Becoming God

by Trilok Nath Pandey

  The seating arrangements in the gents’ enclosure were made strictly as per the protocol. A son-in-law being entitled to the highest status in the hierarchy was to occupy the first seat of the first row. That was why Maharshi Kashyap was sitting haughtily there, foregoing his accommodation among the Saptarishis. The seat next to him, earmarked for Shiv, was vacant. When enquired by some invitees about Shiv’s absence, Daksh burst out with bitterness, “That uncultured tribal does not deserve participation in a Vedic yagya.” The whole assembly was stunned; Daksh’s annoyance was inexplicable.

  Sati, who was busy in tittle-tattle with her mother Veerini and eldest sister Aditi, could not notice the outburst of Daksh. Perhaps, the mother and the sister had kept Sati deliberately engaged in talk to keep her attention diverted from Daksh’s derogatory remarks over Shiv’s absence.

  The yagya started. Saptarishis, except Kashyap, were seated around the agni kund, the pit of fire, to officiate as the presiding priests. They were followed by a retinue of several rishis and rishikumars. In front of the kund, King Daksh and Queen Veerini were seated as the yajaman (the performer). Agnidev, the fire god, was invoked by revealing him with friction of wood pieces by the Saptarishis. The court bards were in place to announce the name of the person, with brief description, to facilitate Saptarishis to consign the prayer offerings from him to Agnidev. First offering was jointly from the king and the queen, then from Maharshi Kashyap, the elder son-in-law. Then the bards announced the name of Shiv as the second son-in-law, reading out from the list furnished to them. The list obviously could not have been corrected by striking off Shiv’s name, despite the king’s clear order. Enraged over the apparent indiscretion, the king shouted at the bards, “Stop, fools. I’ve already debarred that tribal from this great Vedic ritual.”

  The squall from the chief performer interrupted the yagya and caused ripples of hushed talks among the guests and audience. Saptarishis made fervent appeals to the king and the audience to keep quiet for the sake of sanctity of the yagya. The commotion attracted the attention of Sati also, despite the efforts to keep her busy in talks by her eldest sister who was left alone in making the efforts, due to Veerini having joined Daksh in the yagya.

  Sati sensed that something scornful of Shiv had arisen in the yagya. Meanwhile, Diti, the second elder sister, rushed to provoke her showing false sympathy, “Hey Sati, how dare they insult your husband?” Sati now fully realized the gravity of the matter, and in a fit of extreme anger, leaped out and roared like a lioness, addressing Daksh, “How dare you insult my husband? He is your son-in-law, and above all he is the Param Purush.”

  Astounded over Sati’s feisty conduct, Daksh shouted back at her, “No, I don’t consider him Param Purush. He is an uncultured tribal of barbarian and abominable traditions. He has no place in great Vedic tradition.”

  “But, he is your son-in-law.” Sati tried to mollify him, regaining her good sense. Daksh’s anger did not relent as he lamented, “Unfortunately. And it is also my misfortune that your conduct is polluted by his company.”

  It was too much for Sati. Her protests and her efforts for compromise were all in vain as Daksh was obdurate, showing no sign of rapprochement. Sati felt cornered with no escape from the situation – alone, hapless and deeply humiliated. Even Veerini and Aditi were mute spectators and did not come to her rescue against the king’s anger. Deeply depressed, Sati wept bitterly, and when unmoved Daksh asked the guards to remove her, she suddenly scampered and jumped into the agnikund of the yagya.

  A great commotion ensued. Veerini hurriedly bent into the agnikund to save Sati. She would also have been charred had rishikumars not been swift in saving her. Meanwhile, some rishikumars removed Sati from fire. She was badly burnt, but was alive and asking constantly for water to drink. The assembly was so angry that it openly abused and condemned Daksh for his conduct. Gannu and Bhero, who were at the tail of the assembly, sprang into action, rushing along with his men to the spot. One man was sent to Rishikesh to apprise Shiv of the incident; another man was tasked to bring a medicine man from Mayawati city. Gannu took to tending Sati, while Bhero with his men charged at Daksh.

  The royal guards frightened over the ferocity of Bhero and his men fled away from the spot under the pretext of intimating the army chief. Saptarishis and rishikumars had already taken to heels. Daksh was being beaten up badly by Bhero and his men.

