Hold on Tight
Page 20
He also was wearing a smile so big, it verged on blinding. If he was a preschooler, she would have teased him, saying that he looked like the cat who swallowed the canary.
“Hey, you,” she said as she waved him on in. “You sure are looking pleased with yourself.”
He closed the door behind them. “If I’m lookin’ pleased, that’s because I am.” Reaching into a back pocket, he pulled out a white envelope. “This, Ms. Brown, is for you.”
It was a business-size white envelope that seemed especially thick. She was almost afraid to take it.
Just to be sure, she said, “Is this the money?”
Coming closer, he pressed it into her palm. “Of course, sweetheart.”
His voice was gentle. That tone, combined with that new endearment, made her insides melt a little. But she still felt really awkward as she curved her hand around the packet. “How much is inside? Do you know?”
“I do.” He took a breath, then said, “Dani, honey, there is fourteen hundred dollars in there.”
She was so shocked, she almost dropped it. “Fourteen hundred? As in one thousand, four hundred dollars?”
His grin widened. “It’s awesome, right? After Troy counted it up, Kurt and Ace and me were high-fiving everyone.”
She thrust it back at him. “I can’t accept this.” She’d been hoping for a few hundred dollars and had even felt guilty taking that amount. This amount? Well, it felt almost sinful, considering it was just for baseball. There were other families in Bridgeport who were no doubt struggling to pay their utilities.
His blue eyes clouded in confusion. “Sure you can.”
She shook her head. “No. This isn’t right. I know we talked about maybe hitting a thousand, but I didn’t expect even that much. Jackson, this is too much.”
His smile widened. “People got excited, Dani. Guys who lost in the tournament started betting crazy during the cash game when someone suggested they donate half their winnings.”
Just the idea of people betting money like that for her made her uncomfortable. “But I didn’t ask for anyone to do that.”
His playful expression sobered. “Honey, you didn’t ask for any of it. Neither did Jeremy, for that matter. That’s what makes this whole thing so cool. It’s a gift.”
“But—”
Taking the envelope from her hand, he set it on the coffee table. “Come on. I think we ought to talk about this. Let’s sit down.”
“You have time for that?” Hating that she kept asking questions that were both inane and rude, she groaned. “I mean, it’s late. I bet you’re tired and want to go to bed.”
Still staring at her intently, he said, “Believe it or not, I didn’t have any other plans scheduled for two in the morning. I’m all yours.”
“Oh, please.”
“Stop fussing and come sit down,” he repeated in that patient tone of voice he used with Kate when she was on the verge of a little-girl breakdown.
Just as he took a step forward, he sniffed the sleeve of his shirt. “But first, um, let me go wash up.” Already walking toward her bathroom, he said, “You don’t care if I use your bathroom, do you? I would go downstairs to my place to shower but that might take a while.”
“I don’t mind if you use my bathroom. And stop about the shower. You’re fine.”
“You may not think that when you get a good whiff of me. I smell like hell,” he murmured as he walked toward the open door. “Boy, I need to get cleaned up. Damn.”
Thinking about how comfortable he was acting, she had a sudden vision of him stripping off his clothes. “Jackson, you aren’t going to take a shower in my bathroom or anything are you?”
He paused to turn back at her. “Nah. I’m just gonna wash up a bit. You got an extra washcloth or something?”
“In the cabinet under the sink.”
“Appreciate it.” One of his dimples appeared. “I tell you what, it doesn’t matter how cold it is outside, it always gets hot as hell in that garage. I’ll be right out.”
She smiled weakly as she sat down, staring at the envelope like it held a bomb inside it. And, maybe it did.
Fourteen hundred dollars was an enormous amount. There were so many things she could be doing with it besides pay for baseball games. Bills, car insurance, clothes for school. A trip to the grocery store that didn’t involve twenty coupons and meat on sale.
Or, her guilty conscience reminded her, the money could go to someone who was actually in need. Someone hurt or homeless or in crisis.
Not this.
“Uh-oh. I don’t think you’ve calmed down much.”
“I was just thinking that it’s wrong of me to take this. I mean, it’s really nice and all, but unnecessary. It’s just for baseball.”
“Kurt and I didn’t lie to anyone, Dani. Everyone knew what they were playing for and donating to.” He sat down beside her. “Not your name or anything, but every player there knew the money was so a teenage boy and his mom could afford to be on a select baseball team.”
Still staring at the envelope, she said, “What do you think?”
“Honey, you know what I think. I set it up.” Reaching for her hand, he linked their fingers then pressed his lips to her fingertips sticking out. “Don’t overthink things. It’s done. Trust me, the best thing to do is accept the money and let Jeremy do his thing.”
“I guess you’re right.” After all, how would she give the money back anyway? And what would she do about Jeremy and the team if she did give the money away? Keep working too much for too little pay?
