”

  I knew what he was asking. He thought I planned it because his dad scolded me for walking on his lawn or throwing a ball over their fence. But I’d play along.

  “Yeah, he did something that pissed me off.” I pulled in a deep breath. “Did you ever hear anything that went on over at our house?”

  He raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

  “I mean, when you were at home, did you ever hear something like Logan and I screaming at each other or my dad giving Logan hell for leaving his tools all over the garage?”

  Hunter’s brows crinkled and he dropped his arms. For one second, he lost his hard edge and looked so adorably confused, I had to fight the urge to go to him and smooth my fingers over the furrow.

  He shook his head a little, but answered as I expected him to. “Yeah, I guess, sometimes I heard those kinds of things.”

  “Me, too. I mean, with you and your family.” I moved restlessly and folded my arms loosely around my middle. “Sometimes I heard your dad yelling at you.”

  My voice came out as no more than a whisper, but he heard me. His body tensed. Every muscle looked rigid, like he was cut from stone. The only movement he made was a flexing of his jaw.

  “You heard my father yelling at me.” His voice came out gritty and cold like he’d pulled the words from somewhere deep inside.

  I nodded and wrapped my arms more tightly around myself. I wanted to end this right here. I could spare him the embarrassment of knowing all his father’s harshest criticisms carried across our yards, and I could spare myself the humiliation of admitting my feelings and having him stomp on my heart.

  But the look on his face, a combination of anger and something else, made me go on. The last thing I wanted to do was leave him feeling raw and humiliated. Even if it meant I had to feel those things.

  “I always got so angry when I heard your dad yell at you. But I figured it was for the usual stuff.” I shrugged. “You know, leaving your bicycle in the driveway or forgetting to take out the trash.”

  “Oh, I’m sure I got yelled at for both of those things over the years,” he said, his voice icy.

  I nodded. “As we got older, it didn’t seem like your dad needed that much of an excuse to start in on you. He always managed to find something.”

  His eyes flashed, but he didn’t say a word.

  I dropped my gaze to the floor between us, unable to meet his eyes while I admitted the next part. “Anyway, I got more and more angry. I’d lay in bed and hear him and start concocting ways to get revenge for you.”

  “What?” The single word was strangled as if it fought its way out of him.

  My eyes flew to meet his and I swallowed hard. “I never actually had the nerve to do anything. Of course, if I did a few of the things I came up with, I might have been carted off in handcuffs.”

  His arms dropped and he took a step forward. “Katelyn…”

  I shrugged. “He pissed me off. I hated the things he said to you.” I stared into his eyes before I went on fiercely, “And he was wrong. You know that, right? All that shit he spewed about you? I think he was jealous. You were so good at everything and he was just so ordinary. He must have wondered how he managed to have a son like you.”

  “Oh, I’m sure he did,” he said, the sarcasm hard to miss. “One of his favorite themes was how he managed to produce such a fuck up.”

  I shook my head so hard I wouldn’t have been surprised to hear something rattling around in there. “It was so weird. It was like he was jealous or something. It ate at him. You could hear it whenever he started in on you. And did you ever notice it got worse whenever you did something good? Like you’d make the honor roll or bring in the winning goal in a game and the next thing you know, he’d find some reason to go off on you.”

  “You noticed all that?”

  Now that I’d warmed up to my subject it all came spilling out. “I noticed a lot more. And I hated the things he said to you. I can’t even tell you how many times I wanted to run over and tell him off, tell him how wrong he was about you.” I pressed my lips together and gave him a long look. “I wanted you to know those words weren’t true.”

  Hunter snorted out a laugh. He laughed.

  “I don’t see what’s so funny.” I plopped my hands on my hips.

  He took a step closer to me and grinned. “You thought I was one of your wounded birds.”

 
“What?”

  “You know. Everyone on the street thought you were like a princess out of a Disney movie. All that blonde hair and the big blue eyes. The fact that you were always nursing some injured bird or stray animal just added to the image.”

  My jaw dropped. I opened my mouth once and closed it before I managed to get a word out. “Is that why you always called me princess?”

