Change

by Melissa Stevens

  *I think I'll go shift back, thanks. I'll be back in a minute* I thought at him, heading for the bedroom.

  Once in my bedroom, I sat down in the spot where I had shifted earlier and concentrated for a few moments on shifting back into human form, when the tingling stopped I stood up and quickly dressed again. I walked out of the bedroom to find Brandon standing out on my balcony in front of the grill, the scent of the steaks on the grill making my stomach growl.

  "Wow!" I told him, "Those smell really great!"

  "I told you, shifting twice takes a lot of calories and you need to replace them. These are almost done. Can you go grab a plate to put them on? We‘ll separate them and add the rest in the kitchen."

  After shutting off the grill Brandon carried the plate with the steaks into the kitchen, "Just have a seat and let me finish here," he dished the steaks onto separate plates and added the sides he’d prepared.

  "You shouldn't be waiting on me in my own kitchen, Brandon. Hhow about I get the drinks?"

  "That would be nice"

  "What do you want?"

  "Tea would be great if you have any, if not I'll take a soda."

  "You know me, if there's no tea in the house it's almost a catastrophe," I pulled out two plastic cups and filled them with ice before pouring the tea. "You'll have to live with plastic, 'cause I'm not risking handling any more glass for a while"

  He chuckled, "Not a problem"

  I put cups down in front of the two chairs then grabbed flatware and napkins out of the drawer for both of us. I was headed back to the table with them as Brandon set both plates down on the table next to the glasses. We took our seats and started eating. I was surprised at how hungry I felt and how quickly I devoured the food in front of me.

  "Are you feeling more comfortable about your ability to shift yet?" Brandon asked in between bites.

  "Some. I'm less afraid of suddenly shifting and being stuck in wolf form now. That's something."

  "It'll get easier with practice, and if you try, you can learn to shift fast enough to change in mid-leap."

  "Really?"

  "Yep. I can’t do it, but I've seen it done. I have to admit though, I've never tried it, so I don't know exactly how difficult it is to learn."

  "But you have to admit. It would be cool.” I said.

  "It would be cool," He admitted before he changed the subject "You're gonna want to work on your reluctance to be undressed in front of others though. It isn't that the Kindred are immodest exactly. It's more that we're just very comfortable with casual nudity. We learn not to make an issue of it."

  "Really?" I wasn’t sure if I could become so casual about it.

  "Think about it this way. We often run in groups, several of us will meet somewhere very rural, and shift, run in wolf form together then shift back before heading back into town. No bedrooms, no restrooms to change in."

  "I guess it makes sense, but still."

  "I know the idea of its new to you, and it makes you uncomfortable. But think about it for a while, get used to the idea."

  "I’ll try." We ate in a comfortable silence for a few minutes.

  Soon we’d both finished our meal. We cleaned up our plates, loading them in to the empty dishwasher, before going into the living room and to sit down. Brandon broke the silence "You're going to want to call and tell Bill about the telepathy. He'll most likely assign someone to work with you and help you develop the skill."

  "I'll tell him, but I'll probably wait until tomorrow. I'm supposed to see if I can get some time off and go see him in the morning if I can, if not, I'll call him and let him know."

  We visited for a little while longer before Brandon took off and I started getting ready to go to the weekly family dinner at my parent’s house.

  I changed into something a little nicer than what I wore around the house and took the time to comb out my hair on my way out the door to the weekly family dinner. By the time I got there I was feeling much more comfortable about shifting. I was no longer afraid that I would suddenly find myself as a wolf again and not be able to shift back.

  Sunday dinner at my parent’s house is a mandatory event for everyone. The only acceptable excuses for missing dinner, if you are in town, are sudden serious illness, and death. Yours.

  That particular Sunday I’d planned to arrive a little early so I could help Mom with the last of the cooking. When I got to the house I didn't bother knocking on the door, none of us kids did, before I let myself in. I called out as I closed the door to let them know it was me. They both came to greet me, stepping out of different rooms, but with the same purpose in mind. My mother popped out of the kitchen while my father had a bit farther to come from the living room at the end of the short hallway.

