Fourth a Lie (GODDESS ISLES Book 4)

by Pepper Winters

  His body pumped volcanic heat all while our skin still held icy droplets from our shower. His hair dripped onto my back. My hair dripped into the sink.

  His tongue licked my neck, long possessive laps, running over the punctures from his teeth. His pupils blazed an otherworldly blue, glowing with dangerous curses and frostbitten rancour.

  “Loving you is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I hate it. I curse it.” He bit me again. “I curse you.”

  I shivered at how dark his voice was—how dismal and destroyed.

  The longer he fucked me, the more his eyes darkened until they no longer held blue, just shadows. Shadow-black curses and cusses, a dungeon trapping his kindness and making him mean.

  “Sully, I—”

  “Don’t.” He ran his nose over my wet hair, his eyes snapping closed. Misery etched his features, blending with frenzied ferocity. “You will let me fuck you. You owe me this. You owe me your soul, seeing as you fucking stole mine.”

  He rutted into me with single-minded determination.

  My pain was his, and his was mine.

  Fate’s nasty trick where love was concerned.

  Fall for someone, and you didn’t just fall for their heart and happiness but also their flaws and fury.

  I arched my back, giving in to the feralness between us.

  I didn’t need Euphoria to delete my decorum. I didn’t wait for a drug to wipe away shame at being spread and at his mercy. I stared at us in the mirror, and I liked what I saw.

  I shivered at the picture of two creatures fucking each other. Not to procreate like nature intended. Not for love like romance dictated.

  But for hate.

  A hate born from the knowledge that we’d survived in a world on our own perfectly fine. We’d succeeded in chosen paths. We’d grown and evolved without missing the other.

  But now...now that was impossible.

  We would no longer be whole unless we were together. Our simplicity of being a perfunctory person was over now, now we knew what it felt like to belong.

  Whatever Sully battled.

  Whatever conversation would follow this could only hold one truth: two self-reliant people had gone and done the worst possible thing. We’d become dependent, obsessed, utterly and totally besotted with the one thing that would never let us be free again.

  I’m his.

  He’s mine.

  That irrefutable fact made my core clench around his invasion, possessive over him, my own temper snarling up my legs and into my heart.

  I would always fight for him and against him.

  I would never be so weak to let him destroy our bond.

  That was my vow.

  Just like his glowed in his eyes as his cock continued to pound into me. He loved me in every nasty, nice, wicked, and wonderful way.

  And he hated it.

  He hated that I knew how much he loved me.

  He hated that I loved him as much in return.

  Holding his stare, I licked my lips and let go. I gave myself entirely to him. I moaned and spread my legs farther, begging the way he wanted. “Fuck me, Sully.” I tossed my head as much as I could in his grip, deliberately cascading my hair over my shoulder in wet coils.

  His jaw clenched, fire burned in his eyes.

  His pace turned from deep and penetrating to fierce and fast. “Stop it.”

  “Stop?” I shook my head. “I can’t. I need you deeper. I want you to fuck me until you choose me. Choose me over revenge—”

  “What the hell do you know of revenge?” His hand around my nape squeezed hard, his hips pulsing with vicious thrusts. “You know nothing about retribution—”

  “Fuck me, Sully.” I didn’t want him chasing that path. I wanted him to be here. With me. Totally, entirely. Mine.

  His creatures could have him once I was through. His loyalties and long lists of responsibilities could wait until we’d finished.

  Shoving my hips back, making both of us groan with his depth, I begged, “Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me.”

  And that was it for his self-control.

  He switched from man to monster and fucked me.

  Hard and fast.

  Painful and punishing.

  Over and over.

  Thrusting and rutting, bruising me just as I asked.

  The wildness of him was what pushed me over the edge.

  The beauty of watching sweat mingle with his shower, his pain bleed into pleasure, his loathing fire into lust.

  He was undone.

