Well, that level of honesty sure as shit didn’t work. Maybe he should have told her he wasn’t jealous at all. But she would have seen the truth through an obvious lie. At least, he thought she would. He thought she understood exactly how he felt.
Maybe she just wasn’t ready to handle that.
5
Zellendine
Troylus just had to drop all pretense of talking about fun other things and throw a big black hole into the middle of their conversation. He was so damn serious, and she could barely keep focused on the importance of not bumping into the strangers all around her. How did he expect her to be able to respond coherently?
Was she just supposed to admit that she wasn’t sure she wanted to partner with Briar anymore and she wasn’t going to unless she was sure? Part of her wanted to tell Troylus that, but most of her was afraid he wouldn’t just let that be enough. And she wasn’t one hundred percent sure she wanted more with him either.
How had everything grown so complicated? It was supposed to get simpler on the planet, but she was starting to doubt that would be the case. For now, all she could do was keep her focus on this next problem, this next step. And try not to trip and fall.
People were everywhere in the hall. Their constant presence made the walk take longer than it ever had before. Finally, they reached the clinic and walking in the door to the familiar space allowed her to take a deep breath.
Usually, there weren’t people waiting at this hour. During regular shifts, someone would only be on duty in case they were needed. Now, every seat in the front was full and there was a general hum from the exam rooms surrounding the center as if most of them were full.
Zellendine started to reach for Troylus’s hand, looking for an anchor in all the differences around her. At the last second, she pulled it back to her side. Even though she knew no one around her, it wouldn’t be smart to break protocol in front of them. She would have to remind herself of the near constant nature of eyes now that everyone was awake.
Stephen popped his head out of a doorway and waved them forward, Zellendine saw at least one person look irritated that they were called back after just getting there. But no one knew what the medics really did unless they were assigned to a medic crew, so they didn’t voice their complaint.
“Is it going to be like this until we land?” Troylus asked, his voice tinged with a growl as he shut the door behind him.
“Like what?” Stephen asked, tapping away at a holo and getting the supplies he needed together.
“He means the overcrowding,” Zellendine said, earning her a look and raised eyebrows from Troylus. She gave him a small smile and shrugged. Yes, she did understand at least that much of what he was thinking.
“Oh, well, yes. It was always going to be tight for this month while everyone is awake. Which is part of why I’m looking forward to the reports from terraforming on how long they think they’ll need to work before we will all be able to land.” Stephen turned back to them and smiled at each of them.
“You think we might have to spend more time on board waiting?” Zellendine didn’t want that to be the case, how many more people were going to get into fights with everyone squished together, impatient, and whatever trigger was happening to the people with the silver eyes.
“It’s possible, but it will probably just be you and me waiting. Troylus here will be one of the first people to step foot on our planet.” Stephen was in medic mode, tapping his holo and attaching scanners to Troylus’s hand.
Zellendine knew it was a possibility that a year would pass between the first Spindle landing on the planet and when the rest of the Spindles would transport the majority of the population to the ground. But her mind managed to suppress the idea of an entire shift away from Troylus until right that moment.
Troylus bit his lip and furrowed his brow, turning to stare at the wall instead of looking anywhere near her face. She wasn’t sure what that meant about his feelings on the possibility. She was going to have to ask him.
A lump formed in her throat.
Stephen stepped back from Troylus, his eyes never leaving his holo as he tapped out commands and his face grew increasingly pinched.
“Will that thing really tell you what caused this?” Troylus asked, waving a hand toward the medic holo.
“Hmmm,” Stephen muttered, not answering his question and making the lump in Zellendine’s throat drop into her stomach.
“Is that noise bad?” Troylus asked, leaning forward and finally making eye contact with Zellendine while she tried to make her face as impassive as possible.
“Dad?” she asked, not wanting to play the protocol name game and waste time as he was more likely to respond if she didn’t call him Stephen. Sure enough, he popped his head up and looked back and forth between her and Troylus.
“Ah, I’m sorry. I was too focused. I’m not sure yet if the readings will tell me the cause, but they might. For now, all I can say is that it is very clear this isn’t just your eyes anymore.”
Troylus’s eyebrows shot up and his mouth worked like he was trying to say something, and the words failed him.
Zellendine wanted to sit in the chair behind her, to allow her legs to just give out. Instead, she stepped to Troylus’s side, slipping her hand into his.
“What do you mean it isn’t just his eyes?” she asked. Her voice was quiet, but it jolted Troylus. He jumped and squeezed her hand while he shut his eyes.
Stephen raised his eyes and paused his tapping, looking at them both in shock, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. You’re okay.”
Troylus slumped into her side and Zellendine leaned back against him dragging a harsh breath into her lungs.
“What I mean is that there is now a silver line around every one of your blood cells and I can see that there is a new line of DNA here that didn’t exist there before,” Stephen said, turning the holo so Zellendine and Troylus could see it, although she didn’t think he knew what any of the charts on it meant.
