Hatefully Yours

by Callahan, Kelli

  I’m going to do my best to live in the present—I really hope he can do the same.

  * * *

  Remington Global was a busy place, and it seemed like we got more work than we could handle on a daily basis. My days turned into a blur of being ignored by Trent at work and drowning my sorrows when I got back to my apartment every night. A week went by in a flash. I was drinking more than I did in college—which was the exact opposite of what I thought I would do when I finally got my degree and came face-to-face with the real world. The fantasy I had of a wonderful life in the city was replaced by the harsh reality of working for someone who seemed to absolutely despise my presence.

  I think he hates me more now than I did after I saw him with Keely.

  The letter I sent seemed to have ignited an angry fuse that had been burning for five straight years—and I felt like it was only a matter of time before the explosion went off in front of my face. He wasn’t interested in talking, and his callousness towards my existence got worse every time we were in close proximity. The others noticed, and a few comments were made, but they didn’t seem to know what to make of our bizarre dynamic. I was basically the black sheep of our group, and I even overhead Isabella ask Eddie how long he thought I would last before I got fired. I hadn’t done a damn thing wrong since I started working at Remington Global, but that didn’t seem to matter—I was being groomed for failure.

  “Time to go.” Eddie pushed his chair back.

  “Yep.” Isabella nodded.

  “Wait, where are we going?” I looked around in confusion.

  “Check your email.” She motioned to my computer. “Trenton sent us an invitation for a meeting.”

  “Oh, wow.” I leaned forward and clicked my mouse. “Wait… I didn’t get anything.”

  “You’re not on the list.” Gabe raised an eyebrow as he stood up. “I guess you weren’t invited.”

  “Weird…” Mel shrugged and walked towards the conference room.

  I watched as the rest of the team went into the conference room and debated if I should just follow them. Was I excluded intentionally? Was it a mistake? It was one thing to be ignored, but if he called a meeting with the entire team and left me out, then I was being completely ostracized. That was a whole new level of cruelty. Trent walked into the conference room, and once he started the meeting, I had my answer. If he had left me off the invitation by mistake, he would have rectified it immediately—but he didn’t even look in my direction.

  A lot of thoughts and emotions went through my head. I considered quitting—just saying fuck it and dealing with the consequences after I said my piece. I was contemplating taking an elevator to the top floor to see if I could get a meeting with Fulton. Surely, he didn’t know how I was being treated, and Remington Global had an open-door policy—I was technically allowed to speak to Trenton’s boss if I didn’t feel like I was being treated the fairly. The other option was human resources. I could explain what was going on and roll the dice on my future. Our company handbook said I wouldn’t be retaliated against if I addressed a concern with the HR department, but I wasn’t sure if that was true.

  It doesn’t matter what happened in the past. This is absolute bullshit—wow, I practically heard that in my father’s voice.

  I was still thinking about my options when the meeting ended, and the door opened. My co-workers returned to their desks, and they were buzzing with excitement over their new assignment. I wanted to sink in my chair—no, I felt lower than that. I wanted to crawl under my desk and hide until the office was empty, and I could run to my car. I promised myself that I wasn’t going to cry, no matter what kind of emotional toll it took on me. I wasn’t the same teenage girl that let Trent Rigsby reduce me to tears. I was stronger than that.

  “Brooke, can you come into the conference room for a minute.” Trent walked to the end of our aisle and motioned to me.

  “Uh…” I was startled by his presence, and the fact that he said my name—he never addressed me directly. “Yes sir.”

  “If you get fired, can I have your notepad?” Gabe rolled back and looked up at me. “I’ve almost filled mine up…”

  “What?” I blinked in confusion. “No!”

  “Now, Brooke.” Trent’s voice reflected impatience. “I don’t have all day.”

  “Coming…” I nodded and scurried towards the conference room with comments from my teammates echoed behind me.

  Am I really going to get fired? Is that what everyone thinks? I guess it would make sense at this point.

  My heart was beating hard in my chest when I walked past Trent. His ocean blue eyes looked like they were as ice-cold as the shoulder I had been getting from him—daggers that could pierce my flesh as easily as they could look at me. I sat down in the conference room and stared at my notepad. Gabe had already filled his up? I hadn’t been given enough information to fill more than a few pages. I tried to take notes in our meetings, but nothing ever seemed important enough to write down—even when I was included with the group, I normally got shitty assignments. I hadn’t done anything to warrant being fired because I hadn’t been given a chance to do anything that had real value.

  “I’m sure you noticed that you weren’t included in the meeting.” Trent sat down on the opposite end of the table—as far away from me as he could get without standing in the corner.

  “Yes sir.” I looked up at him and nodded.

  I can’t believe I have to address him so formally—like he didn’t set my heart on fire when I was fifteen—like I’m a casual stranger who never wanted to taste his lips.

  “There’s a reason for that.” He narrowed his dagger-eyes.

  “I figured there was…” I tried to hold it together.

