Beautiful Mistakes

by Sam Mariano

  "If you were a fifth grade boy you wouldn't be allowed to drink alcohol."

  Aaron sighed and stood up, walking over and plopping his ass down in the chair.

  She waited a second, then she demanded, "Are you serious?"

  "I am serious," he returned, his gaze focused on the television as he took another sip.

  "Okay, so we have regressed to fifth grade?" she asked.

  Shaking his head, he said, "No, I haven't pulled your hair or pushed you in the mud yet. I'd say we're at about seventh right now."

  "If it really so horrible that you're nice to me when you drink?"

  "Hey, I've quit being an asshole to you. I no longer have to be drunk for that. It's not that I would be nice to you, as you well know. You have been there and seen what I'm like drunk."

  "And I think that you're pleasant and you should drink all the time," she stated.

  Rolling his eyes, he said, "We aren't debating this. I will sit in the chair, you can have the bed, and I will be the gentleman."

  "Ugh," she muttered, climbing off the bed and grabbing some pink pajamas out of her overnight bag.

  "Where are you going?" he asked, frowning at her.

  "I'm going to change into pajamas and I'm going to bed. I didn't realize I couldn't leave my corner," she said, shutting the bathroom door behind her.

  "I didn't say you had to go to bed," he called back.

  Rolling her eyes as she pulled her shirt over her head, she responded, "Thanks, Dad."

  "I'm not old enough to be your dad," he muttered.

  "No, but you might as well be," she murmured loudly.

  "It's pretty bad when I get bitched at for trying to be a gentleman," he told her.

  She climbed into her pajama pants and quickly pulled them up, opening the door and walking out. "Treating me like a leper is not the same as being a gentleman. I have been around you drunk a couple of times, and things have never been awkward. Why do you assume now that things will be awkward?"

  He shot her a look, but said nothing.

  Raising one eyebrow, she nodded. "Yeah, that's what I thought; no response."

  "Look, you're not thinking this through," he said. "And it's not your fault, because you don't know everything about me or my life or any of the shit that you've heard highlights of. But I'm not Matt, Julie. I'm not going to let you walk blindly into something because you're lonely."

  "Okay, Jack the Ripper, I live with you, and I really don't think you're as bad as that."

  "I'm not, which is why I'm sitting on the damn chair."

  Rolling her eyes, she said, "Whatever. Good night."

  "I get the cold shoulder for doing the right thing. That's fucking lovely."

  "Are you going to sleep in the chair, too? I mean, you're obviously a serial rapist, so are you thinking you should avoid the bed?" she asked.

  "I'm thinking I should suffocate you with a pillow," he stated.

  She cracked a smile, and she was glad that her back was to him so that he couldn't see. "Murderer, too. Why didn't I think of that?"

  "You need to recalibrate your good-idea settings," Aaron stated.

  "And you need robes of a monk so as not to confuse people," she muttered. "I mean, heaven forbid if you imbibe a little alcohol and flirt! Things could be awkward the next day, because I've never had a drunken guy flirt with me before."

  "It's not flirting with you I'm worried about," he told her.

  "Well, it's your light flirting that I enjoy once you've tipped the elbow a little bit, and I'm getting totally ripped off," she told him.

  He paused, then he said, "You know, I almost argued with you, but it's better if I don't. Just pout, go to sleep, and when you wake up the wedding will be here and it will all be almost over."

  And she would get to see Matt and Emma and Shannon all at the same damn location while Aaron stayed as far from her as possible.

  Sounded like a fantastic day.

  "I can hardly stand the excitement," she muttered, wishing she could join the fray and imbibe alcohol to get through the wedding.

  "You'll thank me someday," he told her.

  "No, I'm pretty sure I won't," she said. "I've never once said to a man, 'Hey, thank you so much for not flirting and being nice to me when you were drunk last night, that would have made things really awkward.' Because, you see, that's part of the fun of drinking. I have had multiple male friends come on to me while drunk. In fact, I have had multiple male friends try to have sex with me while drunk, and never once has it been awkward the next day. That's the beauty of being drunk—no matter what you do, you don't have to feel stupid, because you can just shrug it off, saying, 'Oh, I was drunk.' I say okay, and we go about our normal lives. I am not the delicate flower that you seem to think I am, Aaron Turner."