  Shiv, anxious and agitated, and the medicine man in great hurry, reached the spot almost simultaneously. The medicine man immediately took to treat Sati, while Shiv rushed to rescue Daksh from the wrath of Bhero and his men, rebuking them for their unkind and revengeful conduct. Having consigned badly bruised Daksh to the safety of the royal men, Shiv was attentive to Sati who, having seen him, started crying more stringently, imploring him to save her.

  Sati’s wails maddened Shiv. He pressured the medicine man for quick relief. The medicine man knew that Sati’s end was near, but he was too frightened to reveal it, faced up with constant pressure from Shiv and ferocity of his men. Wishing to send Shiv to a far-off place in order to escape from his imminent wrath and retribution, he advised him to take Sati to a medicine man named Senga Khasi in Kamrup Desh.

  4.10

  Shiv asked his men to cool down and return to Deul, and he, putting wounded and wailing Sati on his shoulder, left immediately for Kamrup Desh. Sati’s incessant howls were so shrill that they wringed Shiv’s heart. He felt an intense longing for Tandav to release his pain, but it was no time to think about his own pain; it was the time for life and death of his most loved one. This spurred him to run at the top of his capacity. His intense love for Sati generated so much energy that he felt as if his legs were wings and he was flying.

  Shiv kept cajoling Sati, assuring her that she would soon be alright from medicine from Senga Khasi. He endeavoured in umpteen ways to pep her up, and tried to beguile her that they would soon be back to Kailash. But Sati continued wailing in pain as if she was not listening to what Shiv was so garrulously talking. After some time, her howling petered out into whimpering and eventually into quiescence. Shiv believed that Sati was at ease with the invigoratingly cool wind and his comforting talk.

  Sati’s silence let Shiv brood over the way how things evolved, culminating in so much suffering to her. Piqued by agony over the turn of events, Shiv babbled to himself like a mad man. He damned Daksh for causing all these pains to Sati, his own daughter. Shiv’s wistful thoughts were interspersed with fond remembrances about how Sati intensely loved him despite hardships of a quirky life with him.

  Meanwhile, Shiv continued with his venture - running, flying, and babbling to himself - so deeply immersed in thoughts of Sati that he was not aware that he was carrying a lifeless body, and the parts of the body had started falling off due to friction with wind.

  Running along the River Lauhitya, Shiv reached next day early morning Kamgiri, the mountain of desire, located on the southern bank of the Lauhitya, in Kamrup Desh. There, he was directed by people, called Garo living in eight huts on a hillock, to go to their neighbours named Khasi who lived in seven huts on an adjacent hillock.

  The Khasis were frightened to see a tall brown man carrying dementedly decaying body of a woman on his shoulder, but sensing the delicate situation and moved by Shiv’s piteous appeals to help him reach Senga, they took him to another hillock where Senga lived alone in a hut. Senga was the Khasi tribe chief, but was venerated by both Khasis and Garos for his magic and miracles, besides being reputed as a great medicine man.

  Senga quickly examined Sati’s body and asked many questions from Shiv. He felt that it was Shiv who needed treatment for his obviously unsound mind, rather than the dead body he was carrying. But, he could not muster courage to disappoint a person having come from such a far place. He rubbed some medicines on Sati’s body and asked Shiv to go to south to Purnagiri for still better treatment. Shiv hurriedly put Sati’s body on his shoulder and moved ahead. In the haste he could not notice that Sati’s yoni, genital
ia, fell on that hill.

  Travelling towards south along the Rushikulya River, Shiv reached Purnagiri, the mountain of contentedness, in Utkal. There he found a village of Sipati community along the river at the foot of the mountain. Some villagers took him to the hilltop where lived a Brahmin, who was reputed for livening up even the most incurable patients with application of curd. The Brahmin, despite being aware that his medicine was of no use to the lifeless body, pasted medicated curd from his pot on Sati’s body for satisfaction of Shiv, and asked him to immediately move to the east, to Neelgiri for the ultimate in treatment. Limping, lifeless breasts fell off from Sati’s body during the treatment there. Unaware, Shiv resumed his onward journey.

