by Holly Martin
Had he ruined everything when he’d pushed for a divorce a year later, as they’d agreed? Although judging by Bea’s happy smile right now, she seemed to be coping fine with just the two of them.
Bea caught him looking at her and smiled. ‘I wanted to ask you something actually, without Skye being here.’
‘Oh, sure.’
‘Why did you divorce her?’
His heart sank. ‘Because we agreed on a year, you know that. It wasn’t a real marriage, it was an arrangement.’
‘But you love each other.’
‘Bea, that’s not—’
‘She loves you, she told me she does.’
Crap, why would Skye tell Bea that knowing that his daughter would get her hopes up for a big romantic reunion?
‘It’s not that kind of love. She’s my best friend, we love each other as friends.’
God, it sounded so feeble to his own ears. If he couldn’t convince himself, how could he convince Bea?
‘She said she never wanted to divorce you, that she changed her mind about ending it after a year but you didn’t.’
What the hell had Skye been saying to Bea? She shouldn’t be talking to his daughter about this. Had she decided that if he wasn’t going to tell his daughter about them, then she would take matters into her own hands?
‘I’m not the bad guy here, I married Skye as a favour to her. It’s not my fault that she wanted more.’
Had Skye really wanted to stay married? It made his chest ache that he’d hurt Skye in this way.
‘I know there’s something more than friendship between you and Skye, and so do you, so why did you divorce her?’ Bea said.
‘We don’t need anyone else, we’re fine as we are,’ Jesse said.
‘It’s not about need, it’s about want.’
‘That sounds like something you’ve read in your mom’s self-help books.’
‘There’s some good stuff in there amongst a lot of the crap,’ Bea said. ‘You and Skye made each other happy. And really, happiness is the one thing we all need and want in our lives.’
Jesse was going to take those damn self-help books straight down the thrift store when he got back home.
‘If you ask her to marry you again, she’ll say yes,’ Bea went on.
‘Did she say that too?’
Bea shrugged. ‘Kind of.’
He really needed to talk to Skye about all this and preferably without flapping ears.
He hit the brakes.
‘Bea, would you mind nipping down to the village to get some more milk? I think we’ve bled Skye dry since we arrived, and umm… get some bananas and croissants too.’
He handed her some cash.
‘Oh, sure. Can I get some of that English bacon too? I love that stuff.’
‘Yeah, no problem,’ Jesse said.
Bea took the money and ran off in the direction of the village. So much for feeling tired.
Jesse turned the buggy round and drove back towards the café. What was Skye playing at, didn’t she realise how inappropriate it was to be talking to Bea about all this?
He marched into the café and straight into the kitchen.
Skye was sitting at her little desk in the corner, staring at the phone clutched in her hand.
‘What the hell have you been saying to Bea?’
Skye looked up in confusion and for a split second he thought he saw worry in her eyes before she stood up to face him and the look had gone.
‘Oh Jesse, you know what your daughter is like, she’s a persistent little thing.’
‘You don’t have to give in to her. Did you really tell her you were in love with me?’
Skye sighed. ‘What would you want me to say when she asks me if I am?’
‘I would hope you wouldn’t say something that would get her hopes up. She thinks we’re going to get married again and live as one big happy family.’
‘She wants that anyway, that has nothing to do with what I said to her.’
Skye stalked past him and finished creating a strawberry sundae for one of the customers.
‘That’s not going to happen.’
‘That’s what I told her. I said, no matter how hard you wish for something, it doesn’t always happen. Believe me, I know.’
‘But now she thinks the divorce was my fault.’
‘It was your fault,’ Skye rounded on him. ‘If it had been up to me, we’d still be married, maybe even trying for our own baby right about now. I wanted forever and all you wanted me for was sex.’
He stared at her in shock. Did she really have no idea what he felt for her?
He suddenly became painfully aware that someone else was in the kitchen with them. He turned to see Izzy, one of the young waitresses, staring at them with wide eyes.
‘Sorry to interrupt,’ Izzy stammered, her cheeks turning pink. ‘I wasn’t sure if you were working tonight, Jesse, it’s just that Sylvia has asked for your special pancakes.’
He pushed down his anger and frustration because he sure as hell wasn’t going to yell at a teenage girl.
‘That’s fine, Izzy, I’ll do that now.’
Skye picked up the strawberry sundae and walked out the kitchen.
Christ, he really needed to talk to her.
Skye stared up at her bedroom ceiling hoping somehow that the faded white paintwork might give her all the answers.
She hated this angst between her and Jesse. They had such limited time together, she didn’t want to spend it fighting with him.
They hadn’t spoken throughout the evening rush and when he and Bea had left shortly after the restaurant had closed, she had delayed going home, finding things that needed cleaning which really didn’t. When she’d finally got back, Jesse and Bea were playing some boardgame and she’d made her excuses and headed straight to bed. Bea had gone to bed herself a while after and Jesse hadn’t joined Skye like he normally would.