  "No, delicate flower is probably the wrong terminology," he stated.

  Just then, there was a light rap on the door.

  Frowning, Julie pulled back the covers. "Who the hell would be knocking on our door this late?" she asked, looking at the clock. It was only 10:32, technically, but with the wedding the next day and the fact that they were staying at a hotel, it didn't seem like anyone should be paying a visit.

  "I don't know. Stay there," he said, standing up. "I'll get it."

  Julie listened, and she sat at the edge of the bed as Aaron approached the door. He cracked it open just so that he could see the person on the other side but not Julie. She craned her neck to see as he got a bored expression on his face and asked the person what they wanted.

  "I just wanted to say I was sorry… about everything, Aaron."

  Rolling her eyes, Julie had to fight the urge to go shut the door in Shannon's face.

  "All right, good night," Aaron said, stepping back to close the door.

  "Would you listen to me? God, I'm trying, and you won't even… I've been thinking about this a lot lately, and I just… need you to listen to me."

  He said nothing, which she must have taken as acquiescence.

  "I made a mistake, Aaron. I did. I screwed up. I was young, I was overly ambitious… I was fucking stupid, okay? I threw away the only thing that ever meant anything to me—you. And I know that you felt the same way, Aaron. Why has it taken you so long to move on?"

  "Okay, good night," he said.

  "Just talk to me," she pleaded, catching the door when he went to shut it. "Please, just… can we go for a walk? Just listen to what I have to say. I know that I hurt you, Aaron. Trust me, I hurt myself with what I did, too. I've been paying for it for years. And… I'll never love someone as much as I loved you."

  He fell silent then, and Julie shifted, itching to go shut the door and push him away from the temptation of listening.

  Oh no, he wasn't shutting the door.

  "Just… a walk," she said quietly. "What harm can a walk do?"

  He hesitated, then said, "I… have been drinking."

  "Even better," she said, and Julie could hear a little smile in her voice.

  Aaron must actually be considering it, she realized none too calmly as he stood there with the door propped open.

  What was he thinking? Julie wondered with… annoyance? Yes, it had to be annoyance.

  "No," he finally said, shaking his head. "Go back to your room, don't come back to this one… I can't talk to you right now."

  She held the door open again, gaining confidence. "You want to. I can tell you want to."

  "Of course I want to," Aaron said dismissively. "I want to hear the woman who fucked me over and fucked my brother grovel about what a mistake it was, how she would give anything to take it all back and be with me again. Who wouldn't want to hear that, Shannon? But right now there's someone waiting for me to join her in bed, and I have no intention of disappointing her to go for a walk with you." He smiled. "Sweet dreams, Shannon."

  And then he closed the door in her face, and she didn't try to stop him.

  As he walked back to the chair, he said, "Sorry about making you sound like a sex to
y."

  Shrugging, Julie offered a smile and said, "It’s cool."

  Sighing as he sat down in the chair, he said, "You know, I could be getting laid tonight."

  "Yes, you could," Julie agreed with a nod.

  "And I could have been a bastard about it, too," he mused. "I could have given her hope, let her grovel, went back to her room with her… and then left her in the morning, never to be heard from again."

  "And you could catch herpes or syphilis; that would be fun, wouldn't it?" Julie said cheerfully.

  Shooting her a look, he said, "Hey, I said no, didn't I?"

  "Yeah, you did. After a hesitation," she added.

  "Don't even go there," he warned. "How many times did you hesitate with Matt? And you claim you didn't love him. I did love Shannon; I thought I would spend the rest of my life with her. You don't think it's tempting? Do you have any idea how long I've been alone? And it's because of her, because of… the bullshit. I can't even date. I did try. Twice. I tried to date two different girls after Shannon, and I scared both of them off in record time."

