Creatures of the Night

by Grace Collins

  His smile is so warm it transforms his entire face. “The key ingredients.”

  “Oh. I’ve always confused the d’s and b’s. They look really similar.”

  “I think I like ingrebiance better, anyway.”

  This time, I can’t hold back my smile. “You must think it’s pathetic I can’t read at twenty.”

  “I don’t think you’re pathetic at all. Did nobody in your village know how to read?”

  I shake my head. “Most of them learned in school but Charles pulled me out and got me to work in the kitchen when I was young. I wonder if it was because he didn’t want me to read about everything he was hiding from me,” I say, leaning back so that I’m not so close to him. “Flo could read really well. She would always read the ingredients out to me when we made stuff together.”

  “Who’s Flo?”

  The thought brings an acid taste to my mouth. “I thought she was my best friend. Who she really was? I don’t know.” The fire crackles in the corner, embers spitting out onto the stones around it.

  “The one with the red hair?” Elias says. “The one you protected that night, the one you risked your life for? That was Flo?”

  “That’s the one.”

  “Did they treat you well?” he asks. “Was your childhood . . . okay?”

  “I don’t have anything else to compare it to.”

  He shifts closer, just a whisper away. “I’m sorry all this happened to you.”

  His apology feels so sincere, filled with emotions I can’t interpret. “It’s not like it’s your fault.”

  I know that I should lean away, that I should remove myself from the situation before I get even more tangled in him, but at this exact moment, the only thing I can think about is how close we are and how warm I feel. Because even though our lives are different, when he looks at me, it’s like he understands what it’s like to not belong anywhere.

  “Elias, I wanted to thank you for last night. If you weren’t there . . . if you hadn’t . . .”

  “Don’t thank me.”

  “I want to.” My eyes go down to his hands, clenched in his lap, then back up to his face. “I’ve never felt so safe in my whole life, and I know you’re just doing it because you have to, but I—”

  “Milena—”

  “—I needed someone last night, and you were there. Even after what happened with Ana, even though it was my fault—”

  “Stop.” I freeze as his fingers brush my chin, tilting my head up to look at him. “Stop it, you don’t owe me any apologies.”

  Goose bumps rise along the back of my neck. He’s so close—if I leaned in, our noses would brush. And even though I know he could give me to the hollowers at any second, I want nothing more than to be closer to him. But the reality of our situation is like a slap to the face. Elias’s guardian died in place of me; it doesn’t make sense that he doesn’t resent me, even just a little bit.

  “How don’t you hate me?” I whisper.

  “I couldn’t hate you.” His eyes search my face, expression desperate. “I can’t. Even if they did kill her because of you, I couldn’t hate you for it because—” There’s a cough at the door. Elias leaps away from me so quickly a whoosh of air blows my hair around my face. Over his shoulder, Eric stands in the doorway.

  “Am I interrupting something?” He shoots a pointed look at Elias.

  “Nothing.”

  Eric looks at me and I shrink into the couch. “We should talk, Elias.”

  “About what?”

  “You know what.”

  Elias doesn’t even look at me before getting up and exiting the library, brushing past Eric and leaving as fast as he can, like he can’t think of anything worse than being here with me.

  His departure stings, his absence allowing thoughts I’d tried to repress back into my mind. I try to keep my face straight as Eric watches me from the doorway.

  “Do you know where Cassia is?” I ask.

  “Milena.” His voice is softer than usual. “It’d be better for everyone if you kept your distance.”

  He turns and leaves the library and I slump back, the strange energy Elias filled me with feeling as if it’s seeping from my fingertips and dripping to the floor. And when I’m alone again, the thoughts I’d tried to silence crawl back in my head and the weight on my chest returns, the book discarded beside me. The cover is orange and tattered, a stark contrast to the small, paper books we had in my village—books I’d read with Darius when we were both learning.

  If my knife hadn’t plunged into his stomach, what would have happened? Would I be with the hollowers right now or would I be dead? Or would Elias have saved me before they got to me?

