Bitter Sweet Kisses

by S M Mala

  ‘Check with Onya first, but if you do get some free time, I’d appreciate it if you could keep Sophie’s company.’

  Jonah couldn’t hide his surprise at the request.

  ‘Hasn’t she got any friends?’ he asked, thinking she would have a fair few.

  ‘Look, I know you’re a pretty practical guy. You can put up shelves and do all sorts of things like that. Sophie needs help with the spare bedroom and I can’t face it. And sometimes she wants to go shopping for things, and I don’t want to go.’

  ‘You’re talking about the nursery?’ Jonah smiled seeing Harry groan. ‘You’re at an age when you should be happy you’re going to be a father for the first time.’ Harry showed no emotion. ‘Aren’t you a little bit excited?’

  ‘I keep hoping the child will die.’

  Jonah bolted up straight and looked at Harry shrugging his shoulders.

  ‘Don’t say that. I had a sister and she died when she was a baby. I remember my parents were heartbroken. I was about five and it was a horrible time. Don’t wish that on anyone, especially your own child.’ Gulping hard, Jonah started to feel upset. ‘Life is precious.’

  ‘Sorry,’ Harry said, looking guiltily at him. ‘I didn’t mean it. My head is all over the place. Of course, I want the kid to be fine. This is a major upheaval and I’m not ready for it. I’m not sure I’ll ever be. And she likes you. I want to step back and see how I feel.’

  ‘You want me to babysit your wife while you sort out what you want, is that what you’re saying?’

  ‘I’ll pay you for it.’

  ‘I don’t want your money. Won’t Sophie know you’ve set me up for babysitting?’

  ‘When do I have time to do normal things?’ He let out a hefty sigh. ‘And she likes you. It’s a godsend.’

  ‘Listen, I haven’t said whether I’m going to do it. Onya won’t like it and-.’

  ‘Find out when Onya is working late and we’ll match diaries.’ Harry smirked. ‘I would be eternally grateful.’

  ‘I’ll help out from time to time but your wife needs you,’ said Jonah. ‘I’m just the hired sitter but no money.’ Then he sheepishly smiled. ‘And I like her company. She’s interesting.’

  ‘Interesting?’

  ‘Of course. You should know that, shouldn’t you?’

  And from the confused expression on his agent’s face, he hadn’t the foggiest idea what Jonah was talking about.

  ‘What’s he got on you?’

  Sophie laughed when she saw Jonah standing on her doorstep, grinning. ‘I thought you were an up and coming photographer, not a handyman.’

  There was an odd feeling in her chest.

  This was the only the third time she had met him.

  Harry mentioned that Jonah was happy to help out.

  Deep down she knew it was her husband’s way of avoiding being around, which meant he would be out more.

  ‘I can do DIY and am reasonably good at putting things together. Do you mind?’

  ‘He’s a lazy bugger, that husband of mine.’

  Opening the door, she let him in and checked the time.

  It was five o’clock in the afternoon and Harry said he would be late, again.

  ‘The last time I saw you, I was a neat little package. Now I’m nearly thirty weeks and it’s growing.’ Sophie couldn’t help but let out a laughter of happiness as she pointed to her bump. ‘Would you like a cup of tea before I take you to the nursery?’

  ‘That would be good.’

  Walking to the kitchen, he followed and took off his jacket. Jonah was wearing a t-shirt and jeans. His body was more sculptured and sexier than Harry’s.

  Any other time, she would have been left breathless, but that was now solely down to the baby pressing on her lungs.

  Making tea, he sat down at the kitchen table.

  ‘Your girlfriend doesn’t mind you helping?’ she asked tentatively.

  ‘Onya’s working late so it’s no big deal. Have you got a list of things to do?’

  ‘Certainly have but you’re not expected to do all of it. I just want the cot put up in my bedroom and a few shelves, nothing much. There’s baby safe proofing but I’ll do that in a couple of weeks.’

  ‘I have a nephew and niece,’ Jonah said, standing up and walking closer. ‘They’re eight and nine, and my sister forced me to help out with the DIY. I was staying with her after I left college and she made me pay my way, which included changing nappies.’