  Thinking back to his gruff personality, she could imagine how.

  "Sometimes I think she's the only person who could put up with me. But at the end of the day, I have too much damn pride. I can't forgive her."

  Crawling over to the other side of the bed so she was sitting closer to Aaron, she said, "I don't blame you. I doubt I could either."

  "And the alternative is being alone," he stated, gazing at the neck of his bottle.

  "That's not true," she said, shaking her head. "You're a wonderful man, Aaron, and I think you could be very happy with someone who...is loyal. Someone who appreciates you."

  He shook his head. "No, you don't understand; you've never dated me."

  "Well, no, I haven't, but… I am around you a lot."

  He shook his head more fervently. "It's different. I'm… the whole thing with Matt and Shannon made me… really distrusting. I'm one of those crazy possessive guys. You know the thing when I got drunk on New Year's and I made you delete Matt's text messages? That's the kind of thing that I do to girls I try to date. I never used to be like that, but I never thought I had to worry about it. The one girl I tried to date was Alicia, really nice girl, but she would drive me crazy talking to other guys. I'm just… weird about it. We went out to dinner once, I went to the bathroom and when I came back she was playing with her phone… she had a missed call or something from some other guy, and I… acted like an asshole for the rest of the night. She actually did go out with me one more time after that, and we were in a movie theater, her cell went off, she practically ran out to take the phone call and I… flipped out of her. I'm the one you avoid and bitch to your friends about."

  Frowning, Julie said, "I don't… really see that. How soon after Shannon was this?"

  Shrugging, he said, "I don't know, a month?"

  Her eyes widened slightly and she said, "Well, duh! It was too soon; you weren't ready."

  He shook his head. "I don't think so. I think New Year's Eve proved that I'm still like that."

  "Okay, for one thing, you didn't make me delete the text messages, you gave me an option and I chose to let you do it. Free will right there."

  "You only think that because you're not in my mind," he told her. "You don't really know what my thoughts are."

  "No, I certainly do not," she said dismally.

  "Well, I do," he said with a nod. "And I happen to know I would torture you."

  Frowning, she said, "Wait, me? Why are we talking about me?"

  Sighing, he said, "Fuck, I don't know. Don't talk to me anymore. Go to sleep."

  Looking down at the half-empty bottle in his hand, she said, "That's starting to hit you, isn't it?"

  "Go to bed," he said gruffly.

  "Why did you say you would torture me?" she asked. "I thought we were talking about you dating…"

  "Slip of tongue. I'm drunk; leave me alone."

  "But—”

  "Julie, go to sleep," he said firmly.

  "I will go to bed when you do," she said stubbornly.

  "I am not cuddling with you tonight, so you might as well not wait for me," he told her, his gaze floating back to the TV.

  Sighing, she said, "I don't care, I'm still waiting for you to come to bed. Remember, you said you weren't going to disappoint me," she reminded him with a smile.

  "I lied," he informed her. "I was just trying to piss her off."

  "I know," she said. "But I'm still waiting. We will go to bed together. In the meantime, you can drink your beer and we can talk."

  Tilting his beer up, he chugged the rest of it and sat the bottle down on the nightstand.

  "Or," he said, standing up and unbuttoning his shirt, "I can go to sleep right now and shut you the hell up."

  She watched, speechless, as he began peeling his shirt off right in front of her.

  Damn, she thought tilting her head just slightly off to the side as she checked him out. To say he was well-formed seemed like a bit of an understatement. His body was lean and tan, and much to her viewing pleasure, he wasn't all furry—he had a nice smooth chest, with flat abs and a golden hue to his skin.

  It wasn't right.

  She knew she didn't look that good topless.

  "Stop that," he said with a little smile as he walked over to the bed.

  She met his gaze, saying honestly, "I think you shouldn't wear shirts."

  "Thank you, I think," he said.

  Privately, she also thought that anyone with a body that nice ought to be letting someone see it.

  "I… definitely didn't assume that you were hiding a six-pack underneath your hoodie."