“If my DNA is all the sudden different, what does that mean health wise for the future?” Troylus asked, looking at the holo like he would find the answer to all the questions in the universe within it.
“Actually, this seems to improve your chances for good health long term, your telomeres are longer than they used to be.” Stephen tapped at the holo and the image of the lengthened telomere was clear side by side with the image of his old one.
“Zellendine?” Troylus asked, looking to her with a nod of his head toward the holo.
“They can be seen as one of the markers suggesting a long life. The longer they are, the longer a person often lives,” she said, her voice weak as she tried to imagine what his extraordinarily long ones would equate to in years.
“Oh, okay.” He relaxed a bit and then tilted his head to the side studying her. “What’s the matter?”
“Nothing,” she said, too fast. Her answer was too fast and too dismissive, she knew it by the narrowing of his eyes and the thinning line of his mouth.
“Stephen,” she said, maybe she could distract him, and herself, by barreling ahead, “You said there’s a whole new section of DNA? How is that possible?”
“That I don’t have an answer to yet. I need to spend some time with this information, to check all of it and compare it to the base readings for him.” He stopped to yawn, his jaw popping it opened so large.
Zellendine yawned back, and Troylus put a hand to his mouth like he was fighting off one of his own.
“First, I think we need to head to quarters and get some rest,” Stephen said.
She waited until Troylus nodded to agree herself. If he wanted more answers right at that second, she would have argued for it on his behalf. This was his genetic makeup, his confusing ability and changed anatomy. She wasn’t going to try and tell him it wasn’t important, but he seemed to be lost in his head over what they had already learned. But maybe, she thought, that was projection on her part.
6
Tr
oylus
He wasn’t sure which was worse, the fact that he was so fundamentally changed when he didn’t feel any different, or the fact that Zellendine seemed unnerved by all of it.
But he knew he didn’t trust any of the people on board to not be set off simply by her being around just like he used to be. Her touch, comforting as it was, still sent his blood hotter through his veins. He still had a physiological reaction to her presence, like she was a sun and he was a planet in her orbit.
Part of him wanted to know if he would feel anything like that without the changes, but he enjoyed it too much to wish it away. As hard as it was at first, as much as he had raged at her because of it in the beginning of his changing eyes, now it was one of the best things about his life.
“Stephen,” Troylus said as they exited the clinic, Zellendine’s steps slowing next to him as she wilted under the exhaustion of coming out of stasis, “I’m going to go with you both to your quarters just to make sure neither of you fall asleep in the hallway.”
“I’m not going to fall asleep,” Zellendine said, managing to sound more awake when she was indignant than she had before.
He grinned while Stephen gave a soft smile.
“That’s appreciated, Troylus. Are you sure you will have no trouble returning to your own quarters?” He stepped forward, leading them so other people could pass, but he tilted his head a bit so Troylus knew he was still listening.
“Yes. I don’t know if it’s part of all of this, but I am less tired right now than I think I ever have been right after waking up.” He shook his head. That didn’t make any sense, but it was the truth, and another sign that none of this was normal.
“Okay, well, if you need help, the stasis crew should be available to get you to your quarters.” Stephen faced entirely forward then, his feet slowing just a bit more.
Zellendine dropped a step behind, her blinks growing longer.
“Nope,” Troylus said, scooping an arm behind her back and picking her up to pull her closer to him.
She let out a quick, sharp yipe sound.
“Put me down.” Her voice was a whisper, but it was weighted, like it was made of metal.
“I am not going to let you fall asleep, or fall behind, especially when it seems like there are more silver eyed people wanting to kill you by the minute.” Troylus answered her with the same steel in his hushed words.
“Fine,” she said, stomping forward, getting in front of him and almost catching up with her dad.
Good. A pissed off Zellendine was a safer Zellendine, and that was all he cared about.
They finally reached their quarters and Troylus realized he hadn’t planned this far ahead. He wasn’t sure how to say ‘see you later’ when he didn’t want to. They would never have to go into stasis again. He would never have to think about the reality of being away from her for one hundred years again. Yet they only had a month before he was leaving for the planet, a month that could be followed by a year apart. A year he would feel every second of if they were apart.
It felt cruel. Time was cruel.
Stephen opened the door, looked back at Troylus, and said, “I’ll look through all of this and get it back to you,” before he went inside, leaving the door open wide.
Two people were asleep in the bunks, their shoes lined up at the foot of the beds.
“Well,” Troylus said, rubbing the back of his neck and wondering why he was suddenly far more uncomfortable than he had been. “If you have any issues with your new bunk mates, like I said, the offer still stands. I’m sure you’re fine for tonight, but in the morning.”
He rambled. His mouth wanted to be moving, but it sure as hell didn’t want to be talking. He couldn’t bring himself to speak normally. What an idiot. Okay, shut up, he told his brain, barely managing not to say it out loud.