  While hugging my mother I noticed that she carried the scents of yeast and cinnamon with her, they were like a soft dusting on the surface of her skin, which held a natural lemony scent, and it made me wonder briefly what she had made for dessert. My father's customary bear hug smelled of soil and the oils and fuels that his tractors often smelled of, it hovered over the sweet almost sugary scent that seemed to come directly from his skin. I followed my mother into the kitchen to help her with dinner while my father returned to the living room to the baseball game he had been watching.

  "How has your week been?" Mom asked as we got to work.

  "Busy." I replied, "Work mostly, but I went hiking with Brandon on Friday, spent some time with Izzy on Saturday."

  "And how is Brandon doing these days?" She asked.

  "Pretty good. He's still working up at the mine, but he's on his seven day, so our days off lined up and we were able to get together for the first time in a while," I said, referring to the week off that all the shift workers at the mine get once a month.

  "That's nice. How are his parents?"

  "Good, as far as I know. He hasn't mentioned them in a while and I didn't think to ask when I saw him this time."

  We visited a few minutes longer before my sister Brittney and her family arrived. I stepped out into the hall to see them. The kids were in their usual wild animal state of excitement, if I didn’t know better I would have thought that they hadn't seen them in months instead of the matter of days that it had actually been. They were excited to see me too. I like to think of myself as their favorite Aunt. They know that when Aunt Nickie is around there will always be something fun happening. What can I say; I love the little heathens and do as much as I can with them. I often pick them up and take them to the park for a couple hours of exhausting fun when I can make the time. But I have to admit that at the end of the outing, I'm glad I can take them home to their mama and retire to the peace and quiet of my own apartment.

  I picked up 4 year old Jimmy as he raced by and swung him up above my head, he squealed and laughed before I lowered him until I could hug and kiss his squirming body. I inhaled the clean grassy scent of the little boy, savoring the freshness. He swiftly escaped the 'baby kisses' and ran off to see what mischief he could get into as I sat him back on the floor. Standing, I reached over and took the baby, 1 year old Tammy from my sister. I tickled and snuggled her too before settling her on one hip as I hugged her tight. She had the clean scent of her shampoo like a halo around her, she also smelled of a sweet strawberry candy scent and something in me told me it wasn't an added scent like her shampoo, it was just her.

  Leaving my sister in the kitchen talking to Mom, I herded Jimmy in front of me as I carried Tammy into the living room to see Grandpa and so I could say hello to Tracy. Once the kids had climbed all over and said their hellos to my father I took them over to the corner of the room and we dug through the basket of toys that Mom kept there for them. Many of the toys were leftovers from when we were young. There were a couple of favorites from each of us kids in the basket, though there were plenty of newer toys mixed in. It made me feel good to see my niece and nephew enjoying the toys I had loved as a child.

  The kids soon chose a bucket of large plas
tic building blocks and I sat on the floor with building with them for a few minutes. Once they were both engrossed in their creations I left them under their father's watchful eye and rejoined my mother and sister in the kitchen.

  I walked into the room in time to hear Brittney say to Mom "She said she's been seeing him for a few months. I think she really likes him. If things continue to go this well she may bring him down the next time she comes."

  "Who?" I asked.

  "Pace," she said, referring to our sister Payson. Pace was unable to make it tonight because she can only afford to make the trip from Tucson, where she lives, about once every month or six weeks, and this wasn’t one of those weeks.

  "That’ll be nice, I look forward to meeting him. She hasn't brought anyone home in quite a while," I said, going back washing up the dishes we’d used.

  "It will be good to see her and him too, if she decides to bring him," Mom said, “I miss you all when you’re not around.”

  "I told her to bring him, we'd like to meet him, so who knows if she will." Britt continued, "And I think Cam's serious about Janelle. Like maybe ring serious." Cam is Cameron, one of our brothers; he had been seeing Janelle for a couple of years. Currently Brittney's the only one of us kids who’s married or has kids, and she's been eager since she found wedded bliss to see the rest of us that way.

  A few minutes later, right at six o'clock, Raine walked in the front door. He made the rounds, kissing Mom and hugging Britt and I before he went into the living room to see everyone there. But after just a few minutes he came back into the kitchen. He insisted that Mom have a seat and just visit while he took over her share of the dinner prep.