  I came as his head fell back, revealing the expanse of his powerful throat, the sweeps of his collarbones, the ridges of his muscles. I came as his balls pressed against my clit and his cock throbbed inside me. I came as he jerked and jettisoned, spurting his own release, dousing me in cum, over and over, coating me with every spasm and twitch of his powerful body.

  I came harder than Euphoria.

  Harder than elixir.

  I came for him.

  Because I knew what it felt like to be on the brink of losing him.

  And I would never ever let that happen.

  Chapter Seven

  ALL YOU HAVE TO say is that you faked it.

  You don’t love her.

  You don’t want her.

  She means nothing.

  Say that.

  Only that.

  And she’ll go.

  I sighed heavily, my heart in fucking pieces on the floor.

  We’d run out of time.

  I’d already gambled her life by giving in to the desire between us. Our sex had been unhealthy. An act that had left us both scrambling in the dark for our stolen souls.

  And now, I was supposed to find the strength to take away her choices all over again. I didn’t have time for a proper negotiation. I didn’t have time for a load of bullshit about tattered love and stubborn goodbyes.

  Drake had given me three hours.

  Those three hours were rapidly spilling through my fingers and I needed her gone.

  I’d named this island Batari, thanks to the Indo word for goddess. Serigala hadn’t been protected by deities or demons...but this island was. I would fight till my dying breath to ensure Drake never stole another goddamn thing from me.

  And I’d start by sending Jinx home because I couldn’t offer her what she deserved.

  I eyed Eleanor as she dressed.

  Leaning against the doorframe of her walk-in wardrobe, I remained naked from our war. I crossed my arms, cursing the well-spent cock between my legs.

  I’d known if I’d touched her, I wouldn’t have the strength to go through with this.

  But now...now we were no longer joined, no longer fighting, and our energy had depleted to a tense surrender...perhaps I could finish it.

  Maybe I stood a chance at saving her.

  Tell her.

  Tell her you feel nothing. That it was all an illusion.

  Tell her anything you fucking want apart from the goddamn miserable truth that you’re a sad, pathetic bastard who can barely breathe at the thought of saying goodbye.

  Clearing my throat, I dug my fingers into my eyes, rubbing away the sudden sting, activating images of smoking pelts and the rancid stench of seared meat.

  I doubted I would ever get such smells and memories out of my mind.

  Use them.

  Wield them.

  If I continued drowning in death, perhaps then I would have the endurance to kick Eleanor from my shores before Drake arrived.

  Dropping my hands, my gaze caught Eleanor’s.

  She stood in a simple teal sundress that skated around her knees. Her hair hung in seaweed coils over her shoulders. Her lips were swollen from mine. Her nipples still pebbled beneath the dress.

  But it was her eyes that gutted me.

  Those incredible silver eyes that’d once haunted my dreams and now doomed my future.

  She knew.

  She always knew.

  She knew the moment she met me that I was hers just as I knew she was mi
ne.

  No matter what lies I fed her. No matter what fiction I tried to sell as fact, she would argue and defeat each one.

  We could battle for hours, days, years.

  We could battle until we found ourselves at a fucking altar, promising to live and die together.

  The flash of her in a white dress with bare feet and an orchid in her hair, walking in the shallows of my shores, coming to marry me on my beach.

  Fuck, I could barely stand.

  My stomach fisted into an agonising ball.

  She couldn’t hate me for this.

  After all, I had warned her.

  I warned her so many fucking times that loving me was not a wise choice.

  Her dress swayed around her knees as she moved toward me. My own knees threatened to send me crashing to the floor. The fact that she wore clothing and I wore nothing kept me extra exposed: a man with nothing else to play but still determined to somehow win.

  “Sully...” Her eyes sprung with tears, knowing without words everything I thought. “Stop.” She cupped my cheek, making me flinch. “Stop torturing yourself with lies you know are pointless.”

  I captured her wrist, pulling her touch away. “They’re not pointless if they achieve what I need.”

  “What you need is me.”

