Beautiful Mistakes

by Sam Mariano

  There was silence on the line for so long that Julie had to pull back the phone and look at it, to see if he had hung up. She saw that he didn't and put the phone back to her ear, just waiting.

  "Is that what you want me to do?" he finally asked.

  "Yes," she said simply. "I love Aaron, and he loves me, and this is his chance to have a family. If you have any remorse for all that you've taken from him, just… back off and let him have this."

  He was quiet for a few more seconds and then a rough laugh, completely devoid of any humor. "It's funny, I think I would do one of the big romantic gestures if I thought it would work."

  Smiling slightly, she answered, "That's the sibling rivalry talking."

  There was another pause, then he said very quietly, "I just don't love her anymore, Julie."

  Despite herself, she sighed, sitting down and closing her eyes. She hated that she felt sympathetic to the man, but she couldn't seem to completely kick the feeling. "I know. I don't blame you, she's… something else. And I'm sorry, I really am. I wish that you weren't stuck in a loveless marriage, but… I'm not the answer. I've never been the answer. There was a time, however brief, when I would have been your excuse, and who knows what would have happened then? But… you let that window close, Matt."

  "I wasn't ready then," he admitted. "I still needed to hold onto her, but now I just…"

  A sharp pain knocked the wind right out of Julie and she gasped, trying to draw a steadying breath.

  "Julie?" Matt asked, concerned.

  "Everything's good," she managed, trying to keep her voice even. "Um… I have to go though, I'm sorry, but… think about what I said."

  "Yeah," he said flatly.

  "Bye, Matt," she said, quickly hanging up the phone and then turning it back on, dialing the number to the café.

  Debbie answered and Julie asked to talk to Aaron, who came to the phone immediately, asking what was wrong.

  "I think I just had another contraction," she told him.

  "You did?" he asked excitedly. "All right, um… you've only had one, right? Stay put, I'll be there as quick as I can."

  "Be careful," she advised sternly. "I’m sure I still have plenty of time, but I just… want you to be here with me."

  "Where else would I be?" he asked lightly.

  Julie smiled and hung up the phone, then she waddled into their bedroom to check her pre-packed hospital bag. Once she was certain all of her stuff was in there, she grabbed the incredibly tiny pink dress that was left on top, hugging it to her and closing her eyes as she considered that her daughter would soon be there.

  Aaron got there in record time and loaded her stuff into the car. Julie had only experienced two more contractions and she assured him they were still bearable, but he still wanted to haul her into the hospital.

  As it happened, the rest of the evening went smoothly, her water didn't even break and her contractions were bad but not terrible. They checked her into a room and Aaron never left her side, but by about 11 o'clock he had fallen asleep in the chair, still holding her hand. Julie drifted off to sleep shortly after that, her water still in tact, and it wasn't until just after four in the morning that she woke up, her hospital gown soaked through, a horrendous contraction stealing over her. Aaron woke up when she clenched onto his hand painfully, and then he called for the nurse when he realized her water had broken.

  Before long, the contractions were coming with increasing regularity and when the nurse timed them at about three minutes apart, they called the doctor in.

  "These hurt a lot worse than the ones I had earlier," Julie informed them all, pausing to inelegantly wipe the sweat from her brow as another contraction hit.

  "How far is she dilated?" Aaron asked.

  "She's at 6 cm so far, she still has a ways to go," the nurse informed him.

  "Oh God, it needs to be over now," Julie groaned, squeezing Aaron's hand. "Why can't I be one of those women who has their baby in like 20 minutes?"

  Smiling slightly, the nurse replied, "Most of us aren't that lucky, hon."

  "This is the worst," Julie stated, frowning at Aaron. "This is not magical, Aaron. Not a bit."

  Smiling slightly, he said, "I think it's the post-labor part that's supposed to be magical, honey."

  Looking down at the stomach, she said, "Alyssa Jane, Mommy would appreciate if you would cooperate with the nice people and come out."