Skye traced a crack on the ceiling right to the corner, seeing how it splintered off into various paths. One was bigger and had a smaller crack that ran parallel to it, while another crack had broken off from the main one and was reaching over to the other side of the room. She wondered if it was representative of her relationship with Jesse; were they on different paths too?
She replayed their argument in her head for the hundredth time. When she’d talked about Bea wanting them to get married and be a family again, Jesse had said that wasn’t going to happen. Skye had been holding out hope, just like Bea always had, that if she told him she loved him, he might say it back, that maybe, just maybe one day they would get married again, but it didn’t seem like that would ever happen. She wiped a tear away from her cheek.
She rolled onto her side and saw the empty bed next to her. This wasn’t helping. She rolled over to face the wall. But sleep was very far away right now.
There was another reason she couldn’t sleep. The phone call she’d received just before Jesse had stormed into the kitchen had completely thrown her and she couldn’t stop thinking about it.
She plumped up her pillow, trying to force it out of her mind and go to sleep but it wasn’t happening.
Regardless of what was going on between her and Jesse, whether they had any kind of future or not, he was still her friend and she really needed him right now.
She got up and padded downstairs into the dark lounge. Jesse was lying on his back on the sofa, the duvet around his waist, moonlight streaming in through the open curtains. He was wide awake too.
He glanced over at her as she appeared in the doorway. ‘Hey.’
‘Hey,’ she said, softly. ‘Listen, I know you’re still mad at me and I get it, I really do. I shouldn’t have said those things to Bea. And we really need to talk about… us… about all of this but not now. I had a phone call tonight that has messed with my head and I could really do with a cuddle right now.’
Jesse immediately held up the duvet for her to join him and she almost sighed with relief. She climbed in next to him and
he shifted around so he was on his side, facing her. He wrapped his arms around her, holding her tight against him. His eyes were filled with concern and she leaned up and touched his face, relishing the feel of his beard under her fingers. God, she loved this man. He had every right to be pissed off at her and his complete kindness and compassion right now when he should be pushing her away floored her.
‘Who was the phone call from?’
She let out a heavy breath. ‘Dr Lomax, our family doctor. She saw Clover and Angel today about their baby. Clover wanted to discuss her concerns with her about my recurring miscarriages and whether it could impact on her.’
‘And?’
‘Dr Lomax reassured her everything was most likely fine, that the likelihood of there being any kind of chromosomal abnormality that we might have inherited from our parents is very very rare. She thinks the chances of Clover miscarrying are probably the same as any other couple. Clover feels a lot happier about it all now.’
‘But you don’t?’
‘I don’t think I’ll stop worrying until that baby is born fit and healthy and strong.’
‘So why is Dr Lomax phoning you about all this?’
‘She wants to do some tests on me. One of the local hospital colleges on the mainland is doing a new research study into recurring miscarriages and she wants to see if I have any issues that might have caused my miscarriages.’ She let out a hollow laugh. ‘She actually said that if me and you are trying for a baby at some point, it would be best to be forewarned about any potential issues. I didn’t have the heart to tell her we didn’t have that kind of relationship, that there’d never be any babies for us.’
God that hurt to say that out loud. There had always been a glimmer of hope for her that one day she and Jesse would have a proper relationship but the last few days had really brought it home to her that that was never going to happen.
‘Skye…’ Jesse’s eyes were soft.
She shifted her hand from his cheek, tracing a thumb over his lips to silence him. She didn’t want to talk about that now.
‘I don’t want to know if there’s anything wrong with me. I kind of accepted a long time ago that I may never have a child of my own, but there’s always been hope. If I go for these tests and they tell me I can never have children then they’re taking that hope away from me and I don’t want to face that.’
‘Skye, if having children is something you really want to do, then these tests are important. If there is anything wrong – and I think that’s a big if considering what Dr Lomax told Clover about how rare it is – but if there is, there might be treatments or medications they can give you to help. But also these tests could help your sister too. If something is flagged up that Clover could potentially have as well, at least they are prepared for it and can keep an eye on it throughout her pregnancy.’
‘That’s what Dr Lomax said too. And of course I’ll go tomorrow, anything I can do to help Clover, obviously I’ll do it, I’m just a little scared of what they’ll find.’
‘I get that. Sometimes it feels like it’s better not to know. But I’ll go with you, I’ll hold your hand while she takes blood or does any kind of tests and then we can ask her questions together.’
Skye stared at him. That hugely generous offer felt so contradictory from where they were in their relationship. Going to the doctor together to look at whether Skye could have children felt like something a happily married couple would do. But she wasn’t going to turn him down.
‘Thank you. I don’t deserve you.’
He sighed. ‘You deserve a lot better than me. Listen, about before—’
She trailed her fingers across his lips again to stop him talking. ‘Let’s not do that now. I’m tired and I’d quite like to fall asleep wrapped in your arms and pretend that all is right with the world.’
He nodded and kissed her on the forehead. With his arms around her, he rolled onto his back, shifting her onto his front. She lay with her head on his chest, listening to the steady thump of his heart as he stroked her hair. She closed her eyes, drifting off to sleep with a smile on her face.