  I huffed miserably. “What I need is for you to be free.”

  “I am free.” She smiled sadly. “I’m free because I’m with you.”

  Skittles and Pika flew into the wardrobe, bravely venturing to see if the aggressive lust between us had dispersed. The aggression might’ve faded, but our lust would never dim. It existed between us in every stare, sigh, and stroke.

  Fuck...I can’t do it.

  You have no choice.

  Arming myself against the perfect image of Eleanor as Skittles descended trustingly onto her shoulder, I swallowed back my heartbreak.

  Pika chirped, sensing my despair, and landed on my head despite my wet hair. He tugged at my strands, making my heart bleed harder.

  I would still have one thing that loved me.

  I’d survived my entire life with just a parrot’s love.

  I could survive again.

  Balling my hands, I said as coldly and as carefully as I could, “Our time is over, Eleanor. I won’t disrespect you by lying. I won’t stand here and attempt to make you believe I never loved you. But I will demand loyalty and obedience. I’m not asking, I’m telling. You are leaving tonight. You may remember me, but you will never see me again.”

  I braced myself for her tirade.

  I held an invisible crutch so I wouldn’t fall into a worthless beggar at her feet.

  But a fist hammered on the door, real life intruded, and the clock finished its final countdown.

  Tearing my gaze from hers, I cupped my cock for decency and stormed to face my fate.

  Chapter Eight

  PAIN.

  There were different levels of it. Different methods of it. Different versions of different reasons full of different deliveries.

  But this pain?

  The pain Sully had just punctured me with?

  I couldn’t breathe around it. I couldn’t see beyond it. I’d honestly never felt such catastrophic, claustrophobic...

  Pain.

  Not because I believed he didn’t love me. Not because he’d dishonoured me by trying to make me swallow a lie. But because he was resolute, resigned...deadened to his decision and already suffering the accompanying agony.

  He can’t do this.

  He can’t end us.

  It was unthinkable.

  Stumbling forward, I clutched the doorframe as Sully marched naked with Pika on his head to answer the door. For anyone else, the image would be comical. For Sully, it made him all the more royal. All the more regal and untouchable.

  Keeping his hand between his legs, he swung open the door, his back straight, his muscles locked.

  A guard I’d seen lurking around the gardens during my weeks here bowed his head in respect. “Your clothes, courtesy of Mr. Moor.”

  Sully took the bundle. “Tell him thanks. His inability to keep his nose out of other people’s business has proven to be convenient.”

  The guard nodded. “He also advised that the men are at their posts. We’re ready.” Pulling something from his waistband, he placed it on top of Sully’s clothing. His eyes didn’t stray from his boss’s face; the fact that he was nude didn’t seem to faze him. “Your weapon, sir.”

  Weapon?

  My heart skipped, adding worry to my pain.

  Why had the entire island suddenly turned black with foreboding?

  I stumbled from the walk-in wardrobe as Sully closed the door and strode toward my bed. I followed him, dazed and soul sore, hating the dread covering my heart in sticky tar.

  My eyes locked on the weapon.

  A gun.

  Black and lethal, despicable and menacing.

  The sight of the morbid gun on my pristine white sheets petrified me.

  The truth of the matter swarmed into comprehension.

  His brother was coming here. His brother was going to try to kill him. His brother was the reason for all of this awful pain.

  “Sully...” I moved toward him, my eyes drinking him in as he tugged on a black pair of boxer-briefs, black slacks, and a black shirt. A uniform intended to camouflage him in the dark. A solider ready for bloodshed.

  I ignored his lies about us being over. I pretended what he’d said in the wardrobe never happened, and I tried a different tactic. “If you want me to leave...come with me.”

  He sighed heavily as if my attempt at compromise was too hard for him to handle. “Enough, Jinx.” He pinched the bridge of his nose, squeezed his eyes shut, and groaned low in his chest. “Enough.”

  “You don’t get to shut me out just because you’ve made a decision. That’s not how a relationship works.”

