Family Affairs

by Jen Calonita

  See? I didn’t say Alexis’s name.

  Rodney chuckles. “You have no idea how happy you’ve made her.”

  Moments later, we’re standing at the open gym doors. The Clark High School gymnasium had been transformed into a fall festival. There are bales of hay stacked up along the walls that are topped with pumpkins and mums in plum, orange, and yellow. Scarecrows stand guard at the punch stand where orange-iced cupcakes are arranged in a cake tower. So far I’ve spotted candy and caramel apples and even a cotton candy machine. Yum. The only bad move, it seems, is that someone decided to partially cover the floor in hay, which is proving to be a dance hazard. Organza-clad girls are sliding around in their open-toe sandals.

  “You made it!” Liz shrieks. She pulls Austin and me into a group hug. When she lets go, I see she’s wearing the sparkly blue Jenni Kanye dress we bought at The Grove. Her curly hair is down. It bounces as she bops to the beat of the music.

  “I can’t believe you were all in on this and no one told me!” Austin laughs.

  Someone covers my eyes and whispers, “Guess who?”

  “Beth!” I turn around to hug her petite frame. There’s no hiding Allison’s tall ballerina body standing right behind her. “Ali! I’ve missed you guys!” The pair of them, plus Lizzie and Austin, were the only people nice enough to befriend me when I masqueraded as Rachel at Clark. I haven’t seen either girl since they visited me this summer on the set of PYA a few months ago.

  “The best part about you being here is watching our favorite Homecoming court princess’s reaction.” Allison tosses her brown hair over her shoulder and I see Austin’s ex-girlfriend, Lori, standing ten feet away with her righthand minion, Jessie. Both girls are staring at us with their mouths wide open.

  “She so doesn’t deserve to rule,” Beth laments and pushes her tortoiseshell glasses back onto her nose. Beth is wearing an ankle-length strapless olive green dress that contrasts nicely with her brown skin. “She’s evil! What any guy sees in her, I have no idea. No offense, Austin.” Beth blushes.

  “None taken.” Austin smiles easily and turns his attention to his pal Rob Murray, who is Beth’s boyfriend. Austin seems oblivious to the crowd of people whispering about us. Larry the Liar, however, is still nowhere in sight. All is good.

  With Austin not paying attention, Allison whispers, “I hate the idea of Austin and Lori having to dance together when the court is introduced.” Her black cocktail tank dress shimmers in the low-lit disco lights.

  “Maybe we should cause a scene and spill cider on her dress,” Liz suggests.

  “Lizzie,” I warn. “The last thing I need is more drama.

  Don’t worry about it. The dance is tradition. I can deal. Tonight is all about Austin.” I don’t say it out loud, but I also want to enjoy a night off from any cattiness or girl fights.

  “Just look at her smiling and staring at your boyfriend,” Beth complains anyway. “It’s not fair. Girls like Lori always get what they want. And you want to know why? Because they don’t care what anyone thinks of them. They do whatever they have to do to stay on top and squash anyone who tries to stop them.” I can’t help but think of Alexis and then just as quickly I push her out of my mind. Across the room, I see Lori and her friends staring at us. I look away.

  “Liz is right,” Allison says, squinting her eyes at Lori. “Let’s dump cider on her!”

  “Everything okay?” Austin asks as he rejoins the conversation. We all jump.

  “Uh-huh,” we say at the same time, making us sound quite suspicious.

  “Good.” Austin grins. “Mind if I steal my girl away for a dance?” He takes me by the hand and swings me onto the dance floor. It’s a fast song so I try not to be self-conscious about all the people staring as I sway to the beat. I don’t worry long because soon Allison and her date, Tim Corder, Beth and Rob, and Liz and Josh have formed a small circle with us. The eight of us stay on the dance floor, in that very spot near the DJ booth, without anyone bothering us the entire night. It helps that Rodney is continually circling our group with his “I’m a big, bad personal security dude” face on. Not that he needs it — aside from people using their disposable cameras to take poorly lit pictures, there’s not a photographer in sight.