  He laughed.

  And Sophie couldn’t help but admire his genuine look of amusement. She couldn’t remember the last time when Harry looked like that. There was always a cynical smile in appreciation of something; but nothing sincere from the heart.

  That’s what she missed from her relationship. The lightness of just laughing about nothing.

  ‘Well, Harry might hire you to be a nanny if you tell him that,’ she said and watched him stop laughing. Jonah smiled. ‘I’m sorry if he forced your hand over this.’ She handed him a cup of tea. ‘Help yourself to milk and sugar.’

  ‘I’m working on a project in a couple of days, so I don’t mind,’ he said, putting a splash of milk in his tea and not using the sugar.

  Sophie made a mental note to remind herself to do that when she made the next cup for him.

  ‘Where’s your studio?’ she asked.

  ‘Hoxton. It’s not too far from where I live.’

  ‘That’s the trendy part of East London. I used to live in Bethnal Green before I came back west. Maybe I’m not trendy enough, and something residential and green is more suitable for me.’

  ‘And how come you’re not working today?’

  ‘I’ve got paperwork to do. That goes with the job, the paper trail of what you did and how. It’s tough.’ For a moment, she looked at her laptop knowing what she was working on was pretty hard. ‘I hate the expression ‘battered wives’. It’s just cruelty, to be honest.’

  ‘I think what you do is amazing.’

  Never had her husband said something like that to her before. Usually, Harry never wanted to discuss it.

  ‘You’re being polite because I’m the wife of your agent,’ she replied, only to see he looked deadly serious.

  ‘You’re trying to change people’s lives and I want to photograph events that change people’s lives,’ Jonah said seriously. ‘And the people.’

  ‘I thought you were doing celebrity and fashion shoots?’ she asked, knowing what Harry had said.

  ‘That pays the bills and gives me more publicity. But it’s not what I’m really interested in.’ Then he grinned. ‘It’s hard work photographing models, but someone has got to do it.’

  ‘You hero!’ she laughed out. ‘Next week we’re opening another refuge, this time in Uxbridge. We have to keep the places low key just in case exes want to come and make their presence felt. But when the group are together, they’re strong. That’s why I like working there. They give each other the encouragement to get through the bad times.’ Sophie thought about a few of the people she currently dealt with. ‘Makes me grateful for my life.’

  That wasn’t particularly true.

  She wanted someone in her life who relished being around; not a man who thought it was an inconvenience.

  Like Harry.

  ‘So you’re not all fashion shoots?’ she asked, snapping out of her dismal thought.

  ‘I regard myself more as a portrait photographer. I want to tell a story in one shot. It’s hard, the composition and finding the situation. And people think you have to be older to create something like that. I want to show what life is, and how unique situations can affect us all, each and every one of us.’

  ‘You have substance as well as beauty,’ Sophie whispered as she caught his eye. ‘That’s a lethal combination.’

  ‘I could say the same thing about you.’ They stared at each other for a moment before he looked away. ‘Show me where to go and I’ll get started.’

  But at that moment, Sophie felt something in her
chest which she couldn’t quite remember experiencing before.

  And it took her by complete surprise.

  ‘I’m usually better than this.’

  Jonah was all fingers and thumbs when Sophie watched him put the cot together. He felt nervous and his palms started to sweat. ‘I think it’s because I’ve not done something like this for a while.’

  ‘I’m putting you off, sorry.’ She smiled and he couldn’t help but grin back. ‘Call me when it’s done.’

  ‘You don’t have to go.’

  ‘I’ll be in the nursery. I’ve got to start washing clothes before she arrives.’ Sophie let out a little sigh. ‘I’ve even had to buy special washing liquid and softener so she’s not allergic to anything.’ Then she stood there and he could see a little hesitation. ‘I’ll let you press on.’

  As soon as she left the room, he let out a sigh of relief.

  He didn’t know what was going on, other than he fancied her rotten.

  Glancing around their bedroom, Sophie had asked for the cot to be pushed into the corner. Jonah knew Harry would probably get annoyed when he saw it.

