Beautiful Mistakes

by Sam Mariano

  Tucking her cell phone into her purse, Julie ventured out of the apartment and made her way down to the lobby. As she walked she daydreamed about different scenarios of their date—a quiet café date where they could eat paninis across from each other and discuss likes and dislikes sounded good to her. A movie would be okay, but since she wouldn't actually get to see him and they wouldn't get to talk at all she found that prospect a little disappointing. Of course in a theater he would hold her hand while they watched the movie, but… she would still rather more face to face. Another idea she had was that he might take her down the Magnificent Mile to the Ghirardelli store—she had always thought that would be a nice place for a date—and they could have a seat by the window and talk while they ate ice cream sundaes.

  She was just about to think up a new date idea when she was brought to an abrupt halt by a scene she somehow hadn't imagined when she thought about what the day of their date would be like.

  Matt and Aaron standing in the lobby bickering like the brothers that they were.

  Stifling the urge to sigh, Julie put on her "mom face" and marched right over to her.

  When Matt noticed her, he sent a hostile glare in Aaron's direction and said, "Here she is."

  "What is going on here?" Julie demanded. "Matt, why are you here?"

  "I've been waiting here for damn close to an hour. This asshole doorman wouldn't let me come up!" he said, jabbing a thumb in the kindly doorman's direction.

  In his own defense, the doorman blurted like a second grader trying to explain to his teacher why he had pushed the other little boy on the playground, "But Mr. Turner told me not to ever let his brother up when he isn't at home!"

  "What?" Julie exclaimed, gaping at Aaron with a mixture of disbelief and… something else she hadn't yet identified.

  Grimacing, Aaron rubbed the back of his neck and said to Julie, "It wasn't that I didn't trust you, it's just that I know Matt and I knew he would try to do this, to… to corner you when I'm not here, and I didn't want you to have to deal with that."

  "You didn't want me to have to deal with that," she repeated with a nod, not believing him. "Because… clearly I'm not capable of looking out the little peephole, seeing that it's Matt, and not letting him into our locked apartment?"

  He seemed to understand how unlikely that sounded when it was repeated back to him, so he grimaced again.

  Julie sighed, then she turned her attention back to Matt. "What are you doing here, Matt?"

  "I wanted to see you," he said stubbornly.

  "Even though I made myself perfectly clear when I told you on the phone that I didn't want to see you?"

  "But that's just because of him," Matt said accusingly, as if his argument completely excused his presence there.

  "Right. Him. The person that I picked over you. What part of that wasn't crystal-fucking-clear, Matt? I am a hormonal pregnant woman and you are pissing me off—you might get a vase thrown at your head here in a minute if I don't start hearing an actual reason that you're showing up here, causing me turbulence in my life."

  "Did he let you have my flowers?" Matt asked.

  "They were delivered, and I gave them to the receptionist. I give her all of the flowers that you send me. In fact, if you continue to send them to the apartment I no longer even see them, because I told her not to send them up to me."

  "Nice," Matt muttered. "Sending you flowers is a nice thing, you'd think you'd appreciate them."

  "If we were dating, sure. At this point they're just big bouquets of vindictiveness that you send me to try to bother a brother that you are completely aware has trust issues that you instilled in him. This sibling rivalry between you two is ridiculous."

  "That's not fair," Matt objected. "I don't just send you the flowers to bother Aaron, Julie. I have told you over and over again how sorry I am for how everything went down—”

  Cutting him off, she said, "And I have told you over and over again that your time for making amends has passed. I don't give out free passes to fuck me over, Matt. When I was sitting on the bed of your guest room, terrified, confused, hurt—where were you then? You most certainly were not on the bed next to me telling me everything would be okay and somehow we would work it out. No. You kicked my ass out of your house. You sent me away—exiled me to live with a brother that you didn't even get along with, one you knew would be mean to me because of things that you did to him in the past. Please, Matt, tell me again how much you cared about me, how much you wanted me in your life."

