by Goode, Ella
“Maybe it was half empty before I got here,” I toss back, not wanting to think about Carter doing anything nice for me right now. I want to stay mad at him for a little longer.
“Su-re.” Aly rolls her eyes before she jumps up onto the island in the middle of the closet. She makes herself comfortable and dumps all of the swimsuits out of her bag. “Tell me what Carter did that got his ass tossed into the pool.” Her eyes light up. “I bet there are cameras on that pool! We could watch it in slow motion.” She snickers. I bite my lip to keep from laughing with her. “I’m teasing. I just wanted to get you to smile so you’ll cough it up.”
“He tried to pay me to live here,” I admit. I look down at the swimsuits she dumped out. His words make me feel cheap and dirty. “My mom's boyfriend tried to offer me money too at one point. I left to get away from that but I’ve obviously walked into the same situation.” I look up at Aly.
“Pay you for sex?!” Aly jumps off the island.
“No!” I grab her before she can go push Carter back into the pool. “To live here. He didn’t say we had to have sex.”
Aly stands there for a moment staring at me. The anger melts from her face as a small smile forms on her lips. I don’t get what she’s smiling about. She looked like she wanted to kill Carter a few seconds ago.
“He doesn’t know any other way.” I still don’t understand what she’s getting at. “I mean, Carter lives a lonely life. We can all see that.”
I nod in agreement. It didn’t take me long to understand that about him. I’m not sure Carter even knows that he’s lonely. If you’ve never had something then you can’t miss it. I think that’s the case with Carter. He’s never put himself out there to have a relationship that meant anything. Whether it be a friend or something else. That thought has a little jealousy sprouting inside of me.
“Think about it. This is how he grew up.” She motions with her hands. “You want something you buy it. It’s all he knows. It’s all he’s ever known.” She gives a small shrug. “I mean that’s sad but if you think about it, he’s trying to keep you and he’s doing it the only way he knows how. He doesn’t even know he’s being a dick.”
“I hadn’t thought of it like that.” He isn’t pushing for sex. When I put space between us he gave it to me. I’ve even watched him have the battle with himself over it. His fingers have itched to touch me. I have to admit that I’ve wanted that touch. It scares me so much. To know it and then to lose it would be devastating.
“Well, maybe the push in the pool helped give him a reality check. If not, Owen might be giving him one.”
Carter might be an asshole at times but I think Aly might be right. I need to remember that he’s been so understanding of my situation and where I’ve come from that I should do the same to his. Oh, his life might be a whole lot nicer, but I’m sure it still comes with its own scars.
“Let’s find our suits.” I rip open one of the bags Carter got me.
Aly bursts into laughter. “That’s something an old lady would wear.”
I open another bag and it’s worse than the one before it. Tears of laughter stream down her face. I can’t help but laugh along with her.
“So glad Owen didn’t pick out or see my swimsuits. I would have ended up with one that looks like a granny suit also.” She wipes the tears from her face. “Here. Pick one of mine.”
I can’t help but giggle again. I cannot believe the swimsuits he picked out for me. “This one should fit.” I hold up a white two-piece.
“Let’s do this,” Aly agrees as we put on the suits. “Got a robe? I want to make it to the pool before Owen tries to cover me in his shirt or something.” I go into the bathroom grabbing mine to give to her. It’s then I notice how mine hangs next to Carter’s. It is as though I’m already living here.
“You not putting one on?” Aly asks.
“Nope.” Not after the old lady swimsuits he got me.
Aly gives an evil smile. “This is going to be wonderful.”
I’m not sure how this night will turn out but I wasn't expecting it to end with the cops showing up.
Chapter 19
Carter
I didn’t hear the sirens. The music was too loud. Plus, two hundred seniors and a few underclassmen were noisy enough to drown out an airhorn so I was surprised when our butler, Felton, found me standing by the edge of the pool trying to block the rest of the class from looking at Mallory’s nearly naked body.
The butler draws me aside. “Sir, there are officers here to see your guest.”
