by Elena Aitken
They were deep enough into the tourist season that people were milling about, taking photos, buying up souvenirs and making their plans for the day. Nash ignored all of them and walked into the store. The jingle of the bell over the door announced his presence. The woman behind the desk looked up with a smile on her face to greet her customer but the smile fell from her face when Julia recognized him.
“Nash.”
“Hey, Julia.” He’d always liked his brother’s mate. She was a beautiful, tall blonde with a spirited streak that never failed to make Nash laugh. Especially when it was aimed at Nolan. Of course, what Nash used to think was playful banter between them, he now recognized as barely contained frustration. Nolan and Julia had been mated almost two years, and although it was not a relationship of choice, Nash had kind of assumed they’d grow to care about each other. The fact that the exact opposite seemed to be the case was the final straw for Nash when it came to making his choice to leave. The idea of being stuck in a relationship where he and his mate could barely stand the sight of each other filled him with dread. For the betterment of the pack or not, he just didn’t think he could do it.
“What are you doing here?” Julia came around the counter and pulled him into a strong hug. “Does Nolan know you’re here?” Her face lit up in hope, and Nash knew it was because she assumed he was back to stay.
“He doesn’t.”
“Are you here to—”
A quick shake of his head cut her off. “I just needed to see you guys. I need to get back to Riverside.”
Disappointment lined her face. “I wish you’d come back, Nash.” She squeezed his arms and released him. “Nolan misses you and…things are just getting worse.”
He walked with her back to the counter and leaned against it while she went back to her post by the cash register. “What do you mean, worse?”
“He’s just…he’s so angry all the time and I know it’s the stress, but it just makes things harder with us.” For all the animosity between Julia and her husband, Nash knew there was something between them. It might not quite be love, and it may not be anything like what he had with Kira, but it was something. He could see it in Julia’s eyes. “He needs you, Nash.”
Guilt flooded him. “He needs me to have pups.”
She nodded. “He does. We do. We all do, Nash. If we can’t further our numbers…well, I don’t know what will happen. It’s important.” A tear shone in her eye. “I should’ve been able to…well, it doesn’t matter.” She forced a smile. “I’m just happy to see you. And I know Nolan will be too.”
Nash flashed her a smile. He knew all about Julia’s fertility troubles; she didn’t need him to press the issue and cause her more pain. “Where is my brother?” He still didn’t know what he was going to say to Nolan, but he did know he needed to see his brother. However things would work out, he might as well get it over with.
The sky was gray when Kira woke in her empty bed, which matched her mood perfectly. She was no closer to feeling anything but confused and conflicted over her family and Nash. Two things which should have made her happier than anything else in the world, but all she could feel was pain.
The night before, she’d had the perfect opportunity to tell her brother about Nash. Ella would have supported her; she knew that. But when Kade stood there in front of her, asking what they were talking about, all Kira could think about was how much it would hurt if her brother turned his back and walked away from her again the way he had two years ago.
So she’d lied.
Well, not really. She just hadn’t told him the whole truth.
“My maintenance man is a wolf,” she’d told him.
The words had felt sour on her tongue, but when Kade’s mouth twisted up in a snarl and he’d sneered, “I was sure I’d smelt dog,” Kira knew she’d made the right choice not saying anything about Nash being her mate.
She’d heard Ella sigh behind her, when she changed the subject with her brother. No doubt the other woman was disappointed in her for not approaching the subject, but Ella didn’t understand her situation. How could she possibly know what it would feel like to be in her predicament? Besides, they’d ended up having a great night. After a simple dinner around the campfire, Kade and Ella pulled out their phones and showed Kira photos of everyone back home. Through pictures, she got to see her brothers again. And meet their new mates. And the cub. Oh, the cub.
Just thinking of Axel and Harper’s brand-new baby girl put a smile on Kira’s face. She was an auntie to the most beautiful little baby girl and she absolutely couldn’t wait to get that little sweetie in her arms for a snuggle.
That would be worth it.
Having her family back. It would be worth letting Nash go.
The pain hit her in the gut so hard and fast, it took her breath away completely. Kira curled tight into a ball and hugged her knees to her chest, willing the pain to subside. The pains had started sometime in the night, but only when she let herself think about the choice she had to make. After she’d left Ella and Kade and returned to the cabin, the decision had been clear. Or, at least clear enough. She couldn’t let them go again.
It had been a long night.
Kira breathed through the pains and once they’d subsided enough that she could take in a breath without wanting to cry, she straightened and slid out of bed. She had a lot to do and prepare for if she was going to go back to Grizzly Ridge with Kade and Ella the next morning.
If she was going back.
“Pull yourself together, Kira.” She tugged her hair back into a braid and pulled her shirt over her head. “This is everything you’ve ever wanted. This is a good thing.”
And it was, on so many levels. She’d feel better about it once she started making the arrangements. And that’s exactly what she was going to focus on. Not the pain in her gut that sliced through her with every breath.