  His grin turned into a wide smile. “Yeah, princess.”

  I shook my head. “I don’t understand.”

  “Yeah, well, you’re not the only one feeling a little confused here. I thought you hated me. You were sweet as pie to every single person you ever met. But me, you wouldn’t even look at me.”

  I gnawed on my bottom lip, my eyes skittering over the room, trying to find anything else to focus my attention on.

  “Katelyn.” The one word was a command, demanding my attention.

  I looked at him and shifted my weight from foot to foot under his intense stare.

  “Why did you and your friends start playing those pranks on my father?”

  Shit. He was going to make me admit everything. I twisted my hands together and took a shaky breath, but managed to keep my eyes steady on his. “When you bought your motorcycle…”

  I broke off and dropped my eyes, not wanting to finish that sentence. Shit, shit, shit. There was no way I could finish that sentence without sharing way, way more than I wanted to.

  “I bought my motorcycle and…” he prompted.

  I glanced up at him from under my lashes. “I loved that you bought that bike.” My eyes drifted closed for an instant and a little grin touched my mouth as I remembered him coming home with it, the rumble of the pipes vibrating through the neighborhood. I opened my eyes and smiled up at him. “You looked like you found heaven. I’d watch you ride off, and for the first time since I’d known you, you looked…”

  I shook my head and wracked my brain for the right word.

  Hunter shifted forward a little more. Now only a few inches separated us, and I blinked up at him. His intent gaze was fixed on me, and a small, almost gentle smile touched his lips.

  What was going on here? I was suddenly extremely aware of the heat radiating from the fire. All of me felt hot and a little weak.

  “How did I look, princess?”

  “You looked free,” I whispered. I smiled at him. “Like one of my wounded birds after they’d healed. You remember how they were when I’d let them go when they were ready? I’d open my hands and they’d sit there for a minute, like they didn’t know they were all better. They’d puff their wings a little and then they’d burst off my hands, flying like that moment of freedom was the best thing they’d experienced in their lives.”

  He moved even closer and now he rested his hands on my waist. I could only imagine how startled I must look. How many times had I dreamed of Hunter’s hands on me, that look on his face?

  Maybe that was it. Maybe I fell asleep in front of the fire and slipped into one of my dreams.

  But Hunter gave me a gentle shake and I knew this was no dream. I was standing here in Hunter Lawson’s arms.

  “So what did me and my bike have to do with you and your friends writing dirty words in our lawn?”

  I bit my lip and stared up at him, but all thought fled.

  He gave me another little shake and grinned like he knew exactly the effect he was having on me. “Tell me, Kate.”

  I swallowed and nodded a little. I took a deep breath and held it a second before slowly letting it out, and I dropped my eyes to his chest. Here went nothing. “I loved watching you on that bike. I can’t tell you how many times I’d watch out the window when I heard you riding out and wished I could go with you.”

  I sneaked a peek up at him to see his reaction.

  His eyebrows furrowed again. “Is that what you meant earlier when you said I had no idea how many times you’d thought about going for a ride on my bike?”

  I nodded before giving a little shrug. “I’ve wanted to do that since I was fifteen-years-old.”

  “You never said anything. You could have just asked for a ride. But you never said two words to me.” He squinted down at me, and I swear I could see the memories playing out in his mind. “In fact, if I remember correctly, you stopped tagging along so much around that time. I figured you looked down on me for buying that bike.”

  I snorted. Nothing could be further from the truth. But looking back now, I could see why it seemed that way. I’d had a pretty harmless crush on him up until that point.

  But the first time I saw him on that bike, something shifted. My fantasies went from having Hunter hold my hand and admit his feelings for me to having Hunter put me on the back of his bike to ride to some secluded spot and then bend me over the back of his bike while he did all manner of naughty things to me.

  My face flamed.

  His hands flexed on my hips and a low chuckle broke from him. “I’d pay good money to know what thought just went through your head.”

  My eyes widened and I couldn’t tear my gaze from his. Was Hunter flirting with me?

