Beautiful Mistakes

by Sam Mariano

  Julie could only sit straddled atop him, still panting slightly, aching with her need for release.

  Matt tried to make it quick, only muttering brief answers into the phone, and hanging up within a minute. "She'll be home soon," he stated when he hung up.

  "Too soon for us to finish this?" she asked.

  "No, not that soon," he said, bending in to kiss her and resume his thrusts. It took a few minutes for them to build back to where they had been, but before long Julie was reaching the peak again when her cell phone started to ring.

  "Oh, for the love of—” she gasped, reaching for her phone, seeing Jack's name, and tossing it in the floor. "Don't stop, Matt."

  "I wasn't going to," he said, thrusting into her even harder, tangling his hand in her hair and pulling.

  She moaned, arching toward him, and with one hard thrust he sent her careening over the edge, finally crying out with her own release, collapsing against him in the chair as he thrust a couple more times and then she felt him come inside of her.

  Julie frowned at the unfamiliar feeling and instantly searched her brain for the moment when he put the condom on, like the other times. She realized, as she floated back down, that they hadn't been intending on this round, but it just sort of happened. One minute she was cleaning up some toys that Anna had trailed into the study (in a mini-skirt, which, on reflection, she should have known would be an issue) and the next thing she knew she was straddling Matt in his chair and they were going at it like bunnies again.

  He hadn't put on a condom.

  Had he realized it yet? What part of her cycle was she on? How big of an "oh shit" moment was she about to have?

  He must not have been thinking about that though, because when he opened his mouth the words that came out were, "Are you going back to Jack?"

  Trying to clear her head from the sex and the lack of condom, she first responded with a slightly befuddled, "What?"

  "Now that she's coming home… we haven't exactly discussed what was going to happen when the weekend ended."

  Oh shit. Her moment was about to expand. He was about to discard her, ship her back to Jack now that the weekend was over.

  And she had just had unprotected sex with him.

  Pretty big "oh shit" moment.

  Julie brought herself out of her daze, pulling her skirt back down, her panties back on. "I don't know," she said a bit dazedly, getting off his lap.

  It was true, they hadn't discussed a thing. The whole weekend had been a weekend off. They joked, flirted, kissed, had sex, played with Anna, watched TV, and had some more sex. They did nothing that might resolve anything all weekend long. They just played.

  The game appeared to be over.

  "Are you getting mad at me?" he asked, looking a little disbelieving.

  She glanced up, slightly surprised, because she hadn't thought she was wearing her feelings out on her face. "No," she said simply.

  "Then why are you moving away from me?"

  "You just said it yourself, Matt. Emma's coming home, playtime's over. I get it," she stated, picking up the little container for toys she had originally entered the room for.

  He was across the room before she got out the door, grabbing her by the arm and lightly pulling her back inside. "That's not what I meant, Julie."

  "I don't know, Matt. I didn't really want to go back to Jack, because I don't…" She didn't complete the thought, instead just shaking her head. "But I don't really have a choice, do I? I have nowhere else to go. I only know Jack in Chicago. I have nowhere else to stay. Yeah, I've been here all weekend, so I'm sure I'll have to grovel even to get back into his bed, but I no longer have another bed to sleep in, now do I?" she responded. "It's fine," she stated. "Occupational hazard, I guess."

  "Quit being stupid," he said without force, pulling her closer to him. "I don't really want you to grovel your way back into Jack's bed."

  Despite itself, her heart leapt a little. "No?" she asked guardedly.

  "No. I didn't mean that this was over, I just meant… we're not going to be able to brazenly go at it on the couch and have you just sleep there in a pretty disarray. I wasn't sure what you had planned, so I didn't want to step on your toes by making the plans for you."

  "You have plans for me?" she asked.

  He nodded. "I have to run it through once with her just to make sure, but I was thinking… we could change our arrangement, you could be a live-in nanny since you broke up with your boyfriend and have nowhere else to really go."