  Suddenly he concentrated and followed the instructions. Within half an hour the bedside cot with wheels had been put together.

  Jonah noticed she was in another room so sat on the bed and looked around, seeing her things and noticed a chair where Harry dumped his stuff.

  They were an odd combination and he wanted to find out how they got together.

  Harry had obviously kept her out of the limelight and wanted to keep Sophie’s existence under lock and key.

  ‘All done!’ he shouted and heard her run down the corridor. ‘Be careful, you might fall.’

  She jumped into the room and he noticed her face.

  Sophie looked like she was going to both cry and laugh.

  ‘It’s beautiful.’ She stroked the cot. ‘I got one with wheels so I can put it in the spare bedroom if Harry gets in a mood. Or sling him in there instead.’

  ‘What’s next?’

  A few shelves later, and various bits and bobs, Jonah was finished by half six and thought it was time to head off.

  ‘Would you like to stay for dinner, if you’re not doing anything?’ Sophie asked, looking wide-eyed up at him. ‘I appreciate your help. I’m not a bad cook but I’m not brilliant.’

  ‘I’m sure Harry doesn’t think you’re that bad.’

  ‘He rarely eats at home in the weekdays so it’s nice to have company.’

  That’s when he realised Sophie was lonely.

  She lived in a beautiful house with everything around her but she was all alone.

  ‘That’s really kind but I better head off. Maybe another time?’ he said, getting his things together.

  ‘Would you like a beer or glass of wine before you go?’

  ‘I better not. I’ve got the motorbike with me.’

  ‘Thanks for your help.’ Sophie put her hand out and he shook it.

  ‘Not a problem.’

  Walking out and sitting on his bike, he felt a little odd.

  There was something about Sophie that drew you in but there was no mistaking it, she wasn’t happy with Harry.

  Then what woman could be, knowing he was a philanderer who liked to drink too much and loved the headiness of drugs. Even at his age he wasn’t slowing down.

  Jonah liked Sophie. She was easy going and quite shy which was lovely. When he smiled at her, there was a head turn that was pretty endearing, like she couldn’t believe he was looking.

  And he thought she was incredibly attractive.

  Nothing had changed since the first time he laid eyes on her.

  Putting on his helmet and jacket, he revved up his engine.

  He had no other plans and wondered why he was running away from some company that evening. Onya said she was going to be late home, and his other option was to go to the flat and hang out on his own.

  Something told him if he walked back to the house, everything would change.

  He didn’t know what.

  Taking off his helmet and putting it back in the holder, Jonah realised he was following his gut instinct but was unsure why.

  He rang the doorbell and Sophie answered it with a bright smile.

  ‘Did you forget something?’ she asked, opening the door so he could step in.

  Right then, looking at her, he knew what he had forgotten and how it would change everything.

  ‘He’s a lovely man.’

  Sophie was with Kay having lunch a week later. ‘And good company.’

  ‘You should be saying that about your husband, not Jonah,’ her friend said, sipping water.

  Kay was a few inches taller than Sophie, and plumper, due to going out for lunch and dinner so often. She had beautiful blue eyes and dark brown hair. All in all, she didn’t look like the archetype agent, not like Harry.

  ‘Sophie, he can’t simply go on ignoring that you’re having a baby,’ Kay continued, looking pissed off.

  ‘I know,’ she said, not wanting to show how upset she felt. ‘I don’t know how to make him understand it’s a good thing, not a bad thing.’

  ‘Harry James likes all the attention for himself.’

  ‘Kay, that’s not fair.’

  ‘The problem with you, Sophie, is that you’re a pushover, and won’t stand up to him about his irresponsible behaviour. All this business about flying off in September. He knows the baby is due and just wants to bugger off. Pete and I are here for you.’ She touched Sophie’s hand. ‘Don’t you want to tell your dad what’s going on?’

  ‘Let him have peace at the rest home. The man has dementia and can barely remember me,’ she said, not wanting to let any of her family know what state her marriage was in. ‘And my brother’s in Miami with his family, so what can he do? I’m on my own.’