  “A relationship...?” His eyebrows tugged low over his tortured gaze. “We don’t have a relationship. I told you...we’re over.”

  “I’m doing my best to be respectful of what you’ve been through in the past few hours, but your decision to cut me from your life without talking to me is by far the cruellest thing you’ve ever done.”

  “Cruellest?” He chuckled darkly. “Has your love for me blinded you so completely?”

  “It’s because of my love for you that I’m willing to stand up and refuse your decision to send me—”

  “I’m doing it so I won’t do anything worse to you.” His temper flared. “I’m doing it because I don’t have a goddamn choice. Enough, Jinx.”

  Pika swooped from Sully’s hair, dislodged by his shout. He landed on the sheets, glowering at the gun. He squawked in his stilted English. “Bye-bye! Pika!”

  Skittles trilled loudly, landing beside her feathered brother, also glaring at the gun as if they both knew it caused mayhem and murder.

  Sully huffed, nudging Pika away from attacking the trigger and grabbing the weapon from both parrots. Keeping his jaw locked against Pika’s antics as he pecked at the sheets in frustration, he tucked the gun between his spine and waistband.

  He sighed again, gathering final courage to finish this.

  I won’t let him.

  He can’t.

  “Help me understand what you saw over there. Tell me, purge to me...maybe if you share—”

  His lips thinned as he shook his head sharply. “I never want to discuss what happened there.” He pinched the bridge of his nose, squeezing his eyes shut. “I can’t get the images out of my head; I won’t cement them any further with conversation.”

  “It might help.”

  His chin tilted up, his turbulent gaze meeting mine. “The only thing that will help is knowing you’ll be far away from me. Far from my brother and his threats. Far from me with my tendencies. This was a mistake. You were a mistake. It’s time I rectified that.” With muscles braced, he stormed over to me, clamped his strong hands on my cheeks, and kissed me.

&n
bsp; He kissed me as if he wanted to destroy me.

  A crackle of chemistry.

  A sizzle of sensuality.

  A bone-deep longing that would never end.

  A mistake?

  This wasn’t a mistake...we were the only thing that made sense.

  I kissed him back, moaning as our tongues swept together.

  Pika and Skittles took wing.

  A gust of humid air whipped into the villa.

  Energy prickled over our skin.

  There was magic between us.

  A rare, mystical connection. A bond that ought to be invincible and priceless...but Sully was determined to kill it.

  He made a noise in his chest that dropped my stomach into my toes. A growl, a grunt, a groan of despair and damnation. His hands skated from my cheeks to my throat. His entire frame quaked with tightly reined rage, but his touch remained achingly soft. So, so soft as his thumb tickled my jawline.

  My eyes snapped closed as he deepened our kiss.

  Wet heat, endless belonging.

  A goodbye neither of us wanted.

  Ending the kiss, he wedged his forehead against mine.

  His height meant he had to curl into me—a man who I could shelter beneath for the rest of my life if he’d have me. A man who could snatch that shelter away whenever he wanted.

  Inhaling hard, he cupped my cheeks. “I only have the power to say this once. Don’t interrupt. Don’t argue. Nothing you say will sway my decision, so don’t waste your breath.”

  I huffed with anger. “I’m not going to stay passive while you decide something I don’t agree with, Sully.”

  His fingers bit harder into my cheeks. “What did I just say?”

  “That you love me and you’ll come with me if you’re so determined to send me away.”

  His jaw twitched with temper. “This is my home. I will not leave it undefended.”

  “And you are my home. Therefore, I will not leave you alone.”

  “Christ, why did it have to be you, huh? Why couldn’t I have fallen for a girl who obeys?”

  I flinched, taking it personally because he meant it personally. He said he’d custom ordered me. He’d basically done this to himself by kidnapping me. “If you wanted a girl who obeys, you shouldn’t have chased after a dream.” I attempted to smile, despite the black cloud covering my heart.