  Don’t cry. If he fires you, don’t give him the courtesy of tears. Just get up and walk out of the room—then go straight to human resources.

  “I’ve decided to give you a special assignment.” Trent exhaled sharply. “It’s an important one, and I need someone I can trust to handle it.”

  “You—can trust me.” I nodded, but I wasn’t sure if my ears were actually hearing what my brain was processing.

  “Good.” He motioned to me. “You should probably write some of this down.”

  “Oh! Of course!” I clicked my pen and pressed it to the paper.

  I’m not getting fired! Maybe the guy I fell in love with is still underneath that calloused exterior—and maybe he still has a soft spot for me.

  Trent laid out a four part assignment, and the first part was due the next day. I had to do a good bit of research on a company that Remington Global was trying to land as a client and turn everything in by one o’clock. That seemed easy enough. I was still reeling over the fact that I wasn’t getting fired and was actually given a meaningful assignment by the time the meeting was over, but I made sure to write down every word Trent said.

  “Thank you. Thank you so much!” I looked up at him as he stood up to leave.

  “You can thank me by doing a good job.” The callousness was back, but I didn’t even care.

  “Yes sir.” I nodded quickly.

  I had a smile on my face when I left the conference room. My teammates obviously thought that wasn’t going to be walking out of the meeting with my head held high. Truthfully, I was more surprised than they were. I got started on my assignment immediately and didn’t even take a break before it was time for us to go home. I considered staying a little later than what was required for us to get paid, but I had made good progress, and I had plenty of time to finish everything before the deadline.

  Tonight, I’m going to have a celebratory drink instead of drowning my sorrows in a glass of something strong enough to numb the pain.

  * * *

  I was done with the assignment Trent gave me by eleven o’clock the next morning, but I decided to check over everything before I turned it in. Most of our assignments were simply turned in via email, but Trent asked me to put all of the research in a report folder so that i
t would be easier to share it with his boss. I even took it a step further and made multiple copies once I was done. At twelve-thirty, Fulton walked down our aisle, said hello to everyone, and then went into Trent’s office. I watched the clock tick away nervously. I wasn’t sure if I should interrupt them or wait—but missing my deadline seemed worse than interrupting them, so I gathered the copies I made and walked to the door.

  He said he wanted to share the information with Fulton, so maybe he’s actually waiting on me…

  It was almost one o’clock, but I didn’t want to knock in case they were discussing something important—other than my assignment. I peeked in the window and waited for them to notice me. Trent eventually did, and I held up the stack of reports to let him know why I was there. His expression soured immediately, and I wondered if I had made a mistake—but it was too late to rethink my decision because he motioned for me to come in.

  “I’m so sorry to interrupt, but I have the research you asked for.” I stepped into his office and smiled.

  “Ah, yes.” Trent nodded. “Your assignment.”

  “I made copies as well.” I walked over and handed it to him.

  “That took you an hour?” He flipped through the pages and then looked up at me.

  “I’m sorry?” I tilted my head in confusion.

  “I told you to have this to me by noon.” He glanced at the clock. “It’s an hour late.”

  “What?” I shook my head. “No, you said one o’clock—I’m on time.”

  “I wanted this research before my meeting with Fulton.” He motioned to his boss. “That meeting started at twelve-thirty. Why would I ask you to bring me the research when the meeting was almost over?”

  “That’s the entire reason I’m here.” Fulton nodded. “Obviously we won’t have time to review it now because I’ve got another meeting that I have to get to.”

  “I’ll look over everything and try to schedule something for tomorrow.” Trent glanced at Fulton and sighed.

  “But…” I looked at the both of them in confusion.

  “That will be all.” Trent waved me off. “We’ll discuss this later.”

  “You may want to have someone else take care of this assignment.” Fulton stared at Trent as he stood up. “I don’t have time to waste because your team can’t get their work done on time.”

  “I’m sorry, boss. It won’t happen again.” Trent didn’t make eye contact with me, but I could see his jaw tighten up as he spoke.

  My head spun with confusion as I walked back to my desk. I grabbed my notepad, looked at the notes I made from my meeting with Trent and confirmed that I wrote down one o’clock. There was no way I made a mistake that big. I was meticulous and didn’t miss a single thing he said to me. The harsh reality began to set in once some of the adrenaline wore off—I had been set up to fail.

  Trent gave me an important assignment and timed it so that I would look like an idiot in front of his boss. There was no other explanation, but I had no way to prove it. Trent wasn’t ready to move on and leave the past where it was. He had every intention of getting rid of me, and it was only a matter of time. It would be hard to argue my case in front of his boss or human resources with a Trent fuck up on my record.

  I’m on borrowed time, and Trent doesn’t even plan to play by the rules…

  Chapter Eleven

  Trent

  I thought that if I ignored Brooke, she would eventually realize she didn’t have a future at Remington Global. I couldn’t come right out and tell her that I thought she should quit—the company had a policy against encouraging people to give up—I was supposed to coach them to be better instead of pushing them out the door. I knew I was taking the cowardly approach to solving my problems, and it made me sick to my stomach, but there was too much at stake. Our past was tangled up in a bad memory, our present was becoming one, and I needed a future that didn’t include a constant reminder of my biggest regret in life.