  I stopped what I was doing, and stood looking at my brother, something was different about him but I couldn't put my finger on it. He looked the same as he normally did. His long dark hair was pulled back in a neat braid that laid half way down his back. His face was the rounded features of those with predominantly European ancestry with the exception of his chiseled cheekbones, though his skin is much darker. It was obvious, at least to me, that he had a mixed heritage but I’d never been able to figure out exactly what mixture, but then I'd never actually asked either. Apparently I kept my attention on him too long and he noticed.

  "What's up, Trouble?" he asked, using an old family nickname.

  "I'm not sure…" I said as I continued to look at him, "Something's different but I can't place it." That got my mother and Brit's attention and they started trying to spot some difference in Raine.

  "Don't know what it could be, nothing's changed. I haven't even changed shampoos in months." He said lifting one brow as he looked at me.

  "I don't know either, but I know it's something."

  "I can't see anything different, Nickie" Mom said.

  "Me either." Brittney put in.

  It suddenly occurred to me that maybe it wasn’t that something about him had changed but that I was now picking up something I'd always missed. That perhaps I'm the one that's changed.

  "I'm probably just imagining it," I said, letting the topic drop as I went about setting the table for dinner. I finished filling the glasses and cups with ice while Brittney set the roast and sides on the table and Raine added the salad and dressing.

  Cameron showed up just as we were about to call the rest of the family to the table. He was just late enough that Dad would chew him out about it later. Like a typical sibling, I was just glad it wasn't me that was in line for that ass chewing. I hugged Cam hello, noting the scent of leather that seemed to come from his skin and the sweat from his day that was a thin coating over it. It made me think back and realize that when I had hugged Raine I had smelled leather but it was different, it wasn't his scent it was just the scent of the leather he spent so much time carrying as part of his uniform. Raine's skin had had an almost scent to it the sharp tang of sage mixed with the gentler more mild aroma of oregano and again I wondered exactly what it was about him that seemed so different now.

  We all gathered around the table and took our seats, my father quickly but solemnly blessed the meal before we all dug in.

  "I'm sorry I was so late, I got called in this morning. I got off with just enough time to rush home and change. If I had been five minutes later I would have shown up in my uniform."

  "I thought you were supposed to be off today?" Mom asked.

  "I was, but there was a three car accident coming off the mountain and they called me in to help cover."

  "That's too bad, anyone we know?"

  "Nah, no one local, and no fatalities, but they had to fly a couple out to Tucson. They'll probably live but they were pretty bad off."

  "So, what happened?" Raine asked.

  "Driver thought he knew a lot more about mountain driving than he did. He was crossing over the yellow line on switch backs coming down the mountain. He'd missed the fact that there was a car going up and head-on'd him. The car behind him, apparently some friend, was following too close and rear ended the first guy. There was an assortment of injuries all around, but only the two in the first car were seriously hurt."

  I heard a voice in my head, *I wish we could talk about something happier during dinner.*

  "How's Janelle?" I asked.

  "She's good, I would have brought her tonight but she just got off an eighteen hour shift and she was so tired she was slurring things together when she spoke." Cam replied.

  "I'm sure that a good night's sleep will set her right, eighteen hours is a long shift," Mom put in.

  "It is, someone called in sick and she stayed to cover their shift. The money's good but it exhausts you."

  We had a good meal and used the time to catch up with each other. Shiloh was still in Flagstaff, going to school. She had opted to take a summer class and stay there to make it a little bit faster to get her degree. It also meant that she could have her pick of apartments in the area when most of the other students cleared out for the summer. This meant she wouldn't be at dinner that night, or much at all for a while yet. I guess, now that we are adults with lives of our own, four out of six isn't a bad average for Sunday dinner, but I did miss my sisters and I’d be glad when they were both home again.

  I always enjoy Sunday evenings with my family, but it felt off tonight. I think it was mostly that I wanted to tell them the latest with me. I knew I couldn't and I was afraid that even if I could, how would they react? I was having a hard enough time dealing with what I was learning about myself, they would think I was losing my mind.