Lost Shadow

by Chanda Hahn

  Jax spun on his heel, his face coming inches from her, his voice softened as he pleaded with her, “Maybe I didn’t set it high enough. We’re too few, Wendy, to take on Neverland. We’d neve—”

  “Peter!” Wendy breathed out, interrupting Jax. She saw him, recognized his shadow at the end of the hall, behind Jax’s tall form.

  Jax followed her gaze, his eyes squinting, seeing nothing.

  “Peter?” he called out.

  She stepped around Jax and slowly approached the dark shadow that was waiting for her.

  “Where did you go?” she whispered, her voice shaking. “You left me alone. You left me.” Her voice rose in anguish. “You promised you wouldn’t leave me.”

  Peter’s shadow rushed closer to her and reached out, and she eagerly pressed her hand into his presence and closed her eyes. Images scattered into her mind as she tried to make sense of what he was showing her. Soldiers, a training room, a semi. His urgency caused him to ambush her with his fear, and the images hit her like a sledgehammer. It was too much, too fast.

  She felt herself slipping to the ground, heard Jax cry out her name in alarm, and Peter’s shadow flickered out of view as her eyelids closed.

  Chapter 17

  Her head wouldn't stop throbbing. With each beat of her heart, a stabbing pain hit her in the temple. Wendy struggled to open her eyes and found Jax standing guard at the foot of her bed. He was tense, his focus aimed at her door, his arm outstretched, his brace armed and ready to fire.

  “What’s happening?” Wendy cried, alarmed by his stance.

  Jax gave her the briefest glance, and Wendy took note of the specs on his eyes that allowed him to see the shadows. Was he protecting her from Peter?

  “I don’t know. You called his name and then collapsed. When I touched you, your body was ice cold. If Peter did this to you, I’ll kill him,” he growled out.

  “Jax, he already is—”

  “I know,” he snapped. “I’ll kill him again. He had no right to assault you like that.”

  Wendy attempted to lean over the side of the bed to glance into the hall, but Jax’s body made a better wall than a window. She couldn’t see if Peter’s shadow was out there.

  “Where is he?” she asked, hoping that he was still here, and that Jax hadn’t destroyed him.

  “Down the hall on the left,” Jax mumbled and shifted his weight. Peter must have made another attempt to move closer because Jax raised the brace again. “Don’t even try it, Peter. You want to see how many times you can regenerate?”

  Wendy slipped her feet off the bed and tried to stand. Her head weighing a million tons, she felt like a weighted blow-up clown balloon, and with each step, she wobbled back and forth.

  “Stay back, Wendy,” Jax warned. “He attacked you. I’m not sure what is going on, but he can’t hurt you like that. I won’t allow it.”

  She gently touched his right arm, pushing the brace down to aim at the floor. “He’s scared, Jax,” Wendy soothed. “He didn’t mean to harm me, but something scared him and he tried to tell me all at once, and it was too much for my system. Perhaps if we try it again.” She stepped past Jax.

  Once Wendy was in view, Peter rushed forward and Jax moved like lightning. He raced and pushed Wendy behind him, his brace aimed at the shadow. “No man, I’m not going to let you hurt your girl. Move toward her again, and I will send you where the sun don’t shine.”

  “Jax, we need to figure out what’s going on. We must communicate with him. See what he can tell us about Neverland and the boys. Unless this has been your plan all along,” she accused, her suspicions coming back to the surface. Suspicions she suppressed as she started to grow closer to him. “To weaken us. First you demand Ditto and the younger boys stay behind, and now you won’t let Peter help us.”

  “No! I wouldn’t do that. I’m just trying to protect them . . . and you.” Jax dropped his head, and a deep sigh resonated from his lips. He very deliberately stepped aside and waved her toward Peter. Wendy slid past him into the hall, and Jax grabbed her elbow. “Listen, I so much as sense that you’re in danger, it’s over.”

  She nodded and paused in front of Peter as his shadow floated in front of her. He was milky black; at the right angle she could see through him to the stairs. His form was always moving, shifting but discernable to her. She would recognize his shadow anywhere now. Her heart would always lead her to him.