“I’m glad you are seeing it my way.” After squeezing her hand lightly again, he released it and rested an arm along the back of the couch behind her. “Now, tell me about your night. How was Kate?”
“It was terrific. Guess what? Kate likes doing puzzles. It’s so cute.”
“What? Isn’t she a little young for that?”
“Oh, it’s not a hundred-piece puzzle or anything. I have some wooden sets where preschoolers can put six or seven pieces together. She did great. She wanted to do the puzzle of circus animals again and again.”
He looked pleased. “I knew she was smart! I bet not all three-year-olds can do that.”
Boy, she loved seeing this proud-parent side of Jackson. It turned her to mush every single time. “She is pretty special. We also played with playdough and watched some television with Jeremy.”
“Thanks again for watching her.”
She shrugged off his thanks. “Now, how about you tell me why you are wearing that outfit. What’s with those awful tube socks?”
Looking surprised, he looked down, “Dani, what are you talking about? These are awesome.”
“They are thick white socks with red stripes on the end. You look like you’re about to play basketball with Larry Bird in the seventies.”
But instead of looking offended, Jackson seemed pleased. “I never thought of them like that. But that’s awesome.”
“So you’ve been wearing these around town and I just haven’t ever seen them?”
“No, they’re my lucky socks. I wear them only for poker.”
“Did you win the tournament tonight?”
“Well, no. But I came in tenth place. And I won some money in the cash game, too.”
“What about the T-shirt?”
“This? Oh, the guys and I went to their concert in Charleston back in ’98. We usually have theme nights and tonight’s was concerts.”
She smiled at him. “That explains a lot of things.”
“Like what?”
“Like the fact that it seems a little snug.”
A new look appeared on his face. “Too tight, huh?”
Did she mind seeing his muscles a little more clearly than usual? Ah, no. “It’s good. I don’t mind.”
He reached out and ran a fi
nger along the ruffled collar of her V neck. “You look pretty.”
“It’s the middle of the night. I doubt I look anything but tired.”
“Maybe we should try to put a different look on your face then.” Before she could ask what he was talking about, he leaned in and brushed his lips against hers. Lightly. So sweetly.
When she reached out to steady herself, he kissed her again.
And then all she really wanted to do was hold on tight.
It had been so long. So long since she’d been held. Since she’d felt attractive. Since she’d been kissed.
He lifted his head slightly. Searched her face. “Okay?”
She liked that. Liked how he realized that this was new and was something she needed a moment to adjust to. But while her mind might be questioning every little thing in the morning, all the rest of her wanted to do was press close against him.
When she did just that, Jackson groaned and shifted them. Just like back in high school, she was lying on the couch and Jackson was propped above her. Tasting her neck, murmuring sweet things into her nape, doing things that made her pulse go a little faster and the rest of her sigh in relief.
Needing to touch him as much as he was touching her, she slid her hands under his shirt, felt the muscles of his back ripple under her searching fingers. His skin was smooth and warm. Felt like liquid velvet under her fingertips. With a moan, she reached for him with her other hand, then shifted so their mouths were meshed again.
Jackson’s hands had started to roam as much as hers, and her back arched with a sigh when his fingers skimmed her rib cage, seeking her breast.
“Dani,” he murmured after they shared another few minutes exploring each other. “We ought to stop.”
Should they? She didn’t see a reason why. She was an adult. So was he. And they were still fully clothed.
Well, more or less.
When he pulled away some more, she dropped her hands in frustration. It had been so sweet, and it had been so long. “Jackson?” She opened her eyes to see what she imagined was the same dreamy expression on his face that was probably on hers.
He got to his feet. “Dani, I’m sorry. Look, you’re beautiful. You felt so good. But …”
“But?” Please don’t let him start saying something cheesy, like it was him and not her.
“But, well.” He swallowed. “I just …” He rubbed a hand over his face. “I just don’t want to have regrets in the morning.”
They’d barely gotten to second base, if they even called it that anymore. She’d been participating in everything they had been doing whole-heartedly, too.
Surely, he’d noticed?
She smiled slightly. “Do you really think we would ever regret making out a little?”
He looked down at his feet. “I don’t know. Maybe?” When their eyes met again she realized that he wasn’t being all sacrificing.
He was talking about himself.
“I know it’s been two years since Beth died,” he said haltingly. “But this is the first time I’ve kissed another woman.” His cheeks reddened. “I know it’s not cheating. I know it, and I love getting close to you. You’re gorgeous, Dani. But—”
At last she got it. “But part of you feels like it is.”
He nodded. “That. Plus, I like our friendship. I need it. When we finally do go to bed, I don’t want it to be on your couch while our kids are sleeping in the other rooms. I want some privacy.”
She laughed, suddenly imagining what hell would have broken loose if her light-sleeping son had stumbled out of his room on his way for more water and walked in on the two of them. “You’re right. I don’t know what got into me. I should have thought about that.”
