The Light to My Darkness

by Ivy Smoak

  Ian smiled. "That's the plan."

  "It'll be nice to have you back."

  "It'll be nice to be back."

  I glanced over at the buffet table where Jen was chatting with someone. The time to ask Ian was now or never. "I know Jen said you wouldn't want to, but I have to ask...because I miss you and our new driver is so formal and I feel like he doesn't like me..." I let my voice trail off.

  "Are you asking if I want my old job back?" He took a sip of his orange juice. It looked like he was studying me.

  "Yes. God, Ian, we'd love to have you back. But obviously if you and Jen..."

  "I've been waiting for the offer ever since we landed." He set down his cup and his familiar smile spread over his face. "Maybe Jen doesn't want me to work for you and James, but I've been on a few terrible interviews this week, and honestly, I couldn't imagine working for anyone else. I'd love to come back."

  I tried not to squeal. "You have no idea how excited I am. Although, breaking the news to William won't be very fun." I bit the inside of my lip. I had never fired someone before.

  "Hell, I'll break the news to him," Ian said with a laugh.

  I smiled. "Let's just let James do it when he gets back."

  "Let James do what?" Jen asked as she sat back down.

  "I'm going to let you two talk," I said and picked up my plate. I had a feeling Jen was going to be mad at me for offering Ian his old job back. They needed to talk it out between themselves without me butting in.

  I glanced around the restaurant to find another seat. Most of the people at the brunch looked as hungover as Jen. My eyes landed on Scarlett. She hadn't left Rob's side since last night. She was currently sitting on his lap, making it almost impossible for him to eat. Geez, Scar. I started to make my way toward them.

  "Hey, Penny!" Matt said, before I reached Rob's table. "I saved a seat for you." He patted the chair beside his.

  I turned my head toward my daughter. Now she was grabbing food out of Rob's hand. "I think I need to go save Rob from Scarlett."

  Matt laughed. "It doesn't look like he minds. Sit."

  I watched Rob laugh and try to steal his food back from Scarlett. Maybe Matt was right. "Okay." I hadn't really had a chance to eat anything. But that wasn't why I sat down. "When do you want to set up your online dating profile? We could do it today."

  He rolled his eyes. "I didn't mean right this second. Just like...soon."

  "You have no idea how excited I am about this."

  "Don't you have any other hobbies besides being a pain in my ass?"

  I laughed and lightly shoved his shoulder.

  "Are you going to eat those?" he asked and pointed his fork at my eggs.

  I slid my plate toward him. "They're all yours."

  "Aren't pregnant women supposed to eat tons?"

  "Yes. But we're not hungry this morning." I put my hand on my stomach. "No, that's a lie. We're hungry, but we want ice cream, not breakfast food."

  He laughed and shook his head. "Are you feeling better this morning?"

  "You know, I actually feel really good. I didn't sleep very well last night, but I still feel full of energy. It's weird. For the past several weeks I've actually felt kind of awful. But I'm good today. I feel like I could run around Central Park. And you know how much I hate to run."

  "You probably just needed a break from that," he said and pointed at Scarlett.

  I laughed. "No. Even when she's being a terror, I don't want a break from her."

  "Do you want me to come over today? I can entertain Scar while you get some rest."

  "No, that's okay. I want to have a girls day with her. I'm trying to trick her into liking me again."

  "She likes you," Matt said with a laugh. "She's just going through a phase."

  "You're just saying that because she prefers you over me. When she's a moody teenager and wants nothing to do with either of us, you'll see how I feel. I'm going to get going."

  "Call me if you want some company later." He leaned over and gave me a hug.

  "I will." I left him with my plate of food and made my way over to Scarlett. "Hey, Scar. You ready to get going? We have a fun day planned."

  "No, Mommy." She animatedly shook her head. "We're going to Uncle Rob's for a slumber party!"

  "We can take her if you want," he said.

  "That's okay, Rob. Scar, come with me. It's time to go." I put my hand out for her.

  "No," she said and stuck out her lower lip.

