Beautiful Mistakes

by Sam Mariano

"Actuarial studies?" she questioned.

  "I was going to be an insurance man."

  "You're an insurance man?" she asked, not meaning to sound so surprised.

  He smiled. "No, I ended up switching back to computer science with a business minor. Apparently I knew what I wanted in the first place, but I got distracted."

  Julie shook her head, her eyes drifting to her crumpled up sandwich wrapper. "I know all about that."

  "Are you distracted?" he asked, feigning a grave expression.

  She cracked a little smile. "I've spent most of my life being distracted," she stated, popping a fry into her mouth.

  "You don't strike me as someone who's lacking drive or ambition," he remarked, dipping another fry.

  "I'm not," she said on a sigh. "It's not that, it's that I intentionally distract myself. When I do know what I want there's usually some reason I can't have it, so to stop myself from desiring something I know I can't have, I make the decision to distract myself, to move my attention elsewhere. Good intentions, but more often than not my distraction proves to be as bad as the thing I was originally trying to distract myself from."

  Matt smiled. "You're a complicated woman, aren't you?"

  "Not especially," she said, watching Anna steal a fry. Then she cracked a smile. "Well, maybe a little," she conceded, "but only to a mind that can't handle a little complexity."

  One black eyebrow shot up. "Are you insulting my mind?"

  "Not insulting, challenging," she corrected, raising an eyebrow.

  "Of course. Well, in that case, I admire and understand your complexity."

  "Good man," she said with a nod, taking a bite of her sandwich.

  He chuckled. "Do you have a boyfriend who also admires your complexity?"

  The mere mention of her boyfriend caused her smile to droop. "No, my boyfriend… was one of my ill-fated distractions.”

  Matt nodded. "I see."

  On reflection, she couldn't quite believe she said that aloud, so she tried to backpedal a little. "I'm—That must sound so terrible to you.”

  "No," he said, shaking his head, glancing up at her with the tiniest of smiles. "I understand completely."

  Strangely, she believed that.

  "Just… may I give you a word of advice?"

  Julie nodded. "Sure, but if it's good advice, I probably won't heed it," she half-joked.

  "You're young," he told her. "It's okay to have a distraction once in a while, but make sure you don't end up getting stuck with your distraction. When you're ready, discard it and look for something real before it's too late."

  Privately, she thought that sounded like very good advice.

  She was also honest enough to admit she probably wouldn't listen to it.

  Matt finished off his last fry and began gathering their trash on the tray. "Well, I should probably be getting the little one home.”

  Anna was rubbing her eyes with her little fist at that point.

  "Aw, is she tired already?"

  "Already?" he asked with a smile. "It's 35 minutes past her bedtime."

  Julie's eyes widened and she looked at her phone, seemingly not believing him. Sure enough, it read 9:35. "Oh my God, it cannot possibly be 9:35. Didn't we just get here ten minutes ago?"

  He flashed her a playful smile. "Time flies when you're having fun."

  And Jack got off work at ten.

  Inwardly cursing, Julie ate the last bite of her sandwich and grabbed the tray while Matt helped Anna get her sweater on.

  "Did I run you late for something?" he asked, watching as Julie quickly deposited the garbage into the trash receptacle.

  "No, not at all. I just have some assignments that I need to finish, so I should probably get home so I can…"

  "Finish them," he offered.

  "Yes," she said with an emphatic nod as he lifted Anna out of the high chair.

  "Sorry," he said, offering a lopsided grin. "Didn't mean to distract you."

  She returned the smile, feeling a faint flush spread across her cheeks. "It's okay, it was actually a very enjoyable distraction."

  "I agree, it was nice getting to know you a little better. I'm glad you enjoyed yourself, too. Maybe next time we'll get hungry earlier and Potbelly's will be open."

  "I love that place," she told him.

  "They do have good sandwiches," he agreed.

  "Well, thank you for dinner," she said, opening the door and gesturing for him to walk out ahead of her.

