Ashes to Ashes

by M. J. Padgett

  Once Calla’s laughter died down, she said, “Well, at least Brody isn’t such a Debbie Downer! My gosh, your brother can make anything fun seem downright miserable in two seconds! I love the man more than life, but sometimes... some... times... oh, I shouldn’t complain. He did give up his life to search for me, didn’t he?” Her thoughts wandered, and she drifted away to another time as she sat in the middle of the floor.

  “There she goes again. Seriously, you two are gross with your lovey-dovey, gooey stuff,” Julianna joked.

  “Me? Need I remind you that you followed Caleb around like a lost puppy for months after you got your memories back?” Calla retorted.

  “It was a tad stalkerish, really,” Elizabeth said, “but who am I to talk? I was blind as a bat where Jay was concerned.”

  They continued to share memories amongst one another, and I contributed with a laugh here and there, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was still out of the loop. Why can’t I just get my memory back? I want to fit in, too.

  My curse struck again. I could tell by the silence that fell in the room that I’d said it aloud, then Elizabeth said, “It will happen eventually, Sierra. Don’t add stress to your life worrying about when it will happen.”

  “And don’t for one second think you’re not part of this group. You may not remember us, but we remember you. We also remember getting into quite a bit of trouble with you, so don’t be too eager to remember, because when you do we plan to get you back!” Calla added.

  I giggled and decided to contribute my own memories, new or not, they were all I had. “I almost had Ely arrested when he confronted me. The man showed up at the diner, then the forest when I was hunting with Cecily, then at my apartment where that one over there,” I said, pointing to Heidi, “tried to use magic to control us. And it only unraveled from there with Jack finding out, then... then Dannie... Anyway, he was so confident and over-the-top, a real narcissist in hindsight, but do you know I willingly kissed the fool on day two?”

  Elizabeth snickered. “Well, that doesn’t surprise me at all. He is full of himself, isn’t he?”

  “I was there. It was even funnier in person,” Heidi added. “But the real fun was at the museum.”

  Jemma all but came apart with that, rolling with laughter on the floor. Her unobstructed laughter was heart-warming and made it easy for the rest of us to relax and enjoy what may be our last night of peace for a long time. Truthfully, knowing Seline was suffering made it bittersweet, but she did try to partake in the discussion. I decided to take on a difficult task then—do anything to make Seline laugh.

  “It was. Imagine Ely, as a wolf, chasing a security guard around a jewelry exhibit in the middle of a museum,” I said, then added, “It was the funniest game of catch I’ve ever seen.”

  Seline’s mouth twitched a bit, but still no laughter.

  “Or, also good times and great fun, when Wil decided to be a little creeper and sneak into my bedroom in the middle of the night. Jack tried to kill him with a lamp and a nail file.”

  “Hey! I was legitimately trying to save your life, I’ll have you know!” Jack defended.

  “A nail file?” Seline asked.

  “Yes, a metal nail file. Mind you, I had already shifted causing him to scream like a child and leap on the bed.”

  Seline giggled, and soon her giggle morphed into a full-fledged belly laugh. Henry was a good man, and it felt good to do something for his wife to ease her pain if only for a few moments. I would have gone on, but she had other thoughts on her mind.

  “Oh, thank you, Sierra. I needed that. Only my Henry has ever made me laugh so well, so thank you for reminding me of the good things,” Seline said. “But, enough about my silly triplet and Wil Grimm. I want to know what’s going on with your sister and the guard who won’t leave her side.”

  “Felix?” Cecily asked, feigning disinterest.

  “The high-pitched tone of your voice betrays you, dear,” Elizabeth said, teasing Cecily as if she were her own sister.

  Cecily glanced at me, hesitating. I raised an eyebrow, waiting patiently for her to confess what I already felt was true.

  “Ugh... okay, fine... I think I’m falling for him,” she said, then put her hands up in defense and looked back to me. “I know what you’re thinking, Si, but it’s not a rebound thing. I thought it was, too, for a while, but when Brian called me earlier, I realized it wasn’t. I mean, I thought I loved Brian, but it’s nothing compared to the way I feel when Felix is with me. He’s...” she paused, giving Jack an open invitation to tease her.

