“That was incredible…” A satisfied smile formed on my face.
“I love you.” He exhaled sharply, and his eyes locked on mine.
“What?” My stomach did a flip while my heart stopped beating in my chest entirely.
No—don’t say that. Please don’t say that.
7
Hudson
Present day
“Okay, we’ve done all we can do here.” I tossed the fire hose on the ground. “We need to get the truck back to the station in case another call comes in.”
“Yeah.” Preston nodded and hit the button to drain the hose and roll it up. “I’ll call the chief and have him send someone out here to keep an eye on it just in case.”
We were done with the scene. The only thing left was ashes and embers. I hated seeing someone’s life go up in smoke, and I wished there was something we could do to convince the mayor that we needed better equipment. When we got calls to go help out some of the neighboring towns, we didn’t get compensated in any way, and that just put more wear on the aged stuff we were working with. It was frustrating, but it was small-town life. The meager budget wasn’t going to perform any miracles. I had no interest in running for mayor like Preston suggested, and I definitely wasn’t going to become an arsonist. I tossed the keys to Preston once our equipment was on the truck and let him drive back to the station. It wasn’t nearly as exciting as pushing the rig towards an emergency situation, but it was technically his turn to drive, so I didn’t try to argue. I had things on my mind anyway—things that had been distracting me from my job all day long.
“Do you want to grab some food before we head back to the station?” Preston looked over at me as the engine roared to life.
“Yeah, that sounds good.” I nodded quickly.
After five years, Eliza Abner was back in town. I wanted to believe in cosmic karma or fate, but I knew that wasn’t the case. I felt her apprehension when I tried to hug her. I saw the look in her eyes—it wasn't disdain, but it was discomfort. Maybe disdain would have followed if she managed to get over the shock. She definitely wasn’t interested in reliving the good times we had, and I couldn’t really blame her. I fucked it all up—I told her how I really felt when it was supposed to be nothing more than a summer fling. I let myself get caught up in my own emotions, learned things about myself I never knew, and then I acted like a teenager drunk on a fantasy. I could have let it end peacefully and we could have gone our separate ways like we were supposed to, but I had to stare into those beautiful eyes and say the words that still haunted me. Telling Eliza that I loved her was the biggest mistake I ever made because it cost me everything. Those words could never be unsaid. They were uttered so casually after a moment of passion—yet that wasn’t what I got in return.
I just got regret—and more regret once I realize how close I came to actually have her.
* * *
Five years ago
“You did what!?” Preston’s eyes nearly bulged out of his head when I told him why Eliza wasn’t at our house when he got home.
“I don’t know what I was thinking—the moment just felt right. I told her I loved her.” I sighed and shook my head angrily. “I fucked it all up.”
“We understood where this was going!” Preston’s immediate shock faded, and his blood started to boil—I knew that look, but it had rarely ever been directed at me. “You agreed with me!”
“I know.” I walked over to the table where our Dad kept his best liquor on display in decanters. “It was a mistake.”
“I asked you at the gym if you were falling for her. You said you weren’t.” Preston grumbled under his breath.
“Again—I know.” I opened up one of the decanters and poured a glass of whiskey.
I fucking know.
The night after Preston and I shared Eliza for the first time, I told him that I wanted to see her again. He was against the idea at first, but he finally agreed that it wasn’t the worst idea in the world. I had been struggling with my feelings, but I buried them. I buried them inside me just like I buried most of my desires. There was a piece of me that was missing—something that I never allowed myself to tap into. I liked the feeling of control and dominance. I knew it was probably manifested and rooted beneath the surface because I spent a lifetime being Preston Anderson’s brother. He was the alpha male at Andalusia High School because he was the quarterback of the football team. It never upset me that he got the glory, but there was a piece of me that needed to flourish. I finally saw what those desires craved when I was alone with Eliza. Tasting it for the first time pulled the words out of me that I wanted to say—and it was the worst thing I could have done at that moment.
“Well, I guess you’ve fucked it up now.” Preston walked over and poured a glass of whiskey that matched the one I was sipping. “Maybe it’s better that it ends this way.”
“Maybe…” I sighed and lifted the whiskey to my lips again.
“She’s got a scholarship to a college in California. She wants to get out of Andalusia as bad as I do. Are you really going to let some childhood crush stand in the way of that? It isn’t fair to her.” Preston shrugged, gulped his glass of whiskey, and immediately poured another one.
“Suddenly you’re concerned about her?” I turned towards him and scoffed. “You probably won’t even remember her name once you leave.”
“I mean, I like her.” Preston shrugged and walked over to sit down with his glass of whiskey. “There’s just so much more to this world than Andalusia. That’s why you should come with me to college—see what’s out there, man.”
“I guess you’re the expert.” I exhaled sharply and sat down across from him.