  She didn’t reach for him as eagerly as she had before. It took a minute of gathering her nerve, as if to extend a hand to a dog that had bitten her. Her fingers trembled as she reached her palm out.

  Jax took another step forward, and she felt reassured by his presence. Peter’s hand froze inches above her palm, not moving down to connect or pass through hers. She could see him contemplating the exchange himself, could sense his hesitation. He was afraid to hurt her. Peter’s shadowy gaze turned to Jax in question and he withdrew his hand.

  “No, Peter,” Wendy gasped. “I can take it. It will be fine. I’ve done this before, we’ve done this before. You won’t hurt me a second time. It was just a fluke. You were scared, that’s all.”

  Peter’s shadow didn’t acknowledge her. Instead, he beckoned with his chin toward Jax, and Jax crooked his head in thought.

  A silent exchange passed between them, a bond born of brotherhood and battles, and Wendy would never be able to fathom what they were conspiring.

  Jax’s shoulders stiffened. His wrist and brace lowered, and he looked at Peter through the goggles. “Do it.”

  “Do what?” Wendy asked unnecessarily as Peter’s shadow rushed past Wendy and dove into Jax’s body.

  Jax gasped as the momentum of Peter’s soul entered him and thrust him against the wall, his head thudding loudly.

  “Jax!” Wendy screamed, rushing to aid him as his legs folded under him and he crumpled to the ground.

  Wendy grabbed Jax’s shoulders, steadying him, calling his name as she scanned the hall for Peter’s shadow. Unlike before, when the shadows would pass through a person and out the other side, Peter’s didn’t. He was gone.

  “Jax, answer me,” Wendy pleaded.

  Jax’s eyelashes fluttered open. His gray eyes met hers and he flashed a cocky grin at her. “Told you, Wendy girl, nothing would separate us,” he teased jovially.

  Her hands dropped from Jax’s shoulders and she fell onto her backside in shock.

  “Peter? Is that you?”

  Jax regained his balance and helped Wendy off the floor before patting his chest and rubbing his hands along his jaw. “Yes, and no. It seems that Jax and I are cohabitating at the moment. But I don’t know for how long. He was never very good at sharing things.” He grinned at her.

  Wendy’s heart danced at having Peter back, and she wrapped her arms around him. Peter’s hug was a lifeline in the stormy waters. His presence calmed her spirit, even if he was in the wrong packaging, and she couldn’t stop the sniffles and the tears of happiness that trailed down her face.

  “Now, now, there’s nothing to cry over. I’m here. Well, I was here before, but now I can talk to you easier,” he soothed and headed down the stairs to the living room. Wendy followed in disbelief.

  “What happened to you?” she sniffed.

  She felt him shudder under her palms. “I died.”

  “Oh, Peter,” she began, but he cut her off.

  “I stayed as long as I could. But I can’t be away from my body too long or I may not be able to come back, and that would be a tragedy.”

  “Please always come back to me,” she whispered and closed her eyes. It was easier to believe that it was Peter with her eyes closed.

  “I will, Wendy. I promise.” He nuzzled her head with his chin.

  They stayed locked in that embrace, taking comfort from each other, but then a loud cough came from behind them. Jax and Wendy looked up into the very shocked face of Tink at the top of the stairs.

  Her pinched mouth and red-tinged cheeks were enough of an indicator that volcano T
ink was about to erupt with her opinion. Her mouth opened and Wendy prepared herself for the onslaught of bells, since she knew how much Tink distrusted Jax.

  “Hey, Tinker Bell,” Peter-Jax quipped, and Tink’s mouth went slack in confusion at the nickname that only Peter knew.

  Her mouth opened and closed multiple times, and no bells or horns sounded. Finally, after a few false tries, she managed, “Jax. No, he wouldn’t. How . . . Peter?”

  Peter-Jax grinned and nodded, then stepped away from Wendy, opening his arms wide.

  “It’s me, Tink, back from the dead.”

  Tink squealed and ran to Peter, jumping into the air and wrapping her arms around his neck. Peter-Jax swung her around, her legs flying in a circle and taking out the lamp off an end table. Wendy felt a little hurt by the overly friendly greeting between them. When her feet finally found purchase on the wood floor, Tink bopped him on the back of the head.