  "Hey, she's coming early as it is, give the kid a break," Aaron said.

  "Thank God. I don't think I could have lasted another three weeks, Aaron. I think I would have exploded out of my skin."

  Three and a half hours later, Julie was dilated and in the throes of intense and frequent contractions. She was pushing, crying, screaming and breathing. The doctor was assuring her that he could see the baby's head and Aaron was anxiously holding her hand while she squeezed his until it was numb.

  "It's almost over, honey," Aaron promised her.

  Nodding vigorously, she continued to breathe.

  "She's crowning," the doctor said, offering Julie a smile. "You're doing great, Julie. I need you to push, we need to get her out."

  "I'm pushing," Julie cried, taking a breath and pushing even harder.

  Absently pulling her hand up to his lips and leaving a brief kiss there, Aaron offered her a little smile and said, "She's almost here, honey. It's almost over."

  "You better appreciate this, mister," she stated, scowling at him. "This whole making you a daddy business hurts like hell. We could've just gotten a puppy, you know."

  Aaron chuckled, kissing her hand again and glancing back at the doctor.

  "Puppies are cute," she insisted, giving another grimacing push. "They bark," she gasped, "but you don't have to push them out of your body, so… I'm a fan."

  Aaron patted her hand as she panted, looking decidedly disappointed that there was still no crying of a baby.

  The doctor was concentrating and he looked up at Julie, giving her more directions and telling her he almost had the baby, but he needed one more really good push.

  Since she could feel that the baby was coming out, she had confidence in his words and she took a couple of breaths before buckling down and pushing as hard as she possibly could without giving herself an aneurism.

  A plaintive, screechy little cry rent the room and Julie fell back onto the bed, panting with her last efforts while Aaron abandoned her hand and turned his attention to the doctor, who was lifting the slippery little bundle and handing it off to a nurse.

  "I'm going to clean her up a little," the nurse promised. The nurse asked Aaron if he wanted to cut the cord, and Julie just stared at the ceiling, only dimly aware of anything that was going on.

  While the nurse cleaned up the baby, Aaron turned back to Julie, positively beaming at her. "You did it, honey. It's all over."

  "Almost," the doctor stated.

  Julie blinked at him, then he explained they had to deliver the afterbirth and he began massaging her stomach.

  After the decidedly less exciting—and infinitely less painful—second birth, Julie grimaced, saying to Aaron, "This is so gross, you're never going to want to sleep with me again."

  Laughing a little, he sat in the chair, kissing her hand again and giving it a little squeeze. "I disagree," he told her warmly. "After this, I look forward to sleeping with you every night for the rest of my life."

  She was just about to remark on the "rest of my life" part of that comment when the nurse brought over a swaddled little bundle with pruney little hands and a very red skin tone.

  "Who wants to hold the baby first?" the nurse asked. "Mama?"

  She did, but one look at Aaron's eager face caused her to smile a little and say, "Let Daddy hold her first."

  Aaron lit up as the nurse handed him the bundled up baby girl, and Julie thought a person couldn't possibly look at another human being with more love than Aaron was looking at their baby in that moment.

  "She's perfect," he murmured, lightly br
ushing his thumb across her tiny little hand.

  Grinning, Julie peered over at her baby and said, "Yes, she most certainly is."

  "No other baby that has ever been born could possibly have been this perfect," he insisted. "It would defy the laws of nature."

  Julie chuckled a little, placing her hand on Aaron's shoulder and sighing.

  "You want to hold her?" he asked, shifting the baby's position slightly.

  Julie nodded, positioning herself a little better and then carefully taking the baby into her arms.

  It was the most amazing moment of her entire life, looking down into the sleepy little face of a person that she created. She was so beautiful, with the tiniest little nose and mouth, and wrinkly little fingers that Julie caught and rubbed lightly with her thumb.

  The tenderness she felt was almost overwhelming, and Julie was half certain she was going to burst with it.

