Bitter Sweet Kisses

by S M Mala

  ‘I’ll have to check with Natalie and Harry.’

  ‘He said it would be okay.’

  ‘Not if it infringes on the publishing deal.’

  ‘Who’d have thought I would have ever heard you utter those words!’ she said, looking delighted. ‘It seems the business man is now taking over the creative one.’

  ‘I don’t want to jeopardise things. Anyway, Gwendolyn was never interested showing my work when I asked. She said it wasn’t good enough.’

  Jonah remembered pitching time and time again, only to be rejected. The only good thing that came out of that was he met Onya at an exhibition, and she introduced him to Harry.

  It didn’t take long for his breakfast to turn up, and he tucked in realising he was famished from love making. Everything tasted good on his plate.

  Just as he was about to eat his toast, he noticed Onya was staring.

  ‘Sorry, I didn’t eat much last night,’ he smiled, half-heartedly. Chewing slowly, Jonah started to feel nervous. ‘And we haven’t seen each other for most of the week.’

  ‘That’s because when I ask you to come out, you’re busy. And you don’t ask me to go out, not recently.’

  Wiping his mouth with the napkin, he pushed his empty plate away.

  ‘I wanted to talk face to face,’ he began. ‘I thought it would be best.’

  ‘That sounds ominous,’ Onya replied, frowning. ‘Have you done something you want to confess? Is it you and Ross? You seem to like living with him.’ She let out a little laugh. ‘What is it?’

  ‘I’ve fallen in love.’

  Even saying it, he knew was a gamble while he watched her trying to sink in what he had just declared.

  ‘In love?’ she asked, starting to look confused.

  ‘I have fallen in love and she feels the same way. I’ve spent most of the last two days with her.’

  ‘I see,’ she said, taking a deep breath. ‘And this woman turned up out of the blue?’

  ‘I’ve known for some time that it wasn’t working between us,’ he honestly replied. ‘I don’t want to go in too deep about my decision, but I’m very fond of you.’

  ‘Fond?’ she said, nearly choking on her words.

  ‘I’ve met the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with.’

  ‘Sorry Jonah, is this some joke?’

  ‘I’m serious.’ He moved closer and noticed there wasn’t a flicker of emotion. ‘I’ve never felt like this before and she is the one.’

  ‘How would you know?’

  ‘Because I knew it from the moment I set eyes on her, just I didn’t believe it. I was unsure and now I’m not.’

  ‘And me?’ she asked, her face squinting in response. ‘Our relationship didn’t mean anything? Were you killing time?’

  ‘I never thought I’d see her again and then I did.’ He let out a sigh. ‘And I realised I couldn’t let another minute pass without her. I’m sorry. I wish it could be different but it can’t. I’m in love, you see.’

  That’s all he could say.

  And getting up and walking out was all Onya could do.

  ‘Kay, it has happened so fast.’

  She was sitting with her best friend at a local café as Amelia was sleeping in her buggy. Play in the park had left the child exhausted. ‘And I love him.’

  ‘You know Harry’s going to go mad!’ laughed out Kay. ‘I’d love to see his face.’

  ‘One week we’ve been together and he’s going to Sardinia at the end of the month. Who knows what will happen then?’ She laughed out loudly. The happiness was overtaking her body. ‘He is wonderful.’

  ‘Like you said, it has been only a week.’

  ‘An amazing week!’

  ‘And Onya?’ asked her friend, sipping a cup of tea. ‘Did he manage to kick that strumpet into place?’

  ‘I didn’t tell him about Harry and Onya. I couldn’t,’ she said, anxiously looking around. ‘I mean, how’s he going to feel when he finds out I negotiated my divorce settlement to look after Milly, based on me not telling him about it? Jonah will be upset about the betrayal.’

  It had constantly crossed her mind he would find out about her deal with Harry. There was nothing signed to say she couldn’t say, but she didn’t want to hurt Jonah.

  ‘What are you thinking?’ Kay asked.

  ‘Milly turns one next week, and I want to have a party but I’m not sure who to invite.’ Then she grimaced. ‘Should I send an invite to Harry to be kind?’

