Bitter Sweet Kisses

by S M Mala

  ‘Do you want me to ring him?’ Jonah asked and she looked at the poor man’s face, realising what an unfair situation she had put him in. ‘He should know.’

  ‘I don’t think he’d care,’ she whispered, holding Jonah’s hand.

  Then another contraction came, this time, it was stronger than before and she realised how hard she was squeezing Jonah, then let go, holding onto the side of the pool.

  ‘Use me,’ he said, moving closer. ‘I’m here for you, Soph, you know that.’

  She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and buried her head in his neck.

  Her mouth touched his skin as she closed her eyes, hoping the pain would go away.

  ‘You know, my friends can’t stand Harry,’ she said, trying not to scream from the excruciating spasm in her body. ‘When he met Madison, I thought she was going to punch him. That’s why I’m alone!’

  Then as quickly as it came, it subsided and she looked up at Jonah.

  ‘And I’m lucky you’re here,’ Sophie whispered. ‘Really lucky.’

  He was watching her and she couldn’t figure out what he was thinking.

  ‘Do you need some gas and air?’ the nurse asked, peering over at them. All Sophie could do was nod. ‘When you feel the next contraction, take a deep breath, okay?’

  The t-shirt felt like it was constricting her body. It was as if Jonah knew because he gently pulled it off until she was totally naked in the water.

  ‘Whatever happens, you can’t look between my legs,’ she said, watching him start to smirk. ‘I can’t tell you not to look at my tits. Mainly because of their size, they’re keeping me afloat and are bashing into your face.’

  Jonah started to laugh and let out a massive sigh.

  ‘Are you supposed to be somewhere else?’ she asked, feeling the start of another contraction.

  ‘I should be celebrating because I got some good news about a project and a book deal.’

  ‘That’s wonderful! When does-.’

  She was shocked into silence before letting out a painful yell. He shoved the pipe towards her mouth, so she could use the pain relief and then Jonah took some himself.

  ‘I feel it! I feel the baby! It’s coming!’ Sophie screamed out. ‘Help me!’

  ‘Okay darling, let’s take a look,’ the nurse said, peering over.

  Sophie immediately put her hand over Jonah’s eyes, who started to laugh.

  ‘It doesn’t matter what I see,’ he said, pulling her hand away. ‘It’s all natural.’

  ‘The baby is on its way,’ was the next thing she heard.

  Jonah’s shocked expression was the last thing she remembered before feeling the head and the most excruciating pain ever.

  And it was he who took the baby and handed it to Sophie, placing the child on her breast.

  ‘It’s a baby!’ he said, looking completely wide-eyed at her. ‘You’ve got a baby.’

  She wasn’t quite sure what to do and saw this scrunched up little wrinkled ball of flesh.

  ‘Hello,’ she said and noticed Jonah was starting to cry. ‘Hello, Amelia, lovely to meet you. This is Jonah, who you will remember for the rest of your life because he was here when you were born.’

  He laughed out loudly, and while things were happening around her, she leant forward and kissed him on the lips.

  The taste was so sweet; it blew her mind.

  ‘Thank you,’ she whispered, still close to his face. ‘I will never forget this, ever.’

  ‘I don’t want you to,’ he replied.

  Sophie wondered if he felt the same way about her as she did about him.

  Elation because she had her baby.

  And because she was in love.

  With Jonah.

  ‘Ah, she’s so pretty.’

  He was now dried off, sitting with Sophie and the baby in the hospital room.

  Every time he looked at the mother, she couldn’t stop smiling.

  Jonah’s heart pounded when he met her eyes.

  ‘Soph, she looks like you.’

  This woman had given birth to a baby, which wasn’t even his, but he felt like the child belonged to him.

  He felt like Sophie was his too.

  The whole event had completely confused everything in his heart and head.

  Soon he would have to think straight, though not right now.

  ‘Jonah,’ Sophie said, as they watched the baby sleep. ‘You were wonderful!’

  ‘It was an eye-opener,’ he whispered, touching the soft skin of the child. ‘You’re going to have to make me her God father, you do know that? And I expect to be invited to all her birthday parties as well as vet her boyfriends; that goes without saying.’

