Beautiful Mistakes

by Sam Mariano

  Matt glanced up at Doug, and mysteriously Doug's cell phone must have "vibrated," and he had to take it in the next room.

  Julie was fuming.

  Matt didn't seem to understand why. "I told you I would find you a better job. As of right now, I haven't found you anything permanent, but I did find you a temporary position as a receptionist—I know someone whose receptionist is going on maternity leave, so you could work there in the meantime. You don't have to worry about the price, Julie, I already told you I will supplement whatever you can't afford to—”

  "No," she stated through her teeth. "I don't understand why you did this without even asking me, or why you thought that I would go along with it when I tried to return earrings, but I'm not doing this, Matt. I'm just not. I don't even know why all of a sudden you decided to do this."

  His jaw clenched as he looked at the wall behind her, then he met her gaze and said, "I can't stand you living with my brother anymore."

  Since that was not what she expected to hear, her eyebrows shot up. "Excuse me?"

  He raked his hand through his hair again and looked at her, his expression a little more troubled. "I can't… I don't care if I have to pay entirely for your apartment, Julie. I don't give a damn if you are unemployed and I have to support you myself, if that's the only way to get you out of my brother's bed, I will damn well do it. Happy? You're driving me fucking nuts, I can't tolerate it anymore. Every damn text message that you ignore, I wonder if it's because you're with him. Every phone call you don't answer…"

  All she could really do was stare. "Are you serious?"

  "Yes. It wouldn't be a very good joke, now would it?" he asked, looking irritated.

  "Do you realize what a hypocrite you are?" she asked, her eyes narrowing. "I mean, I want to make sure you're at least aware of it."

  "Yes, I'm aware of it," he said, meeting her gaze. "And I'm sorry. I'm sorry for fucking everything up, and I'm sorry for kicking you out, and I'm sorry for backing down to Emma when she told me one of us had to leave. I'm definitely sorry that I ever called my damned brother to give you even temporary housing… And I know that I have no right to feel this way, but I do. That's where I stand at the moment."

  Nodding, she said, "That sounded pretty good, Matt. Now translate it for me; what did it really mean?"

  "I don't know," he muttered, once again looking away.

  Sighing, Julie shook her head. "Wrong answer," she stated.

  "What's the right answer?" he asked, looking into her eyes with a strange look on his face.

  A half smile tugged sardonically at the corner of her mouth. "I shouldn't have to tell you," she stated.

  With that last statement, she exited the room and quickly made her way out of the condo, down the steps and back up the sidewalk toward her car. As she replayed the things Matt had just said to her in her mind, she pulled her keys out of her purse and tried to consider what he had been saying.

  She had gathered that he was jealous. Desperate to get her out of his brother's house and bed.

  But it didn't matter.

  For one thing, while she would have relished hearing that when she first found out she was pregnant, she was beginning to suspect that her feelings had shifted, because when he was saying all of that she just got a vaguely uncomfortable feeling and she wanted to run away to keep from hearing it.

  She also never looked back to see if he followed her outside.

  Julie simply got in her car, started it up, and pulled out.

  It had been a mistake going to meet Matt.

  When asked what all his pretty words meant, he could still come up with nothing.

  So that must be what they meant: nothing.

  Originally she had been heading back to the apartment, but she switched directions just slightly, and she decided to head to the store.

  She needed to find a pretty dress to wear to the wedding with Aaron. Since she might very well lose one of her jobs over the trip, she may as well have fun. Plus, she was looking forward to spending a whole weekend in Aaron's company when he couldn't mysteriously sneak away from the apartment or have to go to the café to work. They would actually get to just hang out…

  With his whole family, including Matt and Emma.

  And of course his bombshell ex-girlfriend…

  Maybe fun was a generous word, but she knew one thing for certain, and even though it was petty, it made her feel a little vindicated.

  Matt was going to be miserable that weekend.

  Chapter Twenty-

  In preparation for the weekend trip, Julie packed a "vacation pack" for them while they were on the road. It had a variety of snacks in it, as well as some gum, Chapstick, plastic silverware, napkins, tissues, a flashlight with back-up batteries, and a blanket.