“No need to apologize. I’m the one who was lying on top of you.” He grinned. “I would’ve never believed it, but I feel kind of awkward, like I almost got caught necking in my car.” He closed his eyes. “Jeez, I’m out of practice.”
“Luckily, that’s something we can work on.”
Smiling at her, he nodded. “Yeah. We absolutely can. I don’t want to lose you.”
“You haven’t.” Walking toward her bedroom, she said, “Are you ready for Kate?”
“Yep.”
She waited in the small entryway while he walked into her bedroom and got his daughter. When he came out, Kate sprawled half over his shoulders and little legs clinging to him like a spider monkey, Dani opened the door. “Night, Jackson.”
“Night, babe. Get some sleep.”
She didn’t bother answering him, just watched patiently as he walked to the landing and then disappeared down the stairs.
Just as she clicked the bolt shut and turned off the light, Jeremy stumbled out of his room. “Mom?” he asked as he walked to the kitchen.
“It’s okay. Jackson just came to get Kate. He’s gone now.”
“’Kay,” he mumbled as he turned on the sink.
After he got his drink of water and then disappeared back into his room, she picked up the envelope that they’d left on the coffee table, placed it on her dresser, then got ready for bed.
Jackson had absolutely saved the night. Ten minutes longer and clothes would have been off.
And her boy would have been greeted with a very different scene! Thank goodness for small favors and Jackson’s cautiousness. She fell asleep smiling about that close call. They’d come so close to ruining one of the best nights she’d had in such a very long time.
And now she didn’t even have to worry about paying for his fees! Her son was going to be so happy.
CHAPTER 31
From Les Larke’s
You, Too, Can Host
a Poker Tourney:
I’m often asked about why a group of guys would want to hold a poker tournament in the first place. My first response is always, why not?
Her bedroom door flew open with a bang. Jerking awake with a gasp, Dani stared at the intruder. And then panic set in.
“Jeremy? Honey, what’s wrong? Are you hurt?” Seconds later, she realized that her fourteen-year-old wasn’t upset or hurt. He was mad. Really mad.
With a glare, he held up his phone, displaying the screen like it was a poisonous snake. “How could you?”
“How could I what?” Turning to the side, she slid out of bed, bending down to pull her robe securely around her as she got to her feet.
“Make me into some kind of … of … pathetic kid.” His voice was harsh and sounded ripped from his chest.
She’d done that? Dani kept her back to him as she tied the belt of her robe, needing a moment to figure out what the heck was going on with him. Jeremy was on the quiet side. He was patient with most people, and his father had ingrained in him a respect for her that had never—until now—crossed the line.
When she turned back to him, he was glaring at his phone and breathing heavy.
Dani knew he was either about to burst into tears or throw that phone at the wall.
Since she could never handle his tears—and she really couldn’t afford a new phone for him—she knew she needed to calm him down, stat. “Hey, now. There’s no need for you to get so excited,” she said as patiently as she could. “Let me wake up and get a cup of coffee, and then we’ll talk about things.”
He raised his voice. “Mom, you don’t even know what you’re talking about.”
“I know I don’t like you talking to me in that tone. How about that?”
But instead of backing down, he held up his phone’s screen again. “How about I don’t like you making me into some kind of creepy charity case!” One angry tear slid down his cheek before he turned around. “How could you?”
She stared at his retreating back as those last words rang in her ears. Charity case?
She’d first thought that way, too. Hearing Jeremy say the same words hit very close to home.
Fighting a new sense of dread, she reached on the bottom shelf of her bedside table and picked up both her glasses and her own phone. But she didn’t see anything beyond the slightly flirty texts she and Jackson had exchanged last night after he’d told her the good news.
Though she knew she should probably delete the conversation in case Jeremy caught sight of it, she couldn’t bring herself to do it. Even when she and Brian had been dating he’d never talk to her like that.
Like she was the last thing he ever wanted to think about before he fell asleep at night.
After doing her business in the bathroom, she walked directly to the coffee maker and pressed brew. Now that she had clean teeth, a rinsed face, and caffeine brewing, she was almost certain she was going to be able to face Jeremy’s crisis. Maybe.
To her surprise, he wasn’t standing in their small kitchen, impatiently waiting on her. No, he was standing out on their small balcony, texting.
Figuring he could wait a minute for her to drink her coffee, she poured a half cup, dosed it with milk, and drank it down as fast as she could.
The hot brew burned as it went down her throat. Finally waking her up and giving her the courage she needed to talk to her boy.
He didn’t look up from his phone when she approached. Leaning against the doorway she studied him for a moment before speaking.
“I’m ready to talk now. Are you?”
“I don’t even know what to say. You’ve ruined my life.”
“We might as well sit down and talk about it, then. Standing here isn’t helping.”
“Fine.” He brushed past her into the sitting area and plopped down in the center of the tan couch she’d bought brand new just a few years before.