  ‘He wouldn’t know what the word ‘kind’ meant! No way! Keep him away from you, as far as possible.’ Kay looked angry, as she always did when speaking about Harry. ‘He’s a shit!’

  ‘He’s a successful shit.’

  ‘What if you saw him again, what would you do?’

  ‘Run,’ she honestly replied and swallowed hard.

  ‘Are you still scared of him?’

  ‘I don’t know if it was the punch to my face, the look on his afterwards or when he grabbed my head and shoved it against the door frame.’ She swallowed hard. ‘But it was the words, I guess, that did the most damage.’

  ‘Jesus, Soph! You should still go to the police.’

  ‘He was angry and full of hate. I have nightmares where he’s chasing me down the road, and I’m holding onto Milly for dear life.’ She inhaled deeply. ‘How can he make me feel like that?’

  ‘You should know more than most about manipulation. They say they love you, only to break you when they’re ready.’

  ‘I wonder if that’s what he really wanted.’

  ‘He wanted you not Milly. And like I said, he’s a shit through and through.’

  ‘And you’re upset because he managed to take some of your clients, due to him being an underhand shit,’ Sophie whispered sympathetically as Kay growled in response. ‘You can get more.’

  ‘Can you get me, Jonah?’ Kay cheekily replied.

  ‘He’s all mine.’

  ‘And speak of the devil!’

  Sophie turned to see him strolling down the road with his bag hanging across his body. There was a massive pang of excitement and love when he smiled, pulling up his shades.

  ‘Gorgeous,’ whispered Kay. ‘Absolutely bloody gorgeous!’

  ‘I know.’

  ‘Hello there!’ he said brightly, bending down and kissing Sophie full on the lips. ‘You look beautiful.’ Then he turned to Kay. ‘Long time, no see, and you’re not so bad either.’

  ‘You look very well plus full of charm!’ laughed Kay, standing to give him a hug and a kiss. ‘It seems a lot of things have happened in a week.’

  He sat down next to Sophie, then turned the buggy to look at Amelia.

  ‘Isn’t she the most beautiful thing?’ he said, bending down to gently kiss the sleeping child. ‘She’s the splitting image of her mum.’

  ‘Thank God for small mercies,’ Kay mumbled, making Jonah smile. ‘And the genetic father of that little girl isn’t going to be happy you’re involved with the mother, is he?’

  There was a massive sigh from Jonah. His phone rang, he shrugged then answered.

  ‘Hi Natalie,’ he replied, reaching out and stroking Sophie’s cheek. ‘I’ll be there in a few hours. Something cropped up. I won’t be late.’ Jonah hung up and kissed her again. ‘I love you.’

  ‘I love you.’

  Her heart was racing and she felt nervous being so close to him.

  ‘And I love you both but I have to go. You know what it’s like being a busy agent. How is the anti-Christ, if I’m allowed to ask? I hear he has been globe-trotting all over the world, and you’re making him rich.’

  ‘Harry James is fine,’ he replied and Sophie noticed Jonah looked uncomfortable.

  ‘And is he going to be fine when you tell him about Sophie?’

  ‘He doesn’t need to know,’ Sophie interjected, seeing Kay was being protective. ‘Jonah has a private life. He’s at least allowed that, aren’t you?’

  ‘I am.’ He took her hand and held it to his che
st. She could feel his heart pumping. ‘This is what happens when you’re near me. It beats hard.’

  ‘Or is that down to the worry Harry’s going to smash you into a pulp when he finds out?’ Kay replied lightly before laughing. ‘If you ever need another agent, you know where to find me.’

  ‘I don’t want to discuss business,’ he said politely. ‘But I’ll keep you in mind.’

  Kay kissed the pair of them and wandered off down the road.

  ‘Come here,’ he said, grabbing her face. ‘I love you so much Sophie, do you know that?’

  She couldn’t breathe.

  It was stifling, the surge of love.

  ‘I want us to be together, a family.’ Then he placed a gentle kiss on her lips. ‘Are you listening?’

  All she could see was him, and her ears seemed muffled when she looked into his eyes.

  ‘I love your home. It’s a good investment,’ he said.