A few hours later, and for the most part, Kira had managed to lose herself into the busywork in the office. She’d made the call to the head office to submit for emergency holiday time. They weren’t typically permitted to take holidays during the busy summer season, but much to her surprise, human resources approved her request. She was just going to submit her resignation, because she knew that once she went home to Grizzly Ridge, she’d have a hard time leaving again. But she couldn’t quite bring herself to close that door. Not yet.
The rest of the morning was spent making sure the schedules were made up and reservations were confirmed. Conner and Sasha had volunteered to do the rounds of the campground to be sure that guests had checked out on time and the sites were ready for new visitors. It was usually a job that Sasha tried her best to avoid, but apparently spending time with Conner had changed her opinion on a few things.
Kira shook her head, but couldn’t help but smile. It was still hard to believe that Conner was worthy of Sasha’s affections, but if her friend found good in the man, then Kira had to think there was something there she’d missed. Besides, as long as they were happy together, nothing else should matter.
Nothing else should matter.
Except sometimes things weren’t as simple as all that and longing for it to be different wasn’t going to change anything. “There’s no point getting all worked up, Kira.”
“Worked up about what?”
Kade appeared in the customer service window, his large frame filling it.
“I was just talking to myself.”
“I figured that much.” He laughed at her. “What were you saying?”
“I was just telling myself that there’s no point in worrying about things you can’t change.” She tried to keep the sadness out of her voice, but judging by the look on her brother’s face, she’d failed.
“What can’t you change?”
She shrugged. “It’s no biggie.” She tried for a lighter tone when she added, “I was approved for my vacation time. I can leave with you guys tomorrow.”
“About that. Can I talk to you, Kira?”
> “Is everything okay?” Had he found out about Nash? Had Ella told him she was mated to a wolf? Her stomach knotted hard and if she hadn’t caught herself on the desk, she was afraid her knees would have given out completely.
“It’s all good,” Kade said. “I just don’t want to talk through the window.”
“Of course.” She waved him inside. A few moments later, he stood in the office with her. His large frame made the room feel much smaller than it was. “What’s up?”
“I need you to be honest with me.”
His straightforwardness was so unexpected, Kira didn’t know how to respond. Her mouth opened and closed with no sound.
“Sorry,” Kade said. “I should be more specific. Ella said you had something you needed to tell me and that we shouldn’t leave for Grizzly Ridge until you did. So you tell me, what’s up?”
Panic raced through her. She couldn’t tell him. She couldn’t be honest. It would ruin everything.
Not saying anything will ruin everything.
She shook her head, the internal battle warring.
“Kira. Talk. We’re not going anywhere until you tell me what’s going on.”
She took a deep breath, closed her eyes and before she could talk herself out of it again, the truth spilled out. “Nash is my mate.”
Kira didn’t open her eyes. She kept them shut so she wouldn’t have to see the anger on her brother’s face. Or worse, see him walking away from her again. When he didn’t respond, she kept talking. “But I won’t let it ruin my family. I missed you all so much and more than anything I want to go home and see—”
The pain in her gut took her words away and she doubled over, clutching her stomach. Damn her body for reacting so violently to her emotional distress.
When she’d recovered from the latest attack, Kira opened her eyes and was surprised to see Kade still standing there. He watched her closely. “He’s your mate?”
She nodded.
“He’s a wolf.”
She nodded again.
She’d expected Kade to explode. To rage and yell. Or just walk away. She did not expect and was not prepared for him to be standing in front of her, calmly making statements.
“And you’re going to leave.”
She nodded.
“Without him.”
Kira went to nod again, but finally found her voice. “Yes.”
“I see.”
“You do?”
Kade nodded and ran a hand through his hair. “Of course I do.” He was quiet for a moment and then smiled. “So we’ll leave in the morning then? Ella wants to see Old Faithful, so I’m going to take her out there this afternoon, but we’ll be back later.”
That was it? Just like that? Kira’s mouth opened and closed again, the ability to speak evading her once again.
“Sound good?” Kade asked.
She nodded because she couldn’t bring herself to do anything else.
“Great.” Kade gave her a quick kiss on the cheek and turned to leave. “I’ll see you later.” He took two steps toward the door and stopped. Kira was sure he would turn around and say something about Nash being her mate and what that meant to her family. He was going to yell and get mad. Or maybe Ella was right and he’d be understanding after all? Maybe he’d tell her it was okay and she didn’t have to choose.
Kade turned around. “One more thing,” he said. “I overheard some campers talking about some dead fish down by the river. I thought you might want to know.”
Kira resisted the urge to scream but she couldn’t be sure what she wanted to scream about: the fact that her brother reacted so strangely or at the news he’d just delivered. Either way, she waited until Kade left, stuck the sign in the window and headed out for the river. Even if it was the last thing she did as campground manager, it would be something. And it would definitely take her mind off the mess she’d made of her life.
“Brother.”
“Nolan.” Nash nodded curtly. “Julia told me I could find you here.” He’d driven up a back road to the shop that was kept back from the guest buildings, where they did basic tool repairs, chopped wood, and for generations, the men would hang out when they needed a break from the demands of normal life. “You hiding?”