  ‘I don’t know what I’d have done without you.’ And the tears welled in her eyes as she looked up at him. ‘I can’t put it into words but I know that-.’

  ‘What do we have here?’ Ross walked in, holding a bunch of flowers. ‘We were supposed to be celebrating but you decide to turn into a mid-wife instead.’

  ‘Hello,’ Jonah replied, grinning at his best friend. ‘Here’s what all the fuss is about.’

  ‘What a beauty!’ said Ross, looking on in delight. ‘And the baby’s not too bad either. Congratulations Sophie.’ He bent down and gave her a kiss. ‘I’m here to whisk him away.’

  ‘He needs a stiff drink,’ sighed Sophie, still grinning.

  ‘I don’t think I should go,’ Jonah said, not wanting to be parted from them so soon. ‘I should stay and-.’

  ‘You’ve done so much. Go home and celebrate your good news.’

  ‘What good news?’ Ross asked.

  ‘It’s not important.’

  ‘Jonah, it’s amazing and you should be with your friends,’ she said, gazing at her baby.

  ‘Are you sure?’

  ‘Sure I’m sure.’ Sophie turned to Ross. ‘He helped me change a nappy. For the life of me, the plastic dolls I practised on were far easier.’

  He couldn’t move.

  There was no point.

  All he wanted to do was stay in the room, locked away from it all.

  ‘Let the lady get some rest,’ Ross said, pulling his arm. ‘And come and visit tomorrow.’

  ‘I should be home by then,’ added Sophie.

  ‘Ring me if you need anything,’ whispered Jonah, leaning down to kiss the baby. ‘What were you going to say before he walked in?’

  ‘It can wait.’ Then she kissed his cheek, letting her lips stay there a moment longer than usual before looking up at him. ‘Go and have some fun.’

  Walking out, he felt elated and sad about leaving her.

  His friend was guiding him out of the hospital and towards the car.

  Then Ross stopped and turned to look at him.

  ‘I’m not going to tell you what I think because you won’t listen. But there is something going on between you two, and you are going to have to re-address it, okay?’

  ‘I don’t know what you mean,’ he replied, shrugging his shoulders.

  ‘You want to play stupid, that’s fine by me.’

  ‘Nothing’s going on.’ Jonah looked around the car park and noticed the lights flicker as Ross unlocked the doors. ‘I popped in on the off chance and-.’

  ‘When you called me to pick you up, you said Harry called you and there was a woman in his room. Then, on the off chance, you pop to his house and his wife has gone into labour. What man would stay through the birth of another man’s child?’

  Halting, Jonah looked at Ross shaking his head.

  ‘You would do the same thing,’ he replied, as Ross ran his fingers over his hair.

  ‘Only if I was in love with her.’

  ‘I’m not in love with Sophie.’

  ‘Are you sure? The problem you will find is that if you don’t love her, she might have fallen in love with you. Then what are you going to tell Harry James?’

  Jonah hadn’t thought of that.

  ‘I’m fine.’

  She watched Kay cradle Am
elia in her arms. ‘And it all went well.’

  ‘Thanks to Jonah.’

  ‘Thanks to Jonah,’ whispered Sophie.

  He had texted and called to check she was okay, but he hadn’t visited.

  The euphoria of the birth had subsided, but not the pain of her stitches.

  Now more than ever, she knew what she was feeling about Jonah.

  It wasn’t a whim or a moment of madness.

  She was in love but knew nothing would come of it.

  Things were complicated enough.

  ‘And Harry?’ asked Kay tentatively.

  ‘I sent him an email saying I had the baby. Gave the weight, eight pounds and three ounces, and even told him her name.’ Sophie looked at their child in her best friend’s arms. ‘I’ve not heard from him since.’

  ‘Ah!’

  ‘So he’s gone AWOL. I have to stay here and wait for him to tell me who that woman was, and why he can’t be bothered to call.’ She forced a smile. ‘I called the hotel a few hours later, asking to speak to Mrs Harry James. They told me she and her husband had gone out.’