  "Julie, are you ready to leave yet?" Aaron asked for what she was sure had to be the 18th time.

  "Almost," she stated, folding up her blanket.

  "Why do we need all of this stuff?" he asked, eyeing up her vacation pack suspiciously.

  "In case we get hungry, get chapped lips, get a runny nose, drip mayonnaise down somebody's chin… and just in case we break down."

  "It's a four hour trip," he stated, taking the blanket and the vacation pack anyway.

  "Better safe than sorry," she stated. "Did you get my dress bag yet?" she asked.

  Nodding, he said, "I already have it in the car."

  "And your suit?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

  "Yes, Mom," he drawled.

  Grinning cheekily, she said, "I'm just practicing. Now come here and let me fix your hair," she said, jokingly licking her thumb and pretending to reach for his head.

  "Okay, no more caffeine for you," he told her. Then, coming up short, he said, "Did you ever get her a present?"

  "Yep," Julie said with a nod. "We bought her a Panini maker from Kohl's."

  "Works for me," he stated with a nod.

  "It was on sale, too. We got a deal," she informed him.

  "Good for us," he said.

  Although she didn't say so, she also didn't buy a card to go with it. Aaron didn't seem to mind that his own sister had invited the evil ex who wronged him to be in the bridal party, but Julie wasn't so forgiving. Cousin or no cousin, Aaron was her brother.

  Julie finally let Aaron drag her out of the apartment at a little after eleven, and they were on the way down to his car when he said, "By the way, I should warn you, I don't listen to typical music."

  Scrunching up her nose, she said, "How atypical are we talking here?"

  "I like old music," he stated. "I hate new music; I think it all sucks."

  "Old music?"

  Nodding, he said, "Yes, and I'm not talking old school Nirvana old, I mean really old."

  "How old?" she asked, eyebrows rising.

  "You'll see," he said with a slight smile.

  Eyeing him curiously, she climbed into the passenger seat and waited eagerly for him to get in and start the car, because she couldn't stand unsolved mysteries.

  Aaron finished putting the stuff in the back, then he slid into the passenger seat and put the key in the ignition, starting the car.

  The music came on instantly, and it took her a second to identify the song, but as the voice singing "I've Got You Under my Skin" finally began to sound familiar, her jaw dropped open and she said, "Is that… Frank Sinatra?"

  Smirking, he nodded his head. "It sure is."

  "Why?" she asked, confused.

  "Because I like it," he told her. "I've got Dean Martin and Paul Anka, too."

  "Get out!" she said, breaking into a grin. "Are you serious?"

  "It's not an elaborate prank," he assured her. "I told you I liked old music."

  "You weren't even born when this music came out," she stated.

  "Call it a quirk," he said, shrugging.

  Julie had never met anyone who wasn't eligible for a senior citizen's discount who liked that music, but as Aaron pulled out and began humming along to the music, sh
e found it incredibly endearing.

  "Who's your favorite?" she asked.

  "Sinatra," he answered easily.

  Grinning, she shook her head. "I cannot believe it. I would have never pegged you as a Sinatra guy."

  "Don't judge a book by its cover," he told her, shooting her a sideways glance.

  As Julie shut up and listened to the song—she had never actually heard the song before, she just knew that voice from "The Way You Look Tonight"—she was really surprised by it. Just listening to it made her feel like they should be dressed up, and he should be twirling her on a dance floor as she wore her high heels, her classic pearls, and red lipstick.

  But as the songs kept playing, she was overwhelmingly surprised by the fact that just about every song had the recurring theme of love. Since Aaron was about as far from the type of guy she would have imagined would listen to Sinatra singing about how some woman made him forget about the grey skies… well, it was safe to say she was surprised.

  By the time the first CD was finished, Julie considered herself converted—but a little lonely. With Sinatra singing about how great it is when someone loves you and needs you, it led her back to the knowledge that she didn't have that. She couldn't help wondering why Aaron— who didn't even date—would torment himself with love songs all the time.