  The same day he reached Neelgiri, the blue mountain, which stood along the seashore. There was a small village of Savar tribe on a foothill in the mountain. There Shiv came upon a woman and a man, who claimed to be sister and brother of the man whom Shiv was looking for. They led him to a place outside the village where a short-statured paunchy man of dark complexion with large round eyes was sitting under a neem tree, eating milk and cooked rice from a small bowl. Though a stranger, he surprised Shiv by calling him by his name. Shiv was taken aback when he started feeding him the rice and milk from the same bowl affectionately, without bothering for decorum. Shiv wondered how he partook in the feeding, forgetting the treatment for Sati. After a short while, the paunchy man scoffed at Shiv, “Why have you come to me all along from Himalaya carrying the body of your dead wife?” Shocked at the insinuation Shiv screamed, “Dead? Is she dead? You mean she is no more.”

  “Yes, my dear friend, and nobody dared to tell it to you because they all feared you viewing your intense passion for her”, said the man, further lambasting him, “But, why are you so ensnared by maya, the illusion? You are a great Yogi, the Param Purush, and the Lord himself. Then, why have you deluded yourself and is suffering like an ordinary man for a dead wife? She has never been separate from you. She is your Shakti, the power. None can separate her from you. Awaken, Bholanath, the lord of simpletons!”

  Shiv’s conscience was shaken; he was aroused. He smiled seeing the decayed dead body of Sati, and said to the man, “Thank you, friend Jagannath, for awakening me from the slumber.”

  Nevertheless, Shiv could not leave the dead body there and carried it again on his shoulder, though now aware of the death of Sati, and set off for Deul. The dead body could not withstand the hectic placing here and there and the legs fell off there under the neem tree.

  While returning, Shiv was again ensnared by maya as he wished to take the dead body to Kailash. The decayed body fell apart limb after limb at various places en route to Deul. People hailed Shiv’s passion for Sati and his great enterprise to save her life. Years later, they raised worship places, calling them the Shaktipeeth, the seat of power, at the places where limbs and parts of Sati’s body fell off. They numbered it eighteen; some counted up to fifteen, and there were many who went up to one hundred and eight. They claimed that the places were blessed with fallen body-parts of goddess Sati.

  Chapter five

  Conquering Death

  Back home in Deul, Shiv went straight to Kailash, after a brief interaction with Gannu. At Kailash, Nandi, who had been waiting anxiously for return of Shiv and Sati, was shocked to see Shiv alone. He looked sadly at Shiv, and tears welled up when he knew that Sati would never return.

  Nandi’s grief and empty snowhouse triggered sorrow in Shiv, pushing him under the dark spell of desolation. In disgust and depression, he dismantled the snow-house and threw away the articles Sati had gathered for her household. He was removing everything that evoked the memories of Sati. But his attempts were in vain as he failed to eradicate her memory from his mind. In utter haplessness he wept bitterly. Nandi was a silent onlooker with tears flowing from his eyes. Deeply distressed, Shiv asked Nandi to leave him alone as he needed seclusion. The doubly distressed Nandi had to go down to Anand Kanan, leaving Shiv alone at Kailash.

  When left alone, the thoughts of death started tormenting Shiv’s mind. For long, he sobbed brooding over untimely death of his Ba, cruel ravaging of Dhenu and tragic end of Sati. These deaths were so painful yet so inscrutable to him. Squalls of dreary thoughts arose in his mind: “Why did Ba, Dhenu and Sati die; what happened to them after death; did they live on in some way after death; will they be alone after death; may I meet them again?” He was bewildered to find darkness all around. To make him more distressed, another gust of whirlwind haunted his mind: “Will I also meet the same fate of death; can I decide the moment of death for me; can I control my course after death and go to meet my Ba, Dhenu and Sati?” He was blinded with overwhelming emotions. He was striving hard to get out of darkness: “Is it possible to live forever; can I conquer death?”

  The onslaught of thoughts was so hard and the struggle to overpower it was so fierce that the Third Eye of Shiv opened automatically. He saw a mighty blizzard blowing horrendously, bringing heaps of snow on him. A huge avalanche occurred, posing threat to his life. Undaunted, Shiv was rising high in consciousness and soon was firm in samadhi, the peak of consciousness. Shiv was so hooked to the samadhi that he remained unperturbed by the ferocity of the blizzard or the avalanche. He was still struggling to solve the riddle of death. Suddenly, he saw a tall, black and dreadful person riding a huge black buffalo coming towards him, followed, on foot, by an equally tall, dark and naked woman wearing a garland of human skulls. The buffalo came running to him and would have almost trampled him had he not yelled, “Halt. Who are you?”