  "No problem. Thank you for having dinner with me. It was a nice change."

  I know what you mean, she wanted to say.

  Instead she just smiled and got in the car, hoping she would at least make it home before Jack, though she no longer had any illusions that she might be able to finish her studying before he got there.

  Chapter Three-

  The first couple of weeks at Julie’s new job flew by without incident.

  Julie liked her new job—at least, she liked Anna and Matt. After that initial impression of Emma, being blatantly insulted for absolutely no reason, she couldn’t say she went out of her way to speak to the woman of the house even on the rare occasions Julie did see her.

  Emma had only been spotted twice the first week, and she wasn't as much of a bitch to Julie, although she was still a far cry from pleasant. The second week Julie saw her once, but Emma was on the phone, so she merely glanced at Julie as she was walking out the door.

  As for Matt, he was working a lot and they didn't have any more impromptu dinners together.

  Privately, Julie was glad. Although she liked Matt very much and considered him a smart, entertaining person to spend her time with, she assumed feelings of that nature were probably only good in moderation when directed at her married employer.

  Since their casual dinner she found herself seeing Matt not simply as her employer, but as an actual person. A likeable person with opinions and wants, flaws and quirks. She began to notice silly things, like the way that he always—without fail—tugged on his tie exactly three times in the mirror before being satisfied with its appearance, even though its appearance was the same as when he started tugging. Another thing she noticed was that he had a habit of furrowing his brows and tilting his head to the side when he was on his cell phone. She also realized she had never once seen him without shoes on—she wondered if he had a toe sock fetish or something.

  Then there was his endearing tradition of reading newspapers to his one-year-old daughter, but when she asked him about that he said he had read somewhere that it was good for Anna's development, that it was supposed to make her smarter.

  By the third week, Julie found herself reading Anna passages out of her textbooks, thinking that would probably have the same effect.

  On Thursday after swimming lessons and dinner, Julie and Anna were sitting in the middle of the living room with a checkerboard and a bunch of checkers. Anna was intrigued by the red ones, and she kept picking them up and staring at them, then putting them back down. Julie was trying to show her how to organize the checkers by color, red on one side, black on the other. Before long, Anna was actually getting the hang of it.

  "Yay!" Julie said, clapping enthusiastically for Anna.

  Anna grinned and clapped, still clutching a red checker in her little hand.

  The front door slammed shut, and Julie looked up, prepared to see Emma in a fit about something.

  Instead Matt appeared, offering a quick smile. "Hey, girls. Didn't mean to slam the door. It's windy out there."

  "This is the windy city," Julie remarked with a smile.

  "Yes, I suppose it’s aptly named."

  "You're home awfully early," Julie remarked, standing up. "We didn't expect you for another hour."

  "Yeah, I decided to finish up and bring some work home," he said, dropping his briefcase on the side table and digging through it for a minute until he found his phone. "Listen, could I talk to you for a second?"

  Frowning slightly, Julie approached him. "Is something wron
g?"

  "No, not really, I was just wondering if you’d be able to work a few more hours this week?"

  "Yeah, I could probably do that. How many more?" she asked.

  "Friday and Saturday from 6 am to about 6:30 pm? And on Sunday could you come at 6:30 instead of 9?"

  Her eyes widened a bit. "Oh, wow. And still work my regular hours during the week?"

  "Is that unreasonable?" he asked. "I know that would push you up to around 53 hours that week and I know it's a lot to ask…"

  "Well… no. I mean, if you wanted me to… I could do that," she replied, considering for a moment the $530 pay she would make that week. It seemed like way too much money to make in a single check—certainly more than she’d ever made in a single week before.

  "I would really appreciate it," he told her. "See, Emma is going to New York for the weekend, and I've got this project at work. Those are going to be my hours, so… I basically need you to completely step in. I know you've only been working with her for a month, but Anna really likes you. I wouldn't ask you if I didn't think you'd be comfortable with each other. If it's too much to ask, let me know, I'll try to make other arrangements."