  "I made a mistake," Matt said, impulsively grabbing Julie's hand. "Julie, I swear to God—”

  "Get your hands off of her or you're gonna be meeting Him a whole hell of a lot sooner than you expect to," Aaron stated, his eyes blazing.

  "I love you," Matt said.

  Silence.

  Julie's heart plummeted and Aaron's face lost color. Julie quickly pulled her hand away, but her tongue seemed to be stuck in her throat and she couldn't manage to say anything.

  "Get the fuck out of my apartment building," Aaron said lowly.

  "Not until I'm damn good and ready," Matt said.

  "I'm warning you, Matt. You better leave or I'm going to play every card that I have to bring your whole damn world down around you."

  "What are you going to do, Aaron, sleep with my wife again?"

  "Fuck you, Matt," Aaron shot back. "And I'm going to tell you something else—you better stop sending my girlfriend flowers, because I have let them be delivered to her up to this point, I thought you'd get this shit out of your system, but you know what, you've crossed the line and I'm not dealing with this shit anymore. The next bouquet of flowers that I catch you trying to send Julie, the receptionist isn't going to be receiving them; Emma will. I'll send every last baby's breath to your wife and see what she thinks of your little love letters."

  With a snide smirk, Matt said to Aaron, "You know what's funny? In order to keep your girlfriend you have to threaten to tattle to my wife. It's not even that you believe Julie doesn't want to be with me, you just think you're easier and as long as you can fend off the competition you can keep her."

  That petty remark seemed to restore Julie's capacity for speech, and she managed to say, "Matt, please… just go."

  Turning his attention back to Julie, he gave her that puppy-dog-eyed look and said, "You don't really want me to go, Julie."

  Aaron butted in, "Apparently she does, because she just asked you to. Now leave."

  Purposefully maintaining eye contact with Julie, Matt went on. "You're only saying this because he's here. Please give me another chance to make this right, don't let him come between us."

  Shaking her head, Julie was suddenly fed up. "Fine, if you won't leave, I will. If you guys would like to continue duking it out like pre-teen boys who both like the same girl, by all means, do that. But Matt, you have a wife and daughter to be getting back to, and Aaron, we had plans and you're letting him ruin them."

  With that, Julie spun on her heel and stormed back up to the apartment.

  She only had to sit on the couch pouting for a few seconds before she heard footsteps in the hallway and then Aaron came waking in the apartment looking like he had the roughest day of his life.

  Stealing a glance at the clock, he saw that they were already late.

  Quietly, he said, "I'm sorry, we should have already left."

  "Well… something came up," she said evenly.

  "I shouldn't have even stopped to argue with him, I should have just told him to leave and ignored him. I should have just…" Aaron trailed off, sighing.

  "Look, it doesn't matter," Julie said. "It's over, he's gone…"

  "Do you still want to go?" Aaron asked.

  "Will the doorman let me leave without my leash?" Julie asked a little sarcastically.

  Grimacing, Aaron sighed again and said, "I'm sorry, Julie. I told you I was like that. I never claimed that… it was going to be all sunshine and rainbows, and you know that especially when it comes to M
att I have a hard time with the whole trust thing."

  "I do know that, Aaron, I just didn't realize you had actually involved outside supervision for me. I know we joked about our slight age difference, but I kind of feel like I'm your daughter right now, and I've gotta say, it's not very hot. I'm being babysat by the doorman?"

  "He isn't babysitting you, Julie, I just asked him to… not let Matt up to my apartment without my knowledge."

  "Is Matt a serial killer?"

  "No."

  "Rapist?"

  "No."

  "Burglar? Shoe thief? Peeping tom?"

  Sighing, Aaron said, "No."

  "Okay. So we have established that Matt is not dangerous, correct?"

  "Only to my peace of mind."