  "A…live-in?" she asked, not sure if he was completely sane.

  “Plenty of people have live-in nannies, and honestly, with Emma’s schedule, it would probably make more sense for us.”

  She still couldn’t believe what she was hearing. "You want us… to live together…under the same roof? Your mistress and your wife with only a few feet between their bedrooms?"

  "I am an adventurous man, aren't I?"

  "You're something," she said, completely thrown by that suggestion.

  "Is that a 'hell no'?"

  Slowly, Julie had to shake her head. "No. I really… don't have any better offers," she said, trying not to think of the strange situation, wanting to ask what exactly he was planning on doing with her, but not wanting to rush things either.

  "Okay. Well, we'll see what we can do."

  She nodded uneasily. "Yeah… we'll see."

  Chapter Six-

  Julie went back to Jack's apartment the same day, and when she got there she was a little relieved that he wasn't home yet. His friend Jacob was, and he greeted her with a big grin and said, "You are one hell of a woman. Jack's never even done that."

  "Done what?" she asked without much energy.

  "A whole weekend with someone else without even a phone call, then the walk of shame back home," he specified. "He's left you for a night here and there, but never what you did, girl. No wonder he's in love with you."

  Julie opted to ignore the senseless roommate, walking back into her bedroom—Jack's bedroom.

  She and Matt had discussed what she was going to do that night. She didn't know exactly how he was going to explain it to Emma, but he seemed pretty determined to get Julie in the guest room. However, she didn't think it would be right to move in as soon as Emma got back—plus, she was a little afraid that it being their first night together after Emma's trip, they might do something she wouldn't want to know about.

  Julie had felt too strange to strike up a discussion about the rules and regulations of being a mistress—are you technically available? Can you both technically continue to sleep with each other and other people, too? Was it a given that he would keep sleeping with his wife? Was it wrong of Julie to dislike that thought?

  Overall, she wasn't sure she was cut out to be a mistress, but there was something about Matt that she couldn't quite describe or put her finger on, she just had this intense draw to him.

  Besides, she had slept with Jack without giving half a damn about him, so sleeping with someone she actually did like didn't seem much worse, even if he was married.

  She wasn't sure Matt shared this possessiveness at all, however, as he had been the one to suggest that she stay at Jack's that night, and they could work out the details the following day. Julie figured she could probably fend Jack off for the night, if for no other reason because he would be pissed off that she had abandoned him for the whole weekend, and he would undoubtedly suspect her of doing exactly what she had been doing.

  With that knowledge, however, she didn't want to get too much on Jack's bad side, because she had a secret fear that he would become vindictive and tell Emma. She certainly didn’t like Emma, but she didn’t want her to know she had slept with her husband, either.

  Trying not to think about it, she dedicated herself to completing some homework assignments, and she got so caught up in what she was doing that she was still sitting in the middle of the bed with her long brown hair tied back in a loose pony tail, laboring over her laptop to write a paper f
or humanities when Jack came walking in the bedroom.

  She looked up, surprised, and he just stared back at her for a moment, his eyes roaming over her as if to assess the differences the weekend had made.

  Finally he broke the silence, saying, “Welcome back."

  Julie just looked at him, her words frozen on her tongue. Although she wasn’t sure it was warranted considering Jack’s unfaithfulness, she had an icky, uncomfortable feeling creeping up her spine. She was sure when he wasn't there in the room with her that she had planned out something to say, and she had even gone over it in her mind, figuring she would have no problem saying it to him—after all, she didn't care about him.

  But Jack's presence seemed to change things. He stood there in the near darkness, his hazel eyes brighter than usual, his hands shoved in his pockets, and he looked strangely vulnerable as he looked at Julie as if seeing her for the first time.

  She swallowed something that felt like guilt, and the bitter taste of it caused her to remind herself that he had undoubtedly cheated on her before.

  With that thought, she lifted her chin a bit and pulled back her shoulders, emotionally hardening herself. "Thanks," she responded unapologetically.