Chapter Ten
Jesse woke up as sunlight poured through the open curtains. He held his eyes tightly shut for a moment, wanting sleep to take him again, wanting to stay here with Skye wrapped in his arms forever. Although he knew that Bea would probably be up soon so this moment couldn’t last.
As he became more awake, he became more aware of Skye’s soft breath on his bare chest, the wonderful feeling of her warmth against his body, the sweet coconut scent of her surrounding him. This was bliss, but he couldn’t help feeling completely turned on at the same time. There was something about Skye that he simply could not get enough of, but he didn’t want to wake her up with the inappropriate reactions of his body.
She stirred in his arms and he stroked her hair, letting the golden silk slip through his fingers. She kissed his chest, sleepily, and then let her hand wander down towards his shorts. Christ, they couldn’t do this here, Bea would be up soon. Jesse opened his eyes to check his watch. Maybe they had time to sneak back up to her room and do this properly.
Movement caught his eye across the lounge and his heart leapt as he spotted Bea, curled up in the armchair, her headphones on as she listened to music, reading her book while she ate her cereal.
He caught Skye’s hand before it went any further and she looked up at him with confusion, blinking sleepily.
Crap, crap, crap. There was no way that Bea hadn’t seen that he was cuddled up on the sofa with Skye. He wanted to explain, but what possible words could he find to justify this? Except, Bea didn’t seem remotely bothered at all.
He turned his attention back to Skye, who was looking hurt by his rejection. He inclined his head in Bea’s direction. Skye peered over her shoulder and her face fell when she saw Bea.
‘Oh, god, I’m so sorry, I should have gone back to bed hours ago,’ Skye whispered and the look of horror on her face made him feel like scum. He hated that she felt embarrassed about being caught together when they weren’t actually doing anything wrong. He had created this mess, this secrecy, this sneaking around, and it was about time that he bloody well fixed it.
‘It’s fine.’
Skye made to get up, but Jesse held her in place.
‘I think us getting up now is going to scar Bea for life. She doesn’t need to see that,’ he gestured to where her hand had been heading moments before.
Skye giggled and glanced back over to Bea again, who was seemingly none the wiser that this conversation was going on. The tinny sound of the music drifted from her headphones as she turned another page on her book, clearly riveted to the story.
He released Skye’s hand under the duvet and to his surprise she moved it slowly across his stomach, thankfully not downwards but skimming the top of his shorts nonetheless. God, her touch was enough to drive him insane. He stared at her incredulously and he nearly laughed at the look of mischief in her eyes.
Bea finished her cereal and uncurled herself from the chair. Noticing that they were awake, she pulled her headphones off.
‘Morning,’ Bea said, still seemingly completely unfazed by her father’s predicament.
‘Hello,’ Skye said, clearly suppressing a giggle.
‘I’m going to see the seals at Jade Harbour,’ Bea said.
‘OK,’ Jesse said. He had nothing else he could say right then. He didn’t know whether to excuse it, apologise for it, explain it, or just act like this was perfectly acceptable. Bea seemed completely comfortable with it. He cleared his throat. ‘Come to the café for lunch.’
‘OK, I’ll catch you later.’
With that she grabbed her bag, gave them both a wave and left. He waited a moment or two, frozen to the spot in case she came back, but through the window he watched her running down the track towards the village and the harbour.
‘Oops,’ Skye giggled.
He rolled her so she fell against the back of the sofa and she let out a s
hriek of laughter as she toppled off him. He tugged her t-shirt over her head and threw it across the room. ‘You think that’s funny?’
‘It is a little,’ Skye laughed.
He placed kisses across her breast and the laughter was replaced with a gasp of need, her hand cupping the back of his head. He ran his tongue across her nipple and she arched against him.
‘Jesse, Christ…’
He pushed her shorts off, sliding his hand up her leg. She felt divine, so soft and warm. He moved his mouth to her shoulder and neck as he slipped his hand between her legs. She gasped against his lips as he kissed her. He touched and caressed and within seconds she was moaning against his lips and trembling in his arms.
God, he needed her so much right now.
He leaned over to grab his jeans and wrestled a condom from his pocket. He rolled on his back for a second to put it on, but as soon as he had Skye quickly clambered up, straddling him and taking him deep inside her. He groaned at the feel of her, putting his hands to her hips as he took in the wonderful sight of Skye sitting astride him. She looked magnificent. His eyes scanned down her body. Was it his imagination or were her breasts slightly bigger? Although it could just be their current position. They didn’t have sex like this very often. Skye loved sex when he was on top so more often than not they did it like that.
He ran his hands over them and she let out a little breath of desire as she moved against him. She was so responsive to him and he loved that, it was almost as if they were made for each other. Her little rolls of her hips, her gentle caress across his chest as she held onto him for support drove him wild. Sex had never ever been this good with anyone else.
He sat up and cupped her face in his hands, kissing her deeply. She paused in her movements, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him back.
He pulled back to look at her. ‘This is more than just sex between us, you know that?’