  “He’s handsome and gallant and drives a... or rides a... I don’t know, he’s got a horse and muscles and all that crap you told me yesterday.”

  “Jack!” Cecily yelled. “That was supposed to be between us!”

  “Oops.” Jack threw his hands in the air.

  Cecily rolled her eyes then said, “I was going to say I feel connected to Felix in a way Brian and I never did, doofus.”

  Everyone was laughing except for Heidi. I didn’t want to burst my sister’s happy bubble, but if something was going on between the Grimm girl and Felix, it was better to get it out in the open now, before more hearts stood to be broken. Ugh, for Brody’s sake I hope nothing is going on.

  I managed to keep that thought to myself, luckily. “Heidi, are you okay? Is something wrong?” I asked, hoping to poke the bear enough that the truth would tumble out.

  She glanced from me back to Cecily with a guilty look on her face. She was nervous, which didn’t bode well for Cecily or Brody, but rather than play it off she decided to admit the truth.

  “Well... honesty is usually best, and this is no exception. I’m not sure exactly how to bring this up. It’s nothing, really, but I’d hate for it to come up later and cause a problem. See... well—”

  “Heidi,” Cecily said, “It’s okay. He told me. You’ve been his closest friend for fifteen centuries, so I get why it happened. I also appreciate that you were both honest with me. It’s not a big deal. I mean, I have a past, too.”

  “Can someone please tell me what you’re talking about?” Julianna, who was far out of the loop with her recent absence, asked.

  “Cecily has a thing for Felix who had a thing for Heidi a few years ago. It was, like a five-minute forbidden love that never amounted to anything more than a kiss,” Jack said, but it was obvious Heidi had not wanted that bit of information out in the open. However, she didn’t make a big deal of it and addressed my sister again.

  “It truly was nothing, especially after I met Brody. I loved Felix then, sure, but not the way I love my husband. And I can assure you, Felix has changed as much as I have. He knows now there is more to life than fighting for the cause, and I think you are the girl he’s been waiting for, Cecily.”

  Cecily stared at Heidi with hopeful eyes, but as usual, our goofy Jack had to go and ruin the sweet moment between the two women.

  “Well, judging from Cecily’s description of the kiss she and Felix shared, I’d say I have to agree, Lady Heidi,” Jack said just before stuffing another slice of Jeanine’s cake in his mouth.

  Cecily shoved him, nearly causing him to choke on his cake. “Jack! I swear I’m never telling you anything ever again, you giant brat!”

  Calla laughed enthusiastically. “Oh, Jack. I’m gonna miss you when you leave.”

  “When I leave? Where am I going?”

  Calla tilted her head to the side questioningly. “When this is all over, you’re going home aren’t you? Back to Philadelphia, I mean?”

  Jack sat up and folded his legs in front of him. He looked positively sick, and I thought he’d overeaten cake.

  “Jack?”

  “I’m okay. I just hadn’t really thought about leaving you and Cecily here. I’m... not sure. I guess I have to go back, but... but I’ll be here visiting all the time, okay?” he asked, begging to be forgiven for leaving when there was nothing to forgive. His life was in Pennsylvania. He had dreams and goals before we dr
agged him to Schwarzwald, and I never expected him to give those up. One day he might remember his past, but until that day I intended to support my best friend with every decision he made just as steadfastly as he did mine.

  “I know you will. I never doubted it, Jul... Jack.”

  Jack’s lips parted slightly, then his tongue darted out—his signature move when he was nervous. “D-did you just start to call me Julian?”

  Busted. “Yes, but it was just a slip of the tongue, that’s all. I was thinking about it earlier, and I guess it stuck with me.”

  His sick appearance worsened, then he grabbed my arm and dragged me from the room. The girls watched us go, not one of them trying to save me from my friend who was losing his mind. Once we were in the hall, he slammed the door shut and pinned me to the wall.

  “Ow!” I yelped. “Jack, what’s gotten into you?”