  She found herself wondering just what Aaron might have been like before he was hurt.

  The kind of man who listened to Frank Sinatra when he was alone in his car.

  She wondered for the first time if Aaron might have been romantic at one time.

  "So, I think that we need to take road trips more often," Julie stated as she unwrapped her taco.

  Glancing at her out of the corner of his eye, Aaron took his quesadilla out of its package. "Why's that?"

  "Because it's fun," she stated. "And I'm pretty sure that I love Frank Sinatra now that I've spent the last two and half hours listening to him."

  "Hey, I tried to put in Anka, you took it back out."

  "I didn't care for him," she stated. "But I've decided that if I have a boy poppy seed I'm naming him Frankie."

  Smiling, he said, "Middle name Sinatra?"

  "I don't know, I'll have to give Dean a chance when I get done with Sinatra."

  "Frankie Dean?" he questioned.

  "Assuming Dean lives up to Frankie's high expectations," she said with a decisive nod.

  "You might change your mind," he suggested before taking a bite.

  "Nope," she said, pulling the baby name book out of her purse and grabbing a highlighter out of the side pocket, flipping through it until she got to the page she was looking for, then highlighting the passage she wanted.

  "And if it's a girl?" he asked.

  "I'm not sure yet," she said, flipping over some more pages. "I kind of like Ali, so I was considering maybe Allison," she said, pointing out the name in the book.

  He took the book from her and read the page for a couple minutes, his eyes moving down the page. After a moment, he said, "What do you think of Alyssa? It means logic."

  "Alyssa," she repeated, liking the way it sounded. "I actually like that a lot more than Allison,"' she said, popping the cap off her highlighter and handing it to him. "Will you highlight it for me?" She took another bite of her taco and chewed it, then she went on, "I want her to have a name of substance, you know? I'd like to give her a strong middle name, like a famous author or a famous woman in history. Antoinette or Georgiana, or even Victoria or Elizabeth… but none of those go with Alyssa, do they?" she murmured.

  "Not really. Alyssa Victoria is okay," he said. "The first two don't really go with our century."

  "What about Jane, like after Jane Austen?" she asked.

  "Alyssa Jane," Aaron said.

  Grinning, she said, "I love it!"

  "Frankie Dean or Alyssa Jane," he said, shaking his head.

  "Hey, it's better than Georgiana Antoinette," she informed him.

  "Infinitely better," he agreed. "I actually like Alyssa Jane."

  "Me too," she said with a smile. "See, this is why we should go on road trips more often. We listen to Frank Sinatra and make important decisions like baby names."

  "Alyssa Jane Turner," he repeated, nodding. "That works, but I don't know about Frankie Dean. I think you might want to keep looking."

  Julie was sure that she meant to respond, but hearing him tack "Turner" onto the end of her unborn poppy seed's name momentarily stole her ability to speak. Actually, it made her feel a little nauseated.

  "Alyssa Jane Kingsley," she corrected mildly.

  That time he looked surprised, and it took him a minute to come up with, "Oh. I just assumed… I mean, that's how it normally works."

  "When the father is present, maybe, but haven't we already established that I screwed my kid out of a father-figure?"

  Frowning, Aaron said, "Not that I enjoy talking about this, but have you… spoken to him about this? I mean, I know Matt, and he may be a shitty brother, a shitty husband, and a shitty… boyfriend," he said, for lack of better word, "but he loves his kid. I think he would want you to give the baby his name."

  "And I don't think that donating sperm qualifies him to decide that," she stated without looking at him, picking at the shell of her taco. "I'm the one that has to take care of this baby, I'm going to be the one to have to fill out all of his or her paperwork in school, and sign it up for soccer. I don't want my baby to have some last name that I know I'll never possess. Then for the rest of my life, my kid has a different last name. That's not fair."

  "It's just a name," he said, shrugging. "You're still the one taking care of the baby."

