Life After: The Complete Series
Page 21
She looked up at Gabriel. “Can you take a few of us back? The rest can stay and finish.”
“Of course.”
He spread his wings so we had a spot to grasp. Romona was the only one who would come within a three-foot radius of me. I felt a little silly with the fiery sword in my hand, but I didn’t know what other choice I had. After touching the soft angel wing, we were back in an instant.
Word spread just as quickly as it had when Logan and I escaped the demon. Except this time, rather than mobbing me, no one wanted to talk to me. Hunters gave me a wide berth and avoided my eyes as I trekked through the training center. It was bizarre.
The sword’s fire had blessedly gone out the moment we returned to our realm. And it was a good thing, too, because I may have singed some of Gabriel’s wing on the way back. If he noticed he didn’t say, and I was too embarrassed to ask.
I’d left the sword in my room this morning in hopes the atmosphere would return to normal. Seeing the averted glances and whispers that trailed me, I knew it had not.
It was actually Logan’s reaction the night before that was the most worrisome. Both of my trips to Earth thus far had been eventful. But this second trip had Logan more shaken up than the first, and that was saying something.
At dinner with Romona and a few of our friends, I spent most of the time pushing food around my plate and sneaking glances at Logan as if he were a barometer. I was around him so much I was beginning to pick up subtle changes in his guarded expression. And he looked worried—so that made me worry.
This morning I’d woken up with another stomach full of knots. As reluctant as I was, I needed to know more about that sword.
I pushed open the gym doors to find Logan staring at the weapons wall. Everything about his stance was rigid. He was running his hands over the hilts of different swords and didn’t acknowledge my presence. Heading to the bench, I dropped my bag.
“You know we’re going to have to step up your sword training now.”
I figured that.
“At least it’s not my worst skill. Fiery nunchakus would have been a problem.”
He half-turned with a slight smile on his face. Fencing and swordplay did come somewhat easier to me than some of the other weapons. Unfortunately, that wasn’t saying much.
“Logan, we need to talk.”
“Is that so?” One eyebrow rose. The rest of his face was the same as always. Emotionless.
I crossed the distance to him in a few purposeful steps, for once able to match his serious expression. I made sure to keep our customary distance. After discovering the potential damage from our shared kiss, I was only too happy to keep the tradition going.
“You need to tell me what’s going on.”
His eyes roamed my face without settling. Worry crept into his eyes before he captured my own with his steely gaze.
“Would you believe me if I told you I wasn’t sure?”
There was a time I wouldn’t have, but now I did. “Yes.”
He quietly released the air from his lungs.
“But that doesn’t mean you can’t tell me what you do know, or at least what you think you might know.”
Logan regarded me before answering. “I suppose that’s only fair.”
I was slightly taken aback at the ease with which he acquiesced. I had been prepared for another battle.
He turned from me to grab a sword from the wall. It was a large, sturdy blade, probably twice the girth and length of the Cherubim sword safely tucked in my room. Studying it, he continued, “I think we should take this lesson out of the training center today. A little bit of fresh air might be good.”
He turned his gaze back to me. “Let’s pick that sword of yours up on the way.”
Thirty minutes later I was using the already infamous sword to cut a path through the forest. Logan had picked a trail where the foliage was so incredibly dense I could hardly take a step without getting tangled. The topography resembled a jungle more than forest.
Logan navigated with ease. He only had to slash with his sword every now and then to maneuver forward, where I had to hack everything in my way to do the same. Glaring at his back, I’d just begun to grumble when I tripped on a vine. I yelped and threw my free arm out to try to catch myself. Logan did a quick turn, and I fell face-first into his chest. He tried to steady me, but instead we both went crashing into the underbrush.
I landed square on top of Logan and heard the air whoosh out of his chest when he absorbed the impact of both the ground and me. We were a tangle of arms and legs. I squirmed to get off of him and realized the offensive vine was still securely wrapped around my ankle.
Logan was a statue beneath me. My face was squished into his chest. He smelled like fresh laundry and wooded pine. I tried to roll off, but we were wedged rather tightly between thick thorny vines, roots, and underbrush. My movement only managed to get us more snared.
“Will you just give me a second?” Logan’s voice rumbled in his chest.
“My gosh, Logan, I’m so sorry. I think I tripped on a vine or something, and I’m still caught. Oh no . . . I dropped the sword.” I tried to swivel my head even though it was still squished to his chest. “It has to be around here somewhere.”
I took my hand off his chest to brace myself on the ground and push off him. As soon as my hand connected to the ground, pain shot into my palm.
“Ouch!” I quickly yanked it back to discover I’d impaled it on a thorn. A small droplet of blood was starting to form.
“How bad is it?”
I glanced up from my hand to see Logan mere inches from my face. Or rather, I was mere inches from him. He was staring at my hand.
When I didn’t answer, his eyes made their way back to my face. A physical awareness skated down my spine when our eyes locked. Despite the low light, the blue in his eyes was electrifyingly bright. My pulse picked up speed. Neither of us said anything. I licked my lips and inadvertently drew Logan’s attention from my eyes. My forearms were being used to prop myself only slightly off his chest.