  “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you. Are you—”

  “I’m fine, Jack,” I said as I rubbed my sore elbows. “What’s gotten into you?”

  “I’m having dreams, Sierra. I... I think I am Prince Julian.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  I was sure standing in front of him with my mouth hanging open was not the reaction he’d anticipated, but I was so taken by surprise I didn’t know what to say. He pushed my chin up with his fingers, then he took a few steps back to lean against the stone wall. I gathered my thoughts, which weren’t many since I wasn’t expecting to tackle that issue during girl’s night.

  “Okay, first, what makes you say that? Besides the portrait and my father saying so?”

  “Um, let’s see, how about the scary nightmares I’ve been having? Were you not listening?” he asked as he crossed the hall again and shook me by my shoulders. Jack was a lot of things, but calm under pressure was not one of them.

  I gripped his hands and pried them from my shoulders, then held them tightly in my own to keep him from shaking me apart.

  “Tell me about the nightmares,” I said, realizing I sounded a lot like his mother, too.

  He sighed, then began. “Well, I guess they aren’t all nightmares. Some of them are nice, like the one I had where we were all spending time together picking wildflowers in the meadow. But the others... I’m pretty sure they are of my death, and it’s horrifying, Sierra. I can feel it.”

  “You feel it? Feel what, the pain of your death?”

  “Yes. It was agonizing, but somehow, I’m standing in front of you right now, so how did I die and come back as your best friend in real life? I mean, this life? Oh geez, I don’t even know anymore.”

  He was beginning to sweat, and pace like Cecily did when she was out-of-sorts. I didn’t like seeing Jack that way, but there was little I could do about it until one of us remembered everything. I could, however, be honest with him about what I thought.

  “I think I agree with you. I’ve had dreams with you in them, and the way they feel... it’s definitely you, Jack.”

  “But how? Unless my parents lied to... wait a minute. Wait one stinking minute!”

  “What?”

  He practically growled his anger, then punched the rock wall of the hallway. “Ow! Ouchie, ow, ow!” He hopped around squawking and clutching his hand.

  “Oh, Jack. Come on, let’s get that cleaned up.” I took his good hand and led him down the long corridor toward one of the many bathrooms. “What were you thinking about before you hit the wall?”

  “How much I wanted to hit something,” he said, still frustrated.

  “Before that, I meant.”

  He grumbled a little more, then said, “When I registered for classes during the first semester, back in my first year in college, I mean, I needed a copy of my birth certificate. Mom said they lost it, so she ordered another and took it down to the registrar’s office herself.”

  I pushed open the door to what I thought was a bathroom, but it was another hall, so we backtracked and tried again. “Okay, why would that make you think they lied to you?”

  “Think about it. If you adopted a kid and never wanted him to know he was adopted, what lengths would you go to, to ensure he didn’t figure it out?”

  “I see what you’re saying, but I feel that’s quite a leap. Why don’t we do this, let’s do a little research with public records and see what we can find? Honestly, until one of us gets our memories back, how can we be sure of anything?”

  We finally found the kitchen which I assumed was as good as a bathroom for cleaning hands, not to mention he would need to ice his knuckles. I turned on the faucet and shoved his hand under the cold water, then went to retrieve the ice.

  “Isn’t it strange this castle is forever old, but it has modern everything,” he asked, changing the subject.

  “I guess they couldn’t live without the comforts of running water and electricity once they were accustomed to them.”

  “And plumbing,” he added. “Flushing toilets are a nice thing to have in a castle.” He was dodging the scolding he knew was coming.

  “Here, put this on your knuckles and stop hitting inanimate objects, especially ones that are harder than your fist,” I scolded.

  “Would you rather I hit a person?”

  “I wouldn’t recommend that. A man’s face can hurt the knuckles as badly as a stone wall,” a deep voice echoed in the doorway. King Agustus stepped into the room sheepishly, a bit out-of-character from what I’d already observed of him. “May I have a word with your sister? I’m sorry, I mean, with—”

  “Forget about it. I’m probably your kid, so it’s nice to meet you, Pops,” Jack said, smacked the king on the back, then scurried down the hall as fast as he could without running.