  “What took you so long? And do you get to keep the Jax meat suit?”

  Peter-Jax chuckled. “Ah, Tink, you don’t mean that.”

  She huffed. “Maybe I do. Although, he’s not necessarily an upgrade.”

  “Upgrade. You still don’t trust him after he fought with us at Neverwood?”

  Tink shook her head.

  Peter-Jax frowned and shook his head. “Tink, we need him. Something bad is happening at Neverland.”

  “What’s going on, Peter?”

  “The boys, I’ve seen them. They’re being harvested. Their DNA is being used to upgrade Hook’s crop of new recruits, his Dusters.”

  “Well, then show us where they are and we’ll bust them out,” Tink declared palming her fist.

  “I can’t. I don’t know where they’re going. They were shutting down their operation and moving. Loading everyone into shipping containers. I get the impression this happens a lot. By the time we got there, they’d be gone. I tried to escape with your friend.” Peter-Jax turned to Wendy.

  “My friend?”

  “Yeah, the cheerleader . . . um, Brittney. It was during my escape attempt that Hook—” Peter drew his finger across his throat and Wendy winced.

  She didn’t need it spelled out how Hook killed him. “What about Brittney?”

  “I don’t know. I didn’t get to see what happened or where we were going when he . . .” He trailed off.

  “How do we find them?” Tink asked. “If they keep moving their base, how are we ever going to find them?”

  “The shadows could take us?” Wendy said. “I’m sure if we asked, they could.”

  “I’m sure with all the morphlings, the shadows have all been taken care of within twenty miles of Neverland,” Tink said.

  “True, I hadn’t thought of that.” She forgot that Neverland was also the home of the morphlings, which hunted down the shadows and devoured them eagerly. It seemed that the shadows also gravitated toward anyone with a hint of supernatural gifts, anyone who had the PX gene, hoping that someone could see them. It was the shadows that had led the morphlings and Red Skulls to the victims that would be forced into becoming recruits in their horrible program.

  “Don’t worry, Tink. We’ll find our boys and bring them home,” he said confidently.

  Tink’s blonde head lowered, and she nodded, surreptitiously wiping a tear away. “Okay, Peter. Just tell us what to do.”

  He scanned the living room and made a beeline for the stairs to the rooms, popping into each one until he saw Ditto slumped over his bed in despair.

  It was odd to see Peter’s confident swagger in Jax’s body—Jax, who was always so stiff and formal. “You ready, Tweedledum?”

  Ditto lifted his head from the pillow and gave Jax the most confused expression. If his eyebrows rose any higher, they’d turn into a butterfly and fly away.

  “What? Jax, you said I couldn’t go?”

  “Nonsense, I need my left lieutenant, and my right. I said you’re going and it’s final.” Peter-Jax put his hands on his hips and grinned.

  Ditto put his hand to his mouth in shock. “It can’t be—can it?” He looked to Wendy and Tink who nodded in affirmation. Ditto rushed to hug Peter. “I’m sorry I failed you, Peter.”

  “Never, Ditto. You’re alive. That’s all that matters. If you died, then I am the one who failed you, by not protecting you. But I’m not going to keep you from your destiny. It’s time we go back. All of us that are left. We will go and take back Neverland.”

  “It really is you, Peter,” Ditto breathed out and leaned back, giving his leader the grandest salute and cheekiest grin he could muster.

  Peter’s answering smile on Jax’s face made Ditto grimace in fear. “Don’t do that.”

  “Do what?” Peter asked, confusion filling his voice.

  “Jax never smiles like that. You look like a serial killer.”

  A deep, gut-busting laugh filled the air, and he turned to look at Tink and Wendy whose faces held a similar look of revulsion.

  “Really? It can’t look that creepy when Jax smiles.”

  They both nodded their head. “It is.”

  Peter-Jax sighed, his brows furrowed, and they both lit up.

  “Aw, there’s Jax.” Tink chuckled.

  “Yes, much better,” Wendy agreed.

  “Yep, it’s better if you just stay surly until you get your own body back,” Ditto said.

  “Well, now we know why Jax is always angry. When he’s actually happy, you accuse him of being a psychopath,” Peter-Jax said.