  I folded my arms across my chest and tried to give her a stern look. "Scarlett, you have to the count of five to come here." It was something James did with her when she was being stubborn.

  "No, Mommy, we have to go with Uncle Rob."

  I sighed. It worked when James did it. Clearly I didn't have the same air of authority.

  "We really don't mind taking her," Daphne said. "When was the last time you had a night all to yourself?"

  I hated nights all to myself.

  "I'll bring her by in the morning before work," Rob said. "It's fine."

  "Well, okay then. Are you sure, Scar? I had a fun day planned for us."

  "I'm sure. Mommy, you should come with us. It's safer."

  Rob raised both his eyebrows at me.

  I decided it was best to not acknowledge her comment. I leaned down and kissed her forehead. "Have a fun day, baby girl."

  "I will."

  And that was it. She turned away from me and started playing with the food on Rob's plate. "Thanks," I said to Rob and Daphne.

  Daphne was giving me that look. The one that meant she was concerned about me. But like I had said to Matt, there was nothing to be concerned about. I felt better than I had in days. Yes, my daughter didn't want to spend time with just me. But I was okay. I swallowed down the lump in my throat.

  I wandered over to Mason and Bee's table. "I'm going to get going," I said and leaned down to hug Bee.

  "So soon?" she asked. "We'll be here for at least another hour. Our flight isn't until noon."

  "Yeah, I need to get going." I didn't need to. But being here alone made me realize just how much weddings sucked when you were single. I didn't want to hang out anymore. I missed James. I just wanted to call him. "Have fun on your honeymoon, you two." I reached over and patted Mason's shoulder.

  "Oh, we will," Mason said.

  "Thanks for everything, Penny," Bee said. "Are you still going to grab my dress..."

  "I've got it all taken care of. Don't worry about a thing. See you guys when you get back. I can't wait to hear all about it." They were finally taking that trip to Italy. Originally Mason had planned to propose there. They were going to meet us on our honeymoon so that we'd all be able to celebrate together. But Isabella had foiled those plans. They had been sitting in a hospital on the day that Mason had planned out for months, waiting to see if James would come back to us. I was happy that they were finally taking the trip. Maybe one day James and I would finally get to go. We had never talked about recreating our honeymoon itinerary. Instead, we had gone to the Bahamas for a late honeymoon once he recovered. Italy was still highest on my list of places I wanted to see. But there was plenty of time. I truly did feel good. Healthy. My chest didn't hurt at all.

  I stepped outside of the restaurant and took a deep breath.

  "Penny!"

  I turned around to see the Caldwell brothers' father pushing through the doors. "Hi, Mr. Caldwell. Did I forget something? Bee's dress is already in the car. I was going to take it to get it preserved."

  "No, dear. You didn't forget anything." He reached into his pants pocket and pulled out his wallet. "I didn't know when the best time to bring this up would be, but I wanted to catch you before you left. Mason told me about your heart condition."

  That explained the look of pity he had given James at the rehearsal dinner. It had still been bothering me in the back of my head. Now it made sense. I thought maybe some business deal had gone south. I hated that people knew about my heart. But at least James hadn't
told him. He promised he wouldn't tell anyone else.

  "I wouldn't call it a condition. I'm fine. I was actually just thinking about how great I feel."

  "Good. But either way, I wanted to give you this." He pulled out a business card from his wallet and handed it to me. "I'm sure you're seeing a great doctor. But this is the number for my cardiologist. I can't recommend him enough. The man saved my life. I wouldn't be standing here today if it wasn't for him."

  I looked down at the card. "Thanks, Mr. Caldwell. But I really am good. There's nothing to worry about."

  "It never hurts to get a second opinion. Just think about it." He gave me the signature Caldwell wink that Mason and Matt did so often.

  I smiled. "Thanks. I will."

  "I should get back to the festivities. Take care, Penny." He gave me a quick hug and then disappeared back into the building.