  My father watched him until he turned the corner that led back to Elizabeth’s room. I assumed spending the evening with the girls was more appealing to him than sitting in the kitchen with me and our overbearing biological father. Eventually, King Agustus settled his gaze back on me.

  “May I have a word?”

  I turned my back to him and put the ice trays back into the refrigerator, realized my mistake and moved it to the freezer. I was already nervous. “Sure.”

  I heard a chair screech across the floor, then heard him settle in it. “Do you know how you lost vision in your eye?”

  I spun back around, quite sure I had not mentioned that to him. It was possible Cecily, or someone else did, but it surprised me nonetheless. “Um... I was born with minimal vision in one eye.”

  “Hmm... maybe so this life, but in your first, you lost your vision the same day I got this,” he said, pointing to the scar on his face. “You were five-years-old, and we were walking through a meadow picking flowers with your mother and brother. Your sister was still an infant, but your mother insisted we bring her along, so she carried her the entire way. It was a good day until a wolf came from the shadows and tried to take you away. You ran to us, but you tripped and fell on a stick which punctured your eye.”

  He paused, remembering the day, then went on. “Julian was brave even at seven years, and he tried to chase the thing down to carve it to pieces.”

  “Seven? But, Jack is only six months older than me,” I said, thinking maybe Jack wasn’t Julian.

  “I thought it odd also, but the Grimms say it’s possible. Your Prince Eliot was a year younger than Princess Katharine and King Marcellus in their first lives, which I remember well. They say it’s likely you all died and were born again at different times, so you see, Jack may well be our Julian.”

  I’d ask the Grimm brothers myself, just to be sure, but urged him to continue his story, anyway. “How did you get your scar?”

  “Oh, well, Julian chased the wolf, but it was I who caught the beast. I taught him a lesson about chasing Princesses, but not before he taught me about chasing wolves.” He licked his lips then took a deep breath as if preparing for a long speech.

  “You see, Saskia, it has always been my duty to ensure your safety, not only as a king but as your father. Perhaps I went about it all
wrong the first time, but it was all I knew. My marriage to your mother was arranged, and it did work out wonderfully. I thought I knew best, but it appears I was mistaken in many ways. You’re a lot stronger than I gave you credit for. Please try to understand, for a parent the worry and fear for their child’s safety never goes away.”

  I thought of Hans and what I might do or say if I thought he was in danger, and it didn’t take long for me to understand his point-of-view. Still, he couldn’t be the same king he was fifteen centuries ago. He had to be the king and father his people and family needed now.

  “I guess I understand. Maybe I did go a little overboard defending myself, but I’ve had to do everything on my own for a long time. I’ve taken care of Cecily her whole life, and I guess you trying to pull the Dad card really got under my skin.”

  He looked perplexed, then said, “I’m not sure what the Dad card is... or under your skin, for that matter.”

  “It means you tried to force me to do what you wanted instead of trying to understand me first. It made me angry, and I exploded. For that, I’m sorry.”

  “Perhaps we can begin again with fresh eyes?” he offered hesitantly.

  “I think I would like that,” I admitted, finding it to be true. He may not be Alex Monroe, but he was all I had.

  “Incidentally, your mother is nothing like me. I heard you say she was the same, but I assure you she is not. She’s as kind a soul as anyone, purer of heart than most. I do hope you will reconsider—”

  “Oh gosh, I was just mad. I’d never actually leave her to rot in a cage. I do have a question though, a few actually. First, why can’t they just do a spell and escape if they’re both witches? They are witches, right? From what Fiona said, and what’s written in the song—”

  “Darling, I’m very old, so you’ll have to slow down. I assume you mean the Song of the Lost?” I nodded, and he continued. “Yes, they both are, but as for why they are unable to escape, I’m afraid I cannot answer that. I only escaped recently, and I couldn’t find your mother or aunt anywhere in the castle. I was nearly caught, so I ran to an old safe house we used when I was a prince myself, then the first chance I got, I contacted King Marcellus.”