  "Well, that tells me you weren't looking out for me. What it looks like to me is actually right along the lines of what Matt said for once. You don't trust me. Even though I have turned him away, sold all of the gifts that he got me, asked him not to call me, gone to family functions to publicly establish myself as yours and not his… even though I have rejected him when he tried to buy me a townhouse close to campus and decorate my nursery to get me out of your apartment, and coldly told him I didn't want him in my life or my child's life… you can't trust me? What do I have to do to prove myself to you, Aaron—stab him in the heart with a piece of cutlery?"

  Frowning, Aaron said, "When did he try to buy you a townhouse?"

  Shaking her head, she said, "That isn't important. What's important is that I told him no. I told him it was you I wanted countless times—more than half of those times you were even right there listening to me say it. I have spent every night in your arms, I have taken your shit as penance for the mistakes I made with him, I have done everything in my power to make you see that you're the one I want—hell, I try to seduce you every damn night. Why would I do any of that, Aaron, if I didn't mean it?"

  Taking a seat next to her on the couch he rested his head in his hands and sighed, admitting, "I don't know. I don't know why she did it. I don't know… what I did wrong."

  Immediately chastising herself for her utter lack of understanding and compassion, Julie carefully wrapped her arm around Aaron, giving him a slightly awkward, lopsided hug.

  "You did nothing wrong," Julie assured him. "It is not your fault that Shannon cheated on you. She made a decision to betray you—a decision I would never make."

  Sitting back, he looked over at her. "But you weren't there, Julie. You don't understand. There was absolutely no indication that anything was wrong. Everything was going great between us—or, I thought it was. It was good, just like you and I are good right now. I have no idea what went wrong, one day everything was great, she loved me, she wouldn't leave me, we were going to have a life together. Since I couldn't have kids we were thinking about adoption because I really wanted a family. Things were going in the right direction and then out of nowhere—boom!—I'm sleeping with your brother and I'm pregnant with his kid."

  Feeling a little self-conscious, Julie thought of her own poppy seed.

  "I don't want to go through that again, Julie. I can't… do that again. It took me a while to come back from losing Shannon, but… I know there will be no bouncing back for me if I lose you."

  There was an unfamiliar tug in Julie's heart when he dragged that last part out—those words more sincere than any declaration of love Matt or Jack had ever been able to muster.

  Julie realized, looking at him in that moment, that she was no longer angry.

  Although she wanted his trust—and aimed to win it eventually—knowing that he kept her hidden away and guarded like the Hope diamond out of fear made her feel infinitely better. Sure, it meant he didn't have much confidence in her ability to make sound decisions just yet, but they were still new, and her track record wasn’t great. When they had been together longer, Aaron would realize Julie wasn't Shannon. He would realize that he didn't have to keep guards on her, because if unwanted guests came sniffing around she would simply express her disinterest and go back to Aaron.

  Just not yet.

  Rome wasn't built in a day, and neither was trust.

  He would trust her someday, she knew that in her heart.

  With a tender smile, Julie reached out and touched his cheek. "Aaron Turner, you couldn't get rid of me if you tried." She missed a beat, then she added, "You did try, remember?"

  His lips curved up slightly and he said, "Did I ever tell you how glad I am that it didn't work?"

  Her smiled widened and she tugged on his shirt, pulling him in close to her. "How 'bout you show me instead?"

  She saw a glimpse of his smile widening, then his eyes closed and so did hers as their lips met, conveying all the things that words just couldn't adequately express. Within the kiss all the distrust dissipated, fear fell away, apologies became unnecessary, and everything fused together to give Julie that safe feeling like she had never experienced before she felt Aaron's touch.

  As she lost herself in his kiss, Julie began to lean back against the arm of the sofa and Aaron followed her. The second she felt the heat of his chest against hers something primal exploded inside of her, and she decided instantaneously that she didn't give a damn about going on a date.

  No words were necessary as she felt Aaron's eagerness in his intense exploration of her mouth, the way his hand tenderly wrapped around her arm just because he needed to touch her.

  Leaning back more completely, Julie reached down to the bottom of his T-shirt and yanked it up his back, smiling at him briefly when he raised his arms to help her get the fabric off of him and then feverishly yanking him back down to her lips again.