  “It’s time to introduce our Homecoming court and pick our Homecoming king and queen,” Principal P. finally announces into the microphone. The room roars with approval. “Would all of the court and the nominees please join me at the DJ booth?”

  Austin winks at me before walking over to Principal P. I see Lori push aside her fellow court members so she can stand on the other side of Austin. Ugh.

  Lori’s blond hair is long and curly. She’s wearing a dress I own in my closet — a slinky nude Marc Bouwer number that if it didn’t glitter would make her look like she’s naked. It would look fabulous if she could wipe that smug look off her face. Lori sees me staring and smirks confidently as she gives her lips a quick pucker. I do my best True You face and repeat to myself quietly, “I don’t care about Lori. It’s only one dance. Three minutes of my life.” But I’m having trouble believing myself when Lori tucks a stray blond hair behind her ear and grips Austin’s arm. Liz grabs my hands in support and Beth and Allison put their hands on my shoulders. I hold my breath.

  Principal P. begins announcing the court. We clap politely for the freshman and sophomore members and pretend to be talking to one another when Lori’s name is called. Out of the corner of my eye I can see her waving and bowing to her fans like a complete cheeseball. The group of us can’t help but giggle. Finally it’s Austin’s turn. He blushes violently as we all hoot and holler.

  After the king and queen are announced and share a ceremonial dance, I hear the words I’ve been dreading. “And now our court will take the floor for a spotlight dance,” Principal P. announces.

  We move back to make room for them and I watch somewhat anxiously as Austin leads Lori onto the dance floor. Lori smirks at me as she holds Austin’s hand and I dig my own into Liz’s. I smile politely even though it’s killing me. I am not going to let her get to me. Instead, I focus on Austin. When he sees me, he smiles brightly. Then he turns to Lori and whispers something in her ear. While Austin talks, Lori’s smile begins to fade. She turns and glares at me before stomping off.

  “What was that about?” Liz asks, but before I can guess, Lori walks to the edge of the circle and pulls a guy I recognize from Clark’s basketball team onto the dance floor. The next thing I know, Austin is standing in front of me.

  “May I have this dance?” he asks.

  “But you’re supposed to dance with Lori,” I point out. “It’s okay with me. I know it’s tradition.” I don’t want Austin to think I’m the jealous type, even though every girl is a little.

  Austin smiles. “Well, I’m starting a new court tradition. It’s my birthday and on my birthday the only queen I want to dance with is my own.”

  I blush furiously. I don’t know what to say to that. It’s terribly romantic. I take his warm hand and let him lead me back into the spotlight. Liz and the gang are cheering, but I can barely hear them. I don’t even care that Lori is still glaring at me. I close my eyes and rest my head on Austin’s shoulder as we move ever so slightly to a slow song.

  I haven’t felt this free, this relaxed in . . . I don’t know how long. I feel like Cinderella. The only difference is that at midnight, I’ll turn back into a tabloid-plagued TV actress instead of an enslaved housekeeper.

  “Tonight has been amazing,” I murmur. “The only thing that would make the evening even more perfect would be if I had a birthday present to give you.”

  “Would you stop?” Austin says. “I told you earlier. I don’t want you to buy me anything. All I wanted for my birthday was you and you’re here.”

  Aww . . . my boyfriend is amazing. “Okay,” I say because I don’t know what else to say after that. “So what about you? Are you enjoying being royal?”

  “It’s not too shabby,” Austin says. “But
I think my queen is enjoying it even more than I am. I’ve never seen you this calm before. Burke, do you realize we’re having a tabloid-and Hollywood-free night?”

  I laugh. “Shh! Don’t jinx us,” I joke. “Can’t I just enjoy a completely normal, totally un-star-related high school experience like the rest of my peers?”

  “You’re not like the rest of us, Burke. And it’s more than just your star status,” Austin says seriously. “That’s what I love about you.”