  "Which is why I deserve to share its last name, and since I'm sure as hell never going to marry Matt, why should I hand his name down to my baby?" Shrugging, she said, “Plus… I mean, then my baby and Anna are going to have the same last name, and I just feel like it will add to the stigma if I stick around here. Suppose they end up going to the same school—they're going to know, and so is everyone else. Anna's older than Alyssa or Frankie, and Matt and Emma are still married. Why is my kid fatherless? And then it all makes sense, and everyone knows, and then my kid gets a stigma and everyone knows Anna's father isn't the faithful doting husband that he seems like at the Christmas performances."

  "All of that because of a last name?" Aaron asked, eyebrows raised.

  "All of that because my child is fatherless and has a married man's last name," she verified.

  "Well, it's also my last name, and I doubt I'll be married, so maybe people will assume it's mine, that Anna and Alyssa or Frankie are cousins. Plus, I don't know if you're aware of this, but Turner is not the most unique last name in the world—it could be anyone completely unrelated to my family."

  She had barely made it past the beginning, and her eyes were wide, "Okay, so rather than everyone know about your brother's exploits you would have people assume you have a child just around the corner that you have nothing to do with?"

  Frowning, he said, "Well, it doesn't have to be like that. And I'm sure you're thinking about this way too much; I don't think anyone is going to write a research paper about why Anna and another kid a little younger both have the same last name. Maybe if it was a different last name, but Turner is too common for anyone to think anything of it."

  Pursing her lips, she finally said, "I'll think about it. I've still got time."

  "I'll say," he agreed. "It's just a blueberry right now."

  Her stomach turned again, and as the aroma of the taco hit her nostrils, she realized it wasn't the idea if tacking Turner onto her poppy seed's name that bothered her.

  "Oh no," she said, shoving her taco at Aaron and jumping out of the car.

  "What's wrong?" he asked, a note of alarm in his voice as he threw open the car door.

  "Poppy Seed doesn't like Taco Bell!" she called over her shoulder as she ran inside the restaurant.

  ---

  As with most good things, the road trip had to come to an
end when they inevitably reached their destination. Julie was glad to be going with Aaron, even a little proud that she was showing her support, but once they got checked into their room and unloaded their luggage, there was no more stalling to be done.

  "The good news is we didn't have to go to the actual rehearsal," Aaron said as he parked his car and got out.

  But to Julie and her suddenly food-unfriendly poppy seed, the post-rehearsal dinner didn't sound much better.

  "Of course, I haven't talked to anyone yet, so… Matt and Emma could be at dinner."

  Forcing a bright smile, Julie said, "Oh well. Poppy Seed doesn't let me have much of an appetite at this point anyway. Maybe I'll throw up on one of them," she added hopefully.

  Aaron smiled a little reluctantly and shook his head. "And then you'll blame Poppy Seed?"

  "Naturally," she said with a nod. "But I'm just paying it forward—Poppy Seed will blame me for everything someday; I'm the mother."

  "Well, if you do that, I'll have to thank the kid when it comes out."

  "I'll remind you," she said with a little nod.

  Aaron opened the door for Julie, so she thanked him as she walked in. She walked slowly though, waiting for him to take the lead and show her which table they were going to.

  "I don't know what your family looks like," she stated as she bit her lip, glancing around.

  "Over here," he said, spotting the table they were sitting at and walking in that direction.

  Taking a quick survey of the table, she didn't see Matt or Emma, so she felt a little stab of relief. But then her gaze landed on Shannon.

  Aaron sighed, and she assumed he saw the same thing, but his expression never wavered.

  "I didn't know she was going to be at the dinner," Julie whispered.

  "Neither did I," he muttered. "Aren't you glad you came to this wedding?"

  Determined to be Aaron's source of moral support, she said, "Yes."

  He shot her a sideways glance, but she merely pasted a smile on her face and approached the table with him.

  "Aaron, there you are," said a pretty young woman with chin-length dark brown hair and twinkling brown eyes.

  "Hey, Becca," he said, leaning in and giving her a hug.

  "I'm so glad you could make it to dinner. Too bad about you missing the rehearsal," she said with an exaggerated pout.