  Shrugging, she thought he was flexing a little on purpose just to show off. "That's why there are gyms in Chicago."

  So he worked out. That could explain some of his disappearances…. Or maybe all of them, she thought distractedly, because he was really pretty.

  Aaron pulled back the covers and climbed in bed beside her.

  Julie glanced at him, saying, "So… were you going to maybe reconsider the whole 'no cuddling' rule? I mean, we're both here in this bed, and it's kind of cold, and we've cuddled before without awkwardness… and if it helps, I'm not at all concerned with you being a psycho who enforces text message deletion."

  "No," he said, closing his eyes. "I'm drunk, I am much too likely to come onto you."

  "And I am okay with that risk," she stated.

  "I am not," he told her.

  Pursing her lips, she thought it was incredibly unfair that the night he looked his sexiest was the night he was going to refuse to give her some cuddle time. "Well, if I cuddle with you and you don't cuddle back; will you get mad at me for crowding your space?"

  Sighing, his eyes opened and he said, "Do you ever listen? I hope you have a daughter and I hope she is just like you."

  "Well, I hope she doesn't come out wanting to cuddle with a sexy man, but I would wager a guess that someday after puberty she will have such a desire," Julie reasoned. "You never answered my question."

  "I am a man, Julie. I am not going to fight you off if you touch me, but I am advising you not to."

  Smiling, she ignored his advice and draped her arm over his chest, snuggling up next to him and resting her face on his chest.

  He sighed reluctantly and wrapped an arm around her, letting her snuggle into his side.

  "Now will you go to sleep?" he asked.

  "Sure," she agreed. "Now see, that wasn't so bad, was it?"

  "You are a child," he stated.

  Grinning, she said, "I am a woman, and women like to be cuddled with."

  "By their boyfriend, yes, not by their baby daddy's brother."

  Shrugging a little, she said, "What can I say, I'm a unique woman."

  He shook his head at her, yawning and saying, "Go to bed, unique woman. We have a long day ahead of us tomorrow."

  "True enough," she said, closing her eyes. "Thank you," she added.

&nb
sp; "For what?" he murmured.

  With a little smile, she said, "Not disappointing me."

  "My pleasure. Now go to sleep."

  Still smiling, she kept her eyes closed and stayed curled up close to Aaron, and before long, she was drifting off to sleep, trying not to think too much of the day they had ahead of them.

  Chapter Twenty One-

  The following day was the much-anticipated wedding.

  Julie was no longer looking forward to it, and by all appearances Aaron was even less excited about it than he had been. When he woke up he hadn't been hung over, which was good, but he seemed reluctant to begin drinking again. However, he was also reluctant to go to the wedding completely clear-headed.

  She didn't know why he was so cautious, but she didn't spend a lot of time thinking about it as she had her own problems to worry about. When she got to the wedding, Matt was going to be there. She could not imagine any part of that was going to be comfortable.

  Since Emma was also bound to be there, even though any attempt to measure up to her beauty was an absolute waste of time, Julie felt femininely compelled to at least do her best.

  The dress Julie bought was black with white polka dots, a modestly sexy halter neck, and a girly flair at the bottom. She figured since she wasn't pregnant enough to show, she should take advantage of not looking like a blimp while she still could.

  Aaron emerged from the bathroom in a sleek black suit with a snowy white dress shirt underneath. He looked gorgeous, and Julie was glad, because that was just going to make Shannon—and maybe even Matt—that much more jealous. Julie had seen Matt in a suit before, and while he did look very nice, he didn't look like he should be standing in front of one of those really big fans as they shoot the cover of GQ.

  Maybe it was because she never saw Aaron in suits, she decided.

  But if he insisted on wearing clothes, she thought he should spend more time in suits.

  Smiling as he walked out, Aaron said, "I didn't realize we would match."

  She returned the smile and grabbed her tiny black purse. "Are we ready?"

  "Define 'ready,'" he said.

  Shaking her head, she said, "We have to go in there as happy as clams. We are entering the enemy camp."