  "No, that's fine, I'm just… anticipating getting up that early," she said with a smile.

  "If you want, you could stay here for the weekend. We do have an extra room. I mean, if you think it would be easier."

  Although she knew some nannies lived in all the time, the proposition still surprised her. "Oh, I’d hate to impose. It'll be okay, I'll just get up early."

  "Okay. Well, if you change your mind, the offer stands. It might be easier."

  Julie smiled. "And it is appreciated. However, I have a research paper to work on, so if that's all for today…?"

  "Oh yeah, you can go home now," he said, offering a smile. "Thank you so much, you’re a rock star."

  She flashed him a grin, then she turned to Anna. "Bye, Anna," Julie said, bending down and giving Anna a kiss on the forehead.

  "Nana," the baby replied, reaching up and catching a fistful of Julie's hair and flashing her a big baby grin.

  "Oh, I see," Julie replied. "You're not going to let me leave, are you?"

  Anna merely smiled, still holding Julie’s hair hostage in her tiny fist.

  Julie smiled innocently and said, "But what if I did… this?" Then she dramatically scooped Anna up, eliciting a giggle out of her and she accidentally let Julie's hair go.

  Julie put Anna back down on the ground and quickly straightened. "Bye, Anna," she said, waving.

  Pulling herself up on her father's leg, Anna replied by waving at Julie, then looking up at her dad and pointing at her as if to tell him she was leaving.

  Flashing one last smile, Julie called a goodbye to Matt as well, then she began her journey home.

  ---

  Julie was a little stressed that following week. She only had about a month of classes left, so she knew it was important to do as well as she could on the remainder of her coursework, especially if she wanted to make the Dean's List.

  Since she wasn’t even getting home until around 8 pm on Monday and Tuesday, it wasn't leaving her much time to study before Jack got home.

  They both had Wednesdays off, so he expected to spend Wednesdays with her, but she needed to take advantage of her day off to study her butt off for her sociology test the next day.

  Needless to say, Jack wasn't pleased when she explained her tight schedule to him.

  "But think of how much money I'm going to make this week," she pointed out optimistically.

  "I'm never going to see you," he complained, refusing to look at the silver lining.

  "It’s only one week. We can go out to dinner on Wednesday," she suggested.

  "Wow, I get a whole hour of your time?" he responded a touch sarcastically.

  "Maybe even an hour and a half," she joked.

  He didn't appear to see the humor in the situation, as he just continued to sulk.

  "Come on. You know I need the money for tuition. I could’ve never made this kind of money where I worked before."

  "No, but at least I got to see my own girlfriend once in a while," he replied, getting up off the couch with an undisguised look of irritation on his face.

  "Where are you going?" she asked.

  "Out," he said. "I'm sure you need to study anyway, so go ahead, study away."

  She was sure she meant to argue, but she found herself just sitting there watching him as he slammed the door behind him.

  She briefly toyed with the idea of following him, bringing him back…

  Then she looked over at her enormous textbook, begging for her attention.

  The textbook won. She figured Jack would go out and pout, but he would get over it. In the meantime, she had some studying to do.

  ---

  At three in the morning Jack fell into bed beside her, reeking of alcohol and Victoria’s Secret perfume. He reached over and pulled her closer, muttering, "I'm sorry, baby," in an almost unintelligible voice.

  Julie felt disgusted, but she let him wrap his arms around her and slur a little more. He tried to nudge her knees, which were firmly closed, then he tried to take her hand and push it down to the front of the jeans he was still wearing. She yanked her hand out of his grasp with her eyes still closed, refusing to budge. Within two minutes, he gave up and fell asleep.

  Julie heard his cell phone vibrate on the end table by the bed, so she carefully reached across him, careful not to wake him, and picked it up.

  It said he had one new text message.

  She knew logically that she shouldn’t invade his privacy by getting into his phone without his knowledge, but she’d also known Jack long enough to know how he was. Caution winning out over her conscience, she opened up his inbox to read the message. It was from Arianna: "Really? Are u just saying that?"