  ‘Sophie?’ Kay gently said. ‘You’ve just had a baby and your head is all over the place.’

  ‘My head is firmly planted on my shoulders and I wanted to see what he would do. God, why did I marry him? He could never change. What was I thinking?’ She sat down next to Kay. ‘I’ve been avoiding facing up to the fact he’s an adulterous fucker and I’m stuck in a hole here. I spoke to the estate agents about getting my home back and-.’

  ‘You're serious?’

  ‘Deadly. They’ve let it out on a short let and I can’t get it back until the middle of January. This is Harry’s home and I’m not going to stay here longer than I should. But I’ve not got the cash to move out right now.’

  ‘Move in with us. We’ll help and-.’

  ‘I need to do this properly.’

  ‘Are you saying the marriage is over?’

  ‘I think it was over the day I conceived his child.’ Sophie leant down and kissed her baby’s head. ‘And deep down, I knew but hoped I was wrong.’

  ‘Why you?’

  Jonah and Onya were sitting having breakfast a few days later. She had gone silent when she found out he was at Sophie’s side as she gave birth. And very angry. ‘Hasn’t she got friends?’

  ‘Kay was out of the country and-.’

  ‘It wasn’t for you to turn up!’

  There was going to be another quarrel.

  It didn’t matter that he gave her unforgettable sex, even if he said so himself, that morning. She still wasn’t to be placated.

  ‘Four days ago this happened and I’ve had brilliant news about the future. Can’t you be happy? It’s like a karma thing. I get the chance to show people my work and there’s a new baby in the world. It’s amazing.’

  ‘And when’s Harry coming back?’

  ‘Today allegedly.’

  He watched Onya’s eyes dart up.

  ‘What?’ he asked, feeling confused. ‘Do you know different?’

  ‘I heard, on the grapevine, he extended his stay. Looks like he’s going to be an uncooperative father. No surprise there.’ She let out a little laugh. ‘I doubt if his wife will see him this side of her child’s sixteenth birthday at this rate.’

  Jonah couldn’t help but feel upset at the comment, knowing after speaking to Ross, he made sure not to make too much contact with Sophie.

  His friend was right. He shouldn’t rock the boat when it came to his career.

  But he was itching to see her, and when he picked up his motorbike the following day, he was in two minds whether to knock on the door.

  Then decided it was best just to leave and let Sophie get on with it.

  ‘When I spoke to him yesterday, he didn’t say that,’ added Jonah, increasingly confused.

  ‘What did he say?’

  ‘He spoke about what’s coming up with me. Sent me over dates and information.’

  ‘Did he ask about his wife?’

  ‘No.’

  When Jonah tried to talk to Harry, he was brushed off and told that he needed to speak to him about more pressing things. They could wet the baby’s head when he returned home.

  ‘Jonah, Harry is a selfish, self-centred fucker. He will never change. The man reels you in then lets you go. That’s his trick. He’ll be running out on them as soon as he gets back. And she’ll be a fool to take him back.’

  ‘Sophie isn’t a fool and knows what he has been up to.’ He glared at Onya whose eyes widened.

  ‘Really?’ she asked with half a smile. ‘Surely she must have known what she married.’

  ‘The thing is, she stupidly called him when she was worried about going into labour, and some woman answered. I think they had a bit of a ding dong and that’s all I know.’

  ‘At least he’s persistent with being shit,’ Onya replied, taking their plates and throwing them into the sink.

  ‘And here was I thinking you’re a fan.’

  ‘Of Harry? He’s good at fooling people. That’s always been his skill.’

  And Jonah knew, for once, his girlfriend was right.

  ‘Let me explain.’

  Harry turned up two days after he was due home, which meant their baby was now five days old. When Sophie heard the door open, she wanted the throw the breast pump at his head but thought it would be a waste of milk.

  He was standing in the living room with a large bunch of flowers and a big grin.

  ‘I hate you,’ she said flatly. The smile wasn’t wiped from his face. ‘Not only have you shown me why I should never have married you. You have only highlighted why you are not a fit man to be a father.’