“You wouldn’t believe it if I told you. My eyes were really opened this weekend. College is going to be a lot of fun. The girls? Shit, man. It’s going to be four years of going balls deep in a different girl every night.” Preston grinned and sipped his whiskey.
“So, it’s going to be no different than high school?” I tilted my head to the side. “Why leave home? You can get that here.”
“It’s different man…” He sighed. “It’s just different.”
“Yeah, I guess so.” I stared at him and shook my head angrily.
I shouldn’t have expected any less from my brother. Of fucking course, he spent one weekend at the University of Alabama and all he could focus on was how much pussy he would be getting. That was just the kind of guy he had become. I always knew he was self-centered, and it was slightly charming when we were younger, but real life was happening right in front of us. Eliza was going to leave, and he didn’t seem to give a fuck. He was just angry that he wasn’t going to have her in bed with us anymore. He definitely took after our father, but I didn’t know if there was enough decency inside him to do the right thing if he was faced with the same choices. Unfortunately, as much as I hated to admit it, some of what he said was right. It wasn’t fair to hold Eliza back from her dreams. I was a small town guy who was happy with that, but her dreams were bigger than Andalusia.
Maybe Preston is right and I’m the fool.
8
Eliza
Present day
“Okay, so we’ve got a wedding dress, a venue, a reception hall, invitations—what are we missing?” I sat down in Melanie’s living room and looked over at her.
“Tomorrow we go and pick out a cake.” She grinned from ear-to-ear. “That means we have to sample everything in the store to make sure we get the right one!”
“I like the sound of that.” I nodded and put my hand on my stomach. “Probably because I’m starving right now.”
“Let’s order out!” Eliza reached over and picked up her phone.
“I’m not really in the mood for pizza.” I wrinkled my nose.
“How about Chinese?” Eliza looked up at me.
“Wait, Andalusia has a Chinese restaurant that delivers now? Seriously?” My eyebrows went up in shock.
“Yep! See, not everything is awful here.
” She grinned again and tapped her phone. “Do you still like Sesame Chicken?”
“You remember.” I chuckled and nodded. “Yeah, that would be awesome. Do they have fried rice?”
“The best!” Melanie lifted the phone to her ear.
Melanie ordered some Chinese food and we started a romantic comedy movie on Netflix while we waited. It was nearly an hour before the food actually arrived, but Melanie was right—the fried rice was really good. By the time we got finished, I was stuffed, and we lounged around in a food coma while we finished the movie. I used to love romantic comedies when I lived in Andalusia. They were a reflection of the potential of love. I hadn’t really enjoyed them much after I left—probably because I didn’t have Melanie there to critique the plot with me and point out all the flaws. They also didn’t resonate any form of reality for me. I couldn’t even pretend that Prick Charming was going to show up with all his flaws and beg me to turn his motorcycle into a white horse, so we could ride away into the sunset once he realized he was a Prince underneath that rough exterior. That wasn’t reality because real life was nothing like the movies. Real life was full of hurt, heartbreak, and nothing could be easily wrapped up in a bow to roll the damn credits. The turmoil just kept going—and going.
“Okay.” I yawned after the movie was over. “I think I’m going to turn in early.”
“It’s barely nine o’clock!” Melanie looked at me in confusion. “Aren’t you on West Coast time anyway? It’s like late afternoon for you…”
“I go to bed early pretty often.” I raised an eyebrow.
Not seven o’clock early, but I need some time to work on my resume.
“Alright, fine. I should go to bed early anyway. I need as much energy as I can get for all the cake we have to eat tomorrow!” She grinned and nodded.
I retired to the bedroom I was staying in and opened my laptop. My resume was in pretty good shape, but I still made a few edits before looking around online for some potential employers. I really didn’t have any limitations when it came to relocating, but I wanted something as far from Andalusia as possible, even if it didn’t take me all the way to the Pacific Ocean again. I started my educational adventure pursuing a Business Management degree, but after the first semester, I added some Marketing and Advertising courses because I wanted to expand my options. If a company had an opening, I wanted to be able to bring something to the table that was beneficial. I spent my whole life feeling like I couldn’t control the world around me, and college gave me an opportunity to make sure my life was different after I graduated.
But first I have to find a freaking job.
My heart was still wounded when I started college, and that caused me to retreat inside my shell for a while. It was no different than high school, except I didn’t dress like a goth and I got my natural hair color back. After Preston and Hudson saw through the disguise, I didn’t really feel like it mattered much anymore. A few guys asked me out, but I turned them all down until Junior year when I had a brief relationship with a guy named Jeff. He was sweet, but I was too scared of having my heart broken again to let him get close. I dated a couple of guys during my Senior year, but I ran into the same complications. The scars that the Anderson brothers left on my heart soured my soul. I thought they were the answer to my prayers, but I was wrong. Trusting them proved to be my undoing—and truthfully, I wasn’t sure if I would ever recover.