  WAIT A MINUTE. Did Austin just say love as in LOVE LOVE? Or does he mean he loves different things about me?

  I can’t breathe.

  Seriously, I think I’m going to need oxygen or something.

  Any minute, Austin is going to realize I’ve stopped breathing. I can hear a whooshing sound in my ears like I’m going to pass out.

  OH GOD. Am I supposed to say it back? I don’t know.

  I really, really, REALLY like Austin, but do I love him? The seconds are ticking away. If I’m going to say it back, I have to say it right NOW.

  NOW.

  Say it NOW, Kaitlin.

  I don’t say it.

  But Austin said it! Right? He said he loved me!

  I think.

  I don’t know. This is very confusing.

  In my head, the music stops. The room is quiet. My heart is beating out of my chest, but my mouth feels dry and I can’t speak.

  SAT. 10/26

  NOTE TO SELF:

  Ask Liz 2 download dance pics.

  Look up SAT definition of love.

  Order pics A’s mom took predance from Snapfish!

  Mon., Tues., Wed. call times on set: 6 AM

  FA2007 “Playing the Angel” (CONTINUED)

  12 INT. BUCHANAN MANOR — FOYER — AFTERNOON

  DR. BRADEN

  (out of breath) Thank you for agreeing to see me. I didn’t think we should discuss this over the phone.

  PAIGE

  Of course. Is something wrong? Did you find something on one of my tests?

  Dr. Braden hesitates. He fumbles with his leather portfolio, looking for the right papers.

  DENNIS

  Please, Dr. Braden. My wife and my family have been through so much. Don’t leave us in suspense. Whatever it is, we can handle it.

  In the doorway, the viewer can see the outlines of Sam, Sara, and Colby.

  13 INT. BUCHANAN MANOR — DINING ROOM — AFTERNOON

  SAM

  What’s going on in there?

  SARA

  (spying) It’s Dr. Braden. Mom was on the phone with him an hour ago and he rushed over. Something must be wrong.

  COLBY

  Do you think we should be spying on them? Maybe it’s something they don’t want us to know.

  SARA

  How do you think we find out stuff around here, Colby? Watch and learn. Whatever it is concerns all of us.

  SAM

  Mom and Dad have been so stressed over those tests Dr. Braden gave us. I don’t know what they’ll do if he finds out any of us have the same gene that caused Mom’s blood mutation.

  14 INT. BUCHANAN MANOR—FOYER—AFTERNOON

  DR. BRADEN

  According to the results of the blood work conducted on your daughters, not all three girls are a match for Paige’s DNA.

  DENNIS

  Are you saying Colby is not Paige’s daughter?

  DR. BRADEN

  (pauses) The opposite, actually. I think Colby is her daughter.

  PAIGE

  (hugs her husband tightly) I knew it! I could feel it. She’s come back to me, Dennis.

  DR. BRADEN

  There’s more—according to these results, Sam and Sara might not be.

  PAIGE

  What? That’s impossible!

  DR. BRADEN

  According to our tests, the fraternal twins share the same genetic makeup, but neither of them matches your blood type, which leads us to believe that your girls may have been switched at birth with the Moxley twins, who as you may remember went missing in a boating accident.

  DENNIS

  You must have mixed up the bloodwork! Why would someone switch our girls? We had tight security on the hospital at the time because Paige was receiving death threats.

  DR. BRADEN

  Yes, I remember. But that doesn’t mean someone from the inside couldn’t have made the switch. Natalie Bennett, one of the night nurses, feuded with Paige for years before her car went over the Summerville Bridge. Maybe she . . .

  PAIGE

  No. This can’t be! No. NO!

  DR. BRADEN

  I’m so sorry, Paige. But according to this, it looks like the girls you’ve raised as your daughters are not your daughters at all.

  Sara lets out an ear-piercing scream. She’s inconsolable. Dennis runs to her and holds her.