  The black person on the buffalo was stunned to see the fearlessness of the man in samadhi. He had not come across all through his grave profession such a fearless person who could dare to order him to halt. His buffalo had never been coerced into obedience by a mortal being. For the first time in his awful career, the black person felt frightened, and the thus-far untrammelled march of his buffalo was stalled. Fear engulfed him, and with trembling legs he dismounted from the buffalo. Mustering courage and wishing to generate ferocity, a requisite element for his profession, he attempted to do justice with his job by trying to roar out a reply, though ridiculously feebly, “I am Kaal, the Time, and reach the living beings to take them away when their time is up. She is my sister Kaali who provides space for the play of life. We together keep the cycle of life and death rolling constantly within the coordinates of time and space. It is my carrier buffalo Agya, the ignorance, who keeps human beings blinded so that they cannot realize my true nature.”

  “Has my time come up for you to come?” asked Shiv tersely.

  “No, you have been focusing on me for long so I had to appear for you,” replied Kaal meekly.

  Almost simultaneously, the buffalo emboldened by dialogue between Shiv and Kaal foolishly mistaking it as the yielding of Shiv to the dreadfulness of Kaal, charged suddenly on Shiv. Kaali, who was plodding slowly, cried in great consternation, “Oh, No, He is our Master - the Mahakaal, the Great Time.” She ran away immediately disappearing from the scene apprehending wrath of Shiv. Shiv, who was enraged at the unprovoked and fiendish aggression by the buffalo, jumped on his feet and kicked the buffalo hard throwing it away to the depth of the mountainous darkness. Kaal, who was left there alone, shrank in utter fear to the size of a toddler.

  Shiv was, by now, in full action and leaped on Kaal dancing ferociously his horrendous Rudra Tandav. Under the thunderous feet of Shiv, Kaal was so short and still that it was reduced to a moment only, losing its flanks of the past and the future. Kaali, the space, having disappeared Shiv was dancing in no-space, having caught Kaal, the Time, in the moment under his feet. Kaal was crying like a helpless child for protection urging Shiv, “Spare me Lord. I am your offspring. Don’t crush me to the finish. I was ignorant not to have recognized you. I was only performing my task assigned by you.”

  The pathetic cries and piteous appeals for help reached the ears of Shiv and his feet stood still immediately under the compulsion of compassion. The oce
an of compassion as he was, he immediately lowered himself down taking Kaal in his embrace and comforted him, “Come on, my boy, I am sorry for punishing you in anger. I can understand that you were accomplishing the work of extinction, the inseparable essential of existence.”

  Assured of protection and appreciation from Shiv, Kaal heaved a sigh of relief and implored him complainingly, “Lord, relieve me of my dreadful job of killing people and causing pain and sorrows to them. I am always viewed with abominable negativity. I am compelled to wear a costume of a dreadful countenance and ride on an equally frightening buffalo to cause fear among people. I am fed up with this deadly work.”

  Shiv comforted Kaal by assuring him to take up his complaint at the right moment. He asked Kaal to go back to his abode, and leave him alone so that he could perform penance and austerity for violating compassion. Shiv, who held compassion for all alike whether good or evil, was remorseful for having lost his cool. Now, he resolved to conquer all passions, including anger. He immediately sat in lotus posture, immersing himself in deep meditation.

  Some people doubt whether it was a real encounter of Shiv with Death, and whether Shiv really got answers to his questions about death. Innumerable others come up emphasizing that it all happened in the consciousness of Shiv while in samadhi, and he envisioned the mystery of death, emerging as Mrityunjay, the Conqueror of Death.

  Chapter Six

  Parvati

  6.1

  King Haimvat ruled the Himalayan kingdom Himachal from Champavati, the capital. The country was rich, and the people were happy. The borders were secure, and the crimes were naught. But the king and his queen, Mena were not happy as they bore no child. All the virtues and austerities, all the prayers to gods and all the blessings from holy men were in vain. The barren queen was much more distressed, cursing herself for not bearing an heir to the king and the country.