* * *
Five years ago
My first instinct when Hudson said he loved me was to run. It scared me. I was shaking when I got to my car and still shaking a few hours later when I sat alone in my room at my foster family’s house. I couldn’t deny that I was attracted to both Anderson brothers and the things we did when we were together created an emotional connection, but I never expected it to turn into love. Preston was leaving at the end of the summer and so was I. Hudson was going to stay in Andalusia and become a firefighter like his father. Our paths were laid out in front of us long before I gave in to temptation at the graduation party. I let them take my innocence, but I held onto my heart. Giving that away was terrifying because it had been trampled on every time I dared to believe in something stronger than what was directly in front of me.
I didn’t need a relationship to know how cruel the world could be. After my parents died, I was a difficult child. I acted out because it was the only way that I could express the hurt I was feeling. A few of the people that fostered me in the early days were looking for an addition to their family, but I wasn’t looking for a new family—I just wanted my old one back. I got bounced around several times in those days, and by the time I opened my heart to the possibility of staying with one family for the rest of my life, I never found one that was interested in adopting me. My age played a big factor in that, and as I got older, the only families that were willing to foster me were the ones that wanted a check from the government every month. If they would have told me that up front, I wouldn’t have let myself believe it could be anything more than an arrangement that provided a bed and three meals a day. I really liked a few of those families, but it never lasted.
“Eliza, are you okay?” My current foster mother, a nice older lady named Linda, pushed open my bedroom door.
“Yeah.” I wiped away a tear that was trying to form in the corner of my eye. “I’m fine.”
“You didn’t seem like you were fine when you came home.” She walked into my bedroom and sat down on the edge of the bed. “Does this have anything to do with all the late hours you’ve been keeping? I assume there’s a boy to blame.”
“Something like that.” I sighed and nodded.
“I know I’m not your mother, and I would never try to replace her, but you can talk to me if you need to.” She reached over and squeezed my hand. “I was your age once.”
“He said he loves me.” I shook my head back and forth.
“Isn’t that a good thing?” Linda tilted her head to the side.
“I don’t know…” The tears refused to be wiped away, and they welled up in my eyes.
“It’s been difficult for you. I realize that. No kid should be shuffled around as much as you have. I hope it hasn’t hardened your heart—because it’s okay to love someone.” She squeezed my hand again.
“Even if it changes everything?” I wiped my eyes and turned my head towards her. “I’ve had a plan since I was a kid.”
“Yes, and you’ve got a great opportunity in California, but if you were able to get a scholarship to a school out there, I’m sure you could get one here if you really wanted to.” She released my hand and wrapped her arms around me. “Listen to your heart—it will always lead you in the right direction.”
That would have been easy if my heart wasn’t in turmoil—if it didn’t stop beating the second Hudson said he loved me. Deep down, I did want to believe in love. I wanted to embrace trust. The Anderson brothers had done more to change my perspective on life in two months than eighteen years had done before them. But was that worth the risk? I wasn’t oblivious to the reality of the situation. I was just a girl they hooked up with on graduation night that they wanted to keep fucking. I liked the intimacy and closeness, so I clung to it because I never had it before. That wasn’t love though. That was just a damaged girl looking for comfort and finding it in lust. Could it become something more? Was it worth forgetting my plans, staying in Andalusia, and trying to make it work with the Anderson brothers? Hudson loved me, but I wasn’t sure Preston felt the same way. I knew enough about Preston Anderson from high school to know that he was only interested in one thing, but I had seen a different side of him when we were together.
I guess I need to try and talk to them before I make a decision that will impact all of our lives.
* * *
The next day
The reality was that I did care about Preston and Hudson. It might have started with seduction, but it had grown into something more. I allowed myself to become vulnerable and whether I liked it or not, they did push pa
st my shell—they did open my heart. I thought about what Linda said to me—about all the plans I had to leave Andalusia. There were bad memories in the small town I grew up in, but I had created a lot of good ones while I was with Preston and Hudson. If there was a chance that I could find the kind of love and acceptance I dreamed about my whole life, then perhaps I shouldn’t leave. Perhaps I should let myself be even more vulnerable and put my trust in someone else. I spent the whole night lost in my thoughts, and when morning came, I decided that I was willing to take a risk—I was willing to consider that life in Andalusia wasn’t impossible. It was more than just a want. It had become a need—one that I didn’t recognize until Hudson said the words that changed my perspective.
“I didn’t think I would see you again.” Preston opened the front door and stepped back. “Come on in.”
“I guess that means Hudson told you?” I looked up at him once the door was closed.
“Yes, he told me.” Preston sighed and shook his head. “I’m sorry that he had to become such a fucking lush.”
“It’s okay.” I nodded slowly. “I was hoping to talk to you both. Is he here?”
“He’s in the shower.” Preston motioned towards the stairs. “What do you want to talk to us about?”
Sizzle & Share: A MFM Firefighter Romance (Surrender to Them Book 9) Page 6