  I looked down at the card again. Normally, thinking about my heart would make it hurt. But it didn't ache at all today. I stuffed the card into my purse and started walking home.

  Chapter 28

  Sunday

  I sighed and leaned back in my chair. The words weren't flowing today. All I could seem to do was stare at my clicking cursor. I turned off my computer and checked my phone for what felt like the hundredth time. James still hadn't called me back. His plane must have landed hours ago. I had called him a few more times this morning, but hadn't left any more messages. What was taking him so long to call me?

  My eyes wandered to the camera mounted in the corner of the room. It used to make me uncomfortable, knowing that our security detail could see me at all times. But James assured me that they didn't watch us when we shed our clothes. The cameras were just a precaution. After everything that had happened to us, James didn't want to take any unnecessary risks. And that meant putting cameras in every room, despite my insistence that I didn't want them. I begged him to at least not put them in the bathrooms or our bedroom. James' response to my request was that we had sex just as often outside our bedroom. Which was true.

  I clicked on Porter's name in my phone and held it to my ear.

  He answered after one ring. "Yes, Mrs. Hunter?"

  "Cole?" I knew he still preferred when I called him by his last name. But sometimes I just needed that sense of familiarity. And whenever I called him Cole instead, he knew something was bothering me.

  "Is everything alright, Penny?"

  I smiled at him calling me by my first name. "When did James' plane land?" I heard the shuffling of papers.

  "At 8:51."

  I bit the inside of my lip. That was hours ago. "Do you know what his itinerary is?"

  "He just said it was business."

  "Could you call Briggs and see if James is available for a call?"

  Porter cleared his throat. "Briggs is with me."

  "Briggs didn't go with James?" For some reason, I was starting to feel uneasy. James knew how I felt about him traveling without a member of our security detail.

  "Despite my requests, no. You know how Mr. Hunter is."

  I sighed. I did know. He worried about his family when he went away on business. He wanted to keep Scarlett and me safe, even though it put him at risk. "Do you think maybe we should hire one more person?"

  "I think that's a great idea. I'll pull some resumes of recommendations and bring them to you tomorrow."

  Over the past few years, the members of our staff had gotten used to catering to my requests. I cringed at the fact that I had used the term staff. They didn't feel like staff to me. They felt like family. I relied on them endlessly. Originally, I hadn't been able to ask them questions without them skirting around the answers. Apparently because of James' high standards and odd rules about what I was allowed to know. But now they let me make decisions as if I was an extension of James.

  "Do you want me to try to call him?" Porter asked.

  "No, I'll just keep trying."

  "Alright. Is there anything else you need?"

  I looked up at the camera and then quickly turned away. I was embarrassed by what I was about to ask. "Actually, yes. Could you maybe check Scarlett's room for snakes?" A part of me thought that maybe that was why I couldn't focus on writing. I was worried a snake was going to come out of nowhere and bite me.

  "Snakes?"

  "She's been obsessed with them after seeing this Harry Potter movie. And I knew we shouldn't have let her see it. But now she won't stop talking about snakes."

  "Snakes huh? I thought she'd be more of a bunny collector if anything."

  I laughed. "I know. But she has this strange fascination with them. And she keeps saying they're going to take me away."

  "What do you mean by that?" There was suddenly a sense of urgency in his voice.

  "That they're going to kill me, I guess? I don't know. She keeps saying stuff like that to me and it's freaking me out."

  There was a knock on the front door. I slowly stood up and ended the call. I knew it was Porter. A few seconds later, I opened up the door for him, even though I knew perfectly well that he had a key.

  "I'm sure she doesn't have any hidden snakes in her room. Kids and their imaginations." He winked at me. "But let me check it out just in case." He had winked. And he had smiled. But his expression was serious even though his tone wasn't. He was suddenly ready to get down to business. And that made a world of difference to me. He didn't laugh at me or call me crazy. He took the threat seriously. Because it was his job to keep my family safe. If he said that the upstairs was all clear, I'd believe him.