  ‘Sophie?’ he said, walking closer.

  ‘I knew you’d screw around. I thought you’d wait until we had been married for five years, not five minutes!’

  ‘I love you. Where’s our beautiful baby girl?’

  ‘What do you care?’

  She walked out the living room and went into the kitchen, getting all the bottles ready. Sophie wasn’t having a good time breast feeding so seeing Harry wasn’t helping matters.

  Plus she was shattered as the whole thing had taken a toll on her energy.

  This was when she realised she was totally on her own with Amelia.

  ‘I want you to sleep in the spare room as I need to have the cot with me,’ she said, knowing he was walking closer. ‘And I don’t want to hear your bullshit because you and your mouth are full of it!’

  ‘I’m building a future for our family.’

  ‘You’re building a future for your cock to fall off!’ she hissed, turning to see him still smiling. ‘I’m not letting you near me until you get tested for every sexually transmitted disease there is. And that’s only to shake your hand!’

  ‘God, I love you so much, Sophie!’

  ‘Fuck you!’

  Barging past him, she went up the stairs, grabbing her baby’s clean washing with the intention of not speaking to him.

  There was deep rage burning inside her, and she knew that anything rose tinted she had with him was completely replaced with a cold, stark reality.

  Putting the clothes away in the nursery, after standing there and silently seething, she walked out and noticed he left his bag in the middle of the corridor. She kicked it hard before going to see her daughter.

  Then she got the shock of her life.

  Harry was holding their baby in his arms.

  Before she could scream at him to put her down, he looked up at her.

  ‘She’s beautiful. Our little baby is perfect.’

  Now Sophie was completely confused and wondered if he was drunk.

  ‘Put her back in the cot,’ she said coolly, going closer. ‘Milly needs to sleep.’

  ‘Amelia James, what a beautiful name, and Milly for short. Did Jonah see her? Was he amazed as I am? I bet he was wonderful and calm. I should have been here.’

  ‘You were too busy screwing someone else. We’ve n
ot even been together three years and you just can’t keep faithful, can you?’ Taking the sleeping baby out of his arms, she gently put her down. ‘I don’t know what I think of you right now.’

  He let out a long sigh and threw his head back before looking down at her.

  ‘Do you want to hear what I have to say?’

  ‘You were supposed to come home two days ago, but delayed seeing your new born child. Any other human being would be fighting tooth and nail to get back. You can’t be bothered as it is business first, your social life second, and baby third.’ She looked at him and felt so much anger. It was the first time she really wished she wasn’t with Harry. ‘And I don’t even know where I come on the list.’

  Glancing at their baby, she let out a deep breath and decided to walk out of the room.

  The emotional side of Harry was purely down to the guilt of being a shit husband.

  Walking to the spare room, and once again kicking his suitcase as she walked past, Sophie waited for him to follow, which he dutifully did.

  He closed the door and as she was about to let rip, he lunged forward and kissed her.

  This wasn’t what she expected, so she tried to push him off and recalled he was very strong when he wanted to be.

  Fighting off his mouth, he managed to hold the back of her head and slipped his tongue in.

  Again she tried to push him off but Harry wasn’t giving up until he grabbed her so tightly, and wouldn’t stop kissing her. Then she couldn’t fight back and kissed him back, now desperate for him to hold her and make things good again.

  Even when enveloped in his arms, she wasn’t quite sure what she was doing.

  There was no scent of alcohol on his lips or breath; it was a clean tasting, fresh Harry.

  The problem she found, it wasn’t anything like when she kissed Jonah.

  Something flickered quite deep in a kiss that was never meant to happen.

  Slowly he moved away, the blue eyes gazing lovingly at her.

  ‘I told you if you ever slept with anyone else, we would be over,’ she said, trying to compose her breathing, which was now rapid. ‘And you did it so-.’

  ‘I have never made love to anyone other than you,’ he said, grabbing her face in his hands. ‘I love you so much. I know in the past few months I’ve not been attentive enough, but I’m trying to get my head around it all. It’s a big step for me, even though I’m a middle age man.’