  There was a strong plummeting feeling of fear as she said it, and forced a smile.

  ‘Have you told them you’re pregnant?’

  ‘They’re no fans of Harry.’ Sophie grinned and tucked into her burger. ‘Since I got pregnant, he’s so dismissive.’ Then she looked up at Kay. ‘And he’s drinking more.’

  ‘I’m surprised that man’s liver hasn’t collapsed!’ Kay laughed out. ‘He doesn’t make you happy, can’t you see?’

  ‘I love him.’ Even when Sophie said it, she wasn’t quite sure.

  ‘How can you?’

  ‘He’s so used to having his own way.’ Sophie smiled and glanced at a young couple walking down the road pushing a stroller. ‘I’m not sure how this baby is going to be part of it. I don’t even know if he wants me to be part of his life.’

  Sitting there, looking at her food, she knew it was going to be really hard for Harry.

  On the other hand, he was nearly a decade older and should have a bone of responsibility in his body.

  As well as care and compassion of which he lacked both in recent months.

  Then she thought about Jonah.

  Sophie had done little else since they last met, and she put that down to her hormones.

  He was great to be with. All her woes seemed to disappear, and they spoke about all and sundry. The man never scowled at her opinion; he openly questioned and reasoned if he didn’t agree.

  Harry was so good at shooting things down; she took it for granted that someone could be reasonable.

  And she liked Jonah.

  The way he sounded, his looks and laugh. There was such warmth from him and it made her feel good. If he were going to be around for the next few months, then that would ease the worry of being a parent.

  A lone parent, she suspected.

  ‘You seem very fond of Jonah,’ Kay said. Sophie’s eyes immediately darted up, her heart unexpectedly beating fast on hearing the mention of his name. ‘And your husband seems besotted too, from what I can see when I catch them out together.’

  ‘That’s silly.’ She felt herself blush. ‘He’s a friendly man. That’s both Jonah and Harry. Unless you’re implying something?’


  ‘Don’t tell me you didn’t notice Harry. I bet he was acting like a school girl with a crush when Jonah was there.’

  ‘Kay.’

  ‘Way before I knew that fucker met you, I told you about Harry and his free and open attitude.’

  ‘He has never tried to push it up my arse, okay?’ Sophie lied, knowing when he tried, she gave him and his thing a hard slap. ‘And he has been open about his previous relationships and that he has never been hemmed in.’

  ‘Your husband has a chequered past.’ Her friend cleared her throat. ‘To put it mildly.’

  ‘I don’t want to know. He has a right to dabble.’

  ‘There’s dabble and there’s dabble.’

  ‘Does Jonah swing?’ Sophie asked, feeling like she was going to choke.

  ‘Not that I know of. Has he mentioned his girlfriend?’

  ‘Not much.’

  ‘I was there when they met.’ Kay started to laugh. ‘There was a party in a gallery. Even before I could get to speak to him, Onya was in there like a shot. Never seen anything like it in my life.’

  ‘I bet she’s stunning.’ As Sophie said it, she felt jealous that this woman was lucky enough to share Jonah’s time and bed. ‘I wouldn’t expect anything less.’

  ‘Under thirty, tall, thin, very pale, copper coloured hair and no tits!’ They both laughed. ‘She could pass for a young man.’

  ‘You don’t like her?’ Sophie noticed Kay’s frown. ‘You like everyone other than Harry.’

  ‘I don’t trust her and neither should Jonah.’

  ‘That’s not like you,’ she said, leaning forward. ‘What’s wrong with her?’

  ‘She doesn’t care who she hurts in the process of getting what she wants.’ Kay then gave her a strange look. ‘That woman is only out for herself.’

  ‘Sounds like Harry.’

  ‘Why change things?’

  Jonah was sitting in a bar with Onya, who seemed agitated every time he opened his mouth. ‘And what’s wrong? You’ve been uptight since you got here.’

  ‘I want you to move in,’ she said, looking pissed off. ‘Don’t you love me?’

  ‘You know I do,’ he said gently, holding her hand, hoping she couldn’t see through his fib. ‘Let’s take it slowly.’