My eyes fly to Mallory, who is in a splash fight with Aly. Look at me, learning people’s names. I give myself a brief pat on the back before turning to Felton.
“How’d they get past the gates?”
Felton clears his throat. “They were open for all the guests.”
We survey the rowdy crowd in unison. A couple of the tables have been tipped over. Someone has broken off the arm of one of Dad’s statues. There’s more beer on the tiles than in anyone’s stomach and so many people have had sex in the hot tub that the thing is going to have to be drained and disinfected with industrial bleach. Or maybe we should just tear out the tile and start over.
“Remind me to never host another party, Felton,” I say as I walk over to grab my hoodie. It’s cold outside of the water. Whoever thought a pool party in fucking January made sense needs his head examined.
“Noted, sir. Should I call your father?”
I check the time. It’s nine here so it’s four in the morning over there. Dad’s not going to be awake for another two hours. Besides, I’m an adult with a fat bank account. I can figure this out.
“Nah. I’ll deal with it.” I start for the house.
“Very well. I’ve placed the officers in the library and—“ He stops short and so do I. The officers have wandered out of the library and are standing on the terrazzo tiles of the back sundeck overlooking the pool. My mind flashes to the beer and possible weed that is being consumed below. I don’t love these classmates of mine, but no one is getting arrested at one of my parties.
I charge up the stairs. “May I help you?” I strive for pleasantness.
“How old is everyone here?”
“This is private property. Do you have a warrant to search the place? Because, if not, I think you should leave.”
The tall, gaunt officer who looks like he stepped out of a Tim Burton animation pulls a piece of paper from his breast pocket and flicks it in front of my face. “We have a warrant for the arrest of one Mallory Simmons. We have information that she is being harbored here.”
I snap to attention. No one is taking Mallory from me, particularly not the police. “I don’t know who you’re talking about. No one by the name of Simmons lives here. It’s my dad and me and my cousin.”
“Ms. Simmons is a dangerous runaway who has stolen thousands of dollars. For your own safety, it’s best if we take her off your hands.” The shorter one begins to move.
Felton steps up to block his way.
“Like I said, no one here goes by that. I’m going to ask you to leave,” I say, still trying to be nice because they have guns and Mallory’s in danger and I don’t want anything sick to happen because the cops are trigger happy.
“The school said that there was a new student that enrolled this week by the name of Mallory.”
A cold chill runs down my spine. These guys have been doing some leg work. “Yeah, and did you check her last name? It was the same as mine.”
“Let’s see some identification for your cousin then.”
I hold out my arms. “Dude. I’m having a party to celebrate the team’s championship win. Our fourth in a row. Maybe you read about it in the papers. Does it look like I’m carrying around my cousin’s ID?”
The Tim Burton character peers over his large beak of a nose. “We can wait while you get it. In the meantime, is that beer I smell?”
“Is that a lawsuit I smell?” I fire back. “Felton, get Baker and Baker o
n the phone. It looks like we have an abuse of power suit on our hands. What are your badge numbers?”
The threat of a lawsuit wipes the smugness off of Tim Burton’s face. “Fine. But we want Mallory. Give her up and none of your friends get charged with underaged drinking.”
“What’s going on here?”
I turn to see Aly and Owen standing right behind me. “Nothing. Go back to the party.”
“You two know of a Mallory Simmons?” interjects Tim.
Aly shakes her head. “We have a couple of Mallorys in our class. Mallory Ponds and then Carter’s cousin. She just started school last week.”
Tim pulls out a picture and shoves it in Aly’s face. “You recognize this girl?”
My heart starts pounding. The photo is clearly of Mallory. Her hair is pulled back into a ponytail and she’s wearing red lipstick but it’s her all right. A few more students have come up the hill to the sundeck. They start passing the photo around.
“No. Never seen her before,” says Aly.
“Doesn’t look familiar,” Owen adds.
One by one the others chime in that the person in the photo is unknown to them.
Tim grows frustrated. His eyes scan the crowd and stop at a figure standing at the edge of the pool. “Her. Who is that?”
My heart’s in my throat by now so I can’t answer. Beside me, Felton has turned into a frozen statue.