  That’s when her hearing perked up.

  ‘Investment?’ she whispered.

  ‘We need a bigger place. I went to some local estate agents and got details about larger properties. They emailed me all the details so I can show you. I have enough money to buy a house for cash, though they have to have a studio or I can build one at the end of the garden.’

  ‘Jonah!’ she replied, aghast, not quite believing it. ‘I only moved in a few months ago and I’m not taking a risk. Not again.’ Then she noticed his pained expression. ‘I went through a really bad time and I’m still finding my feet.’

  ‘I’m not a risk.’

  ‘All men are a risk,’ she whispered and kissed his cheek. ‘You promise the world then things change.’

  ‘I’m not like him.’

  ‘You’re not like any man I have ever met.’ Sophie closed her eyes and gulped hard. ‘And I’m so lucky you’re here. But we both have complicated connections to an even more complicated man.’

  ‘I want to be a family with you and Milly. I want us to be together and maybe, one day, we’ll give her a brother or a sister.’

  ‘Slow down,’ she laughed, her head spinning from his words. ‘My pelvic floor needs to strengthen before that.’

  ‘I think it’s strong enough and more sex will make it stronger. And we have to get married first.’

  There was no stopping him.

  Jonah was on a high-speed roll and Sophie was getting giddy.

  It had only been a matter of days.

  ‘You’ve not said anything.’

  He had waited until returning from his meeting to speak to Sophie about his proposal. Now he watched her make dinner. ‘Don’t you want to get married?’

  Her response was to look at him as if he was mad.

  Jonah got up and walked back into the living room, seeing the newly bathed baby in her playpen, smiling at something on the television.

  ‘Milly,’ he said and she turned to smile at him. ‘Speak to your mother.’

  He was met with a laugh and a gurgle before she looked at the television again.

  ‘I see. You’re both not talking to me.’

  Sophie walked in with a bottle of milk and glanced at him.

  ‘Jonah, not now.’ Sophie took Amelia out of the playpen. ‘Milly needs to go to bed.’

  ‘I’ll read her a story,’ he said enthusiastically. ‘She’s going to have to get used to me being around.’

  Tucked under Sophie’s arm, he noticed Amelia grin before resting her head against her mother’s shoulder. He followed them into the bedroom.

  ‘Take her and no laughing,’ she sternly said, handing the baby over. ‘If she gets hiccups, you’re in trouble. Here’s the bottle and read her a story.’ Then she kissed him. ‘I love you, Jonah.’

  Sighing in response, he gave Amelia her bottle and started to read a story. The little girl sat up in her cot, listening and looking at the pictures as her blinking started to get slower. He took the bottle and placed her in the sleeping bag, zipping her up. Then Jonah gave her a pacifier and her soft toy.

  His heart melted on seeing her start to fall asleep as he stroked her hair, watching the eyes start to shut.

  ‘Milly, I love you and your mummy,’ he whispered, watching her fall into a peaceful slumber. ‘And I want to be with you forever. We’ll have so much fun and I’ll make you happy. I loved you since the first moment I set eyes on you. The same way I feel about your mummy. I’m your daddy now, no one else.’

  Listening to her breathing, he felt emotional, knowing the past seven days had been the best.

  Even breaking with Onya and her angry messages didn’t upset him.

  Harry was still calling and texting daily, but this made him feel a little uneasy and slightly guilty about his level of deceit towards his agent.

  ‘When?’ he heard Sophie ask, standing at the door.

  ‘When what?’ Jonah replied, confused by the question, but still gazing at the sleeping baby.

  ‘When do you intend for us to get hitched?’

  He sharply turned to look at her.

  ‘Only have this conversation if you’re serious.’ Jonah stood up, seeing her smile. ‘I’m deadly serious about us getting married.’

  ‘You have to ask me nicely. Last time I wasn’t asked. It was assumed.’

  ‘As soon as possible,’ he said, grabbing her hands.

  ‘Jonah?’ she asked, looking up at him. ‘I have a birthday party to organise next week. My baby is one year old.’

  ‘Our baby.’ Jonah took a deep breath. ‘She is our baby, my child. And when we get married, I’ll adopt her.’