  Julie narrowed her eyes and went back into his sent messages, but he must have been wise enough to delete whatever he sent her, because the only texts in there were to his brother, his sister, Jacob and Julie.

  She seriously considered just deleting the message, but instead she dropped his phone into the floor and rolled back over, attempting to go back to sleep.

  Attempting not to wonder what he might have said to get that response.

  ---

  It was Monday before she knew it, and Julie was sitting in her humanities class when her cell phone started to vibrate, the words "Emma Cell" flashing across the caller ID.

  Normally she wouldn’t answer, but if Emma was calling, it might be urgent. Hoping the professor didn't notice, she answered in a whisper. "Hello?"

  "This is Emma," she said, wasting no time. "I was just calling to inform you that I’ll need you little early today."

  "I'm in class, I can't…"

  "Of course you can. I have an appointment at 2:15; I will need to leave by 1:45."

  "I'll try to get there as soon as I can," Julie whispered.

  The professor looked up, so Julie quickly put the phone down, pretending to be jotting down notes. When the professor looked away, she picked the phone back up in time to hear, "Do you understand, Judy?"

  She didn't bother to correct her. "I'll try to get there early. I have to go."

  Without saying goodbye, Emma hung up.

  Julie tried to sit through the rest of her class, but she was paying more attention to the clock than her professor.

  After cutting out of class a few minutes early, Julie arrived at the Turner apartment at 1:50. Emma didn't even thank her. Julie was met at the door, and literally as Julie walked in, Emma walked out, leaving Anna sitting in the middle of the floor, chewing on a Mega Blok.

  Once she was gone Julie sighed, letting her messenger bag fall to the floor. "I'm sure she really is a lovely woman… when she's asleep," she muttered to herself, although she seriously questioned the truth of that statement.

  Her shift ended when Matt came home. Anna toddled over to greet him with a hug, grabbing onto his tie until he pi
cked her up. Julie, on the other hand, sighed unhappily, because Jack had just sent her a cocky text telling her he was coming home early, so she should try to finish her studying by then.

  "You're home already?" Julie asked, half smiling as she stood up and sat the book she had been reading to Anna down on the coffee table.

  "Don't sound so happy to see me," he joked.

  She forced a smile. "Oh, I was just enjoying not being home."

  "Trouble in paradise?" he asked, putting Anna back down.

  "Where is this paradise you speak of?" she asked in the guise of a light-hearted joke.

  Matt chuckled. "Well, we would never dream of chasing you off," he told her. "Anna and I don't mind the company at all. If you want to stay, be our guest."

  "I should study," she reasoned.

  Seemingly unconcerned, he said, "So study, we'll be quiet, won't we, Anna?"

  Anna shook her head no, smiling her endearing little smile.

  He chuckled. "She means yes. Go ahead," he said. "If you want to you can even use my office," he offered. "It's nice and quiet in there."

  "Are you sure?" she asked hesitantly. She didn’t want to impose, but it would be nice to get some homework done in peace, and there was no room at her apartment for an actual desk.

  "Absolutely."

  Julie decided to take advantage of his offer, just that once.

  About 45 minutes passed and she was happily finishing her second page since entering the study, which was much more than she usually got accomplished at the apartment. Matt finally opened the door and peeked in.

  "Hey, making any progress?"

  She smiled. "Tons. I'm half done with my first draft of my research paper. I'm so excited."

  "Need a break?" he asked. "I made dinner. Do you like homemade ravioli served with garlic bread?"

  "Only with my oxygen," she replied, standing up. "You have to stop feeding me," she said, pushing her chair in. "I'm going to get fat from working here."

  "Hey, when I get the chance to enjoy a real meal with someone, I like to take advantage," he replied.

  "You made homemade ravioli?" she asked, impressed.

  "I'm pretty good with pasta.”

  "That's good. I like a man who can cook," she said lightly.