“Oh that’s Carter’s cousin, Mallory,” Aly replies. She waves Mallory up to join us.
“What the hell are you doing?” Owen mutters under his breath.
Same, Owen. Same. My fingers turn ice cold. I know if I tell Mallory to stay down by the pool, it will tip off the cops so all I can do is stand helplessly as my girl slowly climbs the hill until she’s next to Aly.
“What’s up?” she says. Her voice is steady but her hand shakes. I want to walk over next to her and pull her into my arms but that wouldn’t be a very cousinly action.
“Call the lawyer,” I tell Felton. That’s all I can do at this point.
“Have you seen this girl before? She has the same name as you.” Aly shoves Mallory’s picture into her hands.
“Um…” Mallory is unsure of what to say but I finally catch on.
“Yeah, have you seen her?” I say.
“This is you,” says Officer Burton. He reaches behind him for a pair of cuffs.
“Are you blind, man? They don’t look anything alike.” I grab the picture out of Mallory’s hand and hold it up to her face.
“They’re the same person.”
“God, old people,” Aly says. “They think everyone looks the same. Does Mallory look like this person?” She takes the photo from me and waves it to the crowd. Everyone shakes their head, full of denial.
“Nah. Totally different. Our Mallory’s eyes are set farther apart.”
“The one in the picture has weird lips,” offers another.
“Get some glasses, man!” yells someone in the back.
“They’re not even the same person,” says Brad, the hacker. “I can do a computer analysis, but it’d only confirm what everyone else is saying. They aren’t even remotely the same. It’s like saying that I look like Carter.”
We all laugh at this since I outweigh him by about thirty pounds. Tim Burton’s cartoon face begins to grow confused. His confidence is shaken in the face of thirty-some teens telling him he’s blind.
“We should go,” his partner suggests quietly. “Captain Warner told you not to come out here.”
“Mr. Baker is on his way. He said that should the police be here when he arrives he will be filing the abuse of power suit first thing in the morning,” Felton announces.
I cock my head. “What’re you going to do?”
Burton angrily slaps his warrant papers against his pants leg. “I’ll be back,” he says finally.
“We’ll see,” I say. “Felton, show the men out.”
I take Mallory by the arm and march back down to the pool. “Turn the music back on,” I yell and the sound of Lizzo crooning about tossing her hair back and forth fills the air. Mallory shivers. I find a blanket and throw it around her shoulders. “You okay?” I ask.
“No,” she admits.
I tuck her against my side. “Let’s get you a beer. It’ll warm you up.”
“Ah, that’s not possible,” Aly informs me.
“Why not?”
“We poured it all in the pool,” Ben sheepishly informs me. “We didn’t know what else to do with it,” he cries when I stare at him in disbelief.
“What’d you do with the bottles?”
“Air ducts in the pool house.”
I smack a fist against my forehead. “JFC, you morons. Fine. I’ll hire someone to clean it out.”
“You’re having us back next week, right?” he says.
“Are you fucking kidding me? I’m never opening the gates again.”
“He’s having a party next week,” Mallory chirps.
“What?” I shout.
She looks up at me with a pleading expression. “It’s the least you can do. Everyone here stood up for me. We have to pay them back.”
“We?”
She nods shyly, gives me a tiny smile and then presses her face to my shoulder. We. Holy fuck.
“Okay, party at Carter’s every weekend until the end of time,” I declare.
Chapter 20
Mallory
I feel safe in Carter’s arms but when the door to his place closes behind us, safety engulfs me. I turn in his arms, wrapping my own around his neck as I pull him down to kiss me. I push my cold body into his. He’s all warmth and protection—something I’ve never felt from any other person in my life before. All the anger I’ve been holding on to melts away in this moment. I now know what Aly said is right. The reason that Carter offered me the money to stay wasn’t for me to sleep with him but because he cares about me. Tears are filling my eyes thinking of the way he went to bat for me. It is my undoing. It is the thing that breaks my resolve and has me giving in to what I truly feel for him. The push-pull game that we’ve been playing is only that. A game. I’m in love with this man.