  "Where were you?" he asked unnecessarily.

  "Out," she retorted, using a favorite response of his.

  He nodded, his eyes averted. "I guessed as much." Then he moved closer to the bed and sat down on the edge. "I missed you."

  Unwilling to lie to him, she turned her gaze away, focusing back on her computer screen as she replied, "Aw, didn't Morgan and Arianna keep you company?"

  "Yes," he said unflinchingly.

  That shouldn't have bothered her, but something about him brazenly admitting it wounded her pride. "Good," she said a touch spitefully. "I wasn't lonely, so I wouldn't expect you to be."

  "I hated it," he stated passionately. "I couldn't sleep alone in this bed every night knowing that you were out there somewhere with someone else."

  Unable to help herself she scoffed at him, giving him a dirty look. "What do you want, a fucking apology? Welcome to my world, Jack. It's what you do to me, it's what you've done to every fool before me. I'm not sorry. You deserved to know what it felt like, but you don't, not even now, because all those nights you left me here alone and you were with someone else, I did sleep in this bed alone."

  He grabbed her by the shoulders, causing her to gasp in surprise and he said, "You don't understand, Julie. I know that I've… screwed up before, but not you. Never you. You aren't… you're mine," he said, pulling her close to him, leaning in to kiss her.

  She turned her head away and tensed her body up, stiffening her shoulders right beneath his fingertips.

  "I belong to nobody," she stated a bit coldly.

  "I never understood, Julie. This has never happened to me before. One of my girlfriends did cheat on me once, left me for someone else, but… I've never felt like this. You don't understand. I love you."

  "Don't do that," she said, for once not able to hear him say those words. "You're making this much more dramatic than it needs to be."

  "I'm not trying to, I just… You aren't like me. I realized while you were gone that… I could lose you this time. Even when I go out and do things I'm not supposed to, I always come back to you; you are my anchor, you are what keeps me grounded. None of the other girls matter to me, only you. But you don't do that, so if you're out there in someone else's bed, there's a good chance you're not coming back," he said, pulling her even tighter to him, as if by sheer force he could keep her there. "I don't want you to leave me. I need you."

  "Stop it," she snapped, physically trying to move away from him, hating how sincere he sounded. "Just stop it, Jack."

  "Just let me fucking kiss you," he said, forcing her back on the pillow and coming down on top of her, trapping her beneath him as he kissed her.

  Julie didn't kiss him back, she just endured it for about two seconds before trying to push him off. Jack wouldn't let her go though, holding onto her wrists and raising them above her head, pinning them and holding them there with one hand.

  "You're so damn beautiful,"' he whispered, running his other hand down the curve of her breast. "Why'd you have to do this? All I can picture is someone else's hands all over your body. Tell me you didn't enjoy it."

  "You want me to lie?" she retorted, knowing it was cruel.

  He emitted a sound that was something like a growl and he clenched his fist under the button of her burgundy button-down shirt, then he jerked it open, popping off one of the buttons.

  Julie gasped, and despite herself she actually felt a brief thump of excitement at the roughness, which she quickly tried to dampen, reminding herself that in all the time she had been sleeping with this man as her boyfriend, she rarely felt anything like pleasure. He was selfish and there was no emotional fulfillment, so Julie rarely experienced any other kind of fulfillment in bed with him either.

  "I want to fuck you until you can't remember being with him," he stated, unbuttoning the top button of her jeans.

  Her heart slammed in her chest, and she felt something like panic mingled with that twisted excitement. "Jack, no," she said, thinking of Matt.

  "Oh yes," he said. "You're mine, Julie. I'm going to make you mine again."

  "No," she said, struggling to get her hands free of his grip even as he jerked her jeans down, peeling them off her legs.

  He moved his hand between her legs and she saw him smile when he felt how wet she was already. "That's not what I'm hearing, Julie."