  ‘I’m keeping my maiden name,’ laughed Sophie. ‘Just in case.’

  ‘Just in case what?’

  ‘It’s a bugger to change things, you know. You have to send divorce papers and all that stuff.’

  Jonah wrapped his arms around her, and manoeuvred Sophie into the living room, remembering to move some of Amelia’s toys as he sat her down on the couch.

  ‘There’s no ‘just in case’, Ms Mills.’

  ‘You are deadly serious,’ she replied and he wanted to laugh at her expression. ‘I’ve not been divorced for long. How’s it going to look?’

  ‘Who cares how it looks? Listen, do you love me?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Do you want to be with me?’

  ‘You know I do.’

  ‘Then Sophie, will you please marry me?’

  ‘You know I will. I love you.’

  Jonah smiled before placing a gently kiss on her lips, as he whispered,

  ‘I was going to marry you anyway, whether you like it or not.’

  ‘I mean, that’s fast.’

  Madison looked at her in utter disbelief.

  They were sitting in a room at the offices, supposedly talking about a case. Madison was still being trained, and Sophie was her mentor.

  She also used every one of her connections to secure the job for Madison, knowing it was important she had an income and independence.

  That was the most important thing, a safe and secure life.

  ‘Don’t say a word,’ whispered Sophie, pretending to type something on the keyboard.

  ‘After Milly’s party, I could see you were all over him like some poisonous rash!’ laughed Madison. ‘And you obviously drugged the man though he is hot, really hot.’

  ‘I love him.’

  ‘Doesn’t he work for your husband?’

  ‘He doesn’t work for Harry. Harry works for him.’

  ‘So you’ve got together with your ex-husband’s boss? Who said you weren’t a devious bitch.’

  ‘I wish Harry weren't on the scene but it is work, and I won’t muck that up for Jonah.’ She let out a happy sigh. ‘He’s wonderful!’

  ‘Can I be bridesmaid?’ she cheekily asked as Sophie laughed and checked her watch.

  ‘How has Fadwa been? Is she okay?’

  ‘Oh God!’ said Madison, closing her eyes and looking agitated. ‘She’s not good. I was shocked she went back to him in May, to be honest. I
mean, what sort of life is that?’ Then she hesitated. ‘I know I did it a fair few times but my ex was an arsehole. Her husband is more controlling with an evil streak.’

  ‘But she keeps in contact and that’s a good thing.’

  ‘She emails from a coffee shop and texts using a pay as you go phone. I see trouble.’

  ‘I feel bad,’ Sophie said, closing down her computer. ‘I was a little wrapped up in my own problems. I tried to talk her out of it but she wouldn’t listen. She kept saying I had something, like a home and a job, yet she had nothing. That’s not the case.’

  ‘All she has got are the clothes on her back and the kids.’ Madison looked at her phone. ‘She’s too scared to face the outside world and let people think she’s a failure.’

  ‘She isn’t.’

  ‘Remember how you felt after Harry?’

  Sophie bit her lip and nodded.

  Failure was the tip of the iceberg for words she chose to describe herself, and how she felt.

  Hurt was the word she would mostly use when internally summarising her life.

  It wasn’t about Harry.

  It was about Jonah.

  Now she had him back. There was a deep fear he would turn around and change his mind.

  Her phone rang and it was him.

  ‘Hello,’ she said, getting up and touching Madison’s shoulder as she walked out. ‘How are you?’

  ‘Are you on your way home?’

  ‘Shouldn’t you be packing?’ she whispered, knowing he was going away to Sardinia.

  The idea of being without him made her scared, but she wanted to hide it.

  ‘I fly in a couple of days and can pack in five minutes.’ Then he laughed. ‘Fancy coming with me?’

  ‘I can’t take the time off,’ she said, heading for the bus stop. ‘Thanks for the invite. What time are you coming?’

  ‘I’ve got meetings and some other things to do. I won’t be late. Could you keep Milly up for me?’

  ‘She needs to be asleep by seven.’

  Her heart crumbled on hearing how he asked and she wished she could, but after a session in the nursery, the child would simply be exhausted from nattering in baby garble to her friends.