Logan’s arms moved gently to my lower back. Then one slid up to apply the faintest amount of pressure, bringing me ever so slightly closer to him. My eyes started to slide shut as Logan’s breath tickled my cheeks. I smelled peppermint, just as I remembered. Without a coherent thought in my head I leaned in closer, and then . . .
“Audrey, you need to get off of me now.”
It was like being doused with a bucket full of ice water. My eyes snapped open. Logan wasn’t looking at me any longer. Instead, his eyes were staring at the canopy above my head. His arms had melted from my back, or had never been there at all, and were instead pressed firmly against the forest floor. His face was hidden in the shadows.
I sucked in a quick breath of air and frantically searched for the fastest way to get off him. I pulled again at my leg and found that the vine had magically unwrapped itself from my ankle. “I just, uh, need to figure out where to put my foot.” The urge to ramble bore down on me.
Please let my hair be a normal shade.
“You should be able to put one on either side of my left leg and use the saplings around us to pull yourself up.” He was still staring straight up, and his voice was succinct and to the point.
“Oh right, yeah.” I struggled to rock back on my feet with the least amount of physical contact possible, taking care not to knee him anywhere important. When I steadied myself on my knees, Logan wasted no time scooting out from underneath me and righting himself. In fact, he was so fast about it he was standing before I straightened myself. Taking a cue from Logan, I looked anywhere but at him.
“My sword has to be around here somewhere. I dropped it when I tripped.” Something reflected the sun to my left. I took a few careful steps and located the weapon lying in a small patch of sunlight among some mushrooms.
“Whoops!” Picking it up I brushed off dirt and mushroom grime, being careful not to cut myself. “Doesn’t look too much worse for the wear.”
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“Okay then, let’s get going. We’re almost there.”
Logan had retrieved his sword as well and was waiting for me, facing the other direction. His pace was slower than before, and he took more care to clear a path for me.
I tried to concentrate on the cleared path rather than what had just happened, but it was difficult. What had just happened? Had Logan almost kissed me? Had I almost kissed him? Did I have a hallucination and then Logan got too uncomfortable with me invading his personal space? I almost wished I had brushed some of his skin to get a read on what he was thinking. Then I cringed at the thought, because it meant Logan would have picked up on my emotions as well.
I was so absorbed in my own thoughts that the break in the forest took me by surprise. I stumbled into a clearing. Everything was bathed in gold. I put my hand up to my brow and opened my eyes further, looking first at my feet. I was standing on something soft. The breath in my throat caught as I extended my gaze from the ground up.
The clearing, although not large, was covered in hundreds—perhaps thousands—of small golden flowers. They were so densely grown that it looked like a carpet of gold had been laid out for us. I inhaled the sweetest smell imaginable, the essence of everything sugary, warm, and cozy. I don’t know how a smell can be cozy, but this one was. The scent filled my lungs.
I lowered my hand and took in the beauty before us. I had the urge to run into the middle and create a snow angel in the flowers. A soft breeze blew my ponytail over my shoulder, and a soothing wave of calm enveloped me.
I had a vague recollection that Logan was here somewhere, but it was barely a concern. Inexplicably, in that moment I felt loved, cherished, and protected. All feelings I craved.
Logan wasn’t looking at me. He had closed his eyes and was breathing in the same air I was. “This is the place I come when I want to be alone with God.” What, God’s around here somewhere? I quickly looked around, but it was just the two of us in the field of gold. I was inexplicitly disappointed.
“Does it only work if you are by yourself? You know, being alone with God.” I blushed. Stupid question. Of course you can only be alone with God if you are actually alone.
But Logan just smiled. “It’s not like that. It’s more like a still, small voice right here.” He laid his hand on his chest. “And a feeling of well-being despite whatever else is happening. Getting alone and away from everything is important. Sometimes He speaks in the silence.”
I let Logan’s words sink in. “I think I might know what you mean.”
Logan was describing what was happening to me, minus the voice in his head, or chest, or whatever. An overwhelming sense of peace settled on me even as I continued to breathe the sweet air. I wondered if it was specific to this exact place. Was there a part of God manifested in this field? Was that even possible? Was this what Gabriel meant when he talked about seeking out God?
“I think it’s time we talk more about this sword.” Logan broke my train of thought. I’d almost forgotten about the heavy weight in my hand. “Come on, let’s sit down over here.”
He walked to a small knoll and sat. He looked relaxed. It reminded me of when we were on the beach. He spread his legs out in front of him and leaned back against his arms, bending his head back to soak in the warmth. I came to a seat a few feet away and carefully laid the sword between the two of us.
Logan seemed content to sit in silence. Perhaps having a silent conversation with himself. A pleasant one, because with his eyes closed and his face raised, he smiled. Time stretched on.
I waited until I couldn’t wait anymore and cleared my throat. The sense that he was having a conversation was so intense that I felt awkward barging into his thoughts.
“Okay, Audrey, I know you’re still there.” He languidly opened his eyes and took another deep breath before adjusting his body so that he faced me.
“So, the sword. What questions do you have?”