  My heart stuttered in my chest and I fought to gather my composure. No easy feat considering he still had his hands on me.

  “Anyway,” I said, “I liked seeing how happy you were riding off on that bike. And Logan told me how you’d saved money for the better part of a year to buy it. But your dad seemed to lose his mind. I swear I heard him yelling at you for a week straight.”

  “That sounds about right,” he said.

  “I couldn’t take it. One night I admitted to my friends how much I wanted to get back at your dad and some of the ideas I’d had over the years.” I shrugged. “That was about all it took. Before I knew it we had a bunch of pranks planned. And you know the rest.”

  “So you’re saying, the pranks had nothing to do with my dad being a dick to you? You heard him yelling at me and decided you needed to…what, defend me?”

  The heat in my face intensified until I felt like my head might blow off my shoulders. But I offered the most nonchalant shrug I could muster up. “I guess.”

  “You guess.” He grinned and with just the shifting of his weight, he closed the space between us until he was pressed against me. “All this time I figured you thought I was a piece of shit. But you watched me on my bike and noticed how happy it made me. You defended me when my dad got out of hand. Why? Why did you do that, Katelyn, when you never spoke two words to me?”

  The breath left my lungs and my heartbeat picked up until I worried I might pass out. Heat moved through my body, starting at all the points where his body touched mine.

  He leaned down, bending his knees a little until we were on eye level. “Katelyn, tell me.”

  His low whisper so close to my ear sent shivers through me. Goosebumps rose on my skin. I stared into his eyes. I couldn’t make sense of what was going on. Why was Hunter holding me? My heart had too many years of hiding to hold out hope he might have some feelings for me.

  “Tell me,” he said. His voice was a whisper but that didn’t mean it wasn’t also commanding.

  I stared up at him and tried to read the emotions swirling in his eyes. His hands moved to slide up and down my arms. The move seemed like it should be soothing, but instead it sent tingles of warmth through my whole body. It triggered the feelings elicited by the dreams I’d been having, and desire curled through my belly.

  I placed my hands on his chest and it hit me. The question that I asked myself in my office this morning shot through my mind.

  God, had it only been hours ago I’d been sitting in my office? Standing in Hunter’s arms, his body pressed to mine, it felt like several lifetimes ago.

  But the question remained. What was I waiting for?

  I curled my fingers into his t-shirt. I took a moment to enjoy the feel of his hard pectoral muscles beneath my fingers and pulled in a calming breath. I needed to do this now or I’d never find the courage to do it.

  “Hunter.” I didn’t e
ven recognize the throaty whisper that escaped me. “You have to know how I felt about you…”

  He slid his arms around me, trapping my hands between our bodies. “I thought you hated me, but now you’re telling me you stood up to my dad for me. You were happy when I was happy. I’m beginning to think I don’t have a clue about how you felt about me.”

  There was something in his eyes—hope and affection and something else I couldn’t put a name to. I couldn’t let him think for even another minute that I thought of him like the loser his father always called him.

  I scraped my teeth over my bottom lip and gathered my courage before I finally told him the truth. All of it. “I couldn’t speak two words to you because I got completely nervous and tongue-tied whenever I got within more than ten feet of you. I was sweet as pie to all our neighbors because it didn’t really matter to me if they just saw me as the nice girl that lived across the street. I saw how you felt about being able to ride off on your bike because I spent a lot of time watching you from my window. And I got so angry when your dad called you names and told you you’d never amount to anything because I saw the truth. I never doubted for a second you could do anything you put your mind to.”

  His arms tightened around me to the point it was almost painful. I slid my hands up over his shoulders until I had my arms around his neck.

  Oh my God. My breathing all but stopped and I kept my eyes glued to Hunter’s. His expression was fierce in a way I never saw him look before. “You’re telling me how you used to feel about me?”

  I nodded.

  “We haven’t seen each other for years, Katelyn. How do you feel about me now?”

  I couldn’t have stopped the words from pouring out if I tried. “Every time Logan calls home, the first thing I ask about after he tells me he’s healthy and whole is you.”

  “So you knew where to find me because…?”