  She blushed, hating that she chose that moment of all moments to be aroused.

  "I think you want me to fuck you," he said, pushing his finger up under her underwear and penetrating her, eliciting a gasp from her. "I think you want me to punish you for being so bad."

  "Stop it," she said, trying to keep her hips still as he thrust his finger up inside her, and her body began to writhe, her breath coming out in pants. She had to stifle the moans. "Jack, stop it. I mean it! Let me go," she said, again struggling to get her hands free. "I don't want you," she finally said harshly, her feeling of guilt, of cheating on Matt working to overpower whatever else she might be feeling.

  Jack stuck another finger inside her and thrust harder, deeper. "That's not what your body's saying," he told her, kissing her neck. "Your body seems to want me."

  "I'm thinking of him," she spat.

  For that comment, he lightly nipped her ear, then he found a spot on her neck and bit and sucked harder, causing her to hiss with mingled pleasure and pain. He continued to roughly move his fingers inside her body and hold her arms above her head, rendering her helpless.

  "Please stop," she panted after a minute, feeling the ache building, refusing to let him give her an orgasm. "Please, Jack."

  He withdrew his finger, and while her body cried out in protest, she felt an immense sense of relief, letting out a breath between pants. Then he let her arms go, and she lay limp with relief, even as he ran his fingers lightly down her arm. She wasn't aware of what he was doing until she realized her arms were pinned at her sides, and Jack was moving down her body, his head moving between her legs.

  "Jack!" she began to protest, realizing what he was about to do, but his warm mouth was already at her entrance, and before she could say anything else his tongue moved up inside of her and she gasped, throwing her head back into the pillow. She tried to free her arms to push him away, but Jack stayed between her legs, licking and caressing her most tender area with his mouth, worshipping her body. She tried to fight it. As his tongue would hit the magic spot she would try not to moan, her body writhing of its own volition at the forced pleasure, but he just lapped at her desperately, like a man at a feast.

  She felt near tears, trying to fight her release, trying to ask him to stop so she didn't feel like she was betraying Matt, but when Jack withdrew his tongue and licked her once deeply, then plunged his tongue back into her again, she cried out, her body convulsing as he gripped her t
highs harder, his mouth not moving until she finished.

  He finally stopped and Julie could only lie there silently as her brain started to function normally again, and her conscience –eccentric though it was—began to weigh on her.

  "I hate that you just did that," she finally said.

  "Didn't seem like it," he responded.

  She hated that arrogant response, too. "I don't love you," she stated plainly. "I never have. And I'm leaving you tomorrow."

  All he could do was stare at her as she closed her laptop and sat it on the floor by the bed, then she rolled over and closed her eyes, by all appearances going to sleep.

  ---

  Jack was gone already when she woke up, because he had to open at work. She took advantage of his absence to call Matt on his lunch break and ask him what was going on, hoping he had resolved the plan with Emma.

  "Did you get a chance to bring it up?" she asked a bit awkwardly, still reluctantly thinking about their reunion after a weekend apart.

  "Yeah," he answered easily. "I told her the situation, that you broke up with Jack and now you don't have a place to live, so I suggested that you come stay in the guest room. It would be more convenient anyway, to my thinking."

  "And…?"

  "I don't think she liked the idea very much," he said.

  Julie sighed, a lump of dread forming in her stomach. "Great."

  "Doesn't matter though," he told her. "I convinced her that it’s in her own best interest, although it still took some bartering. Would you be at all open to a pay decrease?"

  She would be satisfied to keep getting paid at all, but she didn't say that. "How much?"

  "She wants to only pay you a flat rate of $200 a week, because she claims we have to pay for your room and board now, so it's only fair."

  It was quite a pay cut, but she didn’t have much of a choice. "I suppose I'll have to take it," she said. "I already told Jack I was leaving him, so… when can I move in?"

  "When do you want to move in?" he asked.

  "As soon as humanly possible; I don’t want to be here another minute," she stated.