by Elena Aitken
His words sliced through her heart. She didn’t want that. The very thought of being without him gutted her. It was an impossible choice. She wanted to tell him no. She wanted to stop him before he walked away and tell him that she chose him. Always. It would always be him.
“I’ll see you in a few days.”
She couldn’t look at him as he walked away from her and got in the truck. She fell to her knees and as he drove away from her, she could no longer control the sobs that racked her body.
Somehow Kira managed to get through the rest of the afternoon. After Nash left, she didn’t go back to where she’d left Kade and Ella. Instead, she went into the cabin, splashed some water on her face, retied her hair into a tighter braid and went to work for a few hours. She needed to lose herself in the daily concerns of running a campground in a busy national park. Anything to take her mind off Nash. And the fact that her life was once again crumbling around her.
Her distraction technique worked pretty well, too. If anyone wondered why she wanted to take the closing shift at the customer service window, they didn’t ask. Thankfully, everyone stepped aside and let Kira handle the busywork of checking guests into their sites, selling campfire wood, and dealing with a few minor complaints.
“I’m sorry, Mrs. Bruce, we don’t have any river-side campsites available,” she lied to the woman who had specifically requested a riverfront site six months ago when she’d booked the busy campground. “But I do have one of our nicest spots available. It’s a lovely forested spot and you’re very lucky since the reservation just canceled this morning.” Kira couldn’t believe her luck, but she wasn’t about to question it. There was no way she would be giving out the riverfront campsites until they had the whole dead fish thing figured out. And the last she heard, there’d been another bunch of fish found that morning. Sasha had tried to keep it from her, but secrets didn’t last long in the office.
“Do you have any idea how early I had to book in order to get a riverfront spot?” Mrs. Bruce didn’t seem to be as happy with her site change as Kira had hoped. “I had to wake up at five in the morning, six months ago, to get this site reserved and now you’re telling me it’s not available?”
Kira tried her best to look as if she cared about the woman’s problem, but all she really wanted to do was tell her where she could shove her complaints. Maybe she should give her the stinky dead fish site after all? Maybe that would make Mrs. Bruce happy. But she didn’t. Because she needed the job.
Or did she?
She hadn’t had a chance to talk about it with Kade and Ella yet, but she’d just assumed she’d go home to Jackson Valley or the new guest ranch her brothers had set up, Grizzly Ridge. Yes, she really wanted to visit Grizzly Ridge and all her brothers. But stay there?
Without Nash?
The decisions and questions she couldn’t answer crashed through her head again.
“Are you even listening to me?” Mrs. Bruce tapped her hand on the counter to get her attention.
“Yes,” Kira lied. “Of course I am.” She took a breath and tried her best to look composed. “I’ll be honest with you, Mrs. Bruce. We do have one riverfront site available. But there have been mischief reports there lately and the sighting of dead fish. We’re working hard to sort out the problem and in the meantime, I know how important your family vacation is to you and how long you’ve been planning it, so I thought you might like to avoid any unnecessary drama and stay at one of our finest treed spots. But if you insist on the original booking, I will honor it.”
The woman’s face shifted as she very clearly saw what was on offer. Finally. Pretty soon, she smiled and nodded. “The treed spot will be lovely.”
Kira finished processing the check-in, passed on all the pertinent information and closed her window behind Mrs. Bruce. The day was over. And that meant she couldn’t avoid reality much longer. She’d agreed to join Kade and Ella at their campground for some dinner and she had less than an hour before she was going to be late.
She had enough time to change out of her uniform and into jeans and a t-shirt at the cabin, and was just about to slip out the door when Sasha stopped her.
“You’ve been busy today,” her friend said, somewhat accusingly.
She didn’t know why, but Kira felt a flash of guilt. “Sorry, Sasha. I really didn’t expect my brother to show up. We haven’t actually spoken in almost two years. I never would have….well, it’s all been kind of crazy.”
“And Nash?” Sasha tilted her head and gave Kira a wink that could only be interpreted one way. She knew Sasha meant well with her tease, but her friend had no idea that Kira had just let the love of her life walk away without even a word. It was too much. But she couldn’t get into it with Sasha. She wouldn’t understand the intricacies of the situation and as much as she wished she had someone to confide in, she didn’t. Not the way she needed to.
Kira forced a sliver of a smile and hoped it was enough to satisfy Sasha.
“It’s okay if you’re busy, Kira. I get it and you know that’s what we’re here for.”
Something about the way she said we caught her attention. “We?”
“Well…” Her friend blushed and looked down at her feet. “I just meant…well, Conner and me. That’s what we’re here for. To help you out.”
Kira’s lips curled up for real into a smile. “Sasha. Is there something you want to tell me?” She wiggled her eyebrow and when Sasha buried her face in her hands, Kira laughed. “No way,” she said. “You and Conner?”
“No! I mean, yes. I mean…well, not really.” She stumbled over her words. “It’s just that…it’s not…well, it’s not that simple. But…”
“But yes?”
Sasha nodded. “Yes. It’s still new. I mean, really new. But he’s really not that bad at all. I mean, I don’t think we gave him the benefit of the doubt before. You just have to get to know him.”