I press my tongue into his mouth. He seems almost shocked for a moment before he begins kissing me back. His hand digs into my wet air as he lifts me off my feet. My ass meets some sort of surface but I’m too wrapped up to care what it is. I never want this moment to end. I don’t know how long we kiss but when I try and reach for his swim trunks his hands stop me. The need to be as close to him as possible races through me.
“Babe, wait.”
My breath catches. I stare up at him. Thoughts of him not wanting me cross my mind for one second before I shut them down. I can feel his want for me in the way he kisses me back. I can see it in his eyes. I can feel it in the deepest part of me. I knew his talk that first night was all lies about not wanting me. I can see now that some of his moments of acting like a jerk are because of the way he’s feeling toward me. All of those sarcastic things that he said to me were his way of expressing himself. He liked to get me worked up even if it made him out to be the asshole.
“I don’t want to wait. I want this. I need this.” I need to feel closer to him so badly my whole body aches for it. What if this is my only chance? I don’t want to let it slip away from me. He sucks in a deep breath, dropping his forehead to mine. His eyes fall closed as he lets out a sigh. I know he is trying to get himself under control. I’ve seen him make the same face throughout this week when he wanted to reach for me but I’d step away.
“I want you to go take a shower and warm up. You’re freezing.” His eyes slowly open. My face drops for a second. Rejection stings my heart. I lick my lips and try to regain my composure.
“You’re telling me no?” I hate the insecurity in my own voice.
“Fuck no. I’m not telling you no.” He pulls back a little, looking at me like I’ve lost my mind. Relief fills me instantly. “Everyone down there backed us tonight. I need to go back down and make
sure everyone gets home safe. They kept my girl safe and I’m going to keep them safe. I owe them that.” I smile. Asshole Carter is nowhere to be found right now. Though I’m sure when he goes back down to the party he’ll be barking orders but those orders will be with everyone’s best interest at heart. “You shower and get in our bed. When I get back, you’re all mine.” He smiles.
I force a smile back. Not because that doesn’t sound wonderful but because it does. I know that reality is catching up to me. I know when Carter comes back that I’ll be long gone. That I’ll never get the chance to be in his bed. Sadness overwhelms me but I push it down. I know that I need to let him walk back downstairs and go on with his life. My troubled past is only going to cause him headaches that he doesn’t need or deserve. I reach for him one last time.
“Kiss me like you mean it,” I tell him. Giving him a hard time. It is one of my favorite things to do with him. Someone has to give them to him. Who will after I am gone? I fight back a whimper at the thought of someone else giving him a hard time. I feel like it’s something special that we share. Something that I don’t want anyone else to have. I should be the only one that has that right.
Carter takes my mouth, letting me know exactly how much he means it. I savor every second of what will be my last taste of him. I try to commit to memory the way his mouth feels on mine, his scent, and most of all the kindness that he has shown me. Sometimes the timing isn’t right in life and you have to let a person go even though you know that you’ll regret it for the rest of your life. It’s about doing what’s right for the other person. Like Carter being a dick at times to make me not be so on edge or sad. I know he can easily play the part but I also understand his reasons for it now.
“Shower,” he orders. “And throw that fucking swimsuit away!” he shouts as he half runs out the door, making me smile after him. He loved and hated the swimsuit. Further showing how full of shit he’s been about not being attracted to me that first day.
With a heavy heart I slide off the kitchen island and head toward the closet. I do shower quickly and dig for my old bag and clothes. I don’t take any of the stuff Carter bought me. I can’t bring myself to do it. Except for a hoodie hanging up with his name on the back. I snag it, pulling it over my head. Then I find the stolen money I took from my mom’s boyfriend and lay it down. I know it doesn’t cover what Carter spent on me but it is all I have. I couldn’t let Carter get tangled in with my mess. He has a bright future ahead of him. Every college wants him. He is going to be a star. No way could he afford to have some criminal girlfriend. It is, after all, what I am considered. I did steal the wallet and I’m not going to let the first person to ever show me true kindness and maybe even love go down because of me.