  DENNIS

  Don’t listen to him! We’ll have them retested. We’ll figure this out.

  Sam faints and Colby rushes to help her up.

  SAM

  What’s going on? Was I dreaming?

  Colby brushes her hair and shushes her. There’s a contented smile on her face.

  COLBY

  Actually, princess, I think you’re finally waking up to a whole new world.

  Twelve: Read It and Weep

  “So do you think he meant he loves me or he loves being with me?” I’ve just finished telling Nadine what happened at Homecoming and am waiting to hear what she thinks about Austin’s use of the L-word. I bite my lip anxiously. It’s been almost a week since he said it and I still don’t know what to think. Not that I’m counting.

  Nadine looks reflective. She’s been out sick the past few days herself (I think I gave her whatever bug I had), so her milky white skin is still beyond pale. “So he said, ‘That’s what I love about you?’” I nod hurriedly. She looks perplexed. “Well, it’s not a clear-cut ‘I love you,’ but it certainly sounds like that’s what he meant. You know boys. It’s like pulling teeth to get them to say what you want to hear.”

  I’m not sure if I should jump for joy or cry. “But I didn’t say ‘I love you’ back,” I say regretfully. “Now Austin probably thinks he made a huge mistake saying that he maybe loves me!” I bury my face in the script I’m memorizing.

  “Do you love him?” Nadine asks.

  “I think so, but how do I know for sure?” I ask my script. I’m so freaked out by this entire topic that I can’t even look Nadine in the eye. Love. Do I possibly love Austin? Does he love me? How do you know for sure? Suddenly our six-month relationship seems a lot more complicated.

  I hear a swoosh sound and look up in time to see a set of crisp white pages fly under my dressing room door.

  “I thought you had this week’s script already,” Nadine mumbles as she munches on an Oreo. They’re our favorite go-to cookies in times of stress and deep reflection and this is definitely one of those times. If Alexis stays put or this love thing gets more complicated, Nadine and I are going to have to order Oreos by the caseload.

  “We already started shooting, but maybe there’ve been some changes,” I tell her, scanning the first sheet.

  HOLLYWOOD SECRET NUMBER TWELVE: As detail-obsessed film director Hutch Adams taught me, a script isn’t final until it airs. (And even then, they can tweak things for years to come on director’s cut DVDs.) I’m used to tweaking dialogue on set in the middle of shooting. Melli is famous for correcting the writing staff when they give her lines she doesn’t think Paige would say. But major script changes, like the eight pages I just received, are pretty rare.

  I back myself into my cozy leather club chair and start reading. The scene being rewritten is the one where Dr. Braden gives the Buchanans the results of Colby’s blood test. Oh. That’s nothing. Since next week’s episode was supposed to be Alexis’s last, the original script had a scene where Dr.

  Braden determined Colby was not Paige’s daughter. Now that Alexis is sticking around a little longer, the writers probably rewrote Dr. Braden’s results. Th
ey can milk the Colby character for a few more episodes by ordering new-blood work, having the results get lost or stolen, and keep Alexis around indefinitely. I shudder at the thought.

  But . . . hmm . . . this new scene is really different.

  “Your mom and Laney want you to do a chat with E! Online,” Nadine reads from her BlackBerry. “It’s the Vegas story again, but you haven’t talked to them about your side and Alexis was just interviewed by them and hinted that you and Sky caused the fight. You definitely have to speak up. Sky should too.”

  Sky and I are united in our determination to get rid of Alexis, but so far, the positive press and the interviews we’ve done on the subject have still been separate. We haven’t said this to each other, but I think we both still think we’re better off tackling the Alexis issue — and how it affects our careers — on our own.

  “Fine.” I read faster and faster, glossing over small phrases and lines to reach the outcome. When I get to Dr. Braden saying “the girls you’ve raised as your daughters are not your daughters at all,” the pages slip out of my hands and fall to the floor. “WHAT?” I can’t breathe. “THIS HAS TO BE A JOKE!”