  “Sociopath,” Tink corrected. “But he’s our sociopath.”

  Peter-Jax sighed and patted his heart, or Jax’s heart, in an attempt to be nearer to his friend. “Yes, he is ours.”

  Chapter 18

  “How are we going to find them now?” Tink asked, sitting cross-legged on the floor. Wendy, John, and Michael had taken the couch, Ditto the lone armchair, and Slightly leaned on the armrest. Other than Peter-Jax, Tootles was the only one not sitting as he kept teleporting to the kitchen for snacks.

  Peter-Jax walked back and forth, his gait looking unnatural in Jax’s body. “I can only tell you what I saw before I was taken out. But the bigger problem will be when I come back to life. I will have panned again. Only while I’m dead do I have any memories of what happened before.”

  John pushed his glasses up his nose. “Do you remember having been a shadow before? I mean, it’s not the first time you’ve panned, but why are you a shadow right now?”

  “That’s an excellent question.” Tink smiled at John and Wendy’s brother blushed.

  “Yeah, Peter, why now? How come you aren’t panning right away and coming to? What’s with the delay?” Ditto asked.

  “I wish I had those answers. Although I suspect that it has something to do with where I died.”

  “You mean Neverland?” Slightly crossed his arms appearing to do calculations in his head. “It can’t be the place, because their base of operations is continually moving, never in one spot long. There must be something or someone that is causing the shadows. I mean, this is only an assumption.”

  “But a valid one,” Tink answered. “He’s right, we need to assume that there is something—an item, a machine—something that is causing the souls to separate. Because you’ve panned at Neverwood and never had an outcome like this.”

  Peter-Jax shook his head. “No, I haven’t. But truthfully, I’m worried. I’m slower. I’m not coming back as fast as I used to.”

  “What do you mean?’ Wendy asked worriedly, her heart already fluttering between nervousness that she was about to lose Peter any second and joy because he was back.

  He gave her a gaze filled with yearning and loss. “We were never meant to be immortal. No one should live forever, that’s just the way of it. And if by chance we could, I don’t know if I would want to. Our time will eventually run out. I have a feeling that mine will before yours. I’ve been fighting Hook for years, taken risks that I would never allow any of the other lost boys to take, because I could. Every time I died, I kn
ew I was taking the place of one of the boys. I was saving them.”

  It was Tootles who spoke up from the kitchen. “Go back, Peter. Go back and find them. Then as a shadow come tell us where they are.”

  Peter-Jax’s head snapped in the direction of their youngest boy. “It could work, if I kept my memories and could purposefully end my life.”

  A heavy silence fell on the room, as everyone contemplated what he had just spoken aloud.

  “No,” Wendy jumped up getting emotional. “Anything but that. No one should have to go through that. You’re talking suicide.”

  Peter-Jax met her eyes and her heart began to weep at the thought of what they were asking him. “Please don’t do it,” she whispered.

  Peter-Jax nodded. “Then, we need Dr. Mee. Find a way to get her memory antidote, or if she knows of a way I can restart my memories at Neverland.”

  “It would take a few days to track her down and find her,” Slightly added. “There’s a chance she could have taken off again. But if you want, I will go in search of her. Except, what if you’re not here when I get back? What if you’re”—he made a poof! gesture with his hands—“gone?”

  “Then I get a reboot, Neverland style, and it won’t give me all my memories back.”

  “And we’re sure that Jax can’t help us?” John spoke up. “I find it very hard to believe that he was in league with the Devil for so long and can’t take us there or give us more information.”

  Peter-Jax rubbed the back of his neck and went to stare into the fireplace. “I have considered the same thing multiple times and multiple ways. Always believed that he was keeping stuff from me, but even being in the program for a few days and meeting soldiers that have been there a lot longer than me, let’s just say they thrive on secrets and orders, so it’s quite possible there was a lot Jax never knew. I finally understand what Jax meant when he said he couldn’t tell us where they were, and I understand a bit more fully what he went through and the sacrifice he made to keep them off our trail.”

  The room became silent and Peter-Jax scratched his arms, a sign that he was uncomfortable cohabitating with Jax.