I almost didn’t know where to start. Why are people treating me differently now? What does the sword do? What does it mean about me? Why me? I had to start somewhere. “Tell me more about the Cherubim.”
Logan appeared relieved that I’d started with something so easy.
“Cherubim are a type of angel. Like most angels, they have wings, but they aren’t as humanoid as most angels. They have many eyes and many wings. There aren’t very many of them, and they protect things that are very important.”
“You mentioned something about the garden of Eden before.”
“Right. God placed Cherubim at the entrance of the Garden of Eden to make sure no man could enter it again while the curse was still on the world.”
He’d lost me. “Huh?”
“Okay, let’s start a little further back. Do you know about Adam and Eve?”
I remembered that Adam and Eve were the first man and woman and had been tempted by a serpent to eat fruit from a tree that God told them not to. Then they were thrown out of Eden, and something about being naked. I relayed as much to Logan, who laughed lightly.
“So you seem to have the nuts and bolts down. God created man to have fellowship with him. When Adam and Eve willingly disobeyed God, they allowed sin into the world. The Garden of Eden was a place where we could be in perfect communication and live with God. Since Adam and Eve opened Pandora’s box, so to speak, and let sin into their lives, they weren’t able to live in the garden anymore. Since we are all sons and daughters of Adam and Eve we all inherited that sin nature, so we also can’t be let into the garden.” He looked over at me to make sure I was following. “You still with me?”
I nodded.
“So God put his most trusted protectors, the Cherubim, at the entrance of the garden of Eden to make sure no one could enter. Cherubim also guarded the ark of the covenant.” I must have had a blank look on my face then, because Logan rushed to explain. “The ark was where the Law, also called the Ten Commandments, were held. For centuries, the Lord only manifested himself to men above the ark. So it needed to be heavily protected as well. God even told the people making the ark to include Cherubim into the design so they would remember how important it was.”
“Okay, so Cherubim are like God’s secret service.”
He chuckled. “I guess you can look at it that way.”
“Okay, but what does that have to do with the sword catching fire when I touch it?”
“That takes us back to the garden of Eden. That was the only time we know of when God gave anyone a flaming sword. It was the weapon the Cherubim were given to protect the entrance to the garden.”
“So what does that have to do with me?”
Logan paused for a moment before answering.
“To be honest Audrey, I’m not sure. The only thing we know for sure is that the only other flaming swords in the universe are guarding the Garden of Eden. And they are wielded by some pretty powerful angels.”
“So why in the world would it start on fire when I touch it? I’m not an angel.”
He looked at me with sadness in his eyes, this time clearly wishing he had an answer for me. “I’m really not sure, but I know it must be something important. These things don’t just happen by chance. There is a purpose.”
“But you’re telling me you don’t know what that purpose is?”
Logan shook his head.
“I’m willing to bet you have a guess.”
“A guess, a theory, is not an answer.”
I scooted just a tad closer, still keeping the sword between us. “I’d like to hear what you think.”
“I’m not sure that would be very beneficial to you.”
“Why don’t you let me be the judge of that for once?”
I could see that Logan was fighting an internal battle. His jaw set when he’d made up his mind. “No. There are too many options. Too many possibilities. I can’t pretend to know the heart of God. You are meant to figure this out on your own.”
I wanted to explode. More riddles. More things to figure out. More thing
s to wait on. When was I going to get any answers around here? “Seriously? You’re not even going to try to help me figure it out? We’re just going to add it to my growing pile of mysteries? One more thing that doesn’t make sense in my life anymore. Or death, or whatever.”
“Audrey, you know it’s not like that. I am helping you. I’m giving you the knowledge you don’t have. I can’t tell you what it means because I don’t know, but I’m trying to tell you as much as I know for sure. You need to look to God for the answers, not me, not Romona, not anyone else.” Logan’s voice held an exasperated edge.
He had a point, one that echoed Gabriel’s sentiments as well, but I wasn’t in the mood to be reasonable. It felt like another blow. Like someone was playing a game with my life and having a grand old time doing it.
I stubbornly refused to look at Logan. Part of me wanted him to be as miserable as I was at the moment. I closed my eyes and leaned back into the blanket of flowers. They tickled my forehead as they swayed in the breeze. Fabric rustled and shifted as Logan moved. A soft ringing echoed from the blade as he touched it, followed by a series of scraping sounds as he pulled the blade toward him. I honestly didn’t care. He could have the thing if he wanted it.
He continued talking even though it was obvious I was trying to ignore him. “Audrey, you need to look at this like a gift rather than a curse.”
I snorted. If you counted suffering, confusion, anger, and misery a gift, then sure, it was a gift.
But then some things rebelliously leaked into my consciousness. My friendship with Romona, the joy of the celebration, naming new creatures, the beauty all around me, even the sword saving me from the demon.
Neither of us spoke for several minutes. With eyes shut, I imagined Logan inspecting the weapon like he had a hundred different swords before, with great precision and care. It got me thinking about something.
“Logan?”
“Yes.”
“Why do we do this?”
He paused for a few heartbeats. His voice was unexpectedly quiet. “What do you mean?”