“Clearly.”
“I’m serious, Kira. I think he’s just misunderstood. He’s not perfect, and he has a few things he’s trying to work out. And trust me, I’m the last person who expected anything to happen. But then we kept pulling shifts together, and spending more time talking and getting to know each other and…”
“And it just happened,” Kira finished for her. “Really, I’m happy for you, Sasha. I don’t understand it. But if you say he’s a good guy then I believe you.”
* * *
She listened to her friend for another few minutes before begging off to get ready for her dinner. Not that Kira minded the distraction, not at all. Talking to Sasha had definitely helped take her mind off Nash, but once she’d changed and was making her way down the path to Kade and Ella’s campsite, the distraction had more than worn off. She tried to focus on all the positives of having Kade come back into her life. Because it was positive. It was freaking amazing. And with Ella and the others she hadn’t even met yet. It was a dream come true.
So was Nash.
The problem was that both of her dreams had someone twisted into one monumental nightmare and more than anything, Kira wanted to wake up.
“Why so sad, mi hermana?”
Kira turned at the pretty Spanish accent and the use of the word sister.
“Oh, Ella. Sorry. I was lost in thought and…I’m not sad.” The lie didn’t sound remotely convincing, even to her own ears, and the look Ella gave her made it clear she didn’t believe her either. Fortunately, she didn’t push the issue.
Not at first.
“Come sit.” Ella gestured her over to the picnic table. “We don’t have much,” she said. “And it must seem muy diferente to be having dinner at one of your own campsites. But I’m glad you came.”
Kira smiled. She was glad too. Despite the circumstances. “Where’s Kade?”
“He was a little wound up.” Her smile dipped a little. “And now that he’s rediscovered his bear, I find it’s best for him to embrace it. It helps. Mucho.”
Kira couldn’t argue with that. Ever since
she’d started shifting again, she found the same thing. In fact, what she really needed, instead of sitting at a picnic table, was to get out into the woods and run off some steam. But she wouldn’t be rude. Besides, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to spend a few minutes talking to someone who might be able to understand. Someone who wasn’t her brother. And she was dying to get to know Ella a bit better.
“Going for a run is always a good idea,” Kira said lamely.
“Si. Especially with the bebe on the way.”
Ella said it so casually, Kira couldn’t be sure she’d heard right, but the smile on the other woman’s face told her everything. “No way!” Kira jumped up from the picnic table and gave Ella a hug. “That’s fantastic. I’m going to be an auntie again. I’m so excited.” And she was, but the fact that her family was expanding just made her sad. Because that just made the choice harder. Or at least, more complicated. Kira returned to her seat at the table with a sigh.
“What’s wrong, mi amiga?”
“I’m sorry, Ella. I don’t mean to spoil your exciting news, but—”
“Your heart is broken. Estas triste.”
Ella’s exacting diagnosis took her off guard. Kira’s first reaction was to deny it, but there was no point. With a sigh, she dropped her head into her hands and rubbed her temples. “If I tell you something, will you promise not to tell Kade?” Not that she was able to keep secrets from him, but maybe just for a little while. Not that she had to worry, because Ella’s smile gave her away.
“Tell me about your mate, mi amiga.”
Kira almost choked on the very air she breathed. “My mate?” There was no way she could know. How would she have any idea… Because she was a female. A female with a mate of her own. It was universal. “Nash.” She spoke his name softly, because the very sound of it hurt her heart.
Ella nodded. “And that is the problemo? No?”
“Yes. He’s a…he’s not a bear.”
Ella’s hand reached across the table and squeezed her hand. “Love knows sin limites. No boundaries. No…”
“Species?” Kira laughed at the sound of it. But her laugh died on her lips because it was true. His species was the entire problem. Or was it hers? Either way, it was a problem. A very big problem. “Maybe you think love knows no species, but you’re mated to my brother. He’s a bear. That’s different.”
“Como?”
“Because…well…it’s just that…” She sighed. “Because you’re both bears. Nash is a wolf.”
Ella squeezed her hand. “But it is love, no?”
Kira nodded.
“He is your mate? Tu companero?”
She nodded again. “Fated.” The word came out as a whisper and Ella’s eyes grew wide.
“Predestinado?”
Kira nodded. It was both scary and exciting to speak the word out loud. It had to be fate. She and Nash were fated. It felt like nothing less. “Yes. I mean, I think.”
Ella let out a squeal and clapped her hands together. “If you think you are, then it is so. It’s a feeling deep in your bones. There is no guessing. It is so.”
“But I don’t know.” Kira dropped her head into her hands again. “I made that mistake once before.” She didn’t want to think about Ryan and Nash in the same thought but she couldn’t help it. She’d thought once before she’d found her fated mate and there was no forgetting how that had turned out. It was the whole reason she was there in Yellowstone.
Where she met Nash.
“No,” Ella said with the certainty Kira wished she felt. “It’s not a mistake. You are fated. You are meant to be. I see it.”
“You see it?”
“Si. Anyone can see it.”
White-hot panic flooded through her and Kira jumped up from the table, unable to sit any longer. “Did Kade see it?”
