Make You Mine

by Francisco, Fabiola

  Positive.

  I’ll never forget the day my life changed forever. I’ll never forget the day my dream and hard work were discarded.

  My knee bounces in my seat as Eli drives me back to my place. We’re both silent, and I can’t look at him. I haven’t been able to look at him since the doctor asked me about my period.

  This makes no sense. I’m on birth control. I waited the seven days like my doctor instructed. If my memory were any good, I’d be able to count back in my calendar to make sure I didn’t make a mistake.

  Mistake.

  Oh no, I sure as hell made a mistake. A life-altering, permanent one.

  My God. What am I going to do? I’ll be home in a few minutes, and I’ll have space to think. I’ll run out and buy three more pregnancy tests and take them all. The doctor’s test could’ve been a false positive. That happens sometimes, right? Yeah, sure. That’s what this must be. An error.

  Eli parks in front of the bed and breakfast and looks at me. I see his narrowed eyes out of the corner of mine, but I refuse to make eye contact. This wasn’t supposed to happen. I was on birth control, damn it. I told him that. Is he going to think I did this on purpose? That I lied to him? He’s seen me take my pills.

  “Averly…”

  I close my eyes and shake my head.

  “Look at me.” When he reaches for my hand, I flinch. “Darlin’,” his voice is quiet, pained.

  I shake my head, this time, the tears are close to falling. Taking a deep breath, I say, “I need to be alone.”

  “But—”

  “No, Eli, I want to be alone. I can’t do this right now.” I shake my head, grabbing my purse from my lap.

  Before I can open the door, Eli’s hand is on my arm. “The hell you can’t. This is my problem, too.” His voice is louder now.

  I bite down and glare at him. For the first time in an hour, I look at his face. “Exactly. It’s a problem, and neither of us needs this kind of problem right now.”

  I swing the door open, despite his warning tone.

  “That’s not what I mean.” Eli is out of the truck and hot on my heels as I race around the bed and breakfast to my house. I unlock the door with a shaky hand, but I’m not fast enough. Eli is right there with me, demanding my attention.

  “I can’t do this,” I shake my head, turning around. “This isn’t part of the plan. This isn’t supposed to happen for another three years. I can’t have a baby right now.”

  “I know you’re scared, but we’ll work through this. I love you, and although this is unplanned, we can make this work.” His eyes are round as they plead with me.

  I shake my head. “I can’t have this baby. This isn’t what I want.”

  Eli’s face blanches. His voice drops to barely a whisper. “If you even consider that, it’s over,” he says, eerily calm.

  “I’m sorry,” I shrug.

  Eli spins on his heels and stalks away from me. I flinch when I hear the harsh slam of his car door as he peels away from the driveway.

  Numbly, I walk into my house and close the door. I look around at the home I love, the home Eli made possible, and my lower lip quivers. Tears stream down my face as a sob silently wracks my body.

  Maybe I can pretend this isn’t real. Sleep it off and wake up tomorrow, leaving this nightmare behind. My stomach coils as if on cue, and I run to the bathroom, dry heaving. Nope, I have a permanent reminder that I’m growing a human inside of me. No amount of sleep will change this reality.

  I slide onto the floor of the bathroom and bend my knees so I can hug them to my chest. Burying my face in them, I finally allow myself to feel something. Hot tears soak my pants until I feel as if there’s nothing left in me to give.

  When my eyes grow heavy, I sleep, even if it won’t change my situation.

  Banging on my front door jolts me awake. I untangle my body, letting my legs fall on the floor as my knees crack from being bent for who knows how long. I roll my neck as another loud knock hits the door.

  For fuck’s sake, don’t they get the hint that I’m not answering?

  “Averly, I know you’re in there.”

  My eyes fall closed, and I lean my head back against the bathtub. Poppy.

  She won’t stop until I answer, or she’ll find a way to climb in through the bedroom window. I don’t want to have to deal with broken glass if I can help it.