  His fingers found the buttons on her cranberry button down and he quickly began undoing them as he continued to kiss her, giving her goose bumps when his thumb would accidentally brush against her skin in his haste. Once he had her fully unbuttoned he slipped his hand inside the shirt, just lightly holding her around the waist.

  Briefly, she considered suggesting they move to the bedroom, but then his hand slipped inside of her lavender lacey bra and she decided they didn't need a new location. Her fingers found the button of his jeans with little difficulty and she unfastened them, then slowly lowered the zipper.

  Suddenly he broke the kiss and pulled back.

  Letting out a low noise of confusion, Julie reluctantly opened her eyes to look up at Aaron, raking his fingers through his hair and muttering a low curse.

  "What—why are you stopping?" she asked.

  "We have a date. I… almost forgot about our date."

  "Forget about our date," she said eagerly. "I don't care. We can go on a date another night, right now I just want you."

  Groaning, he said, "Please don't make this harder than it is, Julie."

  She was about to keep trying when he quickly climbed off her, grabbing his T-shirt off the floor.

  Throwing her hands dramatically over her face she cried, "Are you serious? Has there ever been a tease greater than you, Aaron Turner?"

  Smiling, he removed her left hand from her eye and leaned down to kiss her. "I'm sorry, but I really can't cancel this date. I promise you, as soon as I can possibly get you back to this apartment we will pick up where we left off."

  Still she just gave him a pout. "Can't we go on the date after?"

  "No, I'm afraid we can't. Besides, I'm not letting you out of bed once we get in it."

  "Promise?" she asked.

  Lightly brushing his thumb over her bottom lip, he said, "Most definitely. I already told Leigh I won't be in early in the morning, either."

  Grinning, Julie said, "Well, okay. When you put it that way…"

  "Give me two minutes and we'll get out of here," he promised, disappearing down the hallway.

  ---

  When Aaron brought Julie to the Navy Pier, she was a little confused.

  In her limited time in Chicago, she had only been to Navy Pier once with Jack and some of his friends, but it didn't strike her as the type
of place Aaron would bring her on a date. For one thing, it was a big tourist area with plenty of shopping and food, but nothing about it seemed very romantic.

  "So, may I ask what we're doing here? Are we going to eat?" Julie asked, holding Aaron's hand as they walked.

  "Not right now—why, are you hungry?"

  "Kind of, but that's not why I asked. I'm just curious as to what we're doing."

  "We will be there in just a minute," he told her. "Then I will tell you."

  Sighing, she followed him, wondering where he was taking her.

  They were passing shops, so when Aaron slowed to a stop outside of the Build-A-Bear shop, she began looking at the nearby shops trying to figure out if they were going to eat or what was going on.

  "We're here," he stated, when he saw she didn't immediately catch on.

  Julie blinked at him, glanced behind him at the Build-A-Bear shop, and then she cracked a smile. "You brought me on a date to Build-A-Bear?"

  "You say that like it's an uncool place for a date," he said jokingly.

  "No, I just… it wasn't what I expected."

  He smiled a little and said, "Okay, it's kind of corny, but… I wanted to bring you here so we could make the baby's first teddy bear."

  Her insides felt all mushy at the admission and her grin grew. Without thinking about it, she stepped closer to him and wrapped her arms around his neck, gazing up at him. "This is the best first date ever."

  "This is the first half. The second half won’t be baby-oriented."

  "And does the second half require clothes?" she asked innocently.

  With a little laugh, he said, "Okay, the last third won't require clothing. I'm afraid the second third does though."

  "Damn. Well, that's okay. Let's get to teddy bear making, Mr. Turner."

  Once inside, they were greeted by the friendly Build-A-Bear employees. Julie thought the girl looked a little bit amused when Aaron informed her that they would be making the bear, not a child, but like a good customer service representative she merely smiled at them and showed them to the bears.