  Did I really kill Darius for nothing? Does that make it worse?

  Thoughts race around my head, justifications and accusations that I can’t seem to organize or pull apart, but Darius floats at the center of them. Because even though he’s gone, his presence is heavy.

  ~

  After wandering through the castle halls, I find Cassia in Elias’s office. She’s sitting at his desk, drowning in paper, and doesn’t look up when I open the door. “I was just going through Ana’s books and I thought—oh, it’s you.”

  “Sorry. I thought maybe I could help you.”

  “That’s all right.” She waves me closer, and I take the seat across from her. “I was supposed to meet Eric and Elias here. I’m just going through Ana’s books to see if there’s anything more about the sacrifice. We must be missing something.”

  “You think that might help?”

  “I don’t know, but it’s all we’ve got right now.”

  She flicks through the pages, intensely focused. My mind brings me back to the mountain, when Ana had taken Elias outside to cover the paths. I hadn’t thought much of it until Cassia mentioned they were already covered, and then Elias’s abrupt decision to leave—it didn’t feel natural. “Do you know why Ana wanted to talk to Elias?” I ask. “When she took him outside.”

  “They hadn’t seen one another for a while.” She shrugs.

  “But didn’t you find it a little weird? You said yourself the tracks were already covered by the snow.”

  “If I were Ana, I wouldn’t want to talk to my son with a bunch of strangers around either.” She looks up at me with narrowed eyes. “Milena, what’s this about?”

  “The way she looked at me before they left, Elias’s decision to leave as soon as they’d finished talking . . . don’t you find it all a little weird?”

  “Look, Elias is a mysterious guy, he always has been. It’s easy to think he’s hiding things, but it’s not always that deep. I trust him, and you should too. If he says Ana couldn’t help, then she couldn’t help.” Before I can respond, Eric shoves the door open, Elias a beat behind him. They both look surprised to see me there.

  “Good, you’re here,” Cassia says. “I’ll send word to the elders that you’ll be visiting. But I’ve been going through Ana’s books.

  Have you heard of adrix ? ”

  “Yeah, it’s an antibacterial medicine. I told you those books are useless, Cassia,” Eric says. “Even Ana herself said there’d be nothing in them.”

  “Well, what would you suggest I do? We still have to figure out what the hollowers want from Milena, and these are all we have.”

  “What we really need to talk about is what we’re doing about the hollowers,” he says. “They’re getting more confident. Who knows how long it’ll be before they try to infiltrate the village.”

  “We’ll have to up security, maybe enforce an earlier curfew,”

  Elias says, moving to stand behind the desk. He looks at me.

  “Was your colony ever in contact with other hollower groups?”

  “I didn’t even know there were others.”

  “It’s strange,” Cassia adds. “They’ve never worked together like this before. It certainly increases the risk for us.”

  “It’s only going to get more dangerous as long as Milena stays here
,” Eric says.

  Cassia raises a brow. “It’s not like she has anywhere else to go.”

  “How long are we supposed to let this go on?” he says. “How many people are going to die if we keep her here?”

  “You want to just give me to the hollowers?” I say.

  “You want families to keep losing their loved ones because of you?”

  “Eric, that’s enough,” Elias says coldly. “We’re not giving you to the hollowers, Milena. Ever.” Eric murmurs something beneath his breath about having to leave, and he twists on his feet, his shoulder knocking mine before he slams the door behind him.

  The room seems to shake. I wonder if I’m the only one who can feel it as guilt winds its way through me.

  Cassia snorts. “And to think he could’ve been your second in command. You really dodged a bullet there, Elias. Why is he so worked up, anyway? He’s so angry these days.”

  “Just ignore him,” Elias says.

  “Oh, believe me, I do.”

  Elias chuckles. Cassia’s smile widens as she swings herself over his desk, mumbling something more about Eric’s temper.

  “He has a point, you know,” I say.

  “Who? Eric?” Cassia says.