“I’ll keep that in mind,” she said and stepped past him toward the door, skimming her fingers along his hand as she passed.
On the other side of the door, she grabbed the edge of it and leaned into it, looking back out into the hallway. Her face smoothed into an impassive mask, clear of anything that would help him understand if she found the revelations about his DNA too much now.
He stayed still until the door was shut, Zellendine on the other side.
Walking to his own quarters, he realized that he wasn’t sure what he was going to tell Rullon about what had just happened, why it took so long for him to get back to bed. Was his dad worried? He wasn’t sure, but he hoped not.
His own quarters were dimmed as he opened the door, two of the bunks had their curtains closed, but the lights were still low.
Rullon sat at the table, his head on one hand, his eyes flying open as Troylus walked inside.
“Are you okay?” Rullon whispered, although with his voice it sounded more like a ball bearing was off in one of the central rotator’s joints.
“Yeah, sorry. One of the fights was someone going after Zellendine and that was after Briar almost attacked her.” Troylus dropped into the chair across from Rullon and rubbed his hands over his face.
His dad simply sat. Still and patient for news he knew Troylus was keeping, for news that Troylus still didn’t understand how to say.
“Listen, I need to talk to you, but not tonight.” Troylus gestured with his head toward the bunks and whoever was behind the curtains.
“Yep. I’m sacked. I’ll see you in the morning,” Rullon said, pushing on the table to get up, leaning closer to Troylus as he did.
“There’s food in the server for you, one of the girls in the bunks went and got it for all of us, as a get to know you present.” Rullon shook his head and went to lie down.
For him to so pointedly mention that they shared a space with girls made Troylus cough into a fist so he wouldn’t burst out laughing. It wasn’t that long ago, if he didn’t count the years in stasis, that they shared their quarters with his sister. And they shared for years with his mom.
Why would girls being present make him so on guard?
A question for another day, Troylus decided, as he moved on to the server to see what kind of food these new people in his life liked to eat.
7
Zellendine
She slept long past the chime calling for her to get up and get to the clinic. Some part of her brain was telling her to wake up, that it was time to start the day, but her body was beyond any level of exhaustion that she had known before.
By the time she was heading to the clinic to get the all-clear to start getting to work doing the checkups on others, the hallways were like navigating an asteroid belt. There were blocks in her way everywhere. They were human shaped and more than a little grumpy.
Some were carrying sacks of food for their servers while they waited for their turn in the clinic and their turn to get back to work.
When they were in classes as young children, they were told how many people were aboard, they were told how many different settlements there would be on the planet one day. Somehow, she was still unprepared for the level of crowding when everyone was awake.
The most frustrating part was how slow the throng moved. Why would more people in a space, everyone trying to get somewhere, mean that everything slowed? She shook her head as she finally walked into the clinic.
At least in here there were less people, only emergencies, those who needed medication for their time awake, and medics, were at the clinic for that day, and she was thanking the stars for that fact as she walked right back to find her dad.
He was tapping at a holo, the line between his brows showing, and his focus solely on the work in front of him.
“Stephen, could you give me the check?” she asked, coming up next to him and looking over his shoulder at the reports about Troylus.
The image on the holo made her suck in her breath.
Not only was there a whole extra part to Troylus’s DNA, but there was a letter there, a representation of a new building block of DNA, entirely different from what she had ever se
en before.
“How is that possible?” she asked, her voice barely audible.
“I don’t know for sure, but look,” he said, tapping on something that brought up a section of cells that looked suspiciously like it had been zapped with radiation.
“Does that mean what I think that means?”
“Radiation. In massive levels focused on one or two small sections. And by small, I mean only a handful of cells. Also, there is something here,” he said, tapping another section and bringing up an image of Troylus’s brain which had some activity in a section they never saw have activity.
“What in the stars does that mean?” she asked, looking at her dad, her mouth hanging open.
“I have no idea. I’ve never seen anything like it. It shouldn’t even be possible. And I have his information. I even checked it against the scans I did when his eyes first started turning. It’s part of his current file because it isn’t supposed to change. What am I supposed to do with this? Save it in here? But then someone would wonder what the hell it even is.” Stephen rubbed at the line between his brows, his mouth in a thin line.
“Hide it,” she said, her voice too low for anyone else to hear.
“Excuse me?” he asked, opening his eyes and looking at her sidelong.
“Delete it. Pretend it was a misread. Nothing good can come of it.” She was about to grab the holo from him and do it herself. After what she knew about the evil program in the mechanical wombs, she didn’t trust that something wouldn’t flag Troylus’s test results and something wouldn’t happen to him. She still didn’t know if anyone on board knew and approved of what was happening in the wombs.
“Zellendine, if I do that, we will likely never be able to tell Troylus where this is coming from or how to stop it from turning more eyes silver around here.” Stephen leaned in closer with every word, his eyes hard and his mouth not lessening in its rigid line.
The Spindle Page 3