  I stand, stretching my sore body and stare at myself in the mirror. I lift my sweater and stand sideways. My stomach looks the same, no sign of a growing fetus.

  When Poppy bangs on the door repeatedly, I sigh and let my sweater fall. I swing the door open and look at her with raised eyebrows.

  “I was sleeping,” I say evenly.

  “Oh, I’m sorry.” Her eyebrows pull together, deepening the crease between them as she bites her lip.

  “It’s fine, I’m just sick.” I leave the door open and sit on the sofa.

  Poppy pinches her lips together, her fingers tangling and untangling each other. “I heard,” she grimaces and chews on her lower lip like an angry bear feasting on dinner.

  “What?” My nostrils flare.

  “Don’t get mad,” she begs as she moves to sit next to me, holding my hand. “Eli called me. He’s wild with worry. I also think he was crying… or drunk. Actually, I think he was both. I sent Harris to Clarke’s to see if he could get Eli home.”

  My eyes fall closed.

  “Talk to me.” Poppy’s soft voice usually helps me see reason, but right now I’m too mad at the world. How could I, Averly Cooper, certified planner and anti-risk-taker, be pregnant?

  “There’s nothing to say,” I bow my head in resignation.

  “Hey.” Poppy runs a hand down my back. “This isn’t the end of the world.”

  “It’s the end of my world. Poppy, you know how hard I’ve been working to make this bed and breakfast a reality. I can’t start this business pregnant, let alone taking care of an infant.” My words are agitated. The pumping in my chest feels like it’s going to rip through me any minute now.

  “Whoa. Hold on.” Poppy lifts her hand. “First of all, many mothers run their own businesses. You wouldn’t be the first. Second of all, you’re more driven than anyone I know. This won’t get in the way of owning your dream B&B.”

  “This is different than not getting approved for a loan. There are other banks to apply with. This is a human being, in my stomach,” I point to my belly. “This is not something I can put to the side and pick up later or something I can delegate to an employee.”

  “I know you can’t, but you can have other people help you manage the place. You’re going to hire employees anyway. I think this is a good thing.” Poppy folds her arms across her chest.

  “How can you say that?” I seethe, and my eyes widen in anger.

  “Because I think it’s good for you to let go of some of the control. You’re too obsessed with calling the shots, and you can’t do everything on your own. You’ll burn out before you even get this place off the ground.”

  I know that what she’s saying is true. I know I am going to have to eventually let someone else help me make decisions, especially if I want to have a life. Now, more urgently, if I’m going to have this baby.

  “Listen, I know this is a shock, and you don’t do well with things that are not written down in your life timeline, but some things are beyond our control. They’re planned from a greater power, and God knows what he’s doing.”

  I roll my eyes.

  “Don’t you dare roll your eyes at me, young lady. I’ll be… You better listen to me. This isn’t gonna ruin your life. I believe it’s a blessin’ in disguise, and you’ll realize that soon enough.” Poppy’s no-nonsense expression would be comical if I didn’t feel like shit.

  “You’ve been spending too much time with Harris. You’ve got a bit of a twang there.”

  “Well, I do live with him, and we’re going to get married.” She looks at me as if I’ve grown two heads.

 
“What? When?” I sit up, searching for a ring on her finger.

  “I don’t know, he hasn’t proposed yet.” I tilt my head and glare at Poppy. “But we’ve talked about it a lot,” she defends, lifting her shoulders. “Are you and Eli going to get married?”

  “What?” I squeak. “No.” I shake my head. “I think we broke up.”

  “What?” It’s her turn to yell. “That’s impossible.” Her eyebrows furrow in confusion as she leaps from the sofa and paces.

  “No, it’s not. We got into a fight. I told him I couldn’t have this baby, and he told me if abortion was even an option, then we were over.” Poppy’s eyes burst open, and she stops her incessant pacing to look at me. “He didn’t say the word, but I had insinuated, and so had he.”

  “Averly,” Poppy placates. “What are you going to do?” She moves to sit next to me again, her words softer this time as she holds my hand.