Ella’s laugh rang out through the campsite. “He’s a man. He sees what he wants to. All he can see at the moment is his hermana.” She walked around the table and squeezed Kira’s arm. “He is so happy you’re here. That he has you back. He’s a changed man.”
Tears sprang to Kira’s eyes and she wiped them away. She was not a crier. In the last few days, she’d shed more tears than in the past few years and that included the hardest time of her life. But this was different. Everything was on the line now. Her life. Her future. Her happiness. Her love.
All of it. She just had to make a choice. But which one?
“Do not cry, mi hermana.” Ella’s soft touch wiped away a tear. “This is happy, no?”
She nodded and then shook her head. “No. It’s not happy because I have to let him go. I have to renounce my mate. Or let him renounce me or however that works. I don’t even know.”
“No!” Ella’s mouth fell open and horror lined her pretty face. “He is your fated mate, you told me so. Renouncing him will be muerte.”
“Death?”
“To your soul.” She clasped her hands to her chest. “To your heart. You must not let that happen.”
She couldn’t hold it in any longer. A sob so full of angst and pain rose up from inside her and burst out, dropping Kira to her knees. “But if I save my heart, I will lose my family and that will break me.”
“No, no.” Ella sat in the dirt next to her and pulled her close. “You will not lose your family if you choose love.”
Kira snorted, and wiped her nose. “You don’t understand my family. I will—”
“I understand your family very well, mi hermana. Very well. They are my family and they have accepted me with open arms.”
She wanted to scream, Kira was so frustrated. Ella couldn’t understand because she was a bear. The same as her mate. Maybe being from a different clan, a different country was troubling. But she was still a bear. Nash was a wolf. “He’s a wolf, Ella. A wolf.”
“Who’s a wolf?”
Kira’s blood froze in her veins.
Kade.
Next to her, Ella turned and looked over Kira’s shoulder. Kira couldn’t bring herself to look.
“Who’s a wolf?” he asked again.
Chapter Twelve
It had been late by the time Nash got to West Yellowstone the night before. He’d spent a restless night in the woods, running until his wolf was exhausted and he fell into a fitful sleep under a stand of trees. The next morning, he was no closer to having any answers when it came to Kira or what the hell he was going to do about his mate. By the time he fetched the part he needed for the showers and was back on the road to the campground, he’d been hoping to have some answers. Or at least some clarity.
He was wrong.
If anything, he was more fired up than ever.
She’d let him walk away.
What did you expect?
He couldn’t answer that question. Because the only thing he had expected was for his mate to not let him walk away.
“Dammit!” He hit his hand on the steering wheel and pressed his foot to the gas at the same time, pushing the accelerator.
Why had he given her a choice? Why the fuck hadn’t he grabbed her, pushed her up against the wall and told her exactly what was going to happen? Because what was going to happen was that he was going to go back to that campground, grab his mate, kiss her until she couldn’t think of anything except the feel of him with her, on her and inside her, and then, only when she needed to come up for air, would he tell her exactly how things were going to be.
And how were they going to be?
“Dammit!” Again, he hit the steering wheel, and at the same time pushed the gas pedal harder.
Who was he fooling? He wasn’t going to tell her anything. No. He wasn’t going to barge back into that campsite and take her away from her family. No. He couldn’t do that. And he wouldn’t do that because when she had the chance, she didn’t stop him.
Don’t forget that.
He wouldn’t forget that. Because that moment was seared in his mind forever. “Dammit, Kira.”
His intersection approached, giving him a ch
oice. If he went left, he’d be on the road to his brother and his pack. His family and everything he’d always known. He knew what Nolan wanted to hear. If he turned right, he’d go back to Riverside, to Kira and what? He told her he’d give her a few days. Besides, he wasn’t ready for her to make the choice that could potentially shatter him. Not yet.
He took the left turn.
Nash had been driving the same roads his whole life, but every time he took the highway that led to his small village, nestled in the back side of Yellowstone, it was as if he were looking at it through new eyes. It changed so quickly. It was if the landscape were alive, always dancing with changes in the foliage and animals. This corner of the park didn’t get as many tourists, which was why it had been a prime location for the reintroduction of the wolves. His pack lived a simple life, running the gas station, shops and small guest cottages there, but mostly they spent their days in the valley, running as wolves, allowing themselves to be spotted, just enough to keep the tourists happy. But not enough to threaten their way of life. The quiet life had always been enough for Nolan. But Nash could never shake the idea that there was more out there for him.
And there was.
There was Kira.
He tried to close his mind to thoughts of her, at least for the time being. Although there was nothing more that he wanted in his life, he couldn’t have it if it wasn’t what Kira wanted too. She needed to be sure of herself and her choices before she could have a life with him. Nash understood the calling of family and the need to be everything for them. That was the thing with shifters: it didn’t matter what species you were. Family was first. Always. That was how he was raised; it was in his blood.
But that was before Kira.
His thoughts of her threatened to consume him, but fortunately for Nash, before that could happen, he turned in to the little village and pulled up in his old parking spot behind the souvenir shop.
He didn’t know what to expect or even what he was hoping to get out of the visit. But he was there, and for better or worse, he needed to see his brother.