  “Maybe he’s harsh in his delivery, but he is sort of right. The longer you keep me around, the more everyone here is at risk.”

  Cassia leans against the desk. “You’re saying we should give you to the hollowers?”

  The last thing I want is to go back to the hollowers, but the thought of more people dying in my place is almost more frightening. “I don’t want to go with them. But I would understand if you didn’t want me to stay here anymore.”

  Elias sighs, stepping forward. “Eric is wrong. You have a place here, Milena, no matter what anybody says.” I can’t look away from him, because for the first time in so long, I feel a sense of belonging. And the feeling is indescribable.

  “What should we do?” Cassia asks quietly.

  “We’ll have to enforce a lockdown. Make sure nobody leaves the village territory without permission.”

  “What about the night of the First Run? We can’t enforce a curfew then.”

  Elias pauses in thought. “We’ll celebrate inside the village this year. It’s too dangerous to do it outside, even during the night.”

  “What is the First Run?” I ask.

  Cassia scribbles something on the paper on the desk. “Shifter tradition, all the kids shifting for the first time go on their first run. We celebrate beforehand with a bonfire and music with the entire village. It’s the biggest event of the year.”

  “When is it?”

  “End of the week,” she says, looking at Elias. “I’m going to arrange something about the lockdown. Do you want me to get back to the elders to let them know when you’ll be there?”

  He shakes his head. “That’s all right, I can do that.” Cassia nods, bustling for the door with an armful of paper and books.

  She smiles as she passes me and pulls the door shut behind her much more delicately than Eric had.

  “Don’t worry yourself over Eric,” Elias says without looking up, continuing to fiddle with the papers on his desk. “He’s just doing what he thinks is best.”

  “I know,” I say. Eric’s perpetual bad mood doesn’t affect me anymore. The moment I accepted that he doesn’t like me it stopped bothering me. But that doesn’t stop me from thinking about all the reasons why he doesn’t like me. And honestly, it’s getting harder and harder not to agree with him. “Is the First Run compulsory?”

  “Compulsory?”

  “Like . . . do I have to go?”

  He smiles and his entire face brightens. “Not if you don’t want to. But it’ll be safe. The hollowers won’t get in.”

  “It’s actually not the hollowers I’m worried about.”

  “The shifters?”

  “I don’t exactly fit in.”

  “You say that like it’s a bad thing.”

  “Isn’t it?”

  “Not always.”

  I step forward and rest my hands on his desk. “What are you doing?”

  “Paperwork,” he says. “Nothing you’d find interesting.”

  “You’d be surprised. Anything is more interesting than sitting around doing nothing.” I pause. “Not that I don’t appreciate being here or anything, I didn’t mean it like—”

  “Do you have any hobbies?”

  “Hobbies?” I don’t know why, but the thought of carrying out regular tasks is unfathomable. I’m in a different world now, a world where none of that stuff exists.

  “Hobbies. You know, activities done regularly in one’s leisure time for pleasure—”

  “I know what a hobby is.”

  “That’s a relief,” he says. “I was starting to think the hollowers banished you to cleaning in every spare second you had.” I notice the look in his eyes, the slight tilt of his lips. He’s teasing me. “So?” he asks again. “Is there anything you’d like to do while you’re here?”

  “What sort of things? Like painting or writing?”

  “Painting is all right. Though I’d suggest reading before you get to writing.”

  Blood rushes to my cheeks and I let out a nervous laugh.

  “Good idea. Reading then? It would be nice to learn.”

  “That could be arranged. Anything else?”

  I remember racing down the mountain face, feeling utterly useless as that man grabbed my ankles and dragged me along the ground. Though the idea of having to fight for my life petrifies me, I know it’s important. It’s possible that Elias won’t protect me one day, and when that day comes—

  “I want to learn how to defend myself,” I decide. “In case things don’t work out here.”

  Elias’s smile slips away. He turns around, opening his desk drawer and fiddling with the contents.

  “What’re you doing?”

  “I’m getting the key to the training room.”