  “I don’t know,” I shake my head, a grim expression clouding my features.

  “My God, Averly.” Poppy gasps.

  “I don’t know, Poppy. I just don’t know.” More tears cloud my vision, and Poppy pulls me into a hug.

  “Just call me when you’ve made your decision. I’ll be here to support you in any way I can.”

  “Sure,” I nod my head against her shoulder, feeling desolate.

  Eli

  I huff out a growl as I race around the pen on Dash. The rain pelts down on me and rolls off my Stetson hat, but I don’t stop. I need to do anything that will stop me from breaking down Averly’s door and getting her to listen to me. It’s not the right way to approach this situation, but my patience is running out with every call she ignores and every unanswered message in the last few days.

  To rub salt into the wound, I’m meeting Finn this afternoon to look at an old barn he wants to restore. From the sound of our conversation, he has no idea what’s going on between Averly and me.

  “Agh,” I call out as Dash slides on the muddy ground. I slow him down and pat his neck.

  “Okay, boy, we’re done for today.”

  I guide Dash into the barn and check my phone in the tack room. Nothing. No contact from her in days. I shouldn’t have given her an ultimatum, but her hating the idea of having a baby with me so much that she’d consider such an extreme choice hurt too much.

  I love that woman. I’d do anything in my power to make her happy. So we hit an unexpected turn, it doesn’t mean we can’t be happy. It doesn’t mean we have to go separate ways because of this. I don’t want this to be the end of us.

  My fingers fly across my screen as I send Poppy a text message before making a run for the house to shower before meeting Finn. I’m hoping the rain slows down so we can meet without getting soaked.

  I run a hand down my face and take a deep breath when Averly’s scent assaults me as I step out of the shower. Her lavender body wash is still in the shower, the lid half-open. Every time the steam from the shower rises, it brings with it the lavender smell I’m so used to greedily inhaling on her skin. God, I miss her.

  The lit screen from my phone catches my attention as I rub my hair with the towel.

  Poppy: She’s miserable, stubborn but still pregnant

  I sigh in relief. When Averly made it seem like getting rid of the baby was a possibility, I had to storm out of her house before I cried like a damn fool in front of her. She has the power here, and I’m scared of what she’ll do with it.

  I try calling Averly again, but it goes straight to voicemail. Before I lose my mind, I grab lunch on the way to meet Finn. After, I’ll go see Averly and hope she’ll talk to me in person. I’ll stay outside of her house for as long as I have to if it means working this out. If it means having her in my life, kissing her and holding her and reminding her how much I love her.

  Ever since Averly came into my life, I knew winning her over her would be a fight worth struggling through. Just because I got her doesn’t mean I should stop fighting for her.

  …

  Finn has a very clear idea of what he wants to do with this old barn, so our meeting was quick. However, I’m still here looking over the structure and measuring the space. I need to make sure that the small house Finn wants to transform this barn into is possible without tearing it all down and rebuilding. Apparently, that’s not an option. Something about it being his grandfather’s favorite. I zoned out at some point, thinking about how long this would take before I could get to Averly.

  I’m inside one of the two stalls, checking the conditions of the wood when I hear tires crunching on the ground.

  I stop in my tracks when I see Averly’s small car parked a few feet away. She’s gripping the steering wheel and staring out at me through the windshield. I take a deep breath and walk toward her, praying to God she’s not here to break my heart.

  I notice her shiver before stepping out of her car and meeting me halfway.

  “Hi,” she breathes out.

  “Hey.” I tuck my hands into my pockets to stop myself from reaching out to her until I know why she’s here.

  My eyes flicker to her sweater and back to her face, my eyebrows quirking in confusion. She must notice because she looks down at the sticker with a tight smile.

  “I’m sorry,” she finally says. “I’m so sorry, Eli. I was an idiot, hence the sticker. Unfortunately, they don’t make cute, bachelorette name tags with the word idiot on it, so this name tag will have to do.” I zero in on the white and red name tag that says, “Hello, my name is” with the word “Idiot” handwritten in her neat print.