  After Brooke came to talk to me in my office, I realized that ignoring her wasn’t going to work. She wasn’t the same girl I shattered when she caught me with her best friend. The hatred she had for me had dissipated over the years, and she wanted to find a way for us to work together—but I already knew that was going to be impossible. Every time I walked by her desk—every time I sat across from her in a meeting—the memories came flooding back. Getting rid of her was the only option I had, and if she wasn’t going to walk out on her own, then I had to do what was necessary to give her a shove in the only direction that was going to allow me to get those thoughts of out of my head.

  “Ready to look at the research?” I walked into Fulton’s office and tossed one of the report folders on his desk.

  “Sure…” He laughed and picked it up. “You got balls, Trenton. I gotta give you that.”

  “What do you mean?” I narrowed my eyes as I sat down.

  “Brooke wasn’t really late turning this in, was she?” He held up the report folder.

  “Are you questioning my integrity?” I flipped to the first page.

  “Of course I am.” He scoffed. “I saw the look on her face—that wasn’t the look of someone who was guilty.”

  “Fine.” I exhaled sharply. “Yeah, I set her up. You told me to do it the right way, didn’t you?”

  “I did.” He nodded. “How many times are you going to let her fuck up before you have security walk her out?”

  “Enough times to make sure HR isn’t crawling up my ass when she files a complaint.” I shrugged. “A few more mistakes should do it.”

  “You’ve put a lot of thought into this.” Fulton chuckled under his breath. “Good work—you’re going to fit in perfectly when you get that office on the top floor.”

  Yeah, but what is it going to cost me? I feel like I’m selling my soul to the devil right now.

  “Sorry I wasted your time yesterday—I just wanted a witness in the room when I delivered that low blow.” I sighed.

  “Don’t worry about it.” Fulton flipped through the pages. “I caught on pretty quick—I didn’t even have a meeting to get to.”

  “I figured that was the case. I don’t even know what you do up here when you aren’t riding my ass.” I laughed under my breath.

  “You’ll find out one day.” Fulton flipped to the next page in the report. “Damn, this is—really good work. She did a better job than some of the researchers that have been working here for years.”

  “Too bad she didn’t get it in on time.” I shrugged.

  Damn it; I’ve become an asshole just like Fulton…

  * * *

  The guilt ate away at me after I returned to my office. There was a piece of my heart that still beat for Brooke, even after I got her letter—even after five years passed without seeing her. I never really had to deal with my feelings after I left Cabot Beach for the last time. I thought about her every now and then, but my life was busy enough that I could always find a distraction when the memories came back. That was no longer an option, and any chance I had of offering a genuine apology for what happened the night of her graduation party ended when I set her up to blow the only opportunity I gave her since she started working at Remington Global.

  Fuck it; I’ve got to address the issue—even if it’s one that I made up.

  “Brooke, can you come to my office for a moment?” I walked to the edge of the aisle and motioned to her.

  “Okay.” Her voice sounded like it was laced with disdain—which I kind of expected.

  Despite feeling like shit, I had to keep up the charade in order to do what was necessary. I took the first step towards getting rid of Brooke, and there had to be a documented consequence for missing the deadline—otherwise, there would be questions I couldn’t answer when the last mistake was recorded in her file. Fulton was a witness, and he would have my back, but the paper trail had to be perfect. If she filed a complaint, our HR director would go over her file with a fine-tooth comb to make sure that we weren’t opening ourselves up to a
lawsuit. I didn’t know if Brooke would take it that far, but I had to be cautious.

  “Pretty big fuck up with that deadline, huh?” I sat down behind my desk and tried to keep an angry expression on my face.

  “If you say so.” She didn’t make eye contact.

  “I do.” I nodded. “I’m going to write you up for this, and if it happens again, we will be having a very different kind of conversation.”

  “If you want to fire me, why go through all the bullshit?” She straightened her spine. “Just do it—be a man and say that you can’t look at me without feeling guilty because you fucked my best friend.”

  She’s not going to make this easy…

  “This is about your missed deadline.” I narrowed my eyes. “What happened in the past has nothing to do with it.”

  “Sure.” Her voice was practically dripping with sarcasm. “Let’s just get this over with so I can go back to my desk—for however long it is my desk.”

  “Fine.” I opened her file, which I made just so I could put a discipline form in it and pulled out a piece of paper. “Sign this.”

  “If I don’t?” She snatched the discipline form out of my hand.

  “It doesn’t change anything. You still missed the deadline, and the form will remain in your file.” I leaned back in my chair.

  “I hope this makes you miss at least one wink of sleep—when you think about how much of an asshole you’ve become.” She grabbed a pen and signed the form so hard that she tore a hole in the paper. “Then again, I guess you always were an asshole.”