  “What, now?”

  He looks up at me with a grin and my stomach somersaults.

  Elias has always been beautiful to me, but before, he was unreachable. Now, standing there and smiling at me, he’s beautiful in a whole new way—where I don’t have to worry about him snapping my neck. “Why not?”

  ~

  The training center, as Elias called it, is underground. And though I spent half my life hiding from supposedly ravenous creatures in a dark tunnel, I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything more terrifying. The center is an area larger than the courtyard of my old village, an elaborate obstacle course stretching around the perimeter of the room—ropes, rock walls, and bars line the course, with soft black mats beneath each obstacle. Everything is black—the walls, the obstacles, the mats on the floor. The only color is the silver of the blades on the weapons lining the walls, too many for me to count. Machetes, daggers, swords, bows and arrows—a collection I couldn’t dream of ever needing to use.

  And staring at them now, I wonder if this is a good idea after all.

  “Why do you have so many weapons?” I leave Elias by the door to walk the length of the wall. “Can’t you just shift?”

  “We can’t shift when we’re kids, so we have to learn how to fight. And even after that, we need to be able to protect ourselves during the day, when shifting isn’t an option.”

  “And the extensive obstacle course? You plan on climbing mountains too?”

  “Purely for endurance. Most battles are lost because you don’t have the strength to keep up with your opponent.”

  I remember how my lungs burned as I sprinted down the mountain, the way my legs threatened to give out on me. The thought that this is my reality now is hard to swallow. Back in my village, I thought the most physical activity I’d get to do was hunting a few animals to bring back for a meal. I want to learn to protect myself, but actually being here in front of all these weapons and obstacles is overwhelming. And Elias being here doesn’t help to calm any of my nerves.

  I lo
ok at the weapons again, eyes landing on the smaller ones.

  “Should I pick one?”

  “Eager, aren’t you?” Darius’s cold, lifeless body flickers on the backs of my eyelids. “No weapons for now.” He puts his hand over mine and guides it to my side and away from the weapons. “I don’t want you to accidentally trip and shoot me with an arrow.”

  “That’s fair.”

  “First, you need to work on your endurance.”

  I don’t even try to stop my groan from escaping. “You want me to practice running?”

  “Most of the people you’ll come up against will have had a lot more training than you. Your best bet is always going to be running away, even if you do have a weapon.”

  “And what if they still catch me?”

  “We’ll get to that later. For now, try this endurance course,” he says, nodding toward it.

  A wooden ladder leads to a platform about five feet off the ground. My stomach plummets when I put my feet on the first few rungs, memories of climbing trees with Flo filtering through my mind. Finally reaching the platform, I cling to the wooden pole for support, trying not to seem nervous when I look down at Elias. “That wasn’t so hard.”

  The left side of his mouth tilts up. “You haven’t even started yet.”

  I face the course, rubbing my hands on the black pants Cassia loaned me as I stare at the first obstacle. It’s some sort of rope swing, multiple strands of rope hanging from the ceiling and no other way across to the next platform aside from swinging.

  “Can’t be that difficult, right?” I reach for the first rope, my feet leaving the platform, and dangle in midair, trying to use my body to swing to the next one. I get three ropes in when I completely miss and drop to the black mats with a thud. Elias appears above me, slightly blurry.

  “You have very poor upper body strength,” he says plainly.

  Cynthia used to say the same thing to me when I would be scrubbing pots and she would tell me to use elbow grease. Elias leans down and pulls me up by my forearms. “You can take a break if you want.”

  “No. I’m fine, really. I need to finish.”

  Taking a deep breath, I clamber up the ladder again, this time making sure to properly swing myself to create enough momentum and reach the next rope. I successfully make my way to the next obstacle, a balancing pole, from which I promptly fall twice, making my abdomen burn. And then the next one, a speed run to avoid getting whacked by a swinging pendulum that knocks me to the ground. By the time I reach the end of the course, it feels like hours have passed. I col apse onto the ground, arms like jelly.