  I have so many questions, but she keeps talking.

  “I’ve been a mess. This whole situation has been a disaster, and I felt, feel, so helpless. I’ve never felt helpless before. I’ve always known what my next step is, and now I have no idea.”

  “That’s—” Averly shakes her head to stop me from continuing.

  “There’s no excuse for the way I acted. I was scared, and I didn’t want the baby,” she confesses. “I mean, sure, I always thought I’d be a mom, but not in the middle of starting a new business with a boyfriend I’ve only been with for some months. That’s not the way it worked in my mind. Until I started cramping, and I was so scared I was going to lose the baby. I’ve never felt fear like that in my life—”

  “What?” I choke out. “Are you okay? What happened? How’s the baby? Did you…” I can’t even finish that last question.

  Averly takes a step forward and places her hand on my arm. “Everything’s okay,” she nods. “It was minor cramping and some spotting, so I rushed to my doctor. She told me that it was normal in the first trimester, but regardless she made sure the baby and I were okay. I am pregnant, in case the test Doctor Bryant took could’ve been lying.”

  I exhale through my lips and run a hand down my face. “Goodness, Averly. Are you sure you’re okay?” My eyes narrow as I scan her face and move my gaze down her body. She’s not showing yet, but I stare at her belly as if I had X-ray vision that would show me the health of the baby and reassure me everything is okay.

  “I am,” she nods. “Except for the fact that I screwed up. I’m so sorry, Eli,” her voice cracks.

  “Hey,” I pull her body to me and wrap my arms around her. “It’s okay,” I murmur against her hair, running my hand up and down her back.

  “I was so scared,” she hiccups. “When I felt the fear of losing this baby, I realized I do want it. The timing sucks, but I don’t know… I’ll figure something out.”

  “We’ll.”

  “What?” She looks up at me with tears in her eyes.

  “We will. We’ll figure this out together.”

  “Really?” She blinks a few times, her lower lip quivering.

  “Yes,” I kiss her forehead. “Do you really think I don’t want to be a part of this?” I press my hand against her stomach. “A part of your life?”

  “Oh, thank God, because I have no idea what I’m doing,” Averly says as she releases a relieved exhale.

  �
��That makes two of us, but what I do know without a doubt is that I love you. You should’ve called me. I would’ve taken you to the doctor if you were in pain.”

  “I rushed out and left my phone at home in the midst of my panic. When I got back to the house, I asked Tim where you were. He told me you had a meeting here with my brother, so I grabbed a name tag, wrote “Idiot” on it, and came over.”

  I shake my head. “You’re not an idiot. Stubborn, yes” —I lift my brows— “but it’s one of the things that made me fall for you.” I brush my lips against hers. “Besides, you’ll always be Feisty and Frisky to me.” I wink.

  Averly laughs softly and buries her face into my chest. “I’m scared,” she whispers against me.

  “We’ve got this, darlin’.”

  “You’re so sure.” She steps back to look into my eyes.

  “I am because there’s nothing we can’t overcome together. You’ll continue to work on the bed and breakfast. You were going to hire a manager anyway, so we’ll make sure to hire the best one. Someone who you’d trust wholeheartedly to run things for a bit while you’re home with the baby.”

  “Poppy said this was a good thing for me to let go of control and count on other people.”

  “I agree with her.” I cradle Averly’s face. “You can’t control everything. Apparently, not even birth control,” a low chuckle leaves my lips.

  Averly glares.

  “Too soon?” I bite down my smile.

  “Yeah, but I love you,” she smiles, leaning up on her toes to kiss me.

  “I love you, too. Let’s get you home. It’s cold, and you’re not wearing a coat.”

  “Goodness, are you going to be one of these overprotective boyfriends who won’t let me do anything because of my condition? Because I won’t stand for that.” She jabs my chest.

  I grab her hand and tug her to me, kissing her deeply. I stare into her eyes once I leave her breathless. “I’ll do anything to make sure you’re safe,” I promise.

  Averly