  "You're right," she said, nodding and placing a little kiss on her baby's fist. "There's no way any other baby could have been this perfect."

  "She's an anomaly, I tell ya," Aaron confirmed, smiling down into his daughter's face.

  Despite her earlier objections to labor, she decided she would do it ten more times if she had to just to hold that little bundle in her arms.

  Glancing up at the nurse, she said, "What's her information? How much does she weigh? How long is she? I don't even know when she was born—I'm a terrible mother!"

  Smiling patiently, the nurse said, "She was born at 9:44, she was 20 inches long, 7 lbs 3 oz and you are not a terrible mother."

  Grinning, Julie said, "You are a perfect little girl, did you know that? Mommy and Daddy are going to spoil you as much as we can without crossing the border to rotten."

  "Daddy has been reading parenting books," Aaron informed the baby. "I have a pretty good idea of how this works."

  Scoffing, Julie said, "Daddy's in for a rude awakening, isn't he?"

  Even though she knew it wasn't developmentally possible for the baby to smile in reaction yet, a little gas bubble must have intervened because it very much looked like little Alyssa Jane smiled conspiratorially.

  ---

  Once the excitement of Alyssa Jane being born began to calm down, the baby was taken away for standard tests. When the baby was brought back in, Julie was instructed on how to breastfeed her and given a little tutorial on how to put diapers on with the umbilical cord.

  There was a little folder full of important papers that included a paper they needed to fill out for Alyssa’s birth certificate, and the woman who gave it to them gave them a speech, making sure Aaron understood his duties if he put his name down as her father, presumably because they weren’t married.

  Without hesitation, Aaron whipped the paper out, grabbed a pen, and put his name down as Alyssa’s father.

  Julie eventually called her mother to tell her that she had delivered, and she assured her that she could come visit the baby at her earliest convenience in their new home. Honestly, Julie didn't even like being in the hospital, so she wasn't overly excited about getting visitors.

  Only Leigh visited, which came as a relief to Aaron and Julie. She cooed and fussed over the baby, held her, took some pictures, and eventually left, and there were no unpleasant surprise visitors. Since he was afraid of just that, Aaron didn't even call Matt to tell him the baby had been delivered until the next day when they were packing Julie's things up and just about to leave the hospital. Julie sat in the wheel cheer holding her baby, admiring everything about her precious little face, fingers, toes, nose… if she had one, Julie was admiring it. Her attention was rapt on the baby and she didn't even give half a thought to Aaron calling Matt until Aaron put the phone down and walked over to Julie, looking like the weight of the entire world had suddenly slipped off his shoulders.

  "What'd he say?" Julie asked almost absently.

  With a helpless grin, he leaned over her shoulder to gaze down at Alyssa as he informed her, "They're moving to New York. Emma got a job there… they're packing their stuff as we speak."

  Smiling a little to herself, she silently said a little note of thanks to Matt.

  Aaron took her hand, placing another kiss there and saying, "Thank you."

  A little startled, she said, "For what?"

  "For this," he said simply, indicating the little family he was now a part of.

  Smiling and leaning in to lightly nuzzle her face against him, she gave him a kiss and said, "Thank you. You're the one who came to my rescue; God only knows where I'd be without you."

  "You'll never have to find out," he promised her.

  She smiled contentedly then gazed down into the face of their daughter once more, overwhelmed with happiness and wondering what she had done right in life that she deserved so much love.

  Aaron took her hand once more and wordlessly slid a diamond ring onto the appropriate finger.

  Julie's eyes shot wide open and she turned to look at him in askance.

  Smiling a little ironically, he said, "This is not how I planned to do this, Julie, but… I have never loved you more or been happier than I am right now, and I can't imagine a more appropriate time to ask you to spend the rest of your life with me than this one."

  Grinning so big that it hurt, she said, "Like you even have to ask. Yes. Of course I'll marry you."

  He beamed right back, leaning in to kiss her. "You'll let me be your knight in shining armor for the rest of our days, huh?"