“Wouldn’t you be?”
Nash pulled up a stool next to where Nolan was tinkering with an engine of some sort. “You’re certainly not selling me on the idea of this life.”
Nolan scoffed. “Like you needed me to try to convince you either way. I’m not so confident to think I have any sway with you at this point.”
“What’s so bad that you have to hide up here, Nolan? You have a gorgeous wife and you live in the most beautiful place on earth. What’s so—”
Nolan threw the screwdriver down on the bench, where it landed with a clatter. “You don’t know a goddamned thing.” He spun around and confronted Nash with a growl. “You think you can run off and sow your wild oats or whatever the fuck it is you wanted to do, while I’m here trying to keep all of this together. And I can’t keep it together, Nash. Did you know that? It’s all going to go to hell, because there are no pups. Not a fucking one.”
“I knew you guys were having trouble,” Nash began. “But surely others are—”
“Not one, Nash.” Nolan was only barely controlling his temper. “The last pup born to our pack is ten years old.”
“No. That can’t be.”
“It is. And do you know what that means?”
Of course he knew what it meant. If there were no pups, the pack wouldn’t thrive and the reintroduction experiment would fail. To the general population, that meant there would be no pups for tourists to photograph and fawn over. For the Norths, it meant tourism would slow in their corner of the park and not only would their bloodline die out, but their contract to live and work in Yellowstone Park, on their ancestors’ land, would be gone.
“But you’ve ensured that everyone choses suitable mates for—”
“It’s not working.” Nolan shook his head. “It’s not just Julia and me. It’s everyone. Every single mate I’ve arranged is the same. No pups. Nothing. We’ve even gone to see a specialist but it’s the same story with everyone. There’s nothing wrong. They can’t find any reason for not conceiving. That’s why you need to stop this craziness, Nash.”
Of course the conversation would circle around to Nash and his betrayal of the pack. Not that he’d expected anything less when he’d made the choice to return home for the visit.
“More than ever, Nash, I need you to come home and take an appropriate mate. The pack needs you. You’re our last hope at this point.”
He shook his head. “That’s crazy. I’m already mated. I can’t just—”
“To a bear!” His brother growled as he stood. Nolan was a formidable alpha. Especially when he was angry.
But Nash wouldn’t be intimidated. He rose and stood nose-to-nose with his brother.
“You’re mated to a fucking bear, Nash. That’s not even…”
“Don’t say it.”
Nolan narrowed his eyes and spat it out. “It’s not natural.”
“You’re lucky you’re my brother, or I’d teach you a lesson right here, right now.”
“Don’t let that stop you.”
They both fronted, stepping up to each other, their growls mixing in the air, the tension growing thicker by the second. Nolan stepped back. The bravado seeped from him and his shoulders sagged.
“I don’t know what to do, Nash. They all depend on me.”
The switch in his brother was so sudden, Nash stepped back in shock.
“I envy you.” Nolan looked up. “Have I ever told you that?”
Nash shook his head.
“You found love? You found a mate?”
“I did.” He nodded. “Fated. Did you know that’s a thing bears experience?”
Nolan smiled sadly. “Wolves do too. Just not any in this pack.”
“What?” He’d never heard of a fated mate pairing in wo
lves.
“Of course.” Nolan said as if it were common knowledge. “But it hasn’t happened in years, so I like to keep it quiet. It’s easier that way, so no one gets any ideas of what might be out there, or what it should be like.”
“What?” Nash said again. “No.” He ran his hands through his hair, tugging at the ends. “No,” he said again. “You didn’t just say that.” He spun on his heel and faced his brother. “You purposely tell members of our pack that there is no such thing as a fated mate?”
Nash couldn’t believe his brother would do such a thing. How could he knowingly and willingly keep his loved ones from such a thing as a fated mate? Now that he’d experienced it himself firsthand, there was no way he’d go back.
The knowledge hit him like a brick.
There was no way he’d go back.
How could he ever love or pretend to love another—wolf or not—now that he knew what it was like to have a fated mate? There was no other. There was no other option for him. No way he could live any other way.
It wasn’t dramatic.
It was real.
“No,” he said to Nolan. “No.” He shook his head and he said it again. “No, Nolan. No. You can’t do that. You can’t keep this from people. It’s a thing. It’s a very real thing that lifts your heart in a way I can’t even begin to explain to you.”
Nash was aware he sounded ridiculous. Especially to his brother, who’d never felt such a thing and could never be expected to understand what he was feeling. But he didn’t care. He couldn’t.
Passion and determination fueled him, and he stood taller. “Nolan, I feel sorry for you.”
“Pardon?”
Looking at his brother, who was so concerned about reproducing and furthering his pack and failing miserably, an idea flashed through Nash’s mind. “Has it ever occurred to you that part of the problem is that you have a pack full of unhappy people?”
Nolan shook his head and focused on his brother. “What? What the hell do you mean, unhappy people?”
Suddenly, it was all so clear. “Your entire pack, Nolan. They’re miserable. That’s why there’s no pups.”