  I wandered into the kitchen while Porter checked Scarlett's room. It was easy to get lost in writing about memories like they were currently happening. And even though I wasn't being as productive as usual, I had completely lost track of time. It hadn't just been hours since James had landed. It had been almost exactly eight hours.

  I tried not to let myself worry. Worrying never helped anything. He was probably just in meetings all day. "I know I promised you ice cream, little man," I said and opened up the freezer, trying to distract myself. I pushed a few things aside and frowned. No ice cream? How was that possible? I shoved a few more things to the side and sighed. Now that it wasn't an option, I was desperately craving it. Sorry, baby boy. I stared at the contents of the fridge, but nothing else looked appealing. Maybe I was just thirsty. I opened up the cabinet to grab a glass and saw a note from Ellen on the counter, sitting in front of my bottle of vitamins.

  Penny,

  When I unpacked your suitcase, I didn't see your pill holder. I'm so sorry, but I must have accidentally put it in James' suitcase. It was a careless mistake and I'm very sorry. It won't happen again. I do hope you two had fun at the wedding.

  My apologies,

  -Ellen

  I shook my head as I poured myself a glass of water. Did she really think I'd be upset with her? I had forgotten them too. I unscrewed the cap and took six instead of two, to make up for the missed days, and swallowed them down with a huge gulp of water. Ugh. I hated these pills. I couldn't wait until I was allowed to go back to my daily gummy vitamin. Scarlett had gotten me hooked on them. They were fruity and delicious and probably everything a vitamin shouldn't be. But it got her to take them.

  "If she's hiding snakes it must be under the floorboards," Porter said.

  I jumped. I hadn't even heard him walk down the stairs, let alone into the room. "Thanks for looking."

  "I'll call an exterminator in the morning just in case. They can probably check it out better than I can. I really don't know a thing about snakes."

  I breathed a sigh of relief. I'm glad he was taking me seriously. "That would be great."

  "Where is Scarlett right now?" he asked.

  "She's spending the night at Rob and Daphne's. Apparently she didn't think I was capable of protecting her from the snakes." I laughed awkwardly.

  He gave me a tight-lipped smile. The same kind of smile that Mr. Caldwell had given James. The same smile that people gave me when they found out about m
y heart murmur.

  "Maybe that's for the best. I know she usually sleeps in your bed when James is away, and I was just about to advise you against it."

  Whenever James was away on business, I always forced our daughter to sleep in his spot. I didn't need to be embarrassed. Porter had cameras everywhere. He knew I didn't like to sleep alone. But I still felt a blush cross my cheeks. "Why were you going to advise against it?"

  "In case she's planning something."

  I laughed. "Planning something?"

  "It would have just been a precaution. But we don't have to worry about it now."

  Now. Because my daughter refused to be alone with me because she was scared I couldn't protect her. I pressed my lips together. "Okay. But she gets scared when James isn't home. She's probably going to call in the middle of the night for me to come get her. And then she's going to try to crawl in my bed regardless."

  "So, we'll lock her door."

  "Lock her up?" I laughed again. "She's not a criminal. Besides, you know how good she is at opening locked doors."

  Porter shrugged. "Just be careful until the exterminators come. And let me know if she does call tonight. I'll escort you to Rob's to get her. Is there anything else you need tonight?"

  This conversation was ridiculous. But not because of the snake part. Because there was literally no chance Scarlett would call me in the middle of the night if she was scared. I needed to hear James' voice. He always knew exactly the right thing to say to me. "Could you maybe call James real quick? To see if he answers? I've been trying to call him all day."

  "Of course." Porter pulled out his phone, clicked on a few buttons and put it to his ear. "Good evening, Mr. Hunter." Silence. "Yes, everything is fine." He gave me a smile. "Mrs. Hunter just wants to talk to you." Silence. "Very well. Goodnight, Mr. Hunter."

  I reached out for the phone, but Porter pulled it from his ear and then hung up. I blinked. "Did he not realize I was standing right here?"

  "He's in a meeting. He said he'll call you as soon as it's finished."