  "Absolutely. But I don't intend on you having to rescue me very regularly from here on out."

  With an ironic slant to his smile, he said, "What are you talking about? You're the one that saved me."

  "Aw, how sappy," she teased, leaning in to give him a lingering kiss.

  "Fatherhood has made me feel like my insides are all marshmallow," he confided. "I'm hoping they'll firm back up a little."

  "They will," she promised. "Right now you're just very swept up with our little angel."

  "How could I not be?" he asked rhetorically as he watched the baby yawn.

  "You have a good point," she stated. "In a way… doesn't this moment make all the other moments seem… kind of worth it?"

  "Tenfold," he replied without hesitation. "I only wish that I could have been the one to… really give you this."

  "As far as I'm concerned, you absolutely are," she informed him firmly. "Biology is only as important as you make it. I go to sleep in your arms every night and wake up next to you every morning; you are as much Alyssa's father as I am her mother."

  "And with Matt all the way in New York…"

  Julie shook her head. "It doesn't matter where he is, Aaron. I'm glad he's moving because it makes you feel better, but it doesn't matter to me, it doesn't matter to this family. From now on, it's just the three of us."

  "We could always adopt later if that's not enough," he suggested.

  Shaking her head with a fond smile, Julie said, "Let's cross that bridge when we get to it, hm? I, for one, am perfectly content with this perfect little angel. Are you?"

  "I've never been happier," he assured her solemnly.

  "Then that's all that matters," Julie stated, leaning in and stealing a light kiss from Aaron, then returning her attention to the perfect baby girl in her arms.

  Despite—or because of—all of the stupid little mistakes she made along the way, Julie Kingsley could not have been more content with where she ended up.

  After all, what more could a girl ask for than a happy ending?

  Epilogue-

  As the grandfather clock struck eleven, Julie glanced up at it, wondering when Aaron would ever get home from work.

  She needed to talk to him. She had even told him that when she talked to him on the phone before dinner. Then again, that was probably why he wasn't home yet, she thought with a private little smile. Even after four years of marriage, the man could not stand when she would break out, "We need to have a talk."

  Frowning, Julie thought she heard a noise coming fr
om the other room, and then she heard a very distinct thump.

  Narrowing her eyes, Julie left the living room and made her way down the hall, walking very softly as she approached the bedroom.

  Sure enough, a brown haired little sprite was peeking around her bookshelf when Julie peered inside the bedroom.

  "Alyssa Jane Turner," Julie said, her tone scolding. "What are you doing out of bed? Do you have any idea what time it is?"

  The six year old sighed then, giving up her hiding spot and said, "But mooooom."

  "No, get your little butt in bed right now before I tell your father."

  Instead of causing the little girl to jump into bed for fear of punishment, her little face brightened and she said, "Is Daddy home?"

  Sighing, Julie stepped further inside the room. "No, he isn't home yet. But you need to go to sleep right now, or you're going to be in big trouble."

  "But mommy, I want Daddy to give me a kiss goodnight," Alyssa said, the most adorable pout on her purposely sad face.

  "I will have Daddy come in and give you a kiss like he does every other night that he works late. Your antics will not work on me, Alyssa Jane."

  "My 'antiques' work on Daddy," the little girl muttered, reluctantly making her way back over to her bed.

  "That's because your dad's a big old softie. I, on the other hand, am not. Get in bed," Julie said, sticking her hand on her hip and raising one eyebrow in a very authoritative manner.

  The little girl obediently climbed into bed, but she made sure to be very noisy about it as she sighed and complained about not getting to see her father before she went to sleep.

  Julie walked over to the bed and leaned down, kissing Alyssa on the forehead. "Good night."

  "Mommy," the little girl said imploringly, just as Julie straightened to walk away.

  "Yes?" Julie said.

  "Will you tell me our story first?" Alyssa requested, offering